How to start a conversation with a guy on VK. What can you talk about with a guy on VK - a list of topics for communication. Groups and communities

In this article, psychologist Evgenia Dvoretskaya answers the question “How to start a conversation with a guy you like on VKontakte?”

There is a stereotype that a girl should not be the first to show attention. The same applies to social networks, which often prevents people from finding happiness. How to show a sign of sympathy to a guy if you can’t make the first step? Or if you have already established communication, but something went wrong, then how to start a conversation with a guy on VK after a quarrel?

Correspondence on the Internet has simplified and made communication more accessible. After all, many feel embarrassed and lost when communicating when meeting. Conversations via a computer are liberating and provide an excellent opportunity to talk about yourself and learn more about your interlocutor, and then when you meet, there will be no awkward silence, but there will be something to discuss. Because of pride or prejudice, you can miss out on a potential life partner, so you shouldn’t be afraid to write.

Universal topics for online communication that you can talk about with any guy

What to do if you are not friends with a guy and access to personal information is limited? There are a number of topics suitable for conversation with anyone:

The latest music and cinema.
The topic can be developed endlessly. From favorite genres, directors and trends in music, to movie bloopers, biographies and interesting facts on the topic.
Sport.
You can talk about the achievements of your favorite athletes. You shouldn’t limit yourself to just football. Even badminton or sledding can become a point of common interest. In addition, ask if he is involved in any sport, and if so, what kind.
Travel and recreation.
The discussion can be reduced not only to places where one of you has already been, but also to fantasize about where you would go if you had unlimited possibilities.
Books.
Plots, characters, emotions from reading - a treasure trove for conversation. But the topic is good only if you are sure that the guy likes to read.
Mutual acquaintances, friends.
One of the easiest ways to start a conversation. But it’s better to use it only as a start and not stay on it for long.

What questions to ask to diversify communication

It’s better to avoid trivial questions about what’s new, how life is, what you’re doing, or how you’re feeling, or try to minimize it.
Here are some examples of questions that can be used in correspondence. About tastes in food, music and more:

Do you like Italian cinema?
Have you ever tried sushi?
I drink tea with lemon. Which one do you like?
Have you seen the latest film with Milla Jovovich?
I love jazz. What do you like to listen to?

About hobbies and interests:

I have long dreamed of learning to ride a bicycle. Can you? It's complicated?
How long have you been running?
What do you like about basketball?

About favorite holidays, places and bright events in life:

What is the most unusual gift you were given for your birthday?
Have you ever been to Barcelona?
What New Year do you remember most?

What you don’t know about, but the guy definitely understands:

I have no idea which laptop to choose?
I was completely confused by the instructions. How to connect this printer?

Remember, the question doesn't have to be very long or complicated. Try to ask questions that require detailed rather than monosyllabic answers. If you see that a guy doesn’t want to answer a question, don’t insist.

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What is the main mistake and task

Surprisingly, 85% of women simply talk about the events of the day in correspondence. It is a mistake to think that listing his affairs is interesting to him. The main purpose of your messaging is to evoke emotions in a man’s soul towards you. Therefore, every message should intrigue him, delight him, surprise him and make him think about you.

Only by constantly experiencing different feelings do men become attached and look for a meeting. Because they are interested in women who excite the imagination. Do you want a guy to show interest, dream about you, ask you out, give you gifts? Intrigue him, stir his soul, make him dream about you, using these lifehacks in correspondence!

Which topics are best to avoid?

Do you want the conversation to be enjoyable and not boring? There are a number of topics that it is better not to get involved with during the first communication.

Topics of a personal nature:

family;
former relationships;
sexual experience;
health;
problems and troubles.

You are not a relative or close friend to immediately be told about your secrets or listen to you.

Topics of a social nature:

policy;
religion;
nationality;
material income.

You don’t yet know the worldview and views of your interlocutor. By touching on such topics, you can find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Serious and heavy topics:

death;
violence;
disasters;
war and its consequences.

