How to understand that you need to divorce your husband?

A family is a unit of society created on the basis of love, fidelity, mutual understanding and the further birth and upbringing of children. However, it is not always possible to save a family; more often than not, this does not even make sense; there are many reasons for this: domestic and financial difficulties, alcoholism, violence, infidelity. How to decide on divorce? Many wives often ask themselves this question, there is an answer, it is important to understand the seriousness of the reasons.

So, according to statistics in Russia, for every 2 weddings there is 1 divorce, that is, more than 50% of families break up over time. Of these, more than 50% are due to infidelity, more than 30% are alcohol and violence from a spouse, other reasons account for about 20% of this, not very positive statistics.

Save the family

Often families break up without any particular reason, because divorce is an extreme measure and there are reasons why it is worth saving the family:

• Love. If there are no compelling reasons for separation in general, family life has simply become banal, but feelings still remain, then it is worth analyzing the relationship and trying to understand the current situation. Perhaps it’s enough to diversify family life a little, bring in a little romance, go on vacation together, spend a romantic honeymoon No. 2 and everything will work out. It is important to stop finding fault with each other, not to create scandals over trifles, and balance will return to the relationship.
• Children. Before deciding to divorce, if there is a child and mutual understanding has not yet passed, the spouses are simply tired of everyday life and everyday difficulties, here again you need to bring the relationship into harmony. Children are the most important thing in life; they should grow up in a complete family, where love and harmony reign.

However, more often we are faced with compelling reasons that often require an immediate decision; in such cases, separation and subsequent divorce is the only correct decision. So, there are several reasons why you should decide to divorce your husband.

How does divorce happen?

Often women are faced with the problem of how to file for divorce if there is a child, but his father is not included in the birth certificate.
This happens when a child was born before marriage, and the parents formalized the relationship only after his birth. In this case, it will also not be possible to quickly divorce without a trial if one of the spouses declares in court that they have a joint child, and in order to further receive alimony, it is necessary to establish paternity and only then go to court to collect it. The process of family separation in the registry office is simplified.

The husband and wife collect the relevant documentation, fill out an application, and pay the state fee. After 1 month, they receive a certificate of divorce, all mutual obligations cease.

The civil registry office has the right to terminate a marriage under the following conditions:

• no common minor children;
• no disputes over property;
• both spouses mutually agree to the divorce.

In cases where one of the spouses is unable to appear at the registry office, he writes a statement of his consent to terminate the marriage relationship and notarizes the signature on the document.

If disagreements arise, the registry office loses all powers to dissolve the marriage - the case will be heard in court.

However, there are cases when the termination of a marriage relationship is carried out at the request of one of the parties:

• one of the spouses is declared missing;
• declared incompetent;
• sentenced to more than three years in prison.

In such exceptional situations, the Civil Registry Office will terminate the marriage. Disputed issues about property and children must be resolved in court.

If there is a general agreement on the upbringing of children and the division of property between the spouses, a statement of claim is submitted to the magistrate, which indicates that it is impossible to preserve the family relationship and the marriage should be terminated.

Basically, the claim is filed at the place of residence of the defendant. However, in family disputes, it is possible to file a claim in the place where the plaintiff lives.

The court applies for divorce in the following cases:

• there are minor children;
• there are disputes regarding property;
• one of the parties refuses to terminate the marriage.

In the latter case, the judge will give the couple time for reconciliation - a period of 3 months. If the spouses have not maintained the relationship during this period, the marriage ends, even if one party does not want to divorce.

The civil registry office, having dissolved the marriage, will issue a divorce certificate to each spouse. A note indicating the termination of the marriage will be included in official documents, and a stamp will be affixed to the passport.

If the divorce case was resolved in court, employees of this government agency will send it to the territorial registry office within 3 days after the decision to terminate the marriage enters into force. Civil registry office employees will issue a divorce document to the former spouses upon application and after paying the state fee.

