Fear of childbirth: how to cope with anxiety

There comes a time in every woman's life when she finds out that she is pregnant for the first time. Shock, joy, awe from the feeling that a piece of you lives inside. And then a carousel of endless examinations begins to spin: tests, appointments with a gynecologist, other doctors, ultrasound and much more.

In this cycle, the expectant mother does not notice that the 36th week is already approaching, the tummy has become very rounded and everyone is starting to ask when the expected date of birth is.

And here a little confusion arises. The birth is coming soon, but the details of the birth are still unknown. But the problem is easily solved when the Internet, friends, and relatives are nearby. The Internet will tell you in all impressive detail how the entire birth process will take place and what dangers and pathologies there may be.

Friends will vie to tell you how painful, scary and unbearably long it is, not forgetting to embellish the events. And then the pregnant woman realizes that she is afraid to give birth. So afraid that everything inside shrinks with fear.

What to do if you are scared to give birth for the first time?

1. The main thing is not to panic. Calm down and think: where do the legs of this fear “grow” from? Negative experiences or stories of kind people? Think that from time immemorial all women have given birth, and more than one child, and the percentage of accidents during childbirth, thanks to modern medicine, is negligible.
2. Don't think about the bad. You need to dream about how wonderful it will be that another little family member will soon appear.
3. Avoid stories about childbirth. Many people like to embellish events and make up tall tales. And expectant mothers, thanks to their “interesting position,” are very impressionable and immediately project everything onto themselves. The only thing you need to know is to listen to your obstetrician in everything.
4. Fear of severe pain. For some, the fear of childbirth is associated with inhuman pain. Naturally, everyone's pain tolerance threshold is different. But it should be understood that nature is designed to experience only such pain that a person is able to endure. But this problem has long been solved with the help of epidural anesthesia.
5. Relax. Relax, read a good book, take a walk. Remember everything you were taught at school for young mothers: how to push and breathe correctly.
6. Select a maternity hospital. Go there, find out all the details, talk to your doctor. For some women, it is easier to keep everything under control in order to be confident in the future course of events. It wouldn’t hurt to find out: how many beds the wards are designed for, whether there is hot water everywhere, what kind of food is in the dining room, whether the child and mother will be together or separately.
7. Talk to the future dad about having a joint birth. Not everyone decides to do this. But according to the experience of many women, it is much easier to endure any difficulties together.
8. Moreover, the husband does not have to be present at the birth; he can simply be nearby during contractions. This brings future parents very close and adds tenderness to the relationship.

How to stop being afraid of giving birth

Childbirth is the most important and most important event in a woman’s life. This is a process where we fulfill our purpose - giving new life. And responsibility for this process lies entirely with us. And I believe that no one has the right to spoil this sacrament for us. No one.

Is it possible to get a haircut during pregnancy?

We understand the importance of childbirth

I simply turn off negative emotions and immerse myself in this exciting process. I do everything to make both me and the child feel as good as possible at this moment. This is stressful for both of us, but I have the power to mitigate it.

Connecting our thoughts

Our thoughts have enormous power. We can shape and control events in our own lives. Therefore, from today, believe that the birth will go well. You and the baby will be healthy and happy together. And you will remember childbirth for the rest of your life as something exciting and exciting.

For example, every time I went to give birth, I was simply sure that everything would go great. This is how it happened every time! I didn’t even allow fears or thoughts of an unfavorable outcome into my head. This is not my case. And period.

Turn on a sense of humor

This is my real lifesaver in unusual situations. And in the maternity hospital he works at full capacity. Nowhere can you find so many ways to laugh as in the maternity hospital. Well, it’s impossible to look at all this without a sense of humor.

I remember this for the rest of my life: our middle son was due to be born in a few minutes and I was taken to the delivery room, the midwife, seeing me, said: “I couldn’t wait 5 minutes - I’m drinking coffee.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or give birth.

Read funny stories about childbirth and gain optimism. Better yet, take a notebook with you to the maternity hospital and write down all the funny incidents, so that you can also post them on the Internet.

How to overcome the fear of the first birth?