It is much more pleasant to correspond about something fun, life-affirming and optimistic than about something that can cause depression.

Also, do not touch on the topics of shopping, fashion, clothing and accessories, and makeup. Guys appreciate beauty, but most of them are not at all interested in how hard it was achieved.

Even after a conversation has begun, there may be a moment of pause. In such cases, you should keep in service:

humor;
unexpected offer.

Stock up on a couple of anecdotes or jokes. Humor always relieves tension and defuses the situation. Or invite your boyfriend to play an online game or watch the same movie together. Even if you receive a negative answer, you can move the conversation to another topic.

Useful video on the topic:

Common mistakes when corresponding with a man

In the end, I would like to give a number of the most common mistakes that are made in conversations. If you want the conversation with a guy to last as long as possible and captivate him, then here’s what you definitely shouldn’t do:

Criticize.
And not only the interlocutor himself or his opinion, but also his hobbies, interests, even his favorite performer. Even constructive criticism is harmful and dangerous. The only thing it will lead to is a negative attitude towards your person.
Condemn.
Definitely avoid direct condemnation of people and their actions in communication, especially in a rude manner. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, acquaintance or stranger. It’s better to simply explain what you would do in someone else’s place in a given situation.
Argue and impose your own opinion.
The argument will lead the conversation to a dead end. Either each of you will remain with your own opinion, or the one who turns out to be wrong will have an unpleasant aftertaste. The result is a lack of desire to continue the dialogue.
Lie.
There is no need to lie, invent, exaggerate and in any other way try to appear better in the eyes of the person with whom you are corresponding. Sooner or later you will forget something, mix it up and this will most likely be the end of the conversation.
Agree with everything.
If you don't agree, write so. Don't be afraid to offend someone. Absolute agreement may raise suspicions that you are either not interested or have no opinion about anything. And such an interlocutor is boring.
Talk exclusively about yourself or turn the conversation to yourself.
No matter how wonderful you are, no one will participate in a monologue. At the beginning, you should interest the guy, and then he will provide the opportunity to talk about himself.
Arrange an interrogation.
Curiosity is a useful thing, but in moderation. Excessive curiosity will only push you away.
Frankly flatter.
All people love to be praised, but constant compliments and praises indicate insincerity. Admire only when it really is so.

The list is not final and more errors may be added. But these are the most common mistakes not only when corresponding on VK, but also in everyday live communication.

Do you want to know how to quickly win and make a guy fall in love with you by correspondence? Then be sure to read. In it you will find several tricks that work flawlessly.

What to do when you completely run out of topics to talk about? for this case.

Do you want to know what you should never say to a man? All details in .

Some useful tricks for .

Be sure to come in handy for everyone: .

And if you want to become an interesting and desirable interlocutor for any person, you should start with a very interesting and useful book for such purposes, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” - Carnegie Dale.

Remember such important aspects when corresponding with a guy on VKontakte as:

literacy;
absence of profanity and 'dirt';
a heap of a large number of all kinds of emoticons.

Do you want to chat with a guy on VKontakte, but don’t know what to write in the first message? Do you doubt whether you should write first? We will dispel your doubts and give you some ideas for an original and unobtrusive first message.

Discussions on this topic have been going on for several years now. Some say that a man must show his conquering spirit, and there is no need to interfere with this. Others - there is nothing wrong with starting a conversation on a social network yourself, especially if the guy doesn’t know about your existence.

The correct answer to this question lies somewhere in the middle and depends on each specific situation: if a person is interesting and you really want to start communicating with him, it is better to write. After all, it is better to do something and then regret it than not to do it and regret the missed opportunity.

Tips for the end

When applying these rules, get ready to be bombarded with a barrage of messages from the guy. Irresistible interest and thirst for rapid development of relationships make men impatient.

It's easy to mess things up in communication. It is dangerous to be intrusive, too emotional, aggressive, rude. The desire to seduce, especially at the beginning of acquaintance, can alienate the interlocutor. There is a good sense of proportion and tact in everything. By following Rule 2, you will have time to think through your answers to whet his interest and achieve your own goals.

