Everything is cloudless in your family, and suddenly you began to notice certain peculiarities in your husband’s behavior. You begin to console yourself, but the moment will come when you realize that a completely different reason is hidden in your husband’s incomprehensible behavior. We are talking about adultery . Cheating is the most common cause of discord in the family and leads to the collapse of relationships. And it is because of her that families break up. Crimes that are committed out of jealousy are also common. Many people know that most divorces occur due to the husband’s infidelity. You shouldn’t sound the alarm right away, because it’s possible that these are just your conjectures. Until then, the betrayal does not become obvious, you should not express your concerns - they can cause a noisy quarrel.
Reasons why my husband cheated
- Your loved one is bored. Monotony and everyday routine often push representatives of the stronger sex to cheat. The man became bored and had a desire to take a break from family life and have exciting communication with other women.
- Sexual life has lost its former colors. Your sex life is not as perfect as it used to be. You are waiting for your husband to do his business and finally “notice” you, but sex turns out to be a favor, and then turning your husband’s back.
- Husbands cheat to assert themselves. According to their physiology, men are polygamous. Perhaps he was overcome by natural instincts, and the opportunity arose to strengthen his position through exploits on the sexual front. Often, a man who has a good social status and has women under his command falls into the “trap” of his subordinates, who are not averse to spending time with an influential boss.
- Frequent quarrels and conflicts in relationships can become an impetus for betrayal. When a man does not find the understanding he needs within his family, he looks for it elsewhere. There will always be people who want to “comfort” your spouse.
Why me?
In this article you will learn:
Classic unhappy gatherings with a friend, sometimes tears and a completely rhetorical question, ringing with despair: “Why do men cheat?” It is even more unclear what to do if the husband cheats and lies, but does not want to leave. After all, it seemed that everything was fine. And I don’t want to leave. Moreover, the husband says that he loves her.
In fact, everything is offensive and painful. A situation that is painful to admit. Which breaks self-esteem to smithereens. A situation that destroys all plans, hopes and dreams for a bright future. It takes away peace from the soul and instills a sticky, terrible fear of something like this happening again.
Let's talk about this difficult topic. I am sure that most of you will understand the reasons for your husband’s betrayal and lies. And he will also take for himself a lot of useful and important things to do.
Reasons why husbands cheat but don't leave the family
- Why leave if it’s good with your wife too...
- We haven’t met the best on the side, for which we are ready to “go to the ends of the earth.”
- They don't want to destroy the family.
- They know that this passing hobby will pass.
- They don’t want problems with divorce, they just hang out from time to time.
- This is a vacation for husbands, like going fishing or hunting.
Do all men cheat?
Certainly not. I'll even tell you more. A huge number of men do not consider adultery as something applicable to themselves. Cheating is absolutely not about them and not for them.
Yes, there is a certain percentage of men for whom cheating is something taken for granted. Such a man often does not hide this position in life. Therefore, if desired, such a “view” is very easy to see even before planning a serious relationship with him. Stop! Once again, relationship planning.
What if he “cheats” on you on the Internet?
Don't worry, because there is no reason to panic. It's no secret that about 75% of men communicate with the opposite sex on social networks, on a dating site. Just find out how far flirting on the Internet goes and this virtual betrayal crosses the line of what is acceptable. You should have a serious conversation with a man if this online flirting turns into a real meeting, but if this is a harmless correspondence, do not attach any importance to it. Remember, with pressure and hysterics and attempts to forbid him something, you will achieve sharp resistance and aggression. Remember, you are the one who enjoys receiving compliments from men.
The advice I give to all my clients!
Remember, it is important to learn, if you don’t already know how, and to always consciously plan all areas of your life. Those. life in general.
In my work, providing assistance and consulting to a large number of people every day, I have been faced with the same thing for several years. With the fact that the majority simply do not know how to plan their lives in a global sense. And they don’t even understand why to do this.