1. Contact a psychologist. If the fear is similar to a phobia, when thinking about the upcoming birth, your heart beats strongly, your palms sweat, you cannot do without a psychologist. It will help you tune into an optimistic mood, remove unnecessary panic and, most importantly, find the root cause of fear.
2. If the fear of childbirth is associated with the threat of giving birth to a defective child, then you need to discuss this problem with your gynecologist. Poor heredity, a genetic disease transmitted through generations, may be a concern. Now, many genetic diseases can not only be diagnosed at an early stage, but also prevented. Most often, after talking with a doctor, many realize how groundless their fears really are.
3. Some women are terrified of childbirth due to past bad experiences. But our body is smart and next time everything will go well. A competent psychologist will quickly help you cope with this problem.
4. Sometimes representatives of the fair sex, along with the fear of childbirth, are worried about: loss of control over their body, fear of losing their husband, with the birth of a child they will not have time to do their favorite things, they will not be able to lose weight after childbirth.
5. All these fears are real and cause a lot of problems. But they are easily solved. It’s worth seeing how slender mothers walk with their babies, everyone has hobbies and favorite things to do, and a loving father and husband will never leave his family.

All women are a little afraid of the upcoming birth. Even those who are already giving birth to their third or fourth child. But all worries and fears are quickly forgotten, because a small miracle appears - your beloved son or daughter, who immediately becomes your meaning in life.

What are we afraid of during childbirth?

I want you to stop being afraid of giving birth and be calm about some things that are the norm in the maternity hospital. Let's look at what awaits you there in order:

Helpful information:

• Is it painful to give birth for the first time: the best advice

Staff

The very first thing that should not throw you off balance is the employees of this institution. Forget about how childbirth takes place in foreign clinics. Our doctors and nurses communicate with patients in an emphatically rude manner.

Bad linen

It is very difficult to contain your surprise when they give you a torn shirt for the most important event in a woman’s life. I was surprised the first time, but then I got used to it...

They also have little or no diapers, sheets and everything else. And all these things are passed down from our mothers. And they are still not very badly preserved. They sewed well in Soviet times. The color is really hard to determine. Well, after all, they boil it every time. But nothing. But sometimes you come across even without holes.

The birth process itself

Forget about an individual approach, attentiveness and politeness. They have 20 people like you per shift. And everyone needs to give birth normally. The concept of normal in maternity hospitals is very specific.

To give birth normally means quickly. One plus is that you will give birth in any case without serious consequences or death. They simply won't allow it. And they will do everything to make you give birth. How do they do it?

Children's tantrums: 5 reasons

Various drugs that speed up the process, punctures of the amniotic sac, and even pressure on the stomach during the birth itself - the child simply flies out like a bullet. I’m not scaring you - this is normal practice in modern medical institutions.

After childbirth

During this period, you should also not expect support and advice. Recovery after childbirth is a personal matter for every mother. No one will regret, support or teach. Doctors dryly check the recovery process and prepare for discharge. Establishing breastfeeding falls solely on your shoulders.

Therefore, take care in advance not to panic because you will not know what to do. Prepare informationally, study all the literature on the following topics:

• Stages of childbirth;
• First attachment and establishment of breastfeeding;
• Physical recovery after childbirth;
• Mental recovery after childbirth;
• Nutrition after childbirth;
• A newborn baby – his needs in the first days after birth.

I wrote to you all of the above so that you would be calm about the birth, what you will see or hear there.

It is useless to cry, be indignant, worry and demand. You will not change the existing order there. But you can ruin your birth. And it’s not very pleasant for the baby when the mother is stressed.

If you have the courage, give birth at home with an experienced midwife; there are additional resources - arrange with any doctor to guide your birth. Well, for those who still decided to give birth in a maternity hospital, the following advice.

How not to be afraid of pregnancy and childbirth?

“Push, mommy, push even harder!!! Okay, now breathe and relax. Well, shall we give birth at the next contraction? Are you ready? Push, push…”, the words of the doctor in the last minutes of childbirth will forever remain in your memory, because immediately after you will hear the cry of the long-awaited child, press him to your chest, and, swallowing tears, you will thank God for the happiness that he has given you.

Dear girls, my story is for those who want children, for those who are already happily expecting, and above all for those who are afraid, afraid of pregnancy, afraid of childbirth, afraid of all the consequences associated with this.