You can find out if a guy loves you by taking our test. Good luck with your correspondence and relationship building!

Source: zen.yandex.ru

Let's start a conversation

When the decision to write has been made, the question arises of where to start communicating. A close study of the potential lover’s VKontakte profile will come to the rescue. Pay attention to the following indicators.

Mutual friends

Carefully study the list of friends of the object of your attention. It may turn out that you have mutual friends or you know each other indirectly through each other’s friends. This can be a good reason to start a conversation. Just don’t gossip about mutual friends under any circumstances!

Place of work or study

It may well be that you found this person’s profile in a community dedicated to your place of work or study. Having common memories and topics is already a great reason to start a conversation.

Similar interests, hobbies

A large number of VKontakte users indicate interests in their profiles. Or you can guess about them simply by looking at the entire content of the young man’s page: videos, music, posts. It is likely that your interests will coincide with yours. This can be a great start for communication.

General groups

It would be useful to study the list of communities in which the prospective chosen one is a member. It is possible that you and he are members of the same or similar groups.

We write the first message

Once a page has been studied and a message writing strategy has been chosen, tactical action is required. It’s hard to resist the usual “Hello.” How are you?”, but doing so is still not recommended. You need to start creatively, brightly and unusually. This way there is a much higher chance that they will write you a reply message. Here are some examples to start dating on VKontakte.

Universal approach:

"Hello! Are you dating on VKontakte? »
"Good afternoon! Do you mind getting to know each other? »
"Hello! How do you feel about online dating? »

Such phrases immediately show your intentions and stimulate feedback.

Unobtrusive flirting:

"Hello! I'm going to discover new musical directions. Can you recommend some great music for a Friday night? »
"Good evening! I'm going to watch a movie. Can you tell me something worth watching? »
"Hello! It was a free day, I’m going to go to an exhibition (the theater, cinema, concert). Tell me what to pay attention to? »

As a rule, such proposals are written to people they know. In the case of strangers, the effect of surprise is triggered. At a minimum, such a message will be read. If you haven’t been lazy, but have carefully studied the man’s interests and in your message indirectly pointed out topics that are fascinating to him, there is a high probability of feedback.

Maximum honesty:

"Hello! I found your page on VKontakte. You seemed to me a very interesting person. Let's try to communicate? »
"Good afternoon! It seems that you are a very interesting conversationalist, and now I really miss communication. Let's try to make acquaintance? In the end, neither I nor you lose anything from this."

By starting communication this way, you will immediately indicate the purpose of your interest. And in return you will receive a message only to the point, eliminating all sorts of understatements and guesses.

Conversation on interests:

Such messages will immediately attract attention, since they stimulate the guy to talk on a topic that is close and understandable to him, and even with a person who shares his interests.

He replied. What to write next

So, the goal has been achieved: the young man read the message and responded to it. Based on his reaction, it will be clear what to write next and whether it needs to be done.

If the guy said that he is not dating or he has a girlfriend - alas. You just need to apologize and not write to him anymore. Even if you are sure that you will be his better half. Believe me, you will definitely find your happiness.

If a man answered your questions, moreover, asked you something, you can be sure: you interested him. Support this interest. Here's how to do it.

You can find out exactly what questions guys on VK like to answer from this video:

And don’t forget to talk about yourself: men don’t like it when they’re the only ones talking. Although excessive talkativeness and egocentrism are also not effective ways to attract the attention of a pen pal on VKontakte.

Men are conquerors by nature. If he likes you, he will let you know. And it will be noticeable. If not, well, the person is simply not “yours.” Don't be discouraged. Yours will definitely be found.

In fact, everything is trivial. It is not necessary to immediately invent and invent something super unusual, choosing original topics for conversation with a handsome stranger. He will be able to appreciate the rich inner world of the girl later if he takes the “hook”. But first you need bait!

