To find out, you need to understand why women cheat
Women's psychology regarding betrayal is not much different from men's. If a girl is happy with everything in the relationship, she does not cheat; if problems arise within the couple, and another option appears on the horizon (not even necessarily better), the risk of deception increases significantly.
Unconditional love does not exist. We are designed in such a way that we subconsciously strive for happiness. And it's not about money, beauty or anything else. A girl can go to a poorer or less handsome man, but he will give her exactly what she lacks - care, understanding, confidence.
If a woman is interested in her man, she has a good time with him, receives that share of care, understanding, she will not look to the left, because she will value what she has. She has no need to look for something else and complicate her life with deception. Read about the most common psychological problems in couples that can lead to one of them cheating.
First, discontent appears, the girl begins to share them with her man (we don’t spend much time together, let’s legalize our relationship, etc.) and if there is no solution to these issues, she closes herself off from her partner and often stops all conversations.
It’s interesting that the spouse can breathe a sigh of relief at this moment: “Well, she’s finally calmed down.” But in reality, it often turns out that the girl has simply given up and does not see a way to change the situation.
Not necessarily, she will start flirting herself, but she will observe and most likely accept advances from someone else if the opportunity arises. This, of course, is not a way out of the situation, but she sees no other way and tries to get away from problems with the help of alternative relationships.
Why do women cheat?
Psychologists point out that in the vast majority of cases, it is not the search for new sexual relationships that pushes a woman onto the path of infidelity. She seeks emotional support, attention and protection. In addition, the nature of women is such that she needs to constantly be desired by partners, even potential ones. Therefore, most often the reason for her infidelity is the fact that a woman feels lonely with her husband.
Other reasons for female infidelity:
- the desire to diversify sexual relationships with novelty or simply satisfy curiosity;
- revenge on the husband for humiliation or the same fact of betrayal;
- feel your power over a man;
- for the purpose of career growth (often this fact of betrayal takes on a forced nature);
- the desire to thank for support and kind attitude in difficult times;
- as one of the options to “earn extra money”.
Psychologists note that there is a category of women who are prone to cheating due to their upbringing or character.
How a woman behaves after cheating - signs
It is difficult to identify the main signs of betrayal that will be characteristic of absolutely all women. Each one behaves differently. It all depends on temperament and individual character traits.
For example, some may begin to openly compare their boyfriend with another man, often remembering a certain person in conversations: “But Zhenya opened his own business,” “But Oleg, unlike you, plays sports.”
The girl started comparing you in her head a long time ago and now she decided to do it out loud. By the way, this is not such a bad scenario. If you love her, there is a chance to make things work out. She wants this herself and tries to push you with her comments.
Read John Goth's to learn about the psychological characteristics and needs of girls.
Another sign is anger, aggression, nagging out of nowhere. Suddenly you start doing everything wrong: you put the mug in the wrong place, you close the door too loudly, you don’t stand in the right place at all. All this is the result of accumulated grievances.
The woman understands that she is doing something wrong, but she blames it on her partner, who “forced” her to cheat.
There is a third type of women who, after cheating, behave as if nothing had happened. They are not yet sure that they want global changes in their lives, and therefore are in no hurry to burn bridges. They calmly compare, look closely and slowly decide what to do next, but for now they enjoy the situation that has arisen.
Under such circumstances, it is difficult to find out that a woman is really cheating. She does not include her man in solving the problem and does not give any hints. All that remains is to pay attention to the little things: sudden changes in mood towards your spouse, delays at work, frequent meetings with friends. By
Problems with the man you love
Most often, women cheat on their husbands and beloved men because of complete disappointment in the relationship, revenge, or for the sake of sport. Not a single woman, unless she belongs to those representatives of the fair half of humanity who advocate open relationships, will dare to cheat on her beloved man if peace and harmony reign between them.
Even when the man himself is capable of succumbing to fleeting passion, the woman treats the relationship with care. That’s the way she is built, that short-term relationships are not for her. She does not need to raise her own self-esteem by the number of broken hearts; on the contrary, the best way to feel that she is truly successful is to create a strong and happy family, or for a certain period of time, have a long-term relationship. She does not need to pay attention or rush into the arms of another when she feels love and care from her partner. Relationships that do not commit to anything cause her suffering, so she tries to legitimize them or at least start living together as quickly as possible.
As time passes, when the passion goes away, and the loved one begins to cool down and pays less and less attention to it, a critical moment may come. Lack of love, care, affection, compliments, admiration, constant busyness and an indifferent attitude towards the requests and pleas of her beloved lead to the fact that a woman begins to feel deeply unhappy. But even this does not force her to rush in search of another. But, if some man who likes her begins to show signs of attention, say compliments and surrounds her with care that she is deprived of at home, very soon she will not be able to resist the persistence of the gentleman.
