Why a man beats a woman is a question that can be debated endlessly. A burning topic that is relevant all over the world and at all times. Every time, surprised and horrified by what is happening, you need to understand that all relationships are individual and are built by different people. Sometimes brought up differently, with different characters and temperaments.
What feelings does a man experience when he raises his hand to a woman, what is he guided by when he hits her? Does he realize the horror of what is happening, or maybe in this way the man satisfies his needs? What will a victim of violence experience towards her offender: love, hatred, and possibly aggression? How to break the vicious circle, know yourself and come to harmony with yourself? Why does a man beat his woman, raise his hand to her?
Many women give up, refuse to fight for their happy life, and are afraid of new relationships. Any situation has a cause-and-effect relationship, each stream begins its life from its source. This is how a man and a woman create relationships.
First of all, everything comes from the purity of consciousness with which they enter into a relationship, clouded or crystal clear. There are too many whys in this problem: why he hits, why he raises his hand against a woman, why she endures, why for many such behavior is considered the norm. Numerous “whys” motivated us to understand such an incredibly complex topic. And we turned to leading psychology specialist Alla Shelgunova for qualified help.
What to do if a husband beats his wife
Unfortunately, situations where a husband systematically beats his wife are not uncommon. Many people believe that this is the lot of women who have thrown in their lot with an alcoholic or drug addict, however, as practice shows, assault also occurs in quite prosperous, intelligent families. Only a very small percentage of women make the final and irrevocable decision to leave their rowdy husband. Most of them prefer to endure beatings, following the incomprehensibly invented and harmful expression “Beating means loving.”
Does anyone really think that love and beatings are synonymous?? What should women do in such cases? What decision should you make so as not to harm yourself and your children? There is no clear answer to this question. The most common reasons that encourage a man to raise his hand against a woman are: The example of parents. If your husband has watched his father beat his mother since childhood, he will consider such behavior to be the norm and practice it in his own family. Self-affirmation at the expense of the wife.
Why do some husbands beat their wives?
Aggression in the family does not come out of nowhere. It does not happen that a caring, loving father of a family suddenly changes for no reason, instantly turning into a cruel tyrant capable of raising his hand against the mother of his children.
Aggressiveness, lack of self-control, and explosive character often have a psychological basis. Psychologists talk about the existence of two types of male aggressors:
- Men are pit bulls. This type accumulates aggression gradually. The scandal begins with abuse and reproaches, grows and ends with beatings. In this case, the husband is psychologically highly dependent on his wife, but he lacks respect for her as a person. It is extremely difficult for a woman in such a relationship: she has to watch her every word, gesture and glance. The disgruntled tyrant still finds something to complain about and provokes another scandal with beatings.
- Cobra men. This type is more complex and dangerous than the first, although it is somewhat less common. The use of force occurs unexpectedly, without previous quarrels and verbal showdowns, while outwardly the man is absolutely calm. He does not feel remorse even after beating his wife.
Why is there violence? If a husband often beats his wife, it means he feels power over her. Low self-esteem and the presence of complexes push a man to demonstrate his superiority over the weak.
Nature has built into the male character the desire for self-affirmation. Each person chooses ways to increase self-esteem on his own: climb the career ladder, achieve success and recognition in sports, business, or assert himself at the expense of his wife and children, humiliating and beating them. The unrecognized genius aggressively expresses his dissatisfaction with life at home, as if proving that he, too, is worth something.
From a psychological point of view, male aggression is provoked by the following reasons:
What to do if your husband beats you: divorce or stay and try to correct the situation, each woman decides independently. There are those for whom one time, a single blow, is enough to break the relationship. Such women love and respect themselves, and are confident that once their husband has crossed the boundaries of what is permissible, he will no longer be able to stop. This means that physical violence will be repeated. Other wives live with tyrants, finding excuses and forgiving cruelty, deciding to re-educate him or meekly accepting the situation.
A psychologist's advice will help you break the vicious circle of domestic violence:
Husband beats his wife. Psychology: to endure or quit?
It is difficult to imagine the modern world without aggression. People encounter this kind of negative phenomenon almost everywhere.