It's important to start with a simple, straightforward conversation topic tailored for these types of occasions. If the girl is attractive to your interlocutor, he will be happy to continue the acquaintance. He definitely won't miss his chance!

But before you start a conversation with a stranger, you should make sure you have the necessary attitude. Even time-tested and experience-tested topics will not help if a girl doubts herself and feels fear. You can use some tips that will help you not get confused at a crucial moment.

Thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy in contact or in person, every girl doubts for a long time - is it worth starting something? The fear of an unexpected blow to pride stops almost half of the ladies who secretly sigh for a beautiful stranger living next door or in their favorite chat room.

But a simple conversation does not reveal any “insidious plans”; no one will know about her sympathy for the young man! Even if he refuses to make an acquaintance, turning away snobbishly or complaining about the lack of free time, there is no point in being afraid.

A light and casual conversation on a neutral topic is not at all a reason to look sad or indecisive. You should not give the impression of a gloomy or overly serious person, otherwise the whole idea will fail.

A charming smile will definitely attract the attention of an interesting guy, and most importantly, will give him pleasant memories of an unexpected acquaintance.

Before you start a conversation with a guy on the phone, you should find out if he is comfortable talking. Perhaps the person at the moment does not have even a minute to talk. It also happens that a second before the call, someone ruined his mood or made him angry.
Or maybe the poor guy just didn't get enough sleep. Finding out the mood of the interlocutor when corresponding on the Internet is somewhat more difficult. Perhaps a lack of time will be indicated by spelling errors or a long wait for a response.
In addition, it is important not to forget about your own mood. How to start a conversation with a guy after a quarrel with relatives or after a sleepless night studying for exams? There is only one answer - no way!

Unfortunately, there are a few lucky people in the world who are able to abstract themselves from unpleasant thoughts and unwind psychologically before an important conversation or meeting. It’s better not to tempt fate by enrolling yourself in their ranks and risking forever losing the chance of meeting the object of your desire.

You should not take this advice too literally, because no one has ever canceled flirtatious flirting and shooting eyes to kill. We are talking about the first impression, which should not deteriorate during subsequent meetings. Don't lie and try to be someone you really aren't.

This rule especially applies to online dating by correspondence, where many people like to embellish themselves. This makes no sense, since upon personal contact the truth will be revealed, and both will be disappointed.

Get ready

If we are talking about a casual acquaintance or an unforeseen situation, you will not be able to find out anything about the guy. You'll have to act spontaneously. But if you have already seen the object of your interest before, maybe even know each other, but things don’t go beyond “hello”, find out more about it:

If he has a sweet tooth: bake him some cakes;
loves films of a certain category - watch them and then you can talk about it;
loves cars - learn car brands and spare parts.

You need to know what a guy is interested in. Then you won’t find yourself in an awkward situation (for example, congratulate him on a Christian holiday, but he turns out to be a Buddhist, or offer to try a delicious cake, but he is a convinced raw foodist). You will also be able to know exactly what to talk to him about and how to interest him.

By learning more about the guy, you will create for yourself the image of an interesting, diverse girl who knows a lot about many things. This will be interesting for the guy. You will not be left without attention.

Topics for conversation

So, the preparatory stages are over, and you should think about a suitable topic for making acquaintances. As has already been noted, the first contact is not at all suitable for intimate conversations and cordial conversations. Many people try to find an original way to a man’s heart and choose a non-standard topic for communication.

This does not always turn out to be a good idea, because the guy may turn out to be ignorant on some issue, and then the conversation will not start. The best option is a neutral topic, presumably familiar to both. Each dating option has its own, most successful topics.

How to start a conversation with a guy on the Internet

Today, a huge number of people of any age spend time on the Internet. For most of them, VKontakte correspondence is a great chance to find a soul mate. To many, this method will seem dubious, because without face-to-face communication it is difficult to verify the presence of sincere sympathy. And the risk of running into scammers and perverts is too great.

