How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of a crisis in family relations: advice from a psychologist on what to do after a quarrel

A crisis in family relationships happens in every family. The main thing is to get through this difficult period correctly, so that a stronger, happy family emerges victorious from the crisis. During a difficult period for both spouses, it is wrong to involve friends and relatives in family problems. How to improve your relationship with your husband on the verge of divorce A professional with extensive experience and knowledge of the psychology of family relationships will advise.

How to improve relations with your wife on the verge of divorce? Where to begin?

Good afternoon dear friends!
Today's topic will be interesting for men. Especially married ones. How many of you know how to improve relationships with your wife on the verge of divorce? Especially when you yourself messed up or don’t understand the reason. Let's try to figure it out without complicated explanations. In fact, human life is not that complicated. We create it ourselves and can fully understand it. This means they are able to regulate and change it. The main thing is not to faint, this is not our style, and not to be afraid of anything.

Fornication

It happens spontaneously, consciously, as a necessity, as a pastime. Depending on the type, the essence and meaning changes:

spontaneous - can be a one-time distraction from problems, stress relief;
conscious - implies sympathy, persistent desire, interest;
as a necessity - caused by the need to relieve sexual tension during the absence of a permanent partner;
as a pastime - the main component is boredom, monotony, the desire to add color.

So what happened

If the question of divorce arises, then this is already a serious application. Surely this is not just a woman’s whim. Go and understand them though. But no, women are always more sensitive to the issue of starting a family than men. This means that your sweetheart is categorically not happy with something. So the main question is: what’s wrong with her?

Of the variety of reasons leading to the breakdown of relationships, we will highlight the most common:

treason and, most likely, not on her part;
lies in married life on one or both sides;
addiction (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling) in a state of illness;
everyday life, long-term unresolved housing and financial issues;
sexual dissatisfaction;
influence of relatives and friends;
too different life priorities.

If your reason does not match the list above, but you know it, then that’s good. If you don't know, then you need to find out. In a calm conversation with my wife. You are a man. Therefore, without emotions or reproaches, ask direct questions. And wait patiently for answers.

Keep in mind that women very often provoke us into aggression with their behavior. Therefore, do not try to fall for this bait. All significant life issues should be resolved only with a cold mind.

Absence

It is known that two opposite charges have a strong attraction between each other. This is true for physics, but hardly for object relations in a married couple.

You can forgive your partner’s sweet eccentricities if they are few and do not affect the other’s quality of life. Otherwise, the whole difference between partners becomes one big problem. When one loves an active lifestyle, the other’s passion for reading books on the couch will initially anger the first, and then alienate him.

Where to start

First of all, answer yourself this question: do you really want to live with this woman for the rest of your days? Just to understand what is holding you back with her. After all, it may not be love at all, but fear of loneliness, weak self-esteem, fear of freedom (uncertainty).

For the existence of a strong family, there is a rule in psychology: a man is obliged to love a woman, and it is enough for a woman to respect a man.

But how to improve relations with a wife on the verge of divorce is the second question. If you really love your wife, then the chances of success are great. And here are the simplest and most effective techniques for getting closer to your soul mate.

Communicate with her constantly. Women are very emotional, sensual creatures. They need to communicate constantly because they experience a lot of emotions. And they need to go somewhere. Therefore, learn to hear your friend.
Touch and hug. Hugs are considered the most effective antidepressants. This way you send signals to her subconscious about her importance to you. In addition, your spouse feels your care and protection.
Make important decisions together. In other words, try to discuss pressing family issues. In this way, mutual trust between you is strengthened.
Give her compliments. This is generally a basic female need. This individual of the human race needs constant confirmation of her femininity. And they can only find it here. Don't forget the classic: whoever dines the girl dances her.

But these are common ways for everyone to restore a relationship with a woman.

It is important to understand here that almost 70% of divorces are caused by childish selfishness and unwillingness to listen to others.

