What is the importance
Psychologists have long noted that people are pleased to hear their name spoken from someone else’s lips. After all, we hear it from an early age, associate with it our own personality, including personal qualities, external data, emotions, abilities, skills, feelings, intelligence and abilities.
- The name gives rise to pleasant memories in the head, associations with the most precious things: a mother’s love, her warmth, inner comfort.
- When we hear our own name, we feel significant, we feel respect from other people for our personality.
- When you pronounce a name, pleasant emotions are born in your head, improving your mood, evoking sympathy, and building a trusting relationship with your interlocutor.
A man does not call a woman by name - what is the way out of the situation?
Psychologists say that if a man calls his chosen one by name, this means that he is committed to a marriage where mutual respect and harmony will reign. However, do not despair if various kinds of nicknames still slip into people addressing you - everything can still be corrected. Perhaps he needs to hint about your desires.
What to do to get a man to call you by name - advice from a psychologist:
- If a man does not feel a kindred spirit in you and limits himself to dry treatment, tell him about it directly. There is an old joke in this case: when asked “listen” they answer “Who is Lusha with?” I don't know one! My name is Vika! (Just call me Vika).” This is unpretentious and will make it clear to the man that this is unpleasant for you.
- If a man ignores your name because of unpleasant memories from the past, give him time. He will understand that there is a completely different person with him and all his fears are in vain.
- When a man is sure that his native name simply does not suit you, the choice is yours. If you are not confused by his position - good, if not - tell him that you love your name and prefer to hear it when addressing yourself.
- If in a family scenario the parents did not call each other by name, play along. Call him by his last name, let you have a special relationship. But gradually form the habit of calling yourself by name, at least in intimate conversations.
- If at the first meeting you immediately became “beloved”, think seriously about whether you want to get involved with an infantile or loving guy.
- When a woman notices that epithets addressed to her are reinforced by manic behavior, psychologists strongly recommend being wary and distancing yourself. Such men quickly break women, completely bending them under them.
Calling each other “cats”, “kids”, “suns” has become very popular, especially in adolescence. You shouldn’t immediately panic if from the first meeting they started calling you “doll” or “redhead” - sometimes you need to let the guy know once that this is unacceptable, and he will accept your position.
In any case, a frank conversation will be a panacea for solving such problems. Only after it will you understand how to behave further. Maybe hearing “sparrow” from your loved one is not the worst thing that can happen in a relationship!
Source: budumna.ru
Possible reasons
Let's look at why a man on a subconscious level may not want to call his girlfriend or woman by name.
Let's look at the most common reasons.
- Copying parental behavior. Perhaps in your chosen one’s family it was not customary to address each other by calling their name.
- The young man treats your relationship as a fleeting romance. According to psychologists, when a guy loves, the name of his beloved is constantly on his lips and in his thoughts.
- Having a bad experience with a girl with the same name. A man cannot call it out loud, as this revives old negative memories in him.
- In the case of a first date, a trivial situation may occur: the man simply did not have time to remember the name of his chosen one, especially if it is unusual. By referring to an affectionate nickname, one avoids awkwardness.
- When a young man has many young ladies. That is, he dates several girls at once, and in order not to get confused with their names, he simply does not say them.
- It's all due to a psychological barrier, as a consequence of reluctance to get close to a partner. In such a situation, a man will not even resort to affectionate nicknames; his appeals will be unaddressed.
- It simply does not attach any importance to this phenomenon. He calls his partner affectionate names, because certain associations form in his head when he sees her. He will not call you by his name if he is convinced that it does not suit you.
- By resorting to all sorts of nicknames, it hides true aggression, manipulation, and tyranny. At the initial stage of the relationship, the young man resorts to cute nicknames, over time he becomes authoritarian, constantly criticizes, and tries to tell him what to do. Physical violence may also occur.
- I am convinced that calling by name is too formal and such behavior should not exist in relationships between people in love.
- If your young man ignores your name from the very first date, and every time new endearing epithets come out of his mouth, then you are communicating with a true womanizer or with a person for whom words mean nothing.
- Nomatophobia. Perhaps your partner is simply afraid to say any name out loud. Often a prerequisite for this is remote communication online.
- Emotional distance from parents. The situation when the father and mother did not address the boy by name, he grew up believing that he himself should not do this.
- Cannot pronounce your name, especially if it is difficult to pronounce or the man has a stutter.
The meaning of a name for a person
The meaning of a name for a person.
Name as a way of manipulation and influence Your name is like a piece of ice on the tongue.
One single movement of the lips.
Your name is five letters.
A ball caught on the fly
Silver bell in mouth.
Sob as your name is.
In the light clicking of night hooves
Your big name is booming.
And he will call it to our temple
The trigger clicks loudly.
Your name is a kiss on the eyes,
In the gentle cold of motionless eyelids.
Your name is a kiss in the snow.
Key, icy, blue sip...
With your name - deep sleep.
Previously, I have repeatedly wondered why, when you are deeply in love, it is impossible to call your “object” by name? I heard about the same thing from a variety of people (of course, we are talking about a culture where it was customary to truly fall in love, and not to use a person as a commodity). Now there are some thoughts on this matter. But first, quotes.
Atharvaveda researcher T.Ya. writes about the same thing. Elizarenkova: “A word, according to the concepts of the Vedic people, reflects the essence of the object it denotes. A special case of this general idea is the assessment of the connection between a name and its bearer. The name is the essence of a person, and to “capture” the name of the enemy, that is, to find out his name, means to gain the enemy into your power.
Isn't this where the solution lies? Is there not a deeply hidden archetype left in us that a name that evokes such strong feelings is sacred, that is, not mentioned in vain? Perhaps falling in love only actualizes this ancient archaic layer in us? This is why they come up with all sorts of profane substitutes, such as “Baby”, as well as “Kitty”, “Fish”, and I don’t understand what else. What feeling could be stronger than falling in love? Is it just the fear of death?