But if we put aside all skepticism and doubts, we will have to admit the obvious fact - the Internet has managed to connect millions of hearts. Therefore, it’s still worth trying your luck.

Where to start the conversation? Since the interlocutor is a man, you don’t have to think about clothes, fashion magazines, household chores and culinary recipes. Most guys will consider these topics to be mere chatter, and the girl will quickly be labeled as boring and uninteresting. You should not start a conversation about football, construction, talk about politics or cars. If a lady does not understand these issues, then she will not be able to maintain a conversation.

What topics are relevant for correspondence in contact?

When corresponding with a guy, it is important not to forget about spelling and punctuation. Without receiving an answer to the last question, you should not start typing a new one. Dialogue must remain dialogue, otherwise the acquaintance can be considered unsuccessful.

How to start a conversation with a guy on the phone

A telephone conversation is different from any type of communication and has both many pros and cons. The disadvantages include the lack of extra time to respond, as when talking on the Internet. In addition, when communicating on the phone, a girl loses an excellent opportunity to amaze her interlocutor with a charming smile and charm.

On the other hand, talking on the phone is not as scary as talking in person. At the same time, there is a chance to assess the partner’s interest by the intonation and timbre of his voice.

The topic of conversation is any, light and unpretentious, allowing you to quickly make friends. What are the options?

What do you do when you're not in contact?
Are you familiar with the city? Tell me a good cafe, please.
How are you planning to spend the holidays?
Tell us something interesting about yourself!

The success of a telephone conversation can be predicted by using standard psychological techniques. It is enough to adapt to the pace of your interlocutor’s speech and let him be interesting.

Give the guy a chance to open up, while listening to him carefully, giving him appropriate compliments from time to time. Believe me, he will remember such a conversation for a long time!

Gone are the days when it was considered indecent for a woman to meet men first. In modern society, the initiative for communication comes from both sides. Often the reasons for this are rooted in male passivity. Some male representatives are ready to give all the reins of power to female hands. Others, recognizing a woman’s right to initiate an acquaintance, then take everything upon themselves. Many girls who have to initiate an acquaintance do not know how to start a conversation with a guy. Sometimes the wrong words can ruin your chances of further communication.

After sex

Close intimate relationships are always expected with great trepidation. But after having sex for the first time, sometimes there is a time of awkwardness. To avoid this, you need to set yourself up in advance for the right conversation and behavior. The following can be recommended:

compliments, praise that will increase self-esteem and improve relationships;
pleasant revelations confirming mutual love;
general jokes, funny stories;
postpone any criticism for later.

For a woman, it is better to meet the morning at home. Even if the date lasts for a long time, ask them to send you home (call a taxi). This will save you from unpleasant little things, for example, the absence of a toothbrush, worn-out cosmetics, or a wrinkled blouse.

If you nevertheless met the morning in the same bed, then be cheerful and cheerful. Do not sort things out and do not ask questions like:

A man asks these questions. Modesty is appropriate for you.

Further events can develop differently. Ideally, a man should manifest himself on the first day, a maximum of a week later. If this does not happen, then something went wrong. This should lead you to believe that your boyfriend has another woman with whom he was dating at the same time as you.

Tired of waiting, the woman decides to call first to clarify the situation. However, this is not a very good move. A man will perceive it as an encroachment on freedom. This option is possible only when the partners have a fairly long close relationship.

One night spent with a man does not give you the right to invade a man's personal space. First sex and first date are almost on the same level. Therefore, you should not behave like a wife. You must be as correct as possible after sex so that your partner does not run away.

If you, like a real woman, behave smartly and a man invites you on a second date, then your relationship has a future.

Guys usually approach first to meet and start a relationship. But if a handsome young man is in no hurry to take a decisive step, you can take the initiative yourself. To do this, you need to know how to start a conversation with the guy you like and get him interested. Cast aside your doubts! This is easier to do than it might seem.