From the moment of receipt of certificates that the marriage union is completed, the spouses are considered free and have the right to enter into a new marriage.

In case of divorce through the court, the consent of the other half is not necessary. This procedure is always possible, except in the following cases:

• if the plaintiff is the husband and the wife is pregnant;
• if there is a child under 1 year old;
• if the child was stillborn, but a year has not yet passed since his birth.

You cannot demand a divorce from a pregnant wife even through the court - the husband will be refused

A claim for divorce can be brought to the court at the place of residence of the other half. Only sometimes at the applicant’s address:

• if a minor child lives with the plaintiff;
• if there is a certificate stating that it is impossible to travel due to health conditions.

If the address of the defendant is unknown, then you can go to court at the last address where he lived.

“I want to divorce my husband” - a similar thought, for various reasons, comes to the minds of thousands of modern people. How to get a divorce if there are constant disagreements with your husband and there are no children together? In this case, the marriage union is dissolved through the registry office. You can apply to the registration authority for dissolution of the marriage union if:

• the desire of the spouses to dissolve the family union mutually;
• there are no common minor children in the marriage;
• there are no disputes about jointly acquired property;
• the partner is listed as missing or is serving a prison sentence of more than 3 years (confirmed by relevant documents).

Spouses who have a child together during their marriage are divorced through the courts. However, if a woman, for objective reasons, is deprived of the opportunity to attend court hearings, then a divorce from her wife is possible through the registry office, even if there is a joint child. The reasons for such unilateral termination are the woman’s loss of physical capacity, the occurrence of a mental illness, or her disappearance.

The documents required for divorce are submitted to the registry office. The registration authority is selected at the place of marriage or at the place of registration of one of the partners. Documents are submitted in person. The registry office specialist accepts the documentation package and checks it. After 30 working days, the ex-spouses come to receive a divorce certificate. In cases where disagreements arise between spouses, divorce documents are submitted to the judicial authorities and are subject to review by a judge.

List of documents required to dissolve a family union:

• application for divorce;
• copies of spouses' passports;
• original marriage certificate;
• check for payment of state duty;
• documents confirming the incapacity of the husband or wife (medical certificates or court decision on imprisonment).

If a woman took her husband’s surname, then in the application she must indicate what surname she wants to bear after the divorce. You must pay a state fee - 650 rubles per person. The divorce certificate is automatically canceled if the spouses do not come to receive it on the appointed day. Then the marriage is considered preserved, but the paid fee is not refunded. The application form for divorce through the registry office is given below.

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We ask you to carry out state registration of divorce in the manner prescribed by Article 33 of the Federal Law “On Acts of Civil Status”; assign last name:

to him __________________________________________________________

to her ___________________________________________________________

____________________ ___________________

he she

Divorce documents have been prepared – where to start the process? First of all, you need to pay the state fee, since when accepting the application the judge will require a receipt of payment. Each copy of the divorce certificate costs 650 rubles. That is, upon dissolution of the union at the registry office, each spouse must pay this amount. In case of judicial termination, the state duty is also 650 rubles.

If there are disputes about property, the division of material assets is paid separately. The amount of state duty for division depends on the total value of the marital property. The more “good” the spouses have acquired, the more expensive the divorce will be. The minimum price is 400 rubles, the maximum cannot exceed the established amount of 60 thousand rubles.

A divorce certificate is the only document that confirms the fact of family breakdown. It is issued at the registry office on the basis of an existing court order. Each of the former spouses receives their own copy of the certificate. The general marriage document is annulled.

You must provide your passport to the employees of the registration authority, where they will enter information about the divorce on the page about marital status. Spouses are free from family obligations from the moment they receive the certificate and acquire the legal right to re-enter a marriage union.