They do not realize the importance of having some kind of plan for this life. Where all areas of life, key points and basic desires will be written down. This does not mean at all that you need to strictly and every minute follow this plan and live according to the plan. But keeping the main goals of life as a guide for daily actions is extremely important! Otherwise, you will go astray, which is what we reveal in consultations with the ladies who come to me quite often. And it will be like in the joke “We started for health, ended for peace.”
I want one thing, I do another, why?
A simple example from life. You want a kind, gentle man. You want a strong family with him, children. And you yourself begin to have an affair with a married man. Where is the logic?
And even if he suddenly, which is often unlikely, leaves the family for you, then there is a high chance that he will cheat on you too. Where there is one, there is two, and where there is two, there is a system.
Having written plans about what you want in your personal life, you could not afford to have a relationship of this kind. Because they do not lead you to your cherished goal. Moreover, you would clearly describe in your plans the qualities that your man should be endowed with. And of course, you wouldn’t write down there a man’s desire to cheat on you . “What is written with a pen cannot be cut down with an axe,” remember this wisdom? This is truly great wisdom. And the interesting fact is that if you have written down goals and plans, then they are carried out with a high degree of probability.
But of course, you need to be able to plan. Be able to write down and be able to put the desired mental image into these actions. I teach the art of planning. Ability to plan during personal consultations via Skype or as part of a training course.
Talk to your husband
It is better to postpone the conversation with your spouse for a couple of days after the moment when you find out about everything: you will need time to put your emotions in order and be ready to make the right decision. You shouldn’t rush ahead and decide everything at once - this can lead to actions that you will later regret.
If you feel that you can talk to your husband adequately and defend your own interests, then you can no longer put off the painful conversation - the sooner you dot all the i’s, the better for both of you.
The only advice before talking with your husband: listen to him first - it is likely that you will hear a lot that you did not expect at all. Such an act could change a lot in your beloved, so you need to understand what he is ready for in order to save the family (if that is what he wants).
What to do if your man is an immature person?
A man who cheats left and right is more likely a “man-boy” who puts first his own craving for pleasure, thrills, and love “fireworks” when feelings sparkle without stopping. Such men are burdened with responsibility and this is a sign of an immature personality, which, by the way, may not “ripe” even into old age.
As a rule, these men are incorrigible, although in my practice, while providing assistance, I managed to calm down such men, thanks to special practices and rituals. It was extremely rare to resort to safe love spells. Don’t be alarmed, a love spell is not in the usual sense of the word, but a real energetic help for a couple or family on the verge of divorce or breakup.
When the only option is Divorce
The husband's feelings have cooled, but the force of habit pulls him into the family nest, so he returns to the family again. There are also men who always talk about leaving for someone else, but in reality, most often such men do not leave anywhere. There is also this type of betrayal when the husband behaves very defiantly, cheats without trying to hide it, constantly repeats that he will leave you. You want to save your family and perhaps you have different reasons for this, for example, not to separate your children from their father, or your strong love for your husband, the desire to save your family at all costs. But you must understand that nothing good will happen if you constantly sacrifice yourself. In this case, there is only one way out - divorce. The psychologist's advice is to understand the situation and get it out of your head (let it go). Stay calm, it’s worth tormenting yourself with tears and hysterics. It is very difficult to accept the fact that the man you love has cheated on you, understand that life goes on. If you decide to divorce, it must be completed..
Is physiology always the cause of cheating?
Of course, any heterosexual man inside reacts very sensitively to female beauty, this is physiology. Moreover, modern fashion does not spare men at all, flaunting women’s “physiology” quite excessively, please show understanding. But from “look” to “change” - the difference is the distance into the ocean. And so, I repeat, a significant percentage of men who have what is called “everything” in a relationship do not even think about cheating, and certainly do not take concrete steps in this direction.
What men lack is the main secret!
Now let’s talk about this “everything is there” in a relationship and what men are missing. Why do they start cheating? The point here is energy, energy exchange between a man and a woman. Yes, the box opens easily. It's all about energies and you need to sort out the issue of betrayal on the subtle plane and see exactly how and what happens there.