Dating in real life

Young people spend more and more time on the Internet, so dating there is becoming increasingly popular. But the likelihood of meeting the person of your dreams in real life remains high. Often men and women are equally eager to start dating, but young people sometimes simply do not know how to take the first step and experience shyness. In this case, the girl has no choice but to be the first to start a conversation with the guy she likes.

You can start a conversation in different ways, most of them have proven their effectiveness experimentally:

Do not neglect the circumstances around you - if two people find themselves in the same room, next to each other, then a conversation can begin naturally, but girls need to use all their resourcefulness to direct it in the right direction. Even a banal conversation about the weather can be a good start, but this is just an invitation to further conversation, to which a man who is interested in the interlocutor will definitely respond.
Ask for help. Often the reason for contacting is a request to convey difficult things. Most men cope with such a request brilliantly, girls should say words of gratitude, it is advisable to express their admiration for the strength and dexterity of the young man, but there is no need to flatter, men love praise.
Simply and unpretentiously introduce yourself to the guy you like. If there is a possibility that the acquaintance will be continued, this method is perfect for girls who are able to communicate without shyness with the boy they like. The chances that the acquaintance will continue are high if the girl is not too persistent.

Stop questions

If you have no desire to fall flat on your face and humiliate your own dignity, you should avoid these topics when talking with a guy:

Was intimacy better with your ex or with me now?
What was the reason for the breakup with your previous girlfriend?
Which woman am I?
How much money do you make at work?
When can you schedule our next meeting?
Is your love for me real?
What is the reason for your love for me?
How many children do you dream of?
Will you ever marry me?
What are your thoughts now?
What is the reason for not answering the phone call?
Haven't you noticed anything new?
Is sport more interesting than me?
Who are the messages coming from?
Have you been unfaithful to me in a relationship?
Do you think I've gained extra weight?

Based on this article, we can conclude that relying only on catchy questions and receiving feedback in response is ineffective. Communication may remain at the level of correspondence if measures are not taken on both sides: make a date, invite you for a walk, go to the park.

Dating on the Internet

Virtual space is a place where young people spend a lot of time. Communication with the opposite sex is also an important part of spending time online. Many girls try to meet a guy on the Internet, but they don’t always succeed.

The screen is a kind of barrier separating one interlocutor from another. It is both a protection against the continuation of an unwanted acquaintance and a barrier to communication, which has outgrown virtual conversations and requires real meetings. Girls who are going to meet guys on VKontakte need to understand why they need this acquaintance: to have a pen pal or to meet a man for a serious relationship.

List of questions for a guy about relationships with girls

This is a very important list, since from it a person opens up in a new way and shows his attitude towards the opposite sex. Girls who are interested in a serious relationship with a certain guy should pay close attention to his answers.

But before asking a young man about his attitude towards ladies, you must follow the following recommendations:

first win the guy over;
find a common thread of conversation;
smoothly lead the guy to the right question;
ask not with a stream of questions, but while being distracted by a discussion of a topic.

Dating on VKontakte

Girls often make acquaintances on VKontakte with young people they like, forgetting that online it is easy to show yourself as not the person you really are.

Even a photograph is sometimes processed in Photoshop before it is posted on a social network.

It’s easier to start communicating on VKontakte if young people have common ground. A girl pays attention to a young man’s page; it’s easier for her to start communicating first if:

they have mutual friends;
they are in the same group;
they have the same place of study or work;
tastes coincide.

If there is none of this, then don’t be upset. The girl can write first, but first she needs to make sure that her page on the Internet does not arouse suspicion in the guy.

you can ask the guy if he makes acquaintances online;
to inquire about any information available on the young man’s page, the girl needs to be ready to carry on a conversation with the man;
express admiration for a photo, comment on a post on the wall.

Do not be shy

A woman should be modest and well-mannered to be the first to start a conversation. There is no need to blush, stammer and hide your eyes when speaking.

You need to be as open, natural and relaxed as possible in the good sense of the word. Your main trump card is, albeit imaginary, ease.

