What to do if a guy demands sex, but a girl is afraid for fear of experiencing pain?

Fear of first sex

Every person, faced with such a problem, experiences anxiety. Not only women, but men too. I would like to tell young people that you need to have a lot of patience if the girl is dear to you and you do not want to cause her pain or any inconvenience. Try to talk to the lady, find out what exactly scares her, maybe she is not ready yet, then postpone this activity for a while. Don't put pressure on her. Much also depends on the age of your companion. The younger the lady, the more complexes and prejudices will accompany her. The main task of a man is to relax a woman as much as possible, both physically and mentally. Girls, I would like to say that this issue, of course, should be approached thoughtfully and seriously; if you are overwhelmed by a feeling of fear, ask yourself whether you want intimacy with this particular man. Sometimes it happens that the problem lies here, the girl simply does not want a particular guy, even if she has been in a relationship with him for a long time. The physiological part might not have been involved before, and she felt comfortable communicating with him and spending time. But as soon as the conversation turned to intimacy, the girl could get scared. Therefore, before you decide to have intimacy with a man, especially for the first time, think carefully about whether this is the partner with whom you want intimacy.

How to overcome the fear of first sex?

There are a certain number of recommendations that were proposed by psychologists and have already helped many girls and boys:

You need to start the fight against phobias with deep introspection in order to determine the real causes of the phobia.
There is no need to rush into losing effectiveness and it is better to wait for a partner with whom a trusting relationship will be established. Discuss contraceptive issues beforehand.
The fear of first sex can be overcome by creating a relaxing environment, for example, lighting candles, turning on music, and so on.
Read books on sexology or go to trainings.

How to prepare for first sex

As mentioned above, you should only allow intimacy with a man if you are confident in your partner. In this case, we mean both the physical and moral aspects. Also remember that you need to take care of the safety of this event. Purchase the necessary protective equipment from unwanted pregnancy and infections at the pharmacy. Answer the question to yourself, what exactly is your fear associated with, what are you afraid of most? Share this problem with a friend who already has a similar experience, she will definitely help you with advice. Talk to your man, tell him what worries you, any problems in the relationship should be resolved together, because there should be no secrets between close people, especially in the intimate sphere. If you don't trust your boyfriend, then think hard about whether you should give yourself to him at all. Men, I would like to tell you to remember that sex is not only physical satisfaction, but above all care and attention to your beloved, especially when it comes to the first time. Try to show your openness to the lady, be yourself. Remember that for a girl, first sex is a turning point in her life, and high emotional shock is a normal reaction. Your task is to win over a woman so that she can relax as much as possible with you and feel wanted, loved and needed. Give her this and then you both will succeed.

And one more thing: how to overcome the fear of first sex with a new partner?

If you are planning to have sex with a new partner for the first time, how to overcome fear is also a concern for almost everyone. And age in this case does not matter much, because each of us is a person striving for an ideal, and during an intimate meeting, relaxing, a person becomes himself, which does not always correspond to his idea of the ideal, hence the complexes.

How to overcome the fear of first sex with a new partner:

strive to be relaxed, natural, simple;
take care to relieve tension from yourself and your partner/partner - create a romantic atmosphere with candles, fruits and champagne, avoid bright lighting, think through several topics of conversation that are interesting for both;
postpone experiments with sex toys, complex positions from the Kama Sutra and the intention to make love in “difficult” places until better times (although better times should not be postponed for long either).

Just be sincere - and then everything will work out for everyone!

How not to screw up in bed?

Hello! My name is Igor Lapin, I am a professional pickup trainer. Today I will talk about how not to screw up in bed for the first time. Some men have such a complex - the fear that the first sex will not be successful or will not work out at all. Fear arises for various reasons: some believe that they have a small penis, others that they have problems with erections. It gets ridiculous and the guy is afraid he won’t quickly find where to insert it. Every second person has probably watched porn, but at the thought of real sex, some simply fall into despair, because in life everything is not the same as in the picture. First, let's take a closer look at the reasons for guys' fears and mistakes in sex.