In general, when you start a family, hurry up and grow up so as not to torment your significant other and not make others laugh.

Formula for the relationship between husband and wife

Happiness in the family depends on three main components:

feelings of security and safety,
emotional connection,
mutual understanding - when the desires and characteristics of a loved one are as clear as your own.

An emotional connection is that intimate, personal thing that unites two people in a couple. That which cannot be taken beyond the boundaries of the world of two.

If a woman tells everything to her mother and friends, and a man to a friend, then the mystery of the two is violated, and the secret is scattered throughout the world. The full cup of love and sharing is being poured out. How to nourish a relationship? Where to find strength, unity, inspiration?

Feelings are the seed of a relationship, they need to be protected only for each other

You can read about how important conversation is and how to build it correctly for spouses here.

I remember how my husband grumbled when I asked him to talk in the evenings: “Why are you telling all this? Don't you have any girlfriends? So find it!”

He was not ready to talk about subtle topics; he considered them “feminine.” Men don’t talk about feelings and experiences...

And I really wanted him to be my closest and only friend. Back then I still didn’t understand much. When I attended the “System-Vector Psychology” training, it turned out that all this was explainable.

Heart to heart conversations

Awakening a man’s desire to talk is a woman’s task. The wife does not always know how to do this correctly. Often women themselves are closed, or the tone of the dialogue is set in the format of complaints, insults, and lectures.

When a woman has not yet reached the brink and is ready to discuss her experiences in a positive way, this is almost a victory in the relationship. It is infinitely valuable that it is with her beloved husband that she wants to share her feelings. Don't miss this chance.

If you refuse, she will run to her friend and take all that feminine, intimate information to her, and not to you. It is the sincerity, openness, and trust of a woman that is the fuel for mutual feelings and attraction. This is what makes two people the only ones for each other. And this is what energizes a man, resulting in success in work and society.

Don't want to listen to complaints and claims? Start the conversation yourself.

— Ask your wife not to nag you for a week, suggest talking about feelings, dreams, desires, childhood.

— Watch films together that show empathy and make you want to cry. Share your feelings with each other.

Watching such a movie together or reading books together helps create an emotional connection. When you worry about the characters, you feel it together. Your souls are attuned, your feelings open deeper. No matter how painful it is to watch about war, heartbreaking films... They really help open hearts.

Conversations and understanding each other are the key to improving family relationships with your wife

Men are less inclined to have intimate conversations; showing feelings is considered unmanly. But this is the most effective remedy that will save the family and improve relationships.

No matter how much specific advice psychologists give: “buy flowers,” “go to a cafe,” “listen to her”... It doesn’t work.

It is important not just to listen to your wife, but to hear and understand. I have many examples of friends who, after visiting psychologists, were unable to improve their family relationships.

And I am very glad that the training helped them.

What can be fixed

Let's return to the list of common reasons for divorce. And let’s try to figure out how to improve relations with a wife on the verge of divorce based on these reasons.

Treason. You can fight to save your family if you have confidence. And the point is that your betrayal was a mistake. If you are not sure that this will not happen again, then it is better not to keep your spouse. Moreover, if she cannot forgive your accidental connection. It all depends on her upbringing.
Lie . This phenomenon will corrode married life like rust on thin metal. It should be abandoned. You can't build a long relationship on lies. And it’s much easier to live with a pure heart.
Addiction. You can get rid of it if you really want it. The fact is that any addiction is a psychological disease. You can't get rid of it without specialists. But first, realize that you have a problem, and not just a hobby.
Everyday life. This infection kills thousands of families every year. Unfortunately, this is an almost insoluble problem. Well, unless you quickly get a high-paying job. Or your inheritance will fall on your head. But there are no miracles in life.
Sexual dissatisfaction. Yes, this could very well be the case. We are so different. But you need to talk about this and not be shy. And maybe even contact a specialist. If this is the reason, then figure out what the difference is. Maybe divorce would be the best solution.
Influence of relatives and friends. This phenomenon is easy to fix. Your family is unique in its own way. Therefore, think with your head and listen to your heart. And giving advice is not a rewarding task. Because what is valuable to a person is his lived experience, not someone else’s story.
Different priorities. The situation here is deadlocked. For example, you strive for joint development, career growth, having and raising children. But your wife sees the meaning of life in travel and entertainment, and children are not included in her plans. Why do you need such a life partner?