I’ll tell you a little about how afraid I was... Words can’t describe it! I was afraid of my stomach, stretch marks, excess weight, I was afraid of losing my freedom, I was afraid of changes, I was afraid that I couldn’t, that I wouldn’t cope... My fears went away that night when I saw two lines on the test, my heart was pounding, and there was only one thing in my head - I I will soon become a mother. How good I felt then, how good I feel now with my daughter.

Well, more on that later, but now I’ll tell you what rules I applied to myself during pregnancy and childbirth, so as not to be afraid, so as not to harm the little man with my fears and nerves, so that he would grow up quietly and calmly in his house.

So, here they are my “simple truths”, I hope they will help you too:

Nature is perfect.

Everything is simple - the one who created us thought about everything and everyone, and there is no need to improve anything, the main thing is not to make it worse. You will easily survive pregnancy and childbirth, just like your mother, grandmother, and billions of women on earth.

Don’t listen to people, listen to your body, it knows best...

Everyone around you will know how to behave, what to eat and what not to eat, how much to drink, how to walk, how to breathe, and so on. Before you fall into stress and panic from impending restrictions, listen to your body, it will never deceive you.

The husband is also a person.

We love them the most and sometimes we offend them the most. Men are much weaker creatures, pregnancy is just as stressful for them, so it’s time to forget reproaches and enjoy a new life together. Try to find your advantages in everything, and most importantly, even if quarrels occur, solve them, put up with a pure heart and an open soul. Then your loved one will understand you better, appreciate you more and love you even more. The relationship between two people will never be destroyed by pregnancy or a child, nausea in the morning, and fatigue in the evenings, their whims in food and changeable mood will not be destroyed, their new lifestyle and increased material expenses will not be destroyed; the relationship of two people can only be destroyed by these people. Don't be afraid to lose your loved one, don't lose yourself.

If anyone, even the healthiest person, is examined from top to bottom, then with 100% probability he will turn out to be sick.

You should not panic at every visit to the antenatal clinic and at every new analysis; everything that happens most often happens within the normal range of a person who lives in the modern world. And the doctor’s terrible words do not mean a death sentence. Modern medicine has gone far enough in its development from the Stone Age, it is able to cope with those extra 100 grams that you have gained, but it is not able to cope with a woman who is tormenting herself and everyone around her, who will worry about these 100 grams.

Don't look for illness in yourself.

Searching for and treating diseases within oneself is perhaps the most common characteristic of pregnant women. If you are so lucky and the doctor says that you are healthy, then go home with peace of mind and stop listening to your feelings and looking for dangerous symptoms in them.

Away with superstition.

The society in which we live has firmly convinced us that the health of a child and his mother is influenced not by the psychophysical state of his mother, but by how long before she informs her family and friends about her condition, how many times she cuts her hair and how many vests she buys in advance. . Why torment yourself with empty fears, no one will ever be able to harm you as much as you do yourself.

The more I know, the better I sleep.

The modern world gives us many opportunities to obtain information, use these 9 months with maximum benefit, knowledge will help you dispel your fears and strengthen confidence in a successful outcome. But carefully choose sources of information, books, articles, expert advice will help you answer your questions.

No one has ever been pregnant.

The process of childbirth is inevitable, so you shouldn’t be afraid of it, you should take it for granted.

Childbirth and everything connected with it is a natural physiological process; the likelihood that nature itself will violate its laws is extremely small. The life and health of your child depends only on you and your behavior during pregnancy and especially childbirth, which means you need to get together and do everything perfectly.

Why did I need all this? The child is not at all indifferent to the condition of his mother during pregnancy and childbirth. If a woman is calm, happy and calmly thinks about her situation and about future births, then they go easily and without complications, and the baby is born healthy.

We become mothers not when a child is born, but when we find out about our pregnancy, and from that day on we are responsible for two people. At these 9 months, your baby does not yet need baby vests and rattles, he needs you to be calm and happy, so that he too can come to this moment without fear.

Dear girls, girls and women, dear expectant mothers - DO NOT BE AFRAID OF CHILDREN AND PREGNANCY, our fears are inside, drive them away, only a calm mother can give birth to a healthy toddler! Health to you and your future children, enjoy every day - pregnancy is so wonderful!

How to behave?