In the union between “M” and “F”, it is the woman who is a kind of energy accumulator-distributor. A woman feeds a man with energy, she creates him, creates. Everyone knows that a man is the head, and a woman is the neck. Those. It is the woman who largely determines what kind of relationship there will be, whether there will be a family, a home and harmony in that same family.
A man is a consumer, so to speak. From the point of view of energy, he consumes and thus, as it were, fuels his actions. If a woman feeds him with full energy, he “fills up and goes.” A man then creates, creates, earns, develops, everything goes well for him and he can do everything. Of course, in exchange, because this is an energy exchange, she is to him, and he is to her, he gifts the woman with abundance.
A woman, being in harmony with herself and with life, is thus thoroughly “grounded” and full of good energy. As part of my training course, I help women become exactly like this: harmonious, fulfilled, able to give men what they need and create their lives in abundance. I teach special practices, they are simple and at the same time quite effective. You can try it right now.
Today, a lot of results have already accumulated, read the stories of ordinary people and find out what and how they did so that their lives were transformed and changed for the better. By creating the necessary energy, a woman, in turn, nourishes all the space around her. It fills him and, of course, the man who is in the forefront of space.
A man, of course, is also an energy being, but he receives his main flows from the cosmos. There is a continuous energy exchange between a man and a woman, and love enhances these processes, becoming a kind of catalyst. And then the harmony between two loving souls is embodied in the creation of a harmonious environment for life with all other accompanying comfortable situations.
Initial data
To begin with, you must understand one simple thing - you can take some action only when you are 100% sure that your husband has a mistress. Guesses, premonitions, rumors or hints - all this is not suitable for making any benefits.
If you have any doubts, study the article “how to prove your husband’s infidelity” to get irrefutable evidence of infidelity. Only then will you be able to develop a plan and strictly follow it, without being distracted by hopes and assumptions.
Wives, having learned that their husbands have a mistress, seem to blame themselves for what happened. Society instills this in them, justifying the male part of the population.
But you should immediately remove any stigma of guilt from yourself - if a husband takes a mistress, this is solely his decision. In a loving relationship, a man and women discuss problems and look for compromises, rather than cheating behind their backs.
Your husband's betrayal is not your fault, but his decision.
So make decisions about your future without any unnecessary emotional suffering. No pity, concessions, self-torture. Just evaluate how you want to continue living - with him or alone. Any option is acceptable, the main thing is that it suits you.
Why do men cheat on even the best and most beloved wives?
Today, I see this from the huge number of women who have turned to me for help, there is a lack of knowledge on the topic of energies, the subtle plan and there are no skills, the ability to create with the help of thoughts. And so it happens that a woman suddenly falls out of this very harmony that we really need for relationships. No longer accepts himself as an unconditional value. And that’s when the energy exchange between a man and a woman in a loving couple is disrupted. The man says that he loves him and doesn’t want to leave, but at the same time the betrayals continue. Why?
Then, when she cannot nourish him, betrayal begins. How can she feed it if she has nothing to fill herself with, simply no energy? To give something, you need to have it. Remember, like the cat Motroskin: “In order to sell something unnecessary, you must first buy this unnecessary thing.” But in our case, energy is very, very necessary!
Not receiving enough energy from a woman, a man subconsciously begins to feel discomfort, because nothing else fuels him in the usual way. Most often, the lack of energy in a couple begins to express itself in more frequent conflicts. It’s sad, but a woman often sees in them confirmation of her own guesses - I’m not good enough.
And further development of the situation depends on the moral standards of each person, and on the character and on many other things. Some of the men endure, get angry, make claims, trying to return the former “fullness” of energy, but will never decide to take a fatal step and will not resort to betrayal in order to nourish themselves, refuel with it on the side. Although it is possible that he will secretly long for this.