Effective tips on how to save a marriage on the verge of divorce

It seems that just recently the married couple was happy. Hand in hand they listened to Mendelssohn's march, received many congratulations, spent time together with pleasure, gave birth to children, and some had grandchildren. And suddenly the marriage collapses. Instead of love, understanding, affection, tenderness, spouses treat each other aloofly and coldly. To save a family on the verge of divorce, you should listen to the advice of psychologists.

Reasons for divorce

All married couples are completely different, with their own traditions and stories. If a marriage is falling apart at the seams, this trouble can be caused by various reasons. A psychologist will tell you what to do to prevent family breakdown. Experts analyzed the prerequisites leading to the end of a marriage. In their opinion, the main reasons for divorce are:

Treason. It can break even the strongest relationships, destroy even the strongest love. In former times, women were convinced that men were polygamous, that they were hunters by nature, they needed a new object of passion for self-affirmation, that there was no man who would not go to the left at least once. But for a modern woman, even the slightest affair with her chosen one is a reason to end all relationships with him, even if you have lived together for many years. The situation may worsen if the partner becomes infected with a sexually transmitted disease or HIV infection.
Alcohol and drug addiction. Few spouses are willing to put up with the addictions of their loved one for a long time. In addition to these two addictions, two more have been added in our time - computer and gaming (gambling).
No children. If a husband or wife does not want or due to health reasons cannot leave offspring, separation can be predicted for this couple. Even if one of the spouses is infertile, it is not the disease itself that leads to divorce, but a categorical reluctance to correct the situation, for example, through adoption.
Partners are incompatible. This doesn't just apply to characters. Any disagreements can lead to a breakup, for example, if spouses have different national, religious, political beliefs, or they have different views on the process of raising children.
Material problems. Especially if one of the spouses refuses to look for work. Interesting fact: a couple of decades ago, women feared that they might be left alone, without the financial support of their husband, with a child. Modern ladies have adapted socially; they have no need to hold on to a boring marriage. Women often make successful careers and solve problems themselves. Becoming a nanny for an adult man is not part of their plans.
Inability of spouses to cope with difficulties. This often occurs in young families. A young husband and wife find themselves unprepared for everyday difficulties, especially if the reason for marriage was the bride’s pregnancy. A child is born and caring for him leads to a breakup. Another reason for divorce after the birth of a baby is the situation when the new mother devotes all her time to the child, and the husband has not gotten used to the new role and does not perceive himself as a father.
Intervention by third parties. Relatives and friends, imposing their opinions on how to live on the family, with their advice destroy the harmony within the marriage, thereby forcing the spouses to separate.
Couples who have been married for decades face another problem: grown children leave the house, and a void is created. If the spouses stayed married only for the sake of the children, after they began to live independently, the need to preserve the family disappears.
Illness or disability of a husband or wife can also lead to divorce if the healthy spouse does not find the strength and courage to cope with the difficulties that have arisen.
The use of physical or mental violence also leads to divorce.
Intimate problems. If one or both spouses are dissatisfied with intimate relationships in marriage, this will inevitably lead to the breakdown of the family.