Features of fear and its manifestation

Very often, the cause of such fear is experienced sexual failure, when a man, due to lack of erection, was unable to begin sexual intercourse.

Some physiological diseases can affect the lack of erection, but in most cases this phenomenon is associated with a psychological component. Once faced with a similar problem, a person begins to fear its repetition. And the problem tends to repeat itself, which leads to even greater fear.

If a woman did not show tact regarding her partner’s failure (she got angry, offended, or was rude), fear can take over a man so much that he stops communicating with the opposite sex altogether. Feelings of self-doubt, severe stress, memories of “shame” - all this can lead to the development of a phobia, which only a psychotherapist can cope with.

Behavioral symptoms of fear that he will not get along with a girl can be:

desire to avoid communicating with girls;
reluctance to engage in sexual relations;
avoiding conversations about intimacy.

In some cases, patients may become completely withdrawn and begin to avoid any social interaction. Such individuals become gloomy and depressed, they prefer to stay at home most of the time.

Cognitive symptoms in this case are constant thoughts about one’s inadequacy, mental anguish about the inability to lead a normal sex life, imagining oneself in situations of failure, as well as replaying scenes in one’s head regarding the consequences of an intimate “misfire.”

Fear that there will be no erection and severe tension, as a rule, lead to various unpleasant vegetative symptoms. Among them:

often headaches, pressure surges;
various respiratory disorders (feeling of suffocation, constant shortness of breath, problems with inhalation or exhalation);
constantly dizzy, general weakness; trembling in the limbs;
palpitations, pain or pressure in the chest;
sweating, fever, redness of the skin, “nervous” allergies;
frequent urination or diarrhea, abdominal cramps, frequent nausea.

Such signs often cause men to fear for their health; Sometimes patients begin to think that the lack of erection may be caused by one or another dangerous disease they have.

The main problem with this phobia is that when having sex with a girl, the man is so scared and tense that he cannot get an erection, and as a result of this overexertion, he does not get an erection. Thus a vicious circle appears.

Fear of first sex

In general, being afraid of first sex is natural for both guys and girls. A new partner, and especially the first, always causes excitement. We don’t know how a woman will behave, moreover, we don’t fully know how we will act ourselves. How can a guy not screw up the first time?

The most important thing is not to worry. This is the root of all bad sexual experiences. To get rid of unnecessary worries, you need to understand their causes and figure out how serious or insignificant they are.

I have a small penis

Many men have complexes about the size of their device. As a rule, this happens because virgins watch a lot of porn, where all the actors have huge abs. It just so happens that pornography has its own standards, but this does not mean that all women need a giant penis. On the contrary, in life, most girls are afraid of sex with those with a large penis. The fact is that the average depth of the vagina is no more than 12 centimeters. And a penis longer than 15 centimeters can cause discomfort and even pain. Of course, everyone’s body structure is different and you need to choose a partner wisely, in accordance with your height and physique. You need to accept yourself: a penis cannot be pumped up or grown. We are born the way we are and we must understand this. Another important point is that a girl’s satisfaction from sex does not depend at all on the size of your penis, but on the ability to excite her, move correctly, etc. Therefore, you should never have a complex about this.

What if I can't get it up

Erection problems can indeed occur, even among those who have never had them. And this happens precisely because of the excitement about this. Ironic, right? To keep your penis standing, you just need to not worry about it not getting erect. Of course, this is easier said than done. There are known cases when, several times with different partners, guys’ penises fell at the most inopportune moment. Some of them even began to doubt their traditional orientation, but this is a completely inadequate conclusion.

I screwed up in bed, what should I do? In such a situation, the guy has a very strong complex and it must be overcome. Some people on forums advise taking half a Viagra tablet before sex. Then, supposedly, the penis will stand in any case and after successful sex the excitement will disappear. In fact, sometimes even a pill doesn’t help with anxiety. The most practical advice is to catch yourself thinking about fear before the act, when you feel growing excitement. You need to pull yourself together and relax. This is sex with a girl, not a robbery! No one points a gun at you and threatens your life. You are here to have pleasure and give it to the lady.