The rudeness of drivers, visitors standing in line at a clinic or store, etc. is not particularly surprising.
d. Fortunately, such episodes, as a rule, are perceived as no more than ordinary situations and are quickly erased from our memory.
Family aggression is viewed completely differently.
And although women have suffered from beatings from their husbands at all times, enduring, slowly dying and not complaining about violence, today, in our enlightened age, it is simply unthinkable to allow such a thing.
Each family member, while at home, should feel completely safe, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the atmosphere that warms his home. But what if a husband beats his wife? Let's try to understand this issue. Unfortunately, violence in modern families is far from uncommon.
Why does a man let his hands go?
The idea that all representatives of the fair sex who suffer beatings from men are timid, submissive and downtrodden is not always true.
Most often, wives themselves actively participate in squabbles, making sarcastic remarks, insulting and even beating their partners. To their credit, it is worth saying that all this is happening in response to her husband’s threats. They, just like men, quickly light up and become aggressive even over trifles. Representatives of the fair sex lose their heads and turn on their husbands even more, which ultimately leads to a fight. And while men are fighting for power in their homes, women are fighting for life.
What happens to men? Why does a husband beat his wife? How do they become tyrants and who is to blame for this? There is an explanation for everything. And the origins should be sought in the past (in childhood, previous relationships, etc.). From scratch, a man does not become a tyrant and sadist.
- Childhood psychological trauma
The most common case is memories of the father’s behavior in his own family.
If your husband had the same problems with his parents as a child, the likelihood of abuse of his own family is very high. As a little boy, he watched in horror as his angry father humiliated and beat his mother. He suffered deeply from fear and injustice and swore to himself that he would never allow himself to be like his father. However, this behavior pattern is the only thing he has learned since childhood. He simply does not understand how to resolve the conflict differently, which is why he repeats his father’s actions on a subconscious level. After all, if a husband beats his mother, why can’t he also rein in his wife? If your young man comes from such a family, and he is already beginning to show signs of aggressiveness, persuade him to go to a psychologist. Explain the complexity of the situation, tell him how much you love him and how much you don’t want your child to see what he had to see.
If your spouse has a desire to keep the marriage loving and strong, he will most likely agree to your proposal. Although, unfortunately, this only works if the husband himself is burdened by his behavior and wants to change himself. Be vigilant while everything can be fixed. If he has already beaten you at least once, it will be more difficult to heal your loved one. Plus, you will need to forgive him. Can you do it?
- Alcoholism
How many families in Russia suffer from this disease!
The husband drinks and beats his wife, being insane for most of his life. Sometimes a woman begins to drown out her grief in alcohol with him, unable to find a way out and preferring to forget herself from mental and physical pain. And two drinking spouses in a family are a disaster that destroys everything in its path. Even if a woman does not drink alcohol, she still falls out of life and is completely dependent on the state of her husband. Eternal waiting - whether he will come home drunk or sober, whether he will lose his temper again or leave her alone. The psyche of alcoholics is disturbed, they are unable to control their own behavior, their actions are inadequate. Most injuries and homicides at home occur precisely at the moment of alcohol intoxication.
It is very difficult to treat such people, but if you want to save the relationship and return your husband to normal, it’s worth a try. The main thing is to try to solve this problem together. If a man does not have a sincere desire to stop drinking, then nothing will work. All advertised means to relieve alcohol addiction without the knowledge of the patient are myths and fairy tales of marketers.
Remind him of the best things that happened in your life together. Try to convince him that you need him healthy and adequate, that you and your children do not want to suffer anymore. Explain that if a husband beats and abuses his wife, all family members suffer.
If the degree of alcoholism is not too advanced, your spouse may decide to get treatment and stop drinking. If the physiological and mental dependence is so high that it becomes an instinct for him, then he would rather prefer the bottle to his family. In this case, take care of yourself and the health of your children, and stay away from the alcoholic
- Humiliated and insulted
Another example of a tyrant husband is a man with low self-esteem.
He has no luck around him, people treat him mockingly, he is not respected or appreciated by the team. Unable to satisfy their usually high ambitions, such men throw out all their negativity at home - on the closest and most loving people. Here they definitely cannot get the rebuff they deserve and, finally, rise in their own eyes. The main thing is superiority, at least over weak women and children. They need proof of their “dominance” in the house like air, because this is the only way they are worth something in their own eyes. They take revenge for insults, for disrespect, for laughing at themselves. Ordinary losers, unable to realize themselves in life, trample their loved ones into the mud. This is how they live. He is an energy vampire.