Secrets that will help you get rid of family problems

Whatever the reason for the loss of mutual understanding, if the husband and wife are still together, then there is a chance to preserve the relationship. It’s just that one of the spouses must make concessions, even if he is right a thousand times. And the wife must do this, since she is the keeper of the hearth, the personification of peace, love, warmth and comfort in the house. No matter how much you want to remain proud and maintain your position, you can step over yourself in order to maintain peace in the family. A man without clear formulations is not able to understand the essence of the problem; often he simply does not understand why the quarrel arose. This is male nature, which must be come to terms with and conquer with cunning and affection, but in no case with claims and conditions. It is possible to restore your relationship with your husband by following several rules:

You can't turn on ignore. Women, offended by their husbands, stop talking to him. This shows how much they don't care about his opinion. You need to talk to your spouse and sort things out.
You need to be able to remain silent. In the midst of a quarrel, when mutual reproaches and complaints flow, it is important to be able to stop in time. At this moment I want to express everything, and it seems that this will make it easier. It is better to remain silent and resume the conversation when both spouses have cooled down.
During a showdown, you need to restrain yourself. Remind yourself mentally that you cannot shout, insult, or cry.
You need to be able to listen and hear. It is possible that you are the cause of the conflict, but your husband cannot convey his complaints because of your pride and unwillingness to listen.
If you cannot reach a compromise, you need to try to let go of the situation for a while.
Learn to forgive and apologize. Today this problem seems global, but after a while you will understand what trifles can have a destructive effect on relationships. Ask for forgiveness for your actions.

Is it worth fighting?

How to understand whether it makes sense to save a marriage or not? As soon as a conflict arises with your significant other, you should not rush and threaten that you will file for divorce. The first step is to free yourself from violent emotions. They do not allow us to objectively assess the situation at the moment.

You can try to re-experience all the most joyful moments with your partner, for example, remember the beginning of your acquaintance, all the feelings that you experienced at that time. View photos from joint events, vacations, travel.

But if your conclusion is disappointing, you admitted to yourself that you are keeping your family together out of fear of starting life over again, or you simply cannot justify why you are still with this particular person, most likely you will have to make a decision about divorce.

Disunity

A family is created by two different individuals with different values. During married life, two people adapt to each other to obtain the comfort of communication and intimacy. Until the values of one of them become the cornerstone of a stumbling block for the other. This happens due to categorical rejection of the lifestyle of another, and manifests itself over time. The interests of the candy-bouquet period, which were ignored or encouraged out of complacency, become the cause of a showdown.

Advice from a psychologist on what a woman should do if family relationships are at an impasse

Only in fairy tales do people live happily ever after a wedding, dying one day with a smile as very old men. In reality, married couples face many challenges. Some learn to overcome them together and continue to go through life hand in hand, others lose strength and break off relationships. How to save a marriage if you are on the verge of divorce, psychologists recommend:

Calm down, stop hysterics, get yourself in order, catch a positive wave.
Start a dialogue with your partner. Of course, this is difficult to do, especially if eloquence is not your element and you have not had frank conversations before. But you need to sit down on the sofa together and just talk. Now you need to understand how to build your life further, what each of you expects from marriage. Let the chosen one speak, do not interrupt, even if you want to add or object to something. There is no point in making claims. Your task is not to quarrel completely, but to find out what your spouse really wants.
If it’s difficult for you to say out loud everything you want, write your partner a letter where you explain your thoughts in detail. Try to convince him to respond to you in writing as well.
Read your husband's list and give him yours. If his letter upsets, angers, or disappoints you, try to accept the man’s opinion with respect and dignity.
Decide together what you will do next, and do not deviate from the plan.

Repairing relationships after husband's betrayal

Betrayal is always a deep psychological trauma for a woman.
But if you love your spouse so much or for some other reason are interested in continuing the relationship, you need to choose a certain line of behavior so as not to completely destroy the family. It is known that scandals have never helped strengthen relationships. The fact of betrayal already exists. There are two options for behavior.

First option

Pretend that you don't suspect anything. Get to know or even make friends with your husband's crush. Invite her to visit.