Fear of a girl

Sometimes girls are too active in bed, or vice versa passive. In the first case, a man feels that he has screwed up in sex if he allowed a woman to control the process and practically did nothing himself. In the second case, you may feel that you are doing something wrong and the lady is not responding. In fact, the girl at this moment is most likely also thinking about herself. How to make an impression, cope with your fears, etc.

What if I cum too quickly

This is one of the most common fears among men. And again, don't worry. All the problems are because of this. In the end, you always feel that you are close to orgasm. And in this mechanism the same muscles work as during urination. You can stop the flow and hold back when you need to, right? It's the same in sex. The process is controllable. If you really want to show that you can hold on for a long time, then it’s quite possible to do this. But is it necessary? Do you know that many women don’t like long sex? Be yourself and put aside prejudices.

There are other tips on this matter. For example, the use of condoms and various lubricants with an anesthetic effect. Thanks to them, skin sensitivity is reduced and the possibility of prolonged sexual intercourse increases.

What to do if a guy demands sex, but a girl is afraid for fear of experiencing pain?

For a girl: to understand whether she wants sex if she puts aside the fear of pain, and whether she wants it herself, and not because of the constant dripping on her brain from the guy. If this is the case, I can reassure you: the right action plan on the part of your partner will reduce pain to a minimum. If not, tell the guy directly that you are not interested and are not going to satisfy his desires at the expense of your normal moral and physical condition.

How to ensure a painless “first time”? First, let's understand the anatomy. The bottom line is that the “hymen” is not a solid partition at the entrance of the vagina, but rather a ruffle that frames the entrance to the vagina, which can grow together in some places; during sexual intercourse they STRETCH a little, and in fact, if you handle them roughly, you get ruptures (including inside the vagina). Think for yourself: how would menstrual blood be excreted, discharge occur and, in general, the normal functioning of the genital organs? After we realized that no one is going to pierce us like a dagger, and there is no need to “tear” anything, we move on to action. If there is little natural lubricant released during the process (which is quite normal, since worries, fear and nerves will directly affect this) - use a store-bought one or a condom with a generous amount of lubricant (but it is better to buy separately, and water-based ones. They are purchased in pharmacies). By the way, yes, so that both partners are not nervous about the consequences of your actions, and of course, to protect each other from STDs (sexual diseases), be sure to use a condom, without exception. The preparatory part is complete, next you will be required to relax, and your partner will be required to be as slow and careful as you need. Focus on your feelings. If it hurts, don’t be patient; it’s better to try it in several passes. Dilute it, because sex is not just about poking a hole with a stick. Kiss, hug, give pleasant touches that will excite and relax you and help penetration. Talk, don't be shy, don't tolerate pain and everything will be fine.

Videos to help debunk myths about the hymen:

www.youtube.com

In case this is not the first time. If you had sex several times before, and all of them were painful, the essence may be in several things:

-your partner was extremely rude

-the size of your partner was very different from the size of your vagina, which caused pain until the muscles were stretched

- the presence of any disease that directly affects the condition of the vagina (I’m not a gynecologist to tell you exactly what diseases these are, but if you are experiencing problems with discharge, general comfort in everyday life, then this is always a reason to consult a doctor)

-in rare cases, the presence of the so-called vaginismus.

In the first two cases, the solution will be dialogue with your partner and increased attention to your feelings on the part of your partner. In the second two, see a doctor.

PS If sexual activity is not regular (say, once every 2-3 months), then each sexual intercourse after a break will cause discomfort, because... the muscles wean themselves from “work” and return to their normal state. This is completely normal and there is nothing wrong with it. The same actions are used as with the first sex: calmness, tenderness and lubrication.

How to overcome all fears in one way?

All of the above phobias are insignificant in nature and can be eliminated very simply - by regular sex with one girl. If you have met someone you like, then screwing up during the first sex is not scary. Talk to the lady and explain that you were worried. She is also a person and will understand you perfectly. Perhaps after you confess, your fears will immediately disappear. Now she knows that you are just worried and will not judge if something happens. If nothing worked out the first time, it will work out the next time. It's a matter of trusting each other. You need to get used to being close to a girl and then everything will go like clockwork! Tested by the personal experience of many men.