Typology of husbands

Types of men you should not marry, and if you have already made a mistake, you need to leave representatives of this typology:

• A “redneck” is quite wealthy, due to his special ability to save, but his saving on everything and everyone except himself leads to unacceptable redneckness. This type does not buy flowers, does not give gifts, because he considers this a waste of money, and does not spend money on a woman if it does not bring him some benefit. He never gives money to his wife, often takes her salary, he himself buys everything and only what he considers necessary. He doesn’t take anyone’s opinion into account; money is a goal for him, but not a means. With such a husband, the wife is always disadvantaged in everything, she has to account for every penny spent, and if she does not work and does not contribute to the family budget, her husband will reproach the “redneck” with every ruble. It is worth considering a divorce from such an unbearable male representative.
• “Egoist” is a kind of analogue of “redneck”; his selfishness manifests itself in everything, both in relationships and financially. The most important person on earth is himself. Neither his wife nor his children are an authority for him; he can literally humiliate his loved ones, lowering the self-esteem of the people around him. If this bullying is not prevented in a timely manner on the part of the “selfish” husband, over time the wife’s self-esteem decreases to the point of being impossible, her psyche puts up with constant bullying, and she begins to believe that her husband is the only man who is doing a favor by living with such a “ gray mouse."
• “Sadist” can use both moral and physical violence, unlike “egoist”, a more dangerous typology. Here the man does not neglect the moral and physical humiliation of his victim wife. Scandals and beatings are the norm with this type of man. If at least once a man dares to hit a woman, action must be taken immediately. In order to save your life and health, psyche and health of children, who can also become victims of a sadist, you need to urgently make a decision about divorce, and first you need to leave such a husband.
• “Cable,” in part, is a relatively harmless typology of men, however, against the backdrop of constant betrayal and his craving for something new, the old may begin to irritate him, and here symptoms of other types of bad husbands may appear: selfishness, sadism, redneckness. Being the wife of a “cable” is a diagnosis; more often than not, wives suspect that their husbands are cheating, but are afraid to believe it. A number of male husbands do not hide their infidelities, morally, thereby humiliating their wife, who is afraid to divorce him for a number of reasons.
• “Drunk” is also a diagnosis, one of the most dangerous types of husbands, since sadism and selfishness also manifest themselves against the background of alcoholism. In order to preserve your own dignity, the remainder of your property and for the sake of your children, you should immediately decide to divorce your alcoholic husband. It is important to make a decision in a timely manner and divorcing your drinking husband will allow you to free yourself and start living again.
• The “drone” or “idler” is a relatively harmless type of husband, but his unwillingness to work and earn money entails financial difficulties. From a woman, a wife turns into a hard worker who works hard to feed her family and her “drone” husband, and also into a housekeeper, since this type of husband is generally useless at home, they either do not know how or do not want to do anything. If conversations do not help, this slacker has not worked for more than 2-3 months, this is an alarming sign, here you urgently need to get a divorce and kick out the “drone”.
• The “gambler” is a peculiar type of husband; his addiction to gambling takes large sums of money out of the family budget; he can lose everything. Automatically increasing debts ultimately lead to lies and financial difficulties. Gambler does not always mean gambling, but always means taking unnecessary risks. He may participate in dubious transactions, hoping to earn a lot and quickly, which more often leads to the loss of investments. The result is the same debts, lies and financial difficulties.
• “Liar” - this type can be characterized as a man’s tendency to pathological lies always and in everything. This category of husbands lies about any reason; for any question there is a colorful story, which is sometimes difficult to believe. Whether it’s a delay at work, the amount of your salary, the price of a purchase, a meeting with friends or an affair on the side. It is possible to catch a liar, his incredible stories and excuses are not difficult to verify, another important point is that due to constant lies they may forget what they lied about earlier, so it is enough to ask again about his adventures the weekend before last and the story may be completely different.

If a woman sees in her chosen one or more signs from the listed typology of husbands, she should seriously think about the advisability of further family life. However, in 30% of cases, divorces are initiated by men. How to decide to divorce your wife is a question that men often ask. More often, a number of circumstances can push a husband to divorce: his wife’s infidelity, his affair on the side, which grew into something more than an affair and he fell in love with his own mistress, as well as banal everyday difficulties, fading feelings towards his wife, and so on.