With this tactic you will kill several birds with one stone:

Make your friend feel guilty.
Give your husband the opportunity to compare you. And for the result to be in your favor, do not forget to put yourself in order and look at the proper level.
Deprive criminals of the joy of secret meetings by forcing them to spend more time together.

It is not a fact that your husband will make a choice in your favor. And not every woman is capable of playing such games and engaging in masochism.

Then consider the second option

If you are able to forgive betrayal, talk frankly with your loved one, tell him that you know everything, and ask him not to torment you, to make a choice. Don't push for pity. Be full of dignity. Then, no matter the outcome, you will be able to save your relationship.

If a wife insists on divorce: what should a man do?

If you want to save your marriage, both spouses need to make an effort. A man is capable of anything, including restoring his family. If you don’t know how to convince your wife not to destroy the family, listen to the advice of an experienced psychologist:

Try not just to listen to your spouse, but also to hear what she wants to tell you, even if her words seem unimportant to you.
Show tenderness more often, talk about your love, be affectionate with your wife.
Ask your spouse to write down on a piece of paper what she considers your shortcomings. Read it carefully and try to improve. If you can’t overcome something in yourself, a woman will still appreciate your efforts.
Help her with household chores, especially if your spouse is also busy at work.
Please your loved one with flowers and gifts not only on holidays, but also just like that.
Try to go out together as often as possible. This doesn’t have to be a trip to hot countries, it’s enough to invite your loved one for a walk in the park, go out into nature, or just go to the grocery store together.
Take time to talk with your wife, be interested in her affairs, do not interrupt or sigh, even if she begins to retell what she was chatting about on the phone with her friend today.
Remember how you attracted your chosen one. Perhaps you played the guitar better than anyone else in the group, wrote poetry, were able to make sparkling jokes, and in the last years of your life together you prefer to spend time on the couch? Become the old guy for your wife, when she looked at him her eyes lit up.
Don’t avoid regular marital duties, experiment in bed, offer your partner something new, surprise her, let her feel that she is still the most desirable woman for you.

Relationships changed before and after childbirth

What to do?

Does your husband feel abandoned and unhappy? He ceased to be the center of the earth. And he seeks solace in other places: he stays late at work, meets with friends more often, and possibly with girlfriends. Became irritated. Doesn't help you with your baby.

It's time to sound the alarm!

Make time for your spouse. Give him pleasant surprises (see previous section).
Ask your family and friends for help so they can spend some time with your baby. And spend this time together: go to your favorite movie, to a restaurant, or even take a short romantic tour.
Make yourself look like a god. Skip dressing gowns, even if they are very comfortable. Don't forget to do your hair, makeup and other feminine tricks.
Involve your husband in caring for the baby. Go for walks together. Ask him to sometimes stand with the crying child. Try to awaken his fatherly feelings. Say more often that your child has the same nose (eyes, ears) as your spouse.

Why are you always the extreme one during a difficult period in a relationship?

In this article you will learn:

“Living life is not a field to cross.” We all know this saying. And how truthfully it describes reality. Indeed, anything can happen in family relationships. And there is silence with grace, and times when it’s quite stormy.

But even in moments of family troubles, one should remember that only awareness of one’s responsibility and faith in one’s own strength can bring a positive result.

Shifting the blame to someone else and lacking faith in one’s capabilities are not able to move the situation from a “dead point.” But they will also, with a high degree of probability, worsen it.

So, a quarrel occurred. How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce? There is no need to rummage through the reasons, there can be a great many of them. The essence is the same - lack of resource. A person who is fulfilled and in a state of balance will not “rock the boat.” Just as he won’t end up in a situation where he’s pissed off.

We are 100% responsible for everything that happens around us. And this means that only from the position of this very responsibility can we change everything around us. And space and circumstances will happily adjust themselves. It is important to understand that if you are on the verge of divorce, and you are unable to improve your relationship with your husband, this means that your resource is at zero. Let's look at the mechanism itself.

