Tips to get rid of unhappy love
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The feeling you experience is already happiness; love, even unhappy, can not only bring pain and suffering, but also inspiration and strength for new deeds and achievements. Achieve reciprocity if that makes sense. This should be done as carefully, unobtrusively and unobtrusively as possible. Just change for the better, discover new talents and interesting sides in yourself, be positive. Perhaps your positive energy will attract the guy's attention, but even if not, then by improving yourself, you will look at the world with new eyes. Try switching to another object. But this should not be proof to everyone that you are worthy of love. You must be seriously interested in a person, and pretend love will not overcome your previous feelings, but will only strengthen them, bringing with it even more unpleasant emotions and disappointments. Think about anything but him. Find yourself a new hobby and passion, immerse yourself in this business with your head. Take some free time so that you don’t have a single minute left to think. Don't close yourself off. Communicate with the people around you, do not refuse to go on a visit or to a movie, be in the company of friends or people you like as often as possible. Don't look for someone to blame. There is no one to blame in this situation. It could be you or him, or even the fact that the stars weren't aligned for you as a couple. Avoid meeting him. The less you see him, the less often you will think about him. Get rid of all the things that remind you of him. Daily trainings. Every morning, remind yourself that you are an individual and worthy of happiness. Dreams and thoughts about your loved one depress you, press you, bring you grief, so throw them out of your head. Think that true love brings joy, and the one that sits inside you is a habit, an attachment, anything, but not the bright feeling that you think about. Try to imagine that your love is a disease and it urgently needs to be treated.
Reasons for unrequited love
It is necessary to understand first of all what unrequited love means. This is not Cupid’s arrow or a feeling from above; rather, the main problem lies precisely in the person’s personality. You need to start understanding it with yourself.
There are several common reasons that help you understand what to do with unrequited love:
- Uncertainty. It is individuals with low self-esteem who most often suffer from this feeling. What prolongs unpleasant emotions is the feeling when the victim believes that he deserves such treatment.
- Fairy tale story. Many people want to feel like a fairy tale hero experiencing different events. It's a pity that life doesn't always have a good ending.
- Emotional charge. Even negativity can give a sea of emotions. Some girls and boys simply become dependent on their own experiences.
- Loneliness . Man is a social being. When he is lonely, he is ready to invent a novel for himself and believe in it himself.
- Parental neglect. Dislike in the family turns into a strong thirst for love, albeit in one direction.
All these moments can cause unpleasant emotions. The main thing is not to confuse this with full-fledged fateful love and painful attachment. You need to understand that love is a great feeling. It is possible between two people, it is mutual emotions, a craving for each other. Only love, painful and unpleasant, can be one-sided.
Complete relief from suffering
Sometimes it will be difficult to follow the advice; you will want to hide in a dark corner or hide under the covers and not see or hear anyone. But such behavior will worsen the situation. As you continue to live, over time you yourself will not understand how it happened that you think less and less about him, and even if you remember, it is without that pain in your chest that previously prevented you from breathing.
Remember: everything is in your hands and, first of all, your happiness!
Meeting a nice guy and having a pleasant evening in his company is not a guarantee that your relationship will continue. If a young man has overshadowed the girl’s mind, but there is no mutual feeling on his part, the situation becomes critical. Unrequited love is a sad circumstance that negatively affects the quality of life. It causes pain and mental suffering, deprives you of sleep and peace, because the woman has already decided that she has met the ideal life partner, but he remains completely indifferent to her. How to survive unrequited love for a man and regain peace of mind?
How to forget an unrequited loved one
An unrequited feeling causes a feeling of hopelessness, turning life into a series of dreary and joyless days. What can be done to make the obsession go away and life to sparkle with bright colors again?
Minimize contact
There is no need to change your place of work or residence; it is enough to ensure that your meetings are as rare as possible, without close contact. Remove the man from your social network contacts and erase his phone number.
Take a break
If you are overtaken by unrequited love, what to do with it? Force your mind to switch to other thoughts. Find an interesting activity that will completely absorb you and leave no time to think about the object of your affection.
Lead an active life
Start going to a club, attend concerts, appear in crowded places more often. Perhaps very soon you will meet a gentleman worthy of your love, who will be able to reciprocate the reverent feeling.
Don't blame yourself
The fact that a man is not inflamed with passion is absolutely not your fault. This is just not your person. Think about the fact that he couldn’t make you happy, the constant struggle for his feelings would quickly get boring, and you would start thinking about a painless separation. Shake yourself up, let go of the obsession and get ready to meet true love.
Don't accumulate negativity
Many ladies ask: “I suffer from unrequited love, how can I get rid of my worries?” Experts recommend not accumulating negative emotions caused by an unpleasant situation, but finding a place to throw them out. Sport has a positive impact. Do fitness, join a gym, run in the fresh air. Sports exercises release huge amounts of endorphin, the hormone of happiness. After classes, your mood will improve and bad thoughts will disappear.