How to decide to divorce your husband if you have children

Many married couples were prevented from separating by the presence of children. How correct is this? A child sees much more than adults think. He feels emotions very well. He sees his parents quarreling, worries when dad comes home late and especially intoxicated. The child will not talk about his feelings, but everything he sees is deposited in his consciousness, which will subsequently affect his relationships with the opposite sex. Yes, the baby wants mom and dad to be close, but he wants even more to see them happy. Keeping the family together just for the sake of the child is dishonest, first of all, towards him.

Before taking a responsible step, parents should discuss everything among themselves without the presence of the child. Quarrels in the presence of children are unacceptable.

A woman often does not decide to divorce, thinking that she will not be able to raise her son or daughter on her own. But many mothers cope. In this case, parents should agree on what participation the father will take in raising his children.

A competent, civilized approach is what will help in solving this complex issue. If the father agrees to help, great. If he refuses to support his son or daughter, then think about whether you really want a man who doesn't want to take responsibility.

The most difficult time is the first time after a divorce. A person gets used to everything quickly. Within three weeks you will realize that life is not so bad. Emotions will subside a little, the child will begin to get used to the new life. There is no need to deprive him of communication with the other parent, because proper upbringing is the experience of both the father and mother, as well as their love.

Women's fears

For women to decide to divorce their husbands, the advice of friends and relatives does not always help, since there are several basic fears that prevent them from making the decision to divorce:

1. Fear of being alone. Often, especially after many years of living together, a woman begins to be afraid of loneliness, and sacrificing herself to the scoundrel, continues to exist next to him. However, it is enough to reconsider your priorities and put your beloved self first, your one and only and unique self, who is given only one life and her woman deserves to live in happiness, everything will fall into place. Sometimes, through self-revaluation of values ​​or with the help of professional psychologists, you can regain lost self-esteem, free yourself from unnecessary things and find your new happiness.
2. Fear of having nowhere to go. This problem often stops unhappy wives from living in their husband’s apartment when their parents are not in the nearest city, renting a place is expensive, here the wife is a victim of circumstances and is forced to endure her tyrant husband because of the housing issue. You shouldn’t get hung up on this, because you can find an inexpensive apartment or house and rent it, which will free you from pressure and give you long-awaited freedom and tranquility.
3. Children. Often a woman suffers attacks from her husband because of her child; it is even more difficult to decide on a divorce with two children. However, children who grow up in a family where parents constantly argue has a detrimental effect on the psyche. Here it is worth thinking about a peaceful separation from your husband, moving and divorce, when the husband is in normal conditions and periodically sees the child. Agree, it is better to have a good dad from a distance than a bad one next to the children.

New life

Having examined the main causes of divorce, the typology of husbands, and women’s fears during divorce, we will become familiar with the recipe for restoring the emotional state after a divorce, which will increase self-esteem and start life anew.

1. Take care of your appearance. Beauty is the key to confidence; you urgently need to change your image: change your hairstyle and hair color, visit a cosmetologist and makeup artist.
2. Change your wardrobe. It is worth radically changing your style, preferably in favor of greater femininity and sexuality. More elegant dresses and skirts, high-heeled shoes are a must. We recommend researching the latest fashion trends before shopping.
3. Take a course of massage and spa treatments. A massage course will perfectly relieve tension, and chocolate or seaweed wraps are wonderfully relaxing and have a fantastic cosmetic effect on the body and skin.
4. Take up fitness. An ideal and toned shape is the key to self-confidence; fitness and diet will help you lose a few extra pounds and relieve stress.
5. Vacation. If possible, you definitely need to unwind, go for a few days - relax, change the environment, meet interesting people.
6. Diversify your life, bring more pleasures. It is important to start an active life, stop sitting at home, visit cafes, clubs, presentations, exhibitions, concerts more often - this is an opportunity to unwind, see people and show yourself, and also meet a nice young man.