The guy shouldn't see that you're embarrassed, scared, or that you don't know where to start. You should immediately seem cheerful, perky, and somewhat eccentric to him.

Don't be afraid that the guy will think you're frivolous. You will show him all your subtle nature, deep soul and bright mind later. Your task at the stage of the first conversation is to lure, attract, and arouse interest. And he is unlikely to like the modest gray mouse.

Communication process

When communicating, it is important to adhere to the following rules:

feel the interlocutor - if he wants to end the conversation, then you should not be persistent;
speak in moderation, otherwise it will tire the interlocutor;
do not give free rein to your imagination;
give the young man a chance to speak.

It is best to end the conversation when there is nothing left to say, then the young man will still have questions for the girl, which he will ask first.

Often a girl starts a dialogue with her ex-boyfriend. Similar rules apply here. And she also needs to remember that she cannot be aggressive or rude.

If she is to blame for the breakup, then she should ask the guy for forgiveness. During communication, the initiative must be kept in your hands.

Yes, the problem turns out to be not a simple one. You sit, look at his or her photo on social networks, like it... But how to start a correspondence? What can I say so as not to push her away, so as to interest her, so that in the end she will like her? We will not blur the topic, sharing how to start a correspondence with a guy, as with a girl, as with a man, as with a woman. Let's just try to look at the main options for starting a conversation with a stranger.

How long should you text?

Before you talk to your guy, set a time frame. They are needed in order not to take up personal time from the interlocutor and to maintain the desire to talk next time. For each stage of communication there is a limit, without crossing which you guarantee the continuation of communication.

At first meeting

When meeting a guy for the first time, it is important to talk with him for so long that you leave the desire to continue the conversation later, but not break it off at the most interesting point. There are no clear time limits, but do not forget that you should not lay out all your cards at once; save a few interesting ones for the next correspondence.

With regular correspondence

For those whose communication occurs on a regular basis, there are no strict limits. You can communicate for only an hour a day, or you can spend a whole day on social networks - if you are interested in a conversation, you should not intentionally interrupt the conversation. However, remember that long-term communication should end somewhere if you have never met your interlocutor and all your interaction comes down to communication on social media. networks, you should discuss this issue and transfer your pastime to real life.

To keep the suspense

To maintain constant interaction on social media. networks should maintain intrigue. This is necessary so that communication does not end immediately when the topics for conversation end. Don’t forget to bring something new to conversations; don’t limit yourself to the same type of questions and complain that all the topics for conversation have dried up. Promise your interlocutor to tell you about an incredible story that happened to you today, or hint that you watched an amazing movie, but you can only share all this tomorrow.

Don’t look at your watch when communicating: if you find a really interesting topic, don’t be shy to talk about it. However, do not forget that the guy may have other things to do besides you, do not put pressure on him and be offended that he cannot devote more time to you.

Correspondence: motives

In general, start with why you are writing to this person, that is, find out your motives. You will need to focus on them in the future; what and how you write depends on them. To make it easier for you to get started, we will offer the most common motives that prompt people to write to strangers:

You liked the person in the photo and you want to get to know each other more closely (by the way, find out here too whether you want to make a friend or maybe even are thinking about starting a relationship);
You just got bored and want to brighten up your pastime;
You want to show off, so to speak, to brag about yourself for self-affirmation;
Your motive is to make useful acquaintances, contacts in a certain area or environment.

Where to begin

So, based on the motives we have proposed, let’s try to look sequentially at how to start a correspondence with a girl or guy on a social network.

Motive - sympathy

Perhaps the most common motive. It is logical that your goal is to be liked too.