If your husband is a tyrant of this type, then immediately save yourself from him. Selfishness is incurable, promises to improve are false. You should not become a punching bag for the sake of a person who wants to increase personal self-esteem in this way. He just beat you and will continue to let his hands go.
- Darling of fate
A husband who beats his family could be someone who was very spoiled as a child.
He is used to the fact that everyone around him indulges his desires; any “I want” is the law of life for those around him. A man simply cannot comprehend why his wife does not immediately comply with all his demands and does not stand at attention when he approaches. Not getting what they want, such people can fall into uncontrollable aggression and spend a long time “punishing” loved ones for the offense they caused. Having not been accustomed to independence since childhood, they demand from their wives what they cannot do themselves. This is not only men's housework, but also solving financial and domestic issues. As a rule, they do not consider betrayal a sin at all - after all, such “wonderful people” are allowed absolutely everything! And if suddenly the wives decide to tell them what to do, then you just need to teach them a lesson and show them who’s boss in the house.
Dear women, if your husband looks like such a person, run and don’t look back. No love is worth such mental and physical pain. And if you have children, protect them from mental trauma, give them the opportunity to grow up as decent, happy people!
What to do if your husband constantly drinks and abuses
Contents Women may encounter a situation where their husband does not know how to drink, and because of this, problems begin in the family.
Because of alcohol, a husband may not only fail to fulfill his duties, but also insult his wife. Because of this behavior, more than one couple divorced, and in some cases it was possible to save the family.
It is enough to know how to behave correctly if your husband is on a drinking binge and behaves inappropriately.
Unfortunately, now women are often faced with the fact that their husband drinks and does not spend the night at home. Of course, such behavior cannot be considered normal, and the wife has to constantly be nervous if a loved one drinks alcohol all day long.
Because if he’s gone for the whole night and doesn’t make himself known, then thoughts arise about whether everything is okay with him, because he’s drunk. An alcoholic in a family can behave differently: some are able to control themselves, even going on a binge, while others drive their spouse to divorce.
What threatens the tyrant?
The legislation provides for prosecution for assault, physical and moral harm.
Depending on the circumstances of the beating, after a criminal trial, the perpetrator of the beating may be charged with:
- causing intentional minor harm to health (Article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- infliction of intentional moderate harm to health (Article 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- infliction of intentional grievous harm to health (Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- beatings (Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- torture (Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- threat of murder or causing grievous bodily harm (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
An official warning will be issued to the inadequate spouse. He will be registered and his behavior will be monitored in the future.
The court, based on the case materials, taking into account the severity of the damage and injuries caused, as well as the moral damage caused, will impose a punishment on the aggressor. It could be:
- a fine of up to 40 thousand rubles;
- compulsory community service;
- correctional work;
- arrest;
- deprivation of liberty.
Remember, changing the behavior of a husband who beats his wife is only possible if the man himself strives for this, if he understands the inadmissibility of his actions and with enormous internal work on his part. In other cases, the only way out to preserve health, a strong nervous system, and sometimes even life, is divorce.
What makes a woman stay with a man who has sadistic tendencies? And how to get out of this circle? Psychologists respond to the reader’s letter.
Losing a loved one is easy, but regaining an emotional connection or finding an equally strong new one is not the easiest task. Perhaps you shouldn’t be a hero and try to figure out a problem on your own that seems unsolvable to you. We offer you professional help from psychologists from the Center for Successful Relationships. You send us your story, and we publish it with comments from specialists. In order for us to better understand the essence of the problem, please send as detailed (of course, as appropriate for you personally) stories. And we will do everything possible to ensure that good mood, harmony and peace return to your home. The anonymity of letters is guaranteed.
We are waiting for your letters at To prevent your letter from being lost, please indicate “My story” in the subject line.
Hello, I hope for your help. And I need her. My name is Tatyana, I am 30 years old. I got married at 26. He is 31. A week before the wedding, I found a page on my computer from a dating site and read the entire correspondence. Treason upon betrayal. He answered me that it was not he who was conducting the correspondence. Yeah, brownie.