Some tips for preparation

In order not to worry about the little things, there are some recommendations for preparing for the first sex:

Don't be afraid of condoms. Put one in your pocket or next to the bed so you don't have to run around the room when the girl is already excited. It takes literally five seconds to open the package and put on the protective product.
Before sex, go to the toilet and don't drink a lot of water. The urge to go to the toilet can interfere at the most inopportune times.
Blowjob helps a lot to improve erection. If a girl agrees to oral sex, then this is a very good option.

There are no problems that cannot be overcome, with the exception of specific diseases. First sex excites both the girl and the guy. This is absolutely normal and there is no need to worry about it. The main thing is to remember that everything arises in your head and watch your emotional state so as not to screw up in bed. If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.

Look at real reviews of Igor Lapin’s pickup training:

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First sex: how to overcome fear?

All boys and girls, without exception, experience fear before their first sex. And regardless of your age, it is better to prepare in advance for your first intimate experience.

And it’s worth starting with psychological preparation. First, familiarize yourself with the basic concepts of anatomy and physiology, study the processes that occur in the body during arousal/orgasm.

Sometimes it is ignorance of your own physiology and the physiology of the opposite sex that can give rise to unreasonable fears, and having learned the mechanism of the genital organs, it will become easier for you to control yourself.

Then you should create a clear action plan in which you need to spell out all the stages - from greeting on a date to saying goodbye after sex - and highlighting the most tense moments. For example, guys are often afraid to take the first step and ask a girl out on a date/kiss for the first time/begin the first caresses.

And girls are also afraid to take the first step or respond to a guy’s first step, they are very worried about their appearance and so on. “Fear has big eyes,” so don’t run away from yourself, hiding behind your fears, but boldly go towards them.

If you are afraid to take the first step, start practicing on the street with strangers, asking them for time, route or advice.

If you are afraid of the first kiss or the first caresses, then be sure to increase the number of tactile caresses with your partner. The more you touch each other, the faster your bodies will get used to each other, and then the fear of first sex will disappear by itself.

How to overcome the fear of first sex

Sooner or later, almost every person is faced with the need to enter into an intimate relationship with a person - no matter the same sex or the opposite. But what to do if this is greatly hindered by fear? A completely unreasonable, primal fear of first sex.

Most often, it is girls who face this fear, and we will talk about them here.

Statistics show that about 40% of girls lose their virginity at the age of 15. Another 30% are aged 16-17 years. It would seem that with such statistics, what kind of fear of sex can we talk about? But this problem exists, and for some it is so serious that it poisons the rest of their lives. In general, fear of the first time is quite normal. A girl can listen to her friends’ stories about pain, read stories on the Internet - and panic.

Accordingly, one of the components of the fear of sex is the fear of pain.

Of course, all this is purely individual, but 85% of girls feel pain. She is tolerant. Although it depends on your own physiology, genetics, relaxation, pain threshold and partner. It's hard not to be afraid of pain. Here we can advise one thing - relax before sex. The main thing is to be in a cozy atmosphere and completely trust your partner.

The second component is the fear of getting pregnant or contracting some disease. It is worth noting that infections are transmitted not only through vaginal sex, as is commonly believed. With anal and oral, bacteria also enter the body and can lead to problems.

Of course, the main protection is condoms. They exist both male and female. However, before using the latter, you should consult your doctor. When using condoms, it is possible to become pregnant, less than 10%, although they were originally invented to protect against infections. If you combine several types of sex at a time, the condom must be changed.

Fear of getting pregnant is quite normal for those who are just starting to be sexually active. For older women, a good option is a spiral. For young people, the best solution would be to go to a gynecologist or psychologist. A gynecologist can prescribe hormonal contraceptives, and a psychologist can cope with fear and find the real sources of such experiences.

Another fear, or rather complex, is dissatisfaction with one’s body. According to statistics. Only 10% of living people are completely satisfied with their body. There is no need to be ashamed of your body, your parameters. The main thing is to trust the person with whom it will be the first time, and everything else is a matter of gain.