And someone just discovers that such a balance is acceptable for themselves, when he receives the necessary energy by cheating on the side, continuing in a family atmosphere to diligently play the role of a spouse, father, and so on. But, as a rule, for a man such a step as betrayal is not easy.
What to do if a man cheats?
And now it just becomes clear why the path is a dead end when a woman directs all of herself, such as she is, to please a man. It would be more correct to work through your inner world, thanks to women's practices, to fill yourself up so that you can fill your man. Virtuoso sex gives physical pleasure, but not the necessary energy fullness.
Intense care and anticipation of desires creates excessive relaxation in a man and cultivates laziness, but does not bring comfort and harmony to the space. This is because the source is empty. Everything a woman does not out of a state of fullness, she does out of need. Going into minus and leading into a vacuum, into energy hunger, everything she is involved in.
Therefore, the main thing a woman’s attention should be directed to is how to do well for herself. This is not avoiding the problem, this is not a whim, this is the most important and primary thing that needs to be done. Just do it wisely and competently. And it is advisable that they lead you by the hand and show you, explain what’s what.
Why can't we leave everything as it is?
You should never consider it normal for a man to cheat but not leave. Sometimes a woman prefers to close her eyes to her husband’s constant infidelities and continue living together. This is fundamentally wrong. A man, feeling power over a woman dependent on him, will continue to manipulate her, regardless of her feelings.
The worst thing is when all this happens in front of children. Boys, seeing their father’s relationship with their mother, believe that this is how women should be treated, and daughters learn from their mother to remain silent and endure humiliation. A smart woman should find the strength to break off this vicious relationship if her husband does not have the courage to do so.
Most often, divorce is the only sure way out of such situations. Psychologists say that a woman after this kind of traumatic relationship, having gone through a divorce, feels much better. Some women describe a physical state of lightness, as if all this time they had been carrying a huge backpack full of stones, and now it had finally been thrown off their shoulders.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YVyY7VGV9UA
Why is the man not to blame?
Your man is showing you insecurity about his own attractiveness and worth. It is when you see his hot, sometimes greedy glances directed at other women. It reflects your attitude towards yourself when a long absence evokes thoughts about his infidelity to you. It is you who are sure that you cannot be valued. So much so that you can happily be content with only you throughout your life. It is you who are of no value to yourself. And, sad as it may be, the cheating man confirms your subconscious belief. It's that you're not good enough.
Working with the subconscious, internal programs, blocks and attitudes - this is where you need to start. My practices are aimed at getting rid of unnecessary programs in the subconscious in a matter of days. Yes, exactly in a matter of days. Sometimes people come to me who have been going to psychologists for years, who keep mulling over the same problems over and over again and this does not lead to changes in their lives.
My task is to help those who want to solve the problem, and not go around in circles again and again. I am a practitioner, and I love running right away. Therefore, everything is relatively fast for me.
There is a two-week express assistance, a monthly and a full three-month system. Three months, only 90 days, is negligible! Compared to the fact that people have been marking time in their problems for years. And they still can’t find a way out.
How to behave: forgive or break up
So, you know that there was definitely betrayal. Usually, after something like this, it is difficult for a woman to recover for some time; she wants to scream and climb the wall, calling her betraying spouse the last words, but this is not worth doing. The main thing to remember is that this terrible pain piercing the heart will definitely pass. Sooner or later it will calm down, settle down, become almost unnoticeable, and then disappear completely. And although it is not yet clear how to survive your husband’s betrayal, you need to constantly repeat this to yourself. All will pass.
After an internal struggle, if she managed to maintain composure, the woman must figure out why the betrayal occurred. A cool awareness of the reason will help you understand how to behave: there is no need to rush at a man with accusations. The husband knows what he did was terrible. The time has come to discuss future relationships, because you will no longer be able to live as before. It is necessary to determine what to do: forgive or leave? Save the marriage or give up everything?