How to prevent family quarrels and conflicts

Misunderstandings and conflicts do not arise out of the blue. In order for there to be peace and harmony in the family all the time, this atmosphere in the house must be created every day, even if you are dissatisfied with something.

Communicate with each other not only in everyday matters. There must be common interests.
There is no need to demand anything from your husband, much less nag him every day. Over time, you will see how your husband will change, he will give you twice as much.
There is no need to re-educate your husband. He is an independent adult man with his own interests, principles and life position. If we are not talking about alcoholism and violence, then all other minor shortcomings can be accepted and learned to live with them.
You need to feel gratitude. For his actions, for the fact that he is the head of your family, for the fact that he tries for you and the children.
Your husband needs to be inspired. If he has achieved something, even if it is not such a significant achievement, his wife’s support is important to him. Remember that behind the big names of great commanders, scientists and creative personalities there are modest, unknown, but wise and loving women.

How to improve your relationship with your husband is the most important trick!

A woman who, in balance, sees any situation in a completely different light than the one whose “battery” is empty. A screaming mother on the landing sees her baby, who has climbed too high on the stairs, in a terrifying light - he is about to fall. This mother is afraid and lacks peace of mind. She wants to take it away from the child by screaming, but, of course, she won’t achieve anything, because it doesn’t work that way.

A “full” mother either calmly and with a smile looks at her child hanging on top, believing in him. She knows that nothing will happen to him in her field. Or her child simply ignores this ladder in his games, doing something else. Because he does not have a subconscious need to “pull” anger and fear out of his mother. Because they are not in it.

In the situation with her husband, the difference between a full and “de-energized” woman is just as obvious. The one who doesn’t have a resource takes everything personally! Acutely, painfully, wanting to justify himself, to convince, to offend in return. Although the situation may be dictated by completely unrelated reasons. For example, my husband simply had an emotional tangle that is called “one to one” and he brought it home (where else, excuse me?).

The trick is that such “outbursts” of his simply do not hurt her. She passes them through, seeing the true reason; its filling does not allow her ego to turn on and pours out around her. Harmonizing the space and giving softness and calm to the husband when he needs it.

"Pink glasses"

Very often a woman becomes disappointed in her man after marriage. After all, she didn’t imagine him like that at all! Illusions invented by the woman herself arise during the period of falling in love, when it is impossible to adequately evaluate a partner. A woman in love does not see any flaws in a man; she tends to idealize him. After some time, the “rose-colored glasses” fall off, and her completely imperfect husband appears in front of the wife. It is not without reason that there are many jokes that the fairy tale ends immediately after the wedding.

You should not hope that a man will live up to the ideal that a woman has created in her head. It is important to appreciate your real man. It’s not just that the woman chose him and fell in love. This means that there was something to love him for; you just need to remember his merits in the future. There is no need to compare him with other men (acquaintances, husbands of girlfriends, etc.); from the outside it is difficult to judge a person objectively. To truly know what another man is like, you need to live with him. You need to appreciate who is next to you. Maybe not everything is as bad as it seems?

The myth of ideal men

And it is an absolute myth that a harmonious woman must certainly have an easy-going and always good-natured man. On the contrary, the more a woman is manifested, the stronger the temperament, will and charisma of her husband.

How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce? Fill! A woman filled with self-love looks at an angry man from a completely different perspective. When he shakes the house with his roar and even possibly sends direct complaints to her. (Dictated by momentary emotions, not facts!). She is rather proud of him: “Here is my lion! A real man".

Or he experiences mercy, realizing that happy people do not scream. And that means her loved one is unhappy now. Once such emotions overwhelm him.

Male irrepressible strength must find a way out in a safe environment, otherwise it is fraught with diseases. Men, unlike women, do not tolerate anything for long due to their nature, and in our time of high-frequency energies, when it is impossible to remain in destructive emotions for a long time, they can simply use up the entire resource and go to the subtle plane in one day.