In general, it changes. Still on this dating site. I’m from another city, and when he got married, he hoped that I didn’t know anyone here, which means I’d never know anything about him.
Once I was in the hospital with a cyst. She asked to go home - she came, cleaned, cooked dinner, and pleased her husband. Although it was impossible. I went to the hospital to spend the night. At 24.00 a girl calls from his number. And he finds out with me who I am. Shock, bewilderment.
The girl turned out to be adequate. He's been playing tricks on her for a year. That he's not married. She, like anyone else, didn’t even know about her wife. She wanted to start a family...
I left him more than once and returned him. I love it and I hate it.
I also have two ectopic pregnancies. There are no pipes. It’s a diseased liver, but it’s curable, thank God.
I learn about more and more of his campaigns more and more often. Although I don’t deprive him of intimacy. I do everything, and even more.
I noticed that he even practices with ladies over 40. I cook and clean. I bring him food into the hall and take away the dishes. Running errands. On occasion he always humiliates me. Never praises. “Thank you”, “please” are completely absent. Drinks. Sometimes he hits me terribly and does not repent. Refusing sex to him when he’s drunk means I’ll stand naked on the balcony, or violence. He knows what IVF needs to be done, which requires work, money and time. I'm 31, I'm not getting any younger.
But the other day I found him on another website - and so, there he writes about relationships. Like, nothing serious, not married. I don't have children, but I would like to. Does he want to finish off something? Bring someone else who will give birth to him.
His job is good. But he doesn’t give me money. You have to ask with a scandal: where, why, and where are yours? He drinks alcohol himself and does not regret going on leftist campaigns.
We live like neighbors - bring it, go and don’t disturb. We don't talk on the phone during the day. I learned it this way. Although I would like my husband to call and ask how things are going. No never.
In their family there are only tyrants in their family. But everyone has a higher education and has achieved something. Grandfather chased grandmother, father chased mother, son chased me. He often doesn’t let me go home, so I spend the night wherever I can. I don’t want a divorce, I want to try to save the marriage or start over.
Help me, how to reason with him, where to take him so that he understands something. I don't see any gifts. He didn’t even bring a flower for betrayal.
I can't leave. I don’t respect myself anymore for this. I'm afraid to start all over again. At 31 years old. How can I leave? Rise from scratch. Survive it all. Who needs me now, spoiled? Only for mom. What to do? How to become happy? Why is everything so cruel? I'm a man.
What to do if your husband hits you?
Aggression surrounds us everywhere.
You can be rude in line, in a clinic, while driving a car, or behind a store counter. But the worst thing is when the main battlefield is the family.
A place that is considered a stronghold of safety suddenly becomes a major threat to life and health. What to do, where to look for protection if your spouse, who took an oath to protect and cherish you, no longer fulfills it? - a serious reason to think about whether your union is so strong and whether you need it.
By the way, according to statistics, men can also suffer from beatings in the family. 20% of powerful women prove that they are right by using physical force. But the majority are, of course, tyrant husbands. Does hitting you mean loving you? Every Russian woman has heard this phrase at least once and even used it to justify her husband’s behavior.
But we will look at why a wife actually allows her husband to beat her, what is the psychological basis for this behavior of a victim of violence.
We recommend reading: Is it possible to sue realtors for free?
Boundaries between men and women
Aggressive actions are primarily associated with violation of boundaries. A person often builds his own boundaries, and this is where his work on himself begins, with awareness of his boundaries. There are psychological and physical boundaries that should never be crossed.
The child must be touched with love, otherwise the parents will raise a disabled person who will not understand who loves him and who torments him in life.
Women brought up in this way perceive their man’s behavior as correct, because if she was beaten by her beloved parents, then the man, when he raises his hand to her, beats her and loves her, just like them.
Battered wives, beating husbands.
Psychology of Spousal Violence
Author: Svetlana SENENKO (New Jersey) It is immediately necessary to clarify that the tendency to solve interpersonal problems through the use of physical force is not the exclusive prerogative of men.
Surveys and observations show that approximately the same number of representatives of both sexes (about 20%) consider beating to be an acceptable means of persuasion towards their loved ones.