High-quality contraception, trust and relaxation, a good atmosphere, as well as a conversation with a gynecologist and psychologist either before or after will greatly facilitate the whole process, and allow you to remember what happened afterwards with a smile, and not with fear and embarrassment.

What a strange phobia

Sexual phobias are a completely abnormal thing, not typical of a healthy person, which means they can be considered a type of mental disorder, like other, more banal phobias. Fear of sex (coitophobia or sexophobia) is a psychological or physical fear of sexual intercourse or any sexual relationship. But the most common manifestation of this phobia is the fear of losing virginity, which can be, to a small extent, inherent in a large number of female representatives. Girls think: “Why are sexual relationships so difficult, why does losing your virginity hurt?” But sexophobia in its development goes much further, making any romantic and love relationships impossible, because in the head of a person who experiences fear of sex, any manifestation of feelings is immediately associated with sex itself. And it begins - I’m afraid, I’m afraid, I’m afraid... Why, exactly, should we be afraid of this?

People with sexual phobias may experience romantic feelings, but try not to have close relationships with anyone in order to avoid the possibility of intimate contacts. The result of coitophobia is a feeling of loneliness, alienation, they are also ashamed of their personal fears and become withdrawn.

Women's desire to avoid sex has long been the subject of jokes. So why should we take this very seriously? But in the case of real coitophobia, fatigue, laziness and frigidity have absolutely nothing to do with it. Only some women experience real, animal fear before having sex for the first time. And the name for this is erophobia. This phobia is based on psychological problems.

Fear of first sex

The main reason for the phobia of sex among representatives of the fair half of humanity is passed down from generation to generation and has already become overgrown with all sorts of myths. We are talking, of course, about the fear of losing virginity. This is an extremely delicate problem, which, one way or another, is familiar to any woman.

Every girl who has reached puberty and knows at least something about sex often admits to herself: “I’m afraid of first sex.” This is, of course, the fear of severe pain, which supposedly certainly accompanies the first sex. In fact, the first sexual intercourse is indeed accompanied by pain and discomfort at first. But it’s impossible to talk about the unbearable pain that will absolutely happen when a girl loses her virginity - this is a myth. It depends on the structure of the body, on the degree of relaxation, on genetics, on the pain threshold, even on the skill of the partner. So losing your virginity is not always very painful. Be that as it may, the girl focuses on this discomfort and tries not to have sex in the future and even stop talking about it. And it is extremely difficult to overcome this emerging fear; moreover, over time it develops into coitophobia.

There is another aspect of phobia before first sex. This is a kind of cult of virginity, which is customary to preserve, which cannot be suddenly lost. They believe that after one time of sex they will feel dirty and used. Therefore, no matter how much I “want”, the fear of sex often wins.

Fear of sex after childbirth

Many women have noticed that after the birth of a child, the prerogatives in life change a little and intimate relationships are replaced by caring for the baby or just relaxing. Fear of having sex sometimes arises on a psychological level, after suffering during childbirth. There are a number of recommendations given by psychologists that will help overcome this barrier.

Have a romantic evening. Buy sexy lingerie, create a relaxing environment.
Take time to relax, asking for help from grandmothers and nannies. This will help you maintain strength to communicate with your husband.
After a few months, it is recommended to take hormone tests to see if there are any irregularities.
To remove the fear of sex, fight your complexes. Work on yourself and keep in mind that your husband does not love you for your figure.
Choose a position and experts recommend giving preference to options when the woman controls the process.
If a woman is worried about a second pregnancy, it is recommended to take care of contraception.

Causes of coitophobia

There are other reasons that give rise to fear of sex.

