Why you're unlucky in love and how to fix it
Why you're unlucky in love and how to fix it
Failures in love are a fairly common, if not total, phenomenon. Most people, regardless of appearance, age and social status, are unhappy in love and deeply disappointed in relationships. At first everything happens easily, as if by itself. People fall in love, start dating or living together, and start a family. And then suddenly it turns out that “it didn’t work out.” Others don't even get to the stage of a serious relationship, constantly choosing the wrong ones. Still others cannot fall in love at all, seeing some kind of flaw in every potential candidate.
Why is love unlucky?
and is it possible to find patterns in this? Let's try to figure it out together.
Why love is evil - reasons
Everyone has their own problems in love, and they are caused by completely different reasons.
Some people have several of them at once, while others have only one. But they do not lie on the surface, but are hidden deep within us. The basis of everything that happens to us is our personal characteristics, behavior patterns, beliefs and attitudes. Therefore, finding your happiness in love while remaining the same is unrealistic. You can change your situation only after thorough work on yourself. Inflated expectations
It is known that mutual attraction is governed by the instinct of procreation. It is he who launches the program of falling in love in us and forces us to look for a partner to create a family. But why, when we meet the one with whom we would like to go through life together, does he point blank not notice us or simply uses us?
And here we come to the first reason for bad luck in love. These are high expectations. Let's remember the fairy tales that we have known since childhood. They almost always featured a prince charming - a handsome, rich young man who has everything. But he is ready to throw it at the feet of the beautiful princess only for her consent to marry.
This is exactly how many women, especially beautiful ones, imagine their future. They need a wealthy man, preferably an oligarch or a banker. At the very least, just a successful businessman. Of course, he is young and handsome, at the same time gentle, caring and very generous. And he must also look after beautifully, anticipate desires and please his beloved in every possible way. After the wedding, let him take all the worries upon himself and carry him in his arms for the rest of his life. Sound familiar?
Moreover, a woman who dreams of a prince does not think about what she will give him in return. Or she believes that she herself is the main prize, and her mere presence nearby should make her partner happy. She doesn’t care that she and the “prince” are not a couple at all, that she does not correspond to his environment, status, intelligence and other criteria. But she is waiting for him, hoping that, as in a fairy tale, the chosen one will love her as she is.
Everyone knows what happens to such women in reality. They spend years looking for the one, rejecting everyone who does not meet their ideal. As a result, they are left alone or find themselves in the status of the mistress of a married man. And of course, they suffer, believing that they are simply unlucky in love.
Low self-esteem
The second scenario is exactly the opposite. The woman is so weak and emotionally unstable that she is ready to do anything just not to be left alone. She is not too picky and is glad to anyone who shows at least some interest in her. For such a woman, a relationship is the only way to feel complete, so she clings to a man with all her might. And even when she is disrespected and used, she is still terribly afraid to leave. It is not difficult to guess that this woman is not in danger of happiness in love.
Her relationship is like a roller coaster, there are a lot of emotions in it, most of them negative. Such women often choose difficult or weak men. And then they carry them along for many years, receiving in return only reproaches or indifference. Deep down, this woman does not believe that she is worthy of love, care and kind treatment. She unconsciously chooses the path of suffering and receives it in full. In her subconscious there may be the following attitudes:
- I don't deserve love and happiness;
- I'm scared to be alone;
- It's my own fault that my partner treats me this way;
- I will do everything to make him change and love me;
- I don't need anyone but him.
Remaking the chosen one
Another reason for bad luck in love is the total desire to remake your partner. This process does not begin immediately. At first the lovers get along, and everything seems to be fine. But as soon as family life comes into its own, the relationship between lovers moves to a different plane. Partners become demanding, take offense at each other, and strive to change the other. But no one wants to change under pressure. And two once loving people enter into a fight.
A woman wants her husband to earn more or spend more time with his family. A man has his own demands, which often contradict her interests. Nobody wants to give in, which is why mutual claims, reproaches, and insults begin. Each partner perceives the other as personal property, and family relationships as the right to control the other.
It is quite expected that the relationship between such a couple does not work out. And when a breakup occurs, everyone is left with the feeling that they were simply unlucky with their partner, and the next one will definitely be different. But the second and third also turn out to be insufficiently obedient and suitable for alterations. And then a person has a typical question - why is he unlucky in love?
Negative relationship experience
Anyone who has at least once suffered a fiasco in love has great doubts about its reality and the possibility of building a relationship. As they say, “if you burn yourself with milk, you will burn yourself with water.” Women believe that there are no normal men or that they are already taken. Men begin to think that all women are calculating, hysterical and crazy. Both become closed to relationships. They do not allow themselves to experience sincere feelings in fear of being deceived, they are afraid that their love will not be appreciated, that they will betray them again. This closedness prevents people from trying again.