Nevertheless, in the overwhelming majority of cases of spousal violence, the “battering husband and battering wife” scheme is implemented. The prevalence and commonality of domestic violence is staggering and depressing.
“Pit Bulls” and “Cobras” With all the endless variety of individual character traits and life stories, beating husbands are divided into two main types, strikingly different in their behavior. The most common type (up to 80%) is “pit bulls”.
During a scandal, they gradually become inflamed, becoming more and more aggressive until the final attack on the victim - a typical reaction of an angry dog.
Advice from a psychologist on what a woman should do if her husband is an alcoholic?
Living with an alcoholic is a big burden for a woman. And this is putting it mildly, since everyone to whom this happened has a lot of problems in life and is forced to make a lot of important decisions. This prompts many wives to look for an answer to the question of how to leave an alcoholic husband.
Therefore, advice from a psychologist on what a woman should do if her husband is an alcoholic often helps her make the right decision.
Content:
Alcoholism is a disease in which a person addicted to alcohol becomes dependent on it both physically and psychologically. This attachment is so strong that it is not easy to get rid of it.
Therefore, alcoholism is a type of substance abuse that leads to the emergence of a whole complex of bad habits that negatively affect health. To get rid of it and remove the harmful effects that ethanol has caused to the body, often requires not only the desire of the patient, but also the help of doctors, including a narcologist and a psychologist.
Psychologist's comment
Sergey Zhadko, psychologist at the Center for Successful Relationships,
body therapist, training leader
Hello Tatiana. I read your story. I would like to ask you a question: why don’t you love yourself so much?
If your husband does this to you, it means you allow it. Your relationship is not love, but addiction. Based on your letter, your husband is happy with everything. And he doesn’t believe that he needs to change and develop your relationship.
Answer the question for yourself, why do you endure all this bullying and choose to live with such a person? Why are you holding on to him? Perhaps you are afraid of loneliness and a state of alienation, you are driven by fear and self-doubt, you do not believe in yourself, you do not believe that you can build a healthy relationship with another man, that you yourself can live in this world and be happy.
Your behavior is that of a victim. In fact, you have a benefit why you live with your husband who treats you this way. And the reason, first of all, is not in him, but in you.
You choose to cling to people, to become dependent on them. Most likely, your symbiotic dependent behavior was formed in childhood in relationships with your parents and significant adults. And it is associated with a violation of the basic needs for security, love and acceptance, understanding and recognition, independence, autonomy and self-development. In order to resolve this situation, you need to understand the causal mechanism of your behavior. Your main tendency is to gain “security” and escape from yourself, from your personal freedom and responsibility. Your behavior reveals a feeling of powerlessness, insignificance and secondary (hidden) gain. And it looks like you enjoy being humiliated. You are exhibiting masochistic behavior, but your husband is showing sadistic behavior, and that is why you are together. You are in painful conflict with yourself. You have tied yourself to your husband, and you need him, because it is unbearable for you to be yourself and the state of your loneliness is unbearable. And in order to overcome this state and feel safe, you abandoned yourself, your freedom and became part of another person, in your opinion, more “powerful and strong” than you. In this way, you share and attribute its power to yourself, gaining new pride and significance, receiving protection and relief from painful doubts in making decisions and responsibility for your life and its meaning.
You chose to succumb to your husband’s attitudes that you are nothing without him (perhaps such attitudes were given to you by another significant loved one). These attitudes are false. You have an inner resource that will allow you to overcome your fears and difficulties. You just need to believe in yourself and start taking concrete action. It will be difficult for you alone to escape from this situation at this stage. But in our country there are many specialists and organizations that can support you.
If you want to transform your life situation, then you need to interact with a psychologist.
I recommend that you learn to set boundaries in relationships, take responsibility for your life, take care of yourself, respect and truly love yourself. Realize your hidden motives, understand that you yourself are the reason for what happens to you. Develop self-confidence. Find your support and understand the strategy of how to act and protect yourself. Learn to overcome fear. Seek to understand and realize your personal meaning and purpose. Free yourself from the psychological cage in which you live.
Only by developing yourself, your inner strength, your individual human potential, will you find harmony, freedom, unity and integrity.