The problem of unrequited love will never lose its relevance, because the heart cannot tell who to love and who not. Every woman finds herself in a similar situation at least once in her life. To get out of the bonds of unrequited love, you need to gather all your inner strength and act without delay.
You may be interested in: How to forget a loved one: advice from a psychologist Manipulator man in a relationship: how to recognize an inferiority complex in a man
Unrequited love stage. 7 stages of love - from falling in love through hatred to sincere feeling
Love is not given immediately. Many understand this, but not many are ready to work in order to finally love sincerely and deeply. It has long been noted that real feeling appears over the years; it takes a lot of trials and wisdom to fall in love. But let's take things in order.
1. love. The very first stage lasts a year and a half. People see their partner in the most attractive and unrealistic light. Beautiful appearance, good character, attention and kisses. Ideal. It was during the period of falling in love that many poems and novels were written. Films have been made and songs sung about this wonderful period.
“The Chemistry of Love” is what skeptical scientists who studied the human brain during falling in love called the first period. Hormones, endorphin and oxytocin, at first dominate the brains and blood of lovers. The centers of negative emotions and rational thinking are considered to be blocked by these two powerful elements. Euphoria and high spirits accompany every meeting. Falling in love usually ends with a wedding or the beginning of a life together.
2. satiety. When people start living together or spending a lot of time next to each other, the intensity of passions subsides, and a loved one becomes something familiar, even commonplace. The lovers are fed up with each other. Everyday everyday life comes into its own. The period of satiety passes almost unnoticed; it is most often short and rarely noticed by the spouses themselves. It is at the stage of satiety that shortcomings become noticeable. And not because the person hid them before, but because the brain finally begins to work in its usual mode. The period can drag on and change places with renewed love, if children are born in the family precisely in the period of time between love and satiety.
3. disgust. The third stage is a real test for future love. The rose-colored glasses are taken off, selfishness flourishes wildly. Falling in love is already behind us, saturation has occurred. During this period, special attention is paid to the partner’s shortcomings, of which, it turns out, there are more than enough. Virtues become invisible, and once sweet eccentricities now drive you crazy.
Unfortunately, without the third stage, the path to sincere, deep feeling is closed. For some, disgust lasts several weeks or months, while for others it lasts for years or alternates from time to time with other periods.
Quarrels, stormy showdowns, each shows himself from the most unfavorable side, and each sees the other only as a lump of negativity and incorrectness. It seems that the person turned out to be the wrong one. It is at this stage that many people conclude: we are too different to be together, we need to separate. Divorce during the period of rejection is fraught with walking in circles. Many men and women, having divorced, fall in love again over time, become fed up and feel a new wave of disgust. Some fall into a kind of funnel of divorce, when each subsequent marriage is broken again and again by everyday life, shortcomings and selfishness.
4. humility. There are no more storms. There are fewer quarrels. It becomes clear that it will not be possible to tailor a person to yourself. There comes an understanding that there is a person living with you who has both disadvantages and advantages. Usually during this period there is an active adaptation to each other. Special literature is used, communication with psychologists, long and often difficult conversations between spouses begin to resemble not a battlefield, but a negotiating table. These are teachings, preparation for love. Everyone begins to understand that they need to start with themselves: learn to forgive, understand, accept, endure. In many cultures and religions, humility, first of all, is the lot of women, who are naturally more flexible. It is she who, by her example, pushes a man to accept her too.
5. service. In all previous stages, good deeds implied a response. Both spouses, doing something good to their other half, consciously or unconsciously expected reciprocal behavior. During the period of service, you want to do pleasant things just like that, because the person is dear, because the soul is already ready for this. Service occurs consciously and voluntarily; it brings pleasure to both spouses. Attention! Only if one is delayed at the previous stage, the other speeds up the process through his own behavior. Free service is the first shoots of love.
6. friendship. This is where respect and understanding begin to show themselves. The couple had already gone through a lot by this time. Spouses know each other's characters and habits well, and know how to get out of difficult situations without conflicts. Both learned to do what was pleasant and necessary. They feel good and interesting together. The period of friendship can sometimes last for years and decades, because the spouses feel quite comfortable. Most often, friendship manifests itself brightly when the children have already grown up a little and the parents have enough time for each other. Childless couples come to friendship around the same time.
7. love. The long-awaited deep feeling comes deservedly and naturally. Understanding at a glance, spiritual unity - this is love. Few people reach this stage. After all, you must first learn to humbly and calmly accept a person as he is, take care of him free of charge, and accept his individuality. The stage of love is higher than simple attraction or habit; it is in love that spouses open up and harmoniously complement each other, their shortcomings are neatly smoothed out, and their virtues are reflected in each other. This time the hormones are no longer boiling, there is a calm and joyful acceptance of the whole person, integrity.