There are many ways to evoke sympathy - a smile, a touch, a flirtatious glance.
Indeed, we hear our name from infancy. We repeat it to ourselves over and over again. We completely grow into our name. We simply cannot help but react to it, we focus attention and... remember the person.
Your name, pronounced by a loved one, is much more pleasant than “bunnies, fish, birds.”
I scoured the Internet and this is really a problem. Many established and happy married couples experience such difficulties.
In the example you gave, we are talking about people who mean nothing to you personally. These are strangers whom you don’t want to let into an intimate, personal communication zone. A name is indeed a very personal thing.
Here you need to focus on becoming closer to the person, getting into his personal circle. And then it gets closer and closer.
What do affectionate nicknames say?
Often, when a man does not address his woman by name, he uses nicknames, mostly in an affectionate form. However, it is important to know that the chosen word carries some kind of psychological meaning. We will look at the meaning behind some nicknames.
- Animal names (cat, bunny) can indicate either that the man has a gentle character and is ready to do anything for you, or a superficial relationship.
- Children's addresses (called baby, baby, baby, girl) indicate that the young man is ready to take responsibility for his tender chosen one, but this can also indicate the opposite effect, indicating that he himself is infantile.
- Cosmic names (star, sun) indicate that your partner wants to see his woman shine brighter, wants to be proud of her.
- Poetic phrases (dazzling empress, light of my soul) often indicate idle talk.
- Warm (dear, my beloved), the man is committed to a long-term relationship or wants you to show your feelings for him more strongly.
- Sensual concepts (happiness, my joy), for strong love.
- Appeals indicating some kind of value (my gold, priceless) may be a manifestation of the need to gain some kind of benefit (and these are not always material values).
- Delicious names (my donut, my candy, my marmalade) can be pronounced by a man who feels warmth from you, feels your support, or he needs your housekeeping.
- A non-standard nickname, which a man associates exclusively with you, for example, your last name, appearance, character, indicates truly deep feelings, a desire to live with you all his life.
My husband addresses me by name and calls me sunshine, kitten, honey, beloved. At the same time, more pleasant emotions arise for me precisely when he utters affectionate nicknames. Therefore, you need to look in your specific case whether it is worth focusing on the current situation or whether it is normal.
We write well: from idea to text
There are psychological techniques for effective communication that help to inspire trust and sympathy in people. One of these techniques is saying out loud the name of the person with whom we are communicating.
Let’s imagine two completely identical communication situations, but with different partners. The first partner treats us with sympathy, the other is wary or we are unpleasant to him. Which of them is easier to convince of their correctness using the same arguments? Of course, someone who treats us positively.
This proves that, regardless of our desires, feelings and emotions influence our communication with people. Including business.
In most cases, it is impossible to separate reason and emotions. Anyone who does not take this into account, as a rule, sooner or later faces conflict situations. Because suppressed emotions and feelings at one far from wonderful time can spill out at once.
Anyone who knows that there is much more emotional in a person than rational can use it quite skillfully!
Let's observe people who have the ability to win people over and inspire trust. How do they win over their interlocutor, what psychological techniques do they use?
Firstly, such people are open and smiling, and secondly, they know how to give compliments. But most importantly, they always call the person by name!
This psychological technique of communication (calling a person by name) is not formal politeness. This is how a person is designed that the sound of his name evokes pleasant feelings in him, often unconsciously. It was this circumstance that allowed Grandfather Carnegie to say that the sound of one’s own name is the most pleasant melody for a person.
Why is this happening? There are several reasons for this.
- A person hears his name from birth. Mom and dad, grandparents call the baby's name affectionately, tenderly, with love. The little man does not yet understand the words, but perfectly captures these notes of love and admiration. Pleasant moments that stay with a person forever!
- By calling a person by name, we emphasize that we are interested in him and his opinion, and not in someone or something impersonal. The name is a unique symbol of personality. And any person feels if he is being infringed upon as an individual. Or he feels satisfaction if attention and respect are emphasized to him.
- Positive emotions are what we always strive for, consciously or unconsciously. We called the person by name, this caused a pleasant response from him, and he forms new reciprocal feelings towards us - gratitude, sympathy and trust.
So, we know the reasons and mechanism of action of the psychological technique of communication - calling people by name. All that remains is to put it into practice.
- As often as possible, we call by the name of the people with whom we live - wife, husband, children, relatives, friends. It is clear that they love us without it. But it’s damn nice to do something nice for your loved ones!
- When greeting your work colleagues, do not forget to add the name or patronymic name of each of them to the phrase “good morning!”, “Hello”. Positive emotions will not keep you waiting! Namely, they give rise to sympathy over time.
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Unpleasant associations with your name
In fact, this is the rarest possible cause.
Your man is a big sissy, and he can’t forget how his chemistry teacher Natalya Nikolaevna shamed him in front of the whole class, and now saying the name “Natasha” is simply physically unpleasant for him.
Well, what can I say... This also happens. If you are satisfied with the hysterical type of hypochondriac, continue to pretend that you have accepted this game. In the future, don’t be surprised if he forbids you to make black tea (because he was doused from a cup at your last job) or turn on the light in a dark apartment (because that’s how he caught his parents doing something interesting). Any idiot (sorry, but we will speak frankly) takes root and begins to bloom wildly when it is carefully looked after.
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If you don’t want to turn into the twitchy girlfriend of such a neurasthenic, tell him: “Seryozha, my name is Natasha. Natasha. Natasha. Repeat after me. Not Bunny. Not my girl. And Natasha." Repeat until memorized. Or let him go on all four sides before he turns you into a victim of his painful memories.