According to statistics, in every second family there is a fact of male alcoholism, and many wives do not know how to behave and what to do with their drinking husband. Some choose the path of divorce, others close their eyes and patiently endure, others call on medicine and coding for help.
To get rid of the problem as quickly as possible, you need to determine the true causes of this tendency and assess the scale of the tragedy. Alcohol attracts people because it affects the brain centers that are responsible for the production of the pleasure hormone.
A person who drinks alcohol, at best, feels more relaxed, liberated, his perception of reality changes, and self-control decreases.
In the worst case, the alcoholic turns into a domestic tyrant, insults his wife, and cases of assault are not uncommon. If you are determined to help your spouse cope with this problem and do not plan to leave him, then first let’s figure out what the main causes of alcoholism are and what to do in this situation.
Husband beats wife, what should I do?
A husband beats his wife, what should I do?
Domestic violence is an incredibly complex and painful topic. Words cannot express the pain of women experiencing violence, and not from someone stranger, but from a person close to them. Having read the article entitled: “Domestic violence: I want - I love, I want - I will kill” (ria.ru/ocherki/20131125 /979533705.html), I decided to write more deeply about the causes of domestic violence - an important and serious topic that, unfortunately, receives so little attention in the press.
We live in a completely different time, a time where women gain greater freedom and do not have to suffer and endure humiliation due to the failure of men and outdated views that still hover in society. Understand the reasons and, through awareness of them, make positive changes in your life.
“According to statistics, behind closed apartment doors in Russia, a woman dies from domestic violence every 40 minutes,” reminds Vera Kostamo.”
1We live in an era of standardized law, equality, when every woman has the right to her freedom and a happy destiny.
Victim, aggressor and rescuer
Psychology identifies such a concept as the “Karpman Triangle”. Karpman's triangle describes three psychological roles that a man and a woman occupy in such relationships: victim, aggressor or rescuer. Later, Stephen Karpman also revealed that in relationships where the woman endures and the man hits, there is a lot of aggression in the victim.
A woman suppresses her energy, tries to protect herself, defend herself, can provoke a man, but not in an open way, thus she displays passive-aggressive behavior. From time to time, a man and a woman may switch roles, perhaps without realizing that they are provoking each other.
If there are children in a relationship, they are often indicators of such a pathological relationship that serves as the impetus for parental change. They begin to signal, behave poorly in a group, get sick, study unsatisfactorily, all this serves as a signal to parents that something is wrong in the family.
The role of the rescuer is usually played by close people, parents, neighbors.
What to do if a husband beats his wife: endure it or get a divorce?
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October 07, 201724917 readsDiana Viktorova
Depositphotos/fertoDo you want to stop self-abuse once and for all?
In this article we will describe practical tips and an effective method to help eliminate domestic violence.
The current family situation, when a woman is subject to violence from her husband, must be resolved in one of the following ways: the wife can continue to endure frequent beatings or radically change her approach to life.
When a woman has made her choice and consciously goes for a divorce from her husband, who raises his hand against her, she initially needs to find the reason for her particular pattern of behavior in the family.
Otherwise, there is a high probability of repeating the same mistakes with the next partner.
If you don’t figure out why a husband beats his wife, a similar situation will definitely happen again another time.
Why does a woman endure? Maybe it's her own fault?
A woman must understand the position she is in, realize that such a relationship is unhealthy and that she also had a hand in it. Often a woman seeks stability in a man, thereby losing touch with her feelings and follows the path of least resistance.
She submits more and more to the male tyrant, loses the ability to understand herself and respect. In this case, the woman must understand that no one but herself can give her a feeling of stability. Getting out of the victim state is a very long process; in therapy, a woman takes small steps towards herself, realizes that she is an individual.
A woman who wants to correct her man must realize that she can only correct herself. You cannot continue a relationship with a person who does not want to change and accepts his aggressive behavior as the norm.
A woman should know where to go, call, tell her that she is a victim of violence. In Russia there are special centers for such cases.
You need to seek professional help immediately; if you raise a hand against a woman or hit her, you shouldn’t endure it. You need to immediately try to understand why this happened and what needs to be done to ensure that this never happens again. Of course, a qualified psychology specialist can best help you figure this out.