And indeed, as long as there is this fear and mistrust inside, any attempts to start everything again are doomed to failure. The first step to a new relationship is to open your heart and believe in love again. That is, remove from yourself all the grievances, pain and disappointment that remain from past relationships. This can be done in different ways.
As part of the “Smart Way” methods, you can use the audio mood “I am happy in love”,
gradually erasing your previous negative attitudes of mistrust and fear.
Or take part in Alexander Sviyash’s big transformation game “Find Your Love”,
which starts in the spring.
As you can see, happiness in love primarily depends on ourselves. And in order to enjoy a new harmonious relationship, you must first work on the mistakes in the previous ones. And of course, carry out transformations within yourself. It is very important to look at yourself from the outside, see your mistakes, negative programs and correct it all. And only then build relationships again.
Why Some Women Are Constantly Unlucky in Love
Do you know anyone who could be called a “loser in love”? It seems that the world is mocking them, sending men from the category of “one worse than the other.”
And every time the relationship ends in a broken heart, dashed hopes and a sea of tears...
Perhaps you too have experienced periods of “dark streak” in love. Well, if you have no luck, at least cry...
Everything seemed to start well - acquaintance, first meetings. It seemed like this was the Man of Dreams, but after a couple of weeks or months the fairy tale turned into a nightmare. The man either disappeared. Or it became so unbearable to be around him that you were already looking for a way to escape.
What kind of streak of bad luck is this and how do women attract it to themselves? - Let's figure it out!
Let's talk about men first
Usually, when “a fairy tale turns into a nightmare,” all women describe their men almost identically. Those next to whom they first dreamed of a happy marriage, and then suffered from their deceptions and selfishness.
When a relationship becomes serious, it turns out that the only thing a man cares about is himself. He is absolutely not interested in the woman herself, nor her expectations, plans, desires. Moreover, he will gladly accept whatever she wants to give him, but you rarely expect anything specific from him. He is generous only with promises.
But how could this happen? After all, it all started very beautifully. There were so many compliments. It was so easy and pleasant to talk to him about everything. He almost guessed your desires. The dates passed without tension, he always knew how to defuse the situation.
Why did everything work out so well at the beginning of the relationship?
The answer is simple - he had a lot of practice and “training”.
We always do well what we have done many times before. They did it with different people, at different times, in different settings.
How can it not work out if everything has been worked out almost to the point of automaticity?
That’s why these men are so good at the beginning of relationships, because they had a lot of “beginnings.” They know in advance all women's desires and anxieties. They know how to maintain a conversation, where to lead it, so that a woman trusts him and opens up.
But what they don’t have practice in is relationships themselves. True, usually such men are not particularly interested in these very relationships.
Now back to us women
How do women deserve the attention of such men?
None of us wake up in the morning thinking, “Wouldn’t it be nice to meet a man who would break my heart.” So why do women attract exactly these kinds of partners one after another?
It’s all about one of our purely feminine convictions...
When you ask a woman, “How do you know you've met the right man? How will you know it’s suitable?” - this is where everything is often revealed.
Someone first, of course, reads their long list of “What the Man of My Dreams Should Be . Sometimes he even starts talking about the qualities that are important in a man...
But in the end, almost everyone ends up the same way:
“I will feel it! Everything will work out almost perfectly for us from the very beginning. He will understand me almost instantly. He will guess my wishes. It will be so easy to communicate with him. And even if something goes wrong, he will always be able to defuse the situation."
Hm…. somewhere in this article it was already like this...
Alas... “I will feel... he will guess... it will be easy with him from the first minute... communication will develop by itself...” all this can only happen with someone who has “trained” a lot. Who has had dozens or even hundreds of such “beginnings of relationships”... But who is not inclined to go beyond the beginning and the first intimacy.
And men who don't change women every week. Who don’t have a dozen spare girlfriends, if suddenly they can’t “agree” with you. Who is not spoiled by female attention, but at the same time can and is determined to remain faithful to one. Men who can build relationships and are able to negotiate... all of them, just like you, are nervous on dates... and are not always ready to “defuse the situation”...
It is absolutely normal to worry, be confused, worry when we do something rarely and when it is important to us. When the result is important to us, the person with whom we went on a date is important to us, what happens is important to us.
But such men (who are important) are usually avoided by women. Because “he sits like a statue on a date”, “it’s so difficult to talk to him about anything, he answers in monosyllables”, “he was being smart all evening”... you can continue the list yourself.
Should dating be boring?
Do reliable men necessarily mean a complete lack of romance, exploits and terribly boring dates? - No.
It all depends on you...