Since you can start a correspondence in a contact, for example, not only with a personal message, then you can use this. Comment on some photo of a person with an original comment. Although, to be honest, if a person is interested in you, then a simple comment on a photo, for example, of his dacha, like: “how beautiful!” If you are not that interesting, then even the most original comment will most likely be ignored. But there are always exceptions! In the end, a person may simply not notice your writing. So, after waiting your time, move on.
Banality. Write simply: “Hi, no, we don’t know each other, I just wanted to say hello to you.” Focus on the individual—“with you.” And then how it goes.
You can start the correspondence with a compliment. For the most part, this is the lot of young people, but a girl can afford it too. The main thing here is sincerity (be honest at least to yourself), write compliments if you really want to do it.
You can pretend that you made a mistake. The complete namesake of your classmate(s), well, they confused him with whom it doesn’t happen. Perhaps a conversation will start.
Write that you know the face, whether you could have met somewhere. You really remember the sweet face.
On the Internet you can find funny phrases like: “Are there angels on earth?”, hinting that she is an angel (this is more about how to start a conversation with a girl). Although there are probably similar “phrases” for guys too.

A rule to follow: don’t try to sharply shorten the distance, it’s scary and repulsive (for both guys and girls). Start getting acquainted gradually, with abstract topics.

The main thing here is to rely on your main goal. The person must like you. This means structure the entire conversation in such a way that he (she) is pleasant to you. After all, there is such a phenomenon in psychology: we like those who like us. So show your sympathy.

Motive - boredom

Well, here you can start with anything. Your goal is to brighten up loneliness and get rid of boredom.

You can start right away: “hi, I’m writing because I’m sad (we’re pushing for pity). I thought this could be fixed by talking to a nice person.”
You can come up with a topic, absolutely any one, and offer to discuss it. It's good if you write questions, because... It will be easier for the person to answer. And then, if the conversation starts, then he will start asking. The main thing is not to forget that you are writing, and don’t jump into talking only about yourself, be sure to also ask about the person.

Motive - self-affirmation

Actually, you probably already caught the essence of our presentation. The goal is to increase your own self-esteem.

Put your favorite photo on your avatar and show off.

Motive - benefit, benefit

You have found a person in a field whose connections are useful to you. Your goal is to show interest.

Start the conversation on the topic or area in which you are interested. There will be two parallel lines of conversation here: You need to make the person interested in you (i.e., please him, as discussed above) and show your interest in the “business.” There is no need to start from afar, you need to immediately show that you are interested in “the opportunity to join the club”, “to do this and that.” Make the person an expert, ask questions, show him that he is smart (admire).

Girls' mistakes and taboo topics

It's no secret that there are topics that are better not to be touched upon in communication, especially if not much is known about the interlocutor. This also applies to behavior in communication: not all of its models will be able to have a beneficial effect on your future relationship.

Knowing these common mistakes can help you avoid them:

. ” It perfectly reflects the meaning of communication, in which one person does not want to carry on a conversation, and with all his appearance makes it clear that he is not interested in corresponding. It’s definitely worth stopping the conversation in contact if you encounter such a guy - it’s unlikely that there will be any future for this communication.
Try not to insist that you are right and not to start a dispute out of the blue . If you are by nature a fighter for someone’s rights and like to firmly defend your opinion, moderate your ardor if communicating with a person is actually interesting to you. Learn to listen and find a compromise, even if the other person does not share your views. This will let the guy know that you are ready to make concessions and will be able to resolve any conflict.
Avoid difficult topics . When trying to please, don't go to great lengths. If your interlocutor is interested in quantum physics, and these words are not familiar to you, do not try to create the appearance of a person who is “groping around.” It’s better to honestly admit that you don’t understand much about this and ask him to tell you about it in simple words.
Don't bring up unpleasant topics . This applies to past relationships, family problems, questions about financial security and marital status. Don't forget that for such questions you need to earn trust.

Give preference to light, relatable topics, do not put pressure on your interlocutor and do not rush things, you will still have time to find out about all his “skeletons in the closet”.

Communication with a guy on VKontakte allows a girl to feel calm and confident: any message can be corrected, and each phrase can be thought through in advance. Don’t forget that the main secret of a pleasant conversation is its sincerity and ease, which every girl can create.

Source: lifesovet.ru