My husband drinks and beats me, what should I do?
A complete collection of materials on the topic: my husband drinks and hits me, what to do from experts in their field. Contents What to do if your husband hits you? Who to turn to for help if some kind of excesses and incidents are constantly happening at home, if the wild antics of the spouse follow one after another and the woman’s health is constantly under threat.
There are a number of tips and recommendations from psychologists that are worth listening to if a woman wants to get rid of domestic violence. If a husband beats and insults, then, first of all, the woman must understand that it is she who allows her husband to beat her and treats her this way.
It is her choice to be a victim due to her unwillingness to influence the situation. The psychology of family relationships, where the husband is a tyrant and the wife is a victim, is quite complex. But this does not mean at all that the husband does not love his soul mate. He probably just has a tyrannical character. Tyrants are capable of using physical violence against their spouse and even children.
How can I help my husband?
To help your husband cope with alcohol addiction, it is necessary to help him understand reality and awaken in him the desire to act to change the situation. Whatever step he takes (visiting a narcologist, coding, etc.) this will already be a great achievement, which means that all is not lost, and he wants to quit his addiction.
If your man does not want to change anything and he is completely satisfied with this lifestyle, then there are only two options - either change your attitude towards him and accept everything as it is, or leave.
What to do if a husband beats his wife
Many women suffer from domestic violence.
Husbands wave their fists, insult and humiliate not only their wives, but also their small children. At first, this is perceived as an accident - accumulated stress and other troubles, but soon this behavior becomes the “norm”, and women fall into despair. Read more about this “phenomenon” and how to prevent such behavior in our article. Some of the unfortunate wives continue to suffer and forgive their tormenting husbands even after black eyes and other injuries.
Remember the proverb: hitting means loving. They are ready to blame themselves for everything, believing that they themselves made a mistake and were unable to calm, help, and caress in time.
The wives believe the oath promises that he will never do that again. He beat, beats and will beat.
If a man has ever raised his hand to his woman, it will happen again. Their moral barrier breaks when they suddenly realize that they can hit without receiving any punishment or rebuff.
Is it worth living with an alcoholic?
Such relationships are abnormal in nature. Even if he is a “quiet drunk” who never raises a hand to you! Conflicts, quarrels, swearing...
Tension is in the air, and the wife and children live in constant fear, not knowing what will come to the alcoholic’s mind tomorrow.
Not understanding how to live with an alcoholic husband, the woman begins to take her anger out on others, looks for a way to punish her husband for antisocial behavior and gradually sinks into deep depression.
Children whose father is “friends” with vodka need serious psychological help.
They are constantly under stress. Self-doubt, aggression, pain, resentment - all these emotions rage in the child’s soul and will definitely find a way out!
It’s interesting, but men have a completely different psychology. Sacrifice is characteristic of women!
Scientists conducted a survey about hypothetical relationships with women who drink. And what do you think? Only 15% of respondents are ready to help their significant other get out of the “blue hole”!
The rest are simply not ready to commit their lives to an alcoholic! But for the fair sex the situation is completely opposite.
Look around! How many drunk, homeless-looking comrades are wandering the streets!
And many of them have wives who endure the persistent aroma of fumes, inarticulate mooing, and drunken swearing!
And children see such a miracle dad and hardly experience any emotions other than pity and disgust!
According to statistics, more than 2.5 million people die every year due to excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages!
This is a colossal number! But for some reason the number of alcoholics is not decreasing...
Domestic violence: what to do if a husband raises his hand against his wife?
There is an opinion that male assault is possible only in those families where drunkenness or drug addiction is common. However, this is far from the case.
The question “what to do if a husband beats his wife” also arises in seemingly quite intelligent families. In the end, the wife must make the decision on what to do. But a long path of development of male tyranny leads to the finale. This is far from a clear-cut question.
Each specific case has its own reasons, which, by the way, cannot justify the pathological situation when the strong beat the weak.1. The man follows the example of his parents' unhealthy relationship.
The father “taught” his wife with his fists, and this became the norm of behavior for their adult son.2. Beating your wife means asserting yourself. This is the logic of the behavior of unsuccessful men who encounter difficulties at work or do not know how to stand up for themselves in conflicts with peers.