If your first sexual experiences were unsuccessful. If the sex was rough, the girl never got pleasure, unless the partner was experienced and could not carry out defloration properly.
The most common cause of fear of sex is physical violence and sexual abuse. This is always associated with terrible stress and a feeling of humiliation. Incidents of violence often cause psychological trauma, due to which sexophobia arises.
Another important cause of coitophobia is sanctimonious upbringing, when parents describe sex as something dirty, impossible and shameful. It gets into a girl’s head that she needs to lose her virginity with her husband, with whom you will then spend your whole life, that he should be the only man. So, girls grow up thinking that sex is a threat and should be avoided. And this also affects the fear of the first time. It is noteworthy that these are the girls who often have rash first sex, afraid of losing their boyfriend. They think like this: “I’m afraid, I don’t want to lose my virginity, but I want sex, I want to have a boyfriend.”
Often girls are afraid of the consequences of sexual intercourse. Fear of unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases. Unpleasant consequences and sensations, long and difficult recovery of health, treatment. It’s easier for them not to have sex at all, it’s calmer.
Often girls are embarrassed about themselves and their bodies, and not just for the first time. Sometimes this develops into rejection and hostility of oneself and one’s characteristics. Some people are afraid to show their naked body to someone because they have an unusual breast or labia shape. But it often happens that girls have nothing wrong with their appearance. Such sexophobia must be overcome by raising self-esteem and self-respect. You need to find a guy who will help you overcome this fear, with whom you won’t be afraid to lose your virginity.
It happens that sexophobia comes from childhood and is associated specifically with childhood trauma. For example, if the father left the family and the mother drank heavily. Then the fear of sex is associated with a woman’s inability to build the correct model of the relationship between her and a man; she is afraid of a repetition of the scenario, of betrayal. This form of coitophobia and sexual deviations are very common among women from single-parent families.
Sometimes the fear of first sex can be physically justified. We are talking about a problem with the female genital organs, which cause very severe pain with every sexual intercourse. This problem should only be solved by experienced gynecologists and psychologists.

Why are girls afraid to lose their virginity?

In fact, there are a lot of reasons. I will describe the one that is more or less closer to me and my surroundings.

Parents. The pressure from parents is enormous. Especially if it is supported by simple ignorance. Where can knowledge come from if the topic of sex education has never been discussed in the family? What can we talk about if at the moment when my menstrual cycle began for the first time, they showed me how to put on a pad with the words: “It will be like this every month, it’s not scary.” Zets all. Fortunately, I knew how to use the Internet, and I had talkative “girlfriends in misfortune.”

As for pressure, yes, this cannot be avoided in my family. If the topic of sex was touched upon, it was under my grandmother’s funny word “to be friends.” With the onset of puberty in my life, I was told that I could only be “friends” with a boy after marriage. But this is only half the trouble. This same boy was supposed to be the first and the last. So, I think they veiled the meaning of the words “losing your virginity.” Yes, yes, not without religious Christian beginning/intervention.

It is thanks to this bitter experience that I can say with confidence that all this has a huge negative impact on the psyche of a teenager. The girl withdraws into herself, unconsciously begins to look asexual, sad, and at the same time lowers her eyes in fear when a sensitive topic of conversation arises in a group of guys. Nobody canceled the fact that after the first time, which, according to the girl’s considerations, should have been important for both, by the way, partners, and generally ideal, something would not work out, and the couple would simply break up. It happens. It's OK. But the girl will simply withdraw into herself: no one warned her that this happens, that there is no ideal victory without defeats and without any trial attempts at all, that the first does not mean the last. No one warned that the first time might not be what she dreamed of. Conclusion: you shouldn’t cherish your virginity like the apple of your eye. You just have to respect yourself and your body.

But I am also grateful to my family. Who knows who I would be now and what my reputation would be (the area in which I live is famous for young people who like to have fun with something that is not what little girls have fun with; any adult would goggle at such fun; and word spreads quickly and over long distances, so your reputation can be ruined in a matter of hours).

As they say, two sides of the same coin.

Coitophobia in men

It’s not just a girl who can say “I’m afraid for the first time.” And if in women the fear of sex can be associated with physical problems, then in men sexual phobias lie in psychological problems.