If you have firmly decided that you can no longer live with the man who cheated on you, you should finally break off the relationship. This will allow you to start a new life: it will ache in your heart for a long time, but soon you will notice that every day waking up alone is getting easier and easier, and you miss old evenings less and less. You will have to bear responsibility for this act - you must allow yourself and the man to live on without regard to the past together.
But what to do if your husband cheated, but you don’t want to leave? Many women are afraid to be left alone, and if the spouses have a child, it is even more difficult to destroy the family. Separately, it is worth saying that for the sake of a child, you should not live with a person who is no longer dear to you. Children feel everything perfectly, so your child will probably notice the tension that appears. Parental quarrels will interfere with adequate child development, so you should only stay together when you are ready to continue the relationship and forgive.
If the stage of lies and omissions between you has passed, and your mistress is a fleeting passion, discuss options with your husband. Under no circumstances should you give a lying man any reason to think that his betrayal will be forgiven in the future. As they say, what you do once can be your last, but what happens twice should be expected next time. A few rules that will help you answer the question: how to cope with a man’s betrayal?
- Avoid comparing yourself to a man's hobby. This will hurt, but will not give a real assessment of your appearance, character, etc.
- Don't make excuses for a man. Yes, you also took part in the fact that the betrayal occurred, but this step is a conscious choice of the man. After all, you didn’t cheat on your husband because he doesn’t give you gifts?
- Be decisive. Let the man know that this is unacceptable. Continue relationships only if they are truly valuable.
- Don't take revenge. Some women prefer to numb the pain by deciding to do the same thing - betrayal. This terrible scenario will only bring additional pain and disappointment, and psychologically make it even worse. In addition, another person will suffer, who is completely innocent of betraying your man.
- Refuse to solve the problem with alcohol, excessive work, and entertainment. Yes, a bottle will help you forget for a while, work will plunge you headlong into a world of timelessness, and constant entertainment will distract you, but this will not help you survive the betrayal, but will only further deprive you of your strength.
The main thing is to remember: when you forgive, forgive. If you stayed together, forgive sincerely, with all your heart, otherwise you will turn life into hell, where every mistake a man makes will resurrect pictures of what is happening now.
Watch an interesting video where a psychologist gives women advice on how to survive the betrayal of a beloved man:
What's the first thing to do to stop a man from going out?
The first and most important thing is to urgently raise self-esteem by any means. Consciously set aside time every day just for yourself. Use it with joy and pleasure, doing something nice for yourself. Not in order to please others, but in order to please yourself first. The more often, the better, you should ask the question: “How is my sunshine feeling? What would she like right now? And pushing everything aside, pamper yourself with attention.
It turns out that if you want, you can find more than one minute for yourself, even in the most “smoking” schedule and with a horde of small children at home to boot. This can, of course, be done only if you know how to plan - without this you can’t get anywhere.
Smile at yourself in the mirror, learn to love every cell of yourself. Do you think the egg has ever thought that it is not good or beautiful enough? No, of course not, she is ideal and is the center of life and attractiveness. Therefore, all the sperm flow towards her and fight for the right of primacy. Otherwise we would all have died out a long time ago. Be wise, be like eggs)
How to get rid of your husband's cheating forever?
Nowadays, in the rhythms of modernity, it is wisest to turn to a specialist for help. After all, sometimes it’s the hardest thing to get out of such a depressive, depressing state. And a man’s betrayal is almost always accompanied by similar conditions. I have quite a few grateful clients whom I have helped. Whom she supported in difficult times and taught to live differently. Live with self-love and the ability to nourish men with energy. So that they don’t even think about betrayal.
Today, I have a lot of experience and a lot of proven methods for regaining self-love. Resuscitate yourself, increase self-esteem. And, most importantly, there are ways to improve current relationships and build new harmonious relationships. More details about the methods and methods at the link.
But the intention to give yourself love, to fill yourself with energy, is what should guide all your actions if you want to change your life for the better. There are no harmonious relationships out of need, it doesn’t happen like that. Harmony can only come from excess, excess, overcrowding and abundance.