Probably, some readers have had the opportunity to meet elderly spouses who enjoy each other’s company. During the conversation, they are passionate, smiling, their faces radiate quiet, wise happiness and peace. And it is worth remembering that these people did not live like this in perfect harmony from the first day of their meeting, they grew their love, came to it through hatred and cooling.
According to psychologists, a couple needs at least 7-10 years to reach friendship and respect, which over time will give way to sincere love. We wish our readers to feel just such a feeling.
How to overcome unrequited love and live happily?
Hello, dear friends!
Happy are those people who, no matter what, managed to find their soulmate in the vastness of the Universe. Love can only heal wounds if it is not love itself. Reciprocity and sincerity of feelings is impossible without a reciprocal attitude.
Sometimes it happens that the object of our desires does not experience a similar feeling towards the initiator of the attempt to get closer. How to deal with unrequited love? What words do you need to find for yourself and for your chosen one in order to painlessly cope with the situation and sympathy that has arisen?
The inability to be together and the constant thoughts swarming in the head push people to commit rash actions and deeds. Convictions, arguments, declarations of love and persistence can complicate the life of any person who is running away from such spiritual discoveries of an opponent.
- Return to reality
- Right of choice and freedom
- How can I help myself?
It is impossible to fall in love with yourself. We either feel the emerging reciprocal feeling in the depths of our hearts, or we forever realize the impossibility of finding a tandem with a person.
Of course, every person living on planet Earth wants to love and be loved. It would seem that among millions of people, we will definitely meet the one who is destined for us from above.
But sometimes, the chosen ones are people with whom communication is impossible for several reasons: they are already in a relationship, or simply do not consider the proposed candidacy because they do not meet expectations.
What to do in this situation? Is it worth devoting your life to the eternal search for arguments and reasons to prove “You will be happy with me!” Whether you like it or not!”
For today's article I have prepared some tips. I understand that any logical arguments may not work if a guy or girl falls asleep with the thought of forbidden love and wakes up with her in his arms. But still, having realized that there is another option for the development of the plot, it will be easier for the “patient” to draw the appropriate conclusions and finally live happily.
Signs of unrequited love
Assessing an unrequited love feeling, experts note that the principle of relativity fully applies to this characteristic. Non-reciprocal love today can be reciprocated tomorrow. Its signs can also be considered relative:
- the partner is burdened by society or is indifferent to the presence of the lover;
- he has no desire to introduce him to his friends and relatives;
- the status of the relationship is in “suspense”;
- friendly relations are emphasized by all means;
- he himself does not strive for and avoids closer contact between the sexes;
- When communicating, he maintains neutral behavior without displays of tenderness or affection.
Return to reality
Unrequited love significantly interferes with life. The manic desire to pursue the object of passion and find ironclad arguments “why we should be together” sooner or later exhausts the nervous system.
A person, in his dreams, can already think through living together, a crowd of children, and even old age, but in reality, less rosy prospects await him.
In this case, aggression is developed and there is a reason to worry about the mental well-being of the individual. The desire to eliminate all obstacles on the path to a bright life can lead the owner of feelings to the clinic, to suicide or a nervous breakdown.
Before taking significant actions that could affect the life of the chosen person, it is worth answering important questions. What feeling are you really experiencing? True love or desire to possess?
Love should never bring destruction with it. And the desire to possess another being is determined by a totalitarian and even despotic perception. Cruelty and attempts to impose your feelings are dangerous and lead to more serious consequences.
Try to really understand the reason for such bullying of yourself. If you seek the favor of an individual because of triumph, the euphoria of victory, or proof of something else, then you are guaranteed to be upset after the implementation of your plan.
How can I help myself?
No matter how sad it may be to write this phrase, there is no more effective way to get rid of feelings: “Protect your consciousness from unrequited love and start living for yourself!”
Obsession with a person causes painful irritation. If the object of your desires is part of a common circle of friends, then you will have to stop such meetings for a while. The situation at work is more difficult due to daily occasions to see each other.
Eliminate all possible tests, hints and tricks in order to attract attention. Believe me, sometimes you need to move a little further to see the picture.
By leaving the person alone and accepting the situation, sobriety and clarity of thought will appear faster than in the case of daily reliance on self-pity and the manifestation of more stupid signs of attention to the individual.
If you still haven’t dotted the i’s, then this is the first action you should take together. Such a dialogue will make it much easier for two people. Firstly, you will get rid of illusions, and secondly, you will learn the truth and the real attitude towards you.
When the conversation has taken place and has not resulted in positive aspects of the parties, try to limit yourself as much as possible from contact with painful love. Don't scroll through social media, noting how and where he or she spends his or her leisure time.
Show chastity and be patient. Eliminate the desire to whine, listen to sad music, the habit of complaining about fate and being afraid to live on without your beloved being.
You are the reason to move forward, to strive for happiness and harmony in relationships. By wasting time on the wrong person, you miss the opportunity to meet the right one for a rather trivial reason.