After all, on dates with those who have “trained a lot” and know how to defuse the situation, you also do NOT sit with a bored face. You relax, start joking, flirting, “shooting your eyes” and you yourself are surprised at how well you do it.
Hidden talents are revealed in you.
Suddenly you turn into a real seductress!
So do men who are committed to serious relationships. But who didn’t have a string of dates to practice with.
If you can show that it is easy and safe to be around you. If you can create the right environment, you will see them in all their glory. Sometimes the scale of the exploits of these men is simply amazing. Simply because they are used to proving their sympathy and love with deeds, not words.
So that women can create an environment themselves in which a man can open up. Where they will have a chance to see the real him. So that you don’t worry that your chosen one might not like you, but are able to show yourself advantageously - MAKE A MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF
For this purpose, in mid-January I plan to conduct a workshop “How to FALL ANY MAN IN LOVE WITH YOU”
The workshop program has almost been drawn up, but there is still room for your wishes. If there are points that are very important for you to learn about men, about how to make anyone fall in love with you, how to maintain love or rekindle it if it has begun to fade, how to never doubt your attractiveness again, so that your friends and men don’t tell you before this.
Please leave any questions on these topics in the comments below. I will add the most popular and interesting ones to the workshop program “How to MAKE ANY MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU”
Share your discoveries after the article in the comments too!
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How to find a partner if you have no luck in relationships?
How do I understand “unlucky in relationships” means “I’m an alpha male, I change girls like gloves, and then I’m surprised that they change me just as easily”? Or is it “I’m a fucking nerd who suffers deeply from a lack of female affection”? Since I'm here, I'll try to help both categories.
So, if you are all uncomplicated and easily find a common language with girls, but for some reason in the end you are always left with nothing, then perhaps you should reconsider your interests. The first thing you need to do is understand what you want from a relationship. If you want a smart, modest girl with an easy-going character, then you obviously need to look for her not in a nightclub, but if on the contrary, then you should go to the library less often. But these are the nuances in the search, you are strong in them, but now you need to understand that there is no “ideal” relationship, so you found a cool girl 9 out of 10, good for everyone, but against the fact that you get drunk on a Friday night, then you need to either stop getting drunk and change, or be a man and change the girl. And so continue indefinitely, because relationships are hard work, either you are a domestic tyrant, or henpecked, or a manipulator, or the manipulated. Relationships, no matter how you like them, are a hierarchical structure and there is always one head and it decides whether this relationship is good or not. That's it.
But we understand that most likely you are the second type of person. For you, relationships with women are something sublime, you get nervous when you try to talk to a beautiful girl, etc. Well, not everything is so simple for you, “everyday advice” will not help here, you will really need to work on yourself. Firstly, there is no need to single out a woman as a being of a different plane, believe me, if you communicate with other girls on equal terms, you will be respected more, and respect is the beginning of the journey. Secondly, don’t rush horses, relationships take years to build and are destroyed in an instant, so if you decide to start caring for someone, then it’s better to start with something insignificant, for example, holding the door or wishing you a happy birthday, if you are the owner of such soft character, then you must also understand that the choice here is made by the girl, not you, and your task is to seem like the most suitable person for this role. You should not fall in love with beautiful girls, most often they know that they are beautiful, and use this to the fullest for their own purposes, so there is a high risk of remaining in the friend zone or worse, if you do not feel reciprocal steps to your advances, then you can look for someone else object of adoration. Well, if you just can’t decide to take such a step as courtship, then you can make a career, because girls love successful ones.
But bad luck, you didn’t fall into one of the categories? Have you had relationships, but most often broke up after a couple of years? Analyze the reason for the breakup, draw conclusions, maybe you can correct this reason, act. Well, don’t get hung up on relationships, this is not the first thing you need to achieve in life, you need to understand that in addition to this, you have other tasks and ambitions, which I would recommend that you focus on. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult alone, but there are also friends, acquaintances, colleagues who can compensate for the lack of communication, do not forget about relatives who also need it, and if for you the relationship means regular sex, then there are easier ways to get it, besides relationships.
Every girl who is unlucky in love should read this.
However, being around such a woman is not only incredibly interesting, but also tiring. Yes, you are bright, enchanting and even a little crazy. You are a dream and a nightmare rolled into one, passion in the flesh, hell and heaven on earth. You cannot be tamed and you cannot be tied, but most importantly, you are difficult to love.
Of course, like any other woman, you dream of simple female happiness: to love and be loved. However, what to do if all your novels end so quickly? First, remember two simple truths:
- You also need to work on relationships.
- Love is worth fighting for.
When you meet your soulmate, don’t ask yourself: “Why do I get such a reward?” You have the right to be happy!