Therefore, it is important to create this excess and abundance, starting with yourself, so that, once you get the hang of it, you will love life with renewed vigor. And it won’t matter to those who thoroughly love the fulfilled you, believe me. And then, having read somewhere a note with the title: “What to do if your husband cheats and lies, but doesn’t want to leave?”, you will discard such reading. After all, this is not about you at all.
Friends, if you liked this article, share it on social networks. This is your greatest gratitude. Your reposts let me know that you are interested in my articles and my thoughts. That they are useful to you and that I am inspired to write and explore new topics.
Reasons for male infidelity and lies
When such a nuisance happens in a family, a woman constantly thinks about the reasons for the betrayal. Why and why did her husband do this to her?
There may be several reasons:
your relationship has become a habit and turned into a continuous routine, tenderness and feelings have disappeared somewhere, instead coldness and even neglect have appeared. And the man wanted passion and vivid sensations; you are away from each other for a long time. In order to somehow satisfy his intimate needs, he starts an affair on the side; a man wants to assert himself and does this through victories on the sexual front. He believes that the more ladies he has in his bed, the more of a man he is. Some other representatives of the stronger sex are firmly convinced that for achievements in their careers they are simply entitled to have a mistress; no withdrawal from the spouse
When a woman pays all her attention to children, home or work, and her husband is not included in this circle, he, of course, will begin to look for care on the side; a woman stops paying attention to her appearance. As people age, they lose their attractiveness, and you can’t argue with nature
Don’t stop caring for yourself, do everything to continue to attract your spouse; cheating out of boredom. Often men are burdened by constancy: home, work, dacha, children. He just needs to change something in his life, to make it more interesting. That is why he is attracted to another woman; total control on the part of the wife repels husbands. Men, despite having a family, value freedom very much. But if you monitor his calls, correspondence, communication on the Internet, and if anything happens, you immediately make a scandal, then the husband will definitely not be able to stand it and will begin to seek solace in the arms of his mistress.
Why doesn't he leave his family?
Oddly enough, having cheated on his wife, the husband is not going to leave his family. Why is this happening? There is someone better - go to her. But this question arises more often among women. Men are already fine - they have a family, they have a mistress, why change anything? Moreover, if over the years of his life he built a house or bought an apartment and accumulated funds. He has everything, and now he can enjoy a devoted wife and a passionate and desired lover, whom he keeps at a distance, and this suits him.
Men in most cases are emotionally attached to their legal spouse, and not to their new chosen one. And sometimes this connection does not allow him to take a decisive step. The husband and wife become, as it were, one whole, and somehow I don’t want to break this unity. This is how he intends to live for two families.
There are a number of other factors that keep a man in the family:
- children. The fact that a man has a mistress does not mean that he is a bad father. Maybe he is truly devoted to his children and doesn't want them to grow up without a father;
- the opinions of surrounding people. Having a certain status does not allow a person to behave the way he wants. Wrong actions can destroy the myth of his ideality, so he is alone in society, but in reality he is a completely cynical traitor to his family;
- condemnation of relatives and friends. A man may doubt how these people will perceive his departure from the family. He understands that he will most likely be convicted. And even a strong man doesn’t want to find himself without anyone’s support. He is afraid that his relatives and friends will no longer even shake hands with him, since he betrayed his family;
- family coziness, comfort. It is really convenient for them to live in excellent conditions in the circle of a loving, caring family and occasionally meet with a friend in a love nest, where great sex and pleasant emotions await him. But they will feed him at home;
- material well-being. Petty, greedy men will stick to their wife until the end, as long as she does not take away all or part of his property during a divorce. He definitely won't like it;
- falling in love with a new darling. A man can understand perfectly well that his infatuation with a new lady is fleeting. Such relationships will not last long. So why destroy what is, knowing that the infatuation with your mistress will soon pass, and your wife will always be there.
How to return your husband to your family from your mistress?