Fighting addiction
When the problem is alcoholism, then it is important to overcome this disease in order to improve relationships. It will not be enough to say “don’t drink”; you will need to take certain measures.
A woman needs to be prepared to go through a difficult path, because the fight against addiction is difficult for everyone.
You can try to overcome cravings for alcohol at home. To do this, you first need to decompose the substances. A person should not even allow himself to drink sometimes, so as not to relapse. You need to improve your diet and use vitamins to normalize the functioning of your body.
Folk remedies can be used as a supplement, but not as the main method of treatment. Because healing decoctions can support the functioning of organs, but are not effective enough to combat addiction. Therefore, you should use medications if you want to achieve a positive result.
As a last resort, you will need to go to a clinic where you can fight your cravings for alcohol. Specialists will help a person recognize the presence of a problem, and also set them up to resist addiction. The clinic puts in IVs and prescribes medications that can help. Doctors closely monitor a person’s condition, and they will really help overcome alcoholism.
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Domestic violence is often silent about. If a husband beats his wife, she often hides it from strangers. Why? It's embarrassing and inconvenient. You can’t tell your friend about this over a cup of tea. Sometimes the closest relatives have no idea what a nightmare a woman is going through day after day, until they accidentally notice her bruises and abrasions.
What to do if your husband hits you?
Good afternoon, our dear visitors! Should a wife tolerate her husband's assault?
Should I endure my husband’s assault or should I leave him? What does the Lord expect from a woman in such cases: obedience and humbly carrying her Cross, or the woman leaving her family to save her life? The Holy Fathers teach us to take the choice of a future husband or wife very seriously.
During the wedding, it is worth paying close attention to how our chosen one or chosen one relates to God, to faith, and to church life.
It is worth taking a closer look at how our chosen ones treat their parents and ours.
Also, the holy fathers strongly advise not to rush to tie the knot, but to pray a lot and ask the Lord to either unite us in holy marriage, if we are saved while married, or take marriage or marriage away from us, if He wishes in advance it is known that our marriage will be unhappy.
Why does he drink?
There is a significant difference between a drunkard and an alcoholic. Drunkards love to have a drink and enjoy it.
But they can stop! Alcohol for them is an antidepressant, but not the meaning of their whole existence.
Alcoholics are a different matter: here physical and emotional dependence is evident. Ethanol replaces food, entertainment, joys of life!
An alcoholic’s body simply does not have time to remove alcohol - a man consumes it in such heavy doses. You look at such a person - and it seems that even instead of blood he has ethanol!
Why does my husband drink heavily?
Psychological problems . Alcohol and drugs are the easiest way to escape reality.
Alcoholism affects weak-willed men who are not used to coping with problems on their own.
Difficulties and troubles accumulate like a snowball, and an over-aged child simply cannot stand it!
Against the backdrop of depression, a man starts drinking! Alcohol-containing drinks liberate, demolish social settings, and help distract you! A feeling of lightness and permissiveness appears.
Social difficulties . A kind of hobby for people who have nothing else to do! Men who are unemployed or have lost their jobs often drink.
Among alcoholics there are also people whose professions in the past were associated with stress: rescue workers, military personnel, doctors.
. The Ministry of Health does not prohibit, but simply does not recommend drinking. And alcoholics draw a simple conclusion: that means you can drink!
And after watching enough advertising or films with brutal men, weaker people form the belief that drinking is fashionable and is the shortest path to success.
Genetics . Actually, this is the only reason that does not depend on the person himself. This inheritance is passed on to him by his parents.
Genetic alcoholism is one of the most difficult problems. If a person grew up surrounded by heavy drinkers and adopted their habits, it is difficult to cure him.
It is important to know where to go and what to do if a husband beats his wife
Beats means he loves. In real life, such female psychology does not look funny at all. What can you advise a woman whom her husband raised his hand to?
Is there a way out of this situation? Dear readers! Our articles talk about typical ways to solve legal issues, but each case is unique. If you want to find out how to solve your particular problem, please contact the online consultant form on the right or call the numbers below. It's fast and free! Where to go if your husband beat you? Something terrible happened.
The husband, in anger or drunken stupor, not only raised his hand against his wife, but beat her, humiliated her, and almost killed her.