How to forget?

A woman who has forgiven infidelity or another serious offense needs to stop reproaching the man for this. The goal is to improve relationships, not worsen them. Constant reproaches and quarrels based on the past can lead to repeated betrayals. You should spend more time together, make joint plans, this will distract you from the problem.

Gradually the memories will become less painful. Letting go of the situation is first and foremost important for the woman herself. This is the only way she can continue to live normally with this man.

How to decide to divorce your wife and is it worth doing?

How to break up with your husband painlessly?

If your husband leaves for someone else: advice from a psychologist

Establish a relationship with your husband on the verge of a family relationship crisis by taking care of... yourself!

Therefore, the main and primary task of any woman... No! Don't do good to your husband! And to make it so that it would be good and good for her!

This work will be more difficult than many at first because you are not used to it. And you have to try a lot so that when irritation grows, instead of accumulating it to the maximum permissible values, you simply ask yourself: “What do you want, honey?”

And hear yourself, your body. Understand that despite the fact that the difficult day is already behind you, and there is an opportunity to find time for yourself, you still, by inertia, finish some things and start others. Instead of just paying attention to what it turns out, your legs have been hurting unbearably for hours now!

Surprisingly, if you leave everything as it is, untidy and unfinished, and resolutely go to the bathroom, where you allow yourself to sit and hold your beloved feet in salty water, mentally reset and neutralize in it all the negativity accumulated during the day, admire the flames candles, and then, after watering your feet with cool streams and drying them, lovingly smear them with fragrant nourishing cream, admiring your heels, then, when you come out, you can feel like a completely different person.

A person in balance, radiating it. Yes, problems cannot be solved overnight. Self-care and making yourself a priority need to become a habit. And just know that if negativity rises from the bottom and the desire to either run or defend, you are at zero.

And instead of looking for reasons to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce, you need to urgently think about how to “charge the battery” with something that is guaranteed to make you happy. Grounding, breathing from the sky in addition to salt baths also provide excellent results in supporting resources and well-being.

How can a woman work on herself?

First, let's talk about what you shouldn't do to improve your relationship with your husband.

Many women already make a choice at the first step that will not allow them to build harmonious relationships.

This is manipulation. That is, the desire to get from your loved one what you need by influencing him in unethical ways.

Usually, insults are used here (“I’m offended, can’t you see, do something”), manipulation of guilt (the desire to blame and disarm your man so that in a depressed state he will do what you need) and so on.

Moreover, for the majority, this behavior occurs automatically: automatic resentment or accusation. It is the unconscious reactions that men initially respond to.

They can even reassure their wife: “Well, everything will be fine, we’ll do everything.” But if this continues for a long time, then the woman will definitely meet resistance, because her behavior will be unraveled.

Once unraveled, she may begin to look for more cunning methods from the authors of popular best-selling books on managing people. But since he does not have the appropriate skills, all these cunning methods are figured out very quickly and do not work.

Because the bet was initially placed on the desire to receive. And you know very well what the desire of a cell in the body to receive only leads to.

What is the best strategy to choose and how to stop arguing with your husband?

There needs to be a balance between taking and giving. Your man will feel much more comfortable when he sees the desire to give.

Often, but not always, such a desire to give arises in response to a desire. And you get everything naturally. No pressure, no pressure, no manipulation.

To do this, you need to develop the need to give and strive to follow it. This time. And also get rid of what brings you back to the manipulative strategy:

this is envy (many often cannot admit within themselves that others are dressed better, have better cars - we need to free ourselves from this),
grievances,
anger (in marriage it is associated with expectations. For example, when we don’t say something, but the other half “should figure it out” because we expect it from her).

It is expectations that most often lead to a woman becoming angry, offended, and irritated. And then she herself asks the question: “How to stop hating your husband.” Work with your own expectations and help him understand you better.