And it depends only on this man how long they will be together and whether it will end in divorce.
How to test a girl's fidelity
If you want unconditional devotion, it’s better to get a dog. The same woman at different times may change or not do this, regardless of who begins to care for her. This could be the same person.
If she is in a good mood, she is on the rise, enjoying her husband, with whom she has been together for a long time, but he, for example, gave her a long-awaited gift, sent her on a vacation at sea, or simply spent a pleasant romantic evening with her at home - even though her path will be strewn with petals roses Brad Pitt, she'll just look at him like he's crazy and walk by.
A happy woman does not notice others.
If a husband stays late at work for a long time, argues over trifles, torments her with complaints, ignores requests and does not notice her as a woman, the risk of deception increases. It is likely that she will even accept the courtship of Golum from “The Lord of the Rings” just to take a little break from her accumulated problems.
And then the question arises: what is considered treason? For women, as I already said, betrayal begins with moral aspects, not physical ones, that is, even a trip to the cinema will be perceived by most girls as the beginning of the end.
This is simply the first point in a series of long events leading to the bed of one and separation from the other. Of course, if the problem with the current man is not resolved, and the woman does not break off the relationship with the failed boyfriend.
Factors provoking an affair “on the side”
The question of why girls and women cheat at an older age is very relevant.
Despite the spread of various trends that simplify the interpretation of gender relations, interest in this phenomenon does not wane. Constant study of the problem has made it possible to compile a kind of rating list, which includes the most common reasons for an act with an unpredictable result, which is so unusual for the weaker sex. So, what lies at the heart of the psychology of infidelity among women endowed with the proud title of “keepers of the hearth”? Why is an affair on the side opposed to family values, the well-being of the union, which is so necessary for the normal development of the individual, society and humanity as a whole? According to experts trying to understand this seemingly similar step, female infidelity has quite prosaic reasons:
- insufficient attention from a spouse or permanent partner, and as a result, a drop in self-esteem, the desire to restore it through an affair “on the side”, to feel attractive and desirable;
- a natural sense of curiosity of the fairer sex, a desire to renew feelings and sensations, to receive an additional surge of strong emotions;
- a feeling of revenge for the betrayal of her husband, or regular situations when the spouse feels infringed on her rights, humiliated and insulted;
- difficult psychological climate in the family - jealousy, domestic violence, despotism of the husband, problems with raising children, etc.;
- long-term absence of a spouse (complicated work schedule, business trips, shifts, etc.);
- feeling tired from the daily routine, routine worries and responsibilities;
- desire to move up the career ladder.
Of course, if you dive into the problem even deeper, you can find a great many reasons why women cheat. Indeed, in addition to psychology, physiological needs, a low level of social responsibility, or simply elementary promiscuity can push such a step. There are not many who want to condemn a woman who is unsuccessfully trying to give birth to a child in marriage for an extramarital affair that gave her the joy of motherhood. Well, the fact that a lady, cheating on her spouse, solves her financial problems with the help of numerous lovers will certainly cause a completely different reaction from the healthy part of society.
How to understand for sure that a girl has cheated
Interestingly, the solution to the problem and an accurate check are one and the same. You need to talk to the girl. But first, decide for yourself exactly whether you need this relationship, regardless of whether she cheats or not.
In fact, the question is not as simple as it might seem. If you have any suspicions, then not everything in your relationship is perfect. It is very important here that the instinct of possessiveness does not work, and that you really understand and admit that you value the relationship with this particular woman.
Yes, yes, this needs to be done at this stage. And without reference to treason. This will save a lot of nerves and time needed to find the truth.
Do you love your woman despite all her shortcomings?
If you love your spouse and firmly believe that you need her, do not bring up the conversation about cheating. Find out from the girl what she wants from her man, what she lacks in her relationship with you. A frank conversation will be very useful, and the problem of betrayal will disappear by itself.
We will also need to talk about your doubts. Find out exactly whether the girl cheated or not. Otherwise, this question will torment you, perhaps ruin the relationship, but it will be better to do this a little later, when you achieve your goal - improve your life together.
If it is fundamentally important for you that your wife does not cheat, start a conversation on this topic with a direct question, say that you feel that you will not tolerate cheating, and if this really happens, let her go to another man without further ado.
This method is not ideal, as it can ruin a relationship with a woman who is not involved in infidelity; she will understand that you are not only a principled person, but also do not really value her.
But you will definitely know the truth if you are being deceived. Surely the girl is afraid of such a conversation, does not want to take the first step, you will make this task easier for her.