The cause of coitophobia can be improper upbringing in the family, when the despot mother terrorizes the child, and when he grows up, due to the fear of being absorbed, sexophobia is formed.
Often men are afraid of sexual intercourse due to the fear that nothing will work out in sex, which will lead to ridicule of his penis and humiliation. Every guy has this fear at some point, but most men can overcome it. Erophobia is especially strong if there has already been failure in sex in the past. This greatly affects a guy's self-esteem, but does not affect his desire to have sex. That is, he thinks “I want sex, but I’m afraid.”
Low self-esteem in a guy is also the cause of phobia before sex. A man may think that a woman is too good for him, too smart and beautiful, and that he is too bad for her and will not be able to satisfy her. And this “I’m afraid” spoils his entire personal life.
Another cause of coitophobia is fear of blood. A man is afraid to have sex during the menstrual cycle because of disgust. Some people consider sex during menstruation unaesthetic, while others are simply afraid of blood. Then sexual relations may be incomplete.
Fear of sex may be associated with fear of virginity. If girls are afraid of pain, then guys are afraid of the girl’s reaction to his body movements. They are afraid of causing the girl pain and discomfort, which is why sexphobia arises. So you shouldn’t twirl your finger at your temple when you hear a guy say “I’m afraid of losing my virginity,” even though losing my virginity is physically painful only for women.

Fear of sex in men

Studies have shown that representatives of the stronger sex, like women, are worried about intimacy with new partners. There are a number of reasons that cause sexphobia.

Many are afraid not to “fall face down in the dirt,” since sexual failures are the most painful for the stronger sex.
The desire to be the best causes the experience of being worse than the previous partner.
There are men whose fear of sex arises due to the small size of their dignity.
There are men who are afraid of intimacy with smart, beautiful or innocent ladies.
Representatives of the stronger sex worry about the shortcomings of their figure no less than women.
Many people are afraid of contracting an STD.

How does coitophobia manifest?

It is not always possible to notice the symptoms of a phobia with the naked eye, unless a person, of course, openly says “I’m afraid of sex.” But there are points that cannot be ignored. A clear sign is a complete rejection of sex and mentions of it, which is called erotophobia. Sexual relations bring fear to such a person, and he himself will not understand why.

Also a sign of a phobia is promiscuity, when a person is afraid to build trusting, strong relationships, but for some reason cannot cope with the desire for sex. This is intimate phobia, in which losing virginity is not scary, but building normal relationships is scary.

“I’m afraid of first sex” can be said by a person whose phobia is accompanied by excessive concern about some defect or feature of the body. Sometimes there is the influence of gymnophobia - fear of nudity and fear of the touch of other people.

Sexual phobias are accompanied by a feeling of panic, fear, and very strong horror. Physiological manifestations may include shortness of breath, trembling, rapid heart rate, and excessive sweating. People who admit “I’m afraid of losing their virginity” can often limit themselves not only in intimate relationships, but also in any contacts with people around them.

Is sex for the first time the hardest?

For each of us, everything happens for the first time at some point: the first steps and the fear of falling, the first lesson at school and the fear of answering incorrectly at the blackboard...

Any significant event in a person’s life is often accompanied by a feeling of fear, including first sex. The fear of first intimacy is not limited to girls. Many guys also feel strongly about this special moment in their lives. Each person has their own reasons for fear of first sex.

But whatever they are, any phobias deprive you of the joy of first intimacy, interfere with building relationships with the opposite sex, and therefore you need to get rid of them.

How to overcome fear

First you need to understand that losing your virginity is not always painful, just not very pleasant. Sexual relationships are an integral part of our lives, and a very pleasant one at that, so why should we voluntarily deprive ourselves of pleasure?

We must not forget about the calm and very exciting atmosphere and foreplay, which can help you lose your virginity painlessly. Sexual touching can help, but alcohol, which is often taken to calm down, has a very negative effect. And in order not to be afraid of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, you must definitely use contraceptives, and if you are for it, but your boyfriend refuses, try to convince the guy that this is very important for you.

If the fear of losing virginity is associated with psychological problems, then you need to immediately seek help from qualified specialists, because without them it is almost impossible to overcome these sexual disorders. So this is very important.

You should also take the problem very seriously if you experience pain during sex. You need to urgently consult a gynecologist, since it is impossible to independently find out the cause of the discomfort. But you need to understand that this is your common problem that needs to be solved together. And you need to remember that you will still have to lose your virginity, and losing it is not always painful.