Don't listen to stories or just ignore them. Focus on thoughts about the baby who is about to be born, prepare for the long-awaited and desired meeting with him, and try to help him, at least with proper breathing.

In the end, there is pain relief during childbirth, and caesarean section, which saves in the most severe cases, and is no more difficult for a woman than appendicitis surgery.

As for stories, it’s better to listen to those who have already given birth once and talk about their own, and not someone else’s, experience.

How does the birth of a child occur?

The birth process consists of 3 stages.

1 - contractions - contraction of the muscles of the uterus, which ensure the opening of the cervix and the birth of the baby. For those who give birth for the first time, such sensations are not yet familiar, but during subsequent births they are unmistakably determined. There are also false contractions, they are also accompanied by painful sensations, but unlike true ones, they do not have regularity and an increase in the severity of pain. They are also called training ones. They occur at different stages of pregnancy and remind themselves mainly in the evening, when the expectant mother is in a relaxed state. False contractions can also occur for the opposite reason, during physical exertion. In order not to confuse Braxton-Hicks (false) contractions with real ones, their frequency and duration should be recorded. They last 30–60 seconds, after which the uterus goes from a state of tone to a relaxed state. Many claim that they notice such sensations only from the second half of pregnancy, after the 20th week. There are suggestions that training contractions are needed in order to maintain the muscles of the uterus in an active state and ensure blood flow to the placenta.

The occurrence of training contractions can be provoked by:

• touching the stomach;
• physical activity (turns, squats, bends)
• frequent active movements of the baby in the womb;
• sexual activity;
• full bladder.

True contractions are weak at the beginning and are similar to menstrual pain in the lower abdomen. For some, these sensations resemble pain in the back and lower back (preliminary pain). Contractions are characterized by an increase in the frequency and strength of contractions. The first contractions last 5–10 seconds and pass after 15–20 minutes. If this happens at night, the woman may not even feel the initial contractions, because they do not cause severe discomfort. But sometimes it can be preliminary pain. This can be determined by observing the frequency of pain over several hours. If this is the case, then you should drink valerian and try to sleep. If this does not help, then you need to go to the maternity ward, since such processes are exhausting, and the body loses strength before childbirth. In the maternity hospital, doctors make prescriptions and prescribe medicated sleep and rest so that the body regains strength.

If you decide for yourself that you are having true contractions, then you should get ready to go to the maternity hospital. As long as the contractions are not too strong (about 15 minutes), you can stay at home for a while and tune in, you can even take a shower. The most important thing is to remain calm and prepare for an easy birth. For the first time, they usually go through nursing, but it also happens that the birth occurs at 37 weeks of pregnancy. Before giving birth, it is recommended to move so that everything goes faster. Of great importance, both during contractions, and during pushing, and during childbirth, is proper breathing, which helps to cope with painful sensations.

For comparison, contractions can be combined into a table:

The next period - pushing - begins after a few hours of contractions (8 - 10). Pushing is a contraction of the diaphragm, muscles of the uterus and the anterior abdominal wall. By the time the baby begins to move through the birth canal, the cervix should already be open. In order to avoid the wrong course of labor, the woman in labor must help herself with the rhythm of her breathing and push correctly. Take in as much air as possible during a contraction and push it out, directing your efforts to the perineum. During one contraction you need to push 3 times. When pressure is felt on the baby's head on the bottom of the pelvis, the pushing becomes more frequent and intensifies (every 2 - 3 minutes). Pushing requires a lot of strength and tension from a woman, and therefore it is important to listen to the doctor or obstetrician and try to properly relax and tense the internal muscles, because the quality of pushing determines how quickly it will all end and how difficult it is for the baby. It is at this moment that the baby’s head is compressed, and the child strongly feels the pressure.

3rd period – birth of a child. Lasts 30 – 60 minutes, the shortest. After the birth of the fetus, placental abruption occurs. After this, the uterus shrinks, and this is where the severe pain ends.

I'm afraid to give birth to a sick child

It is quite natural to fear giving birth to a sick child. Every mother wants to be involved in the development and upbringing of her baby, and not in treating him. However, we need to calm down here. During pregnancy, a woman is constantly examined by doctors. They already have a large arsenal of all the tools that will allow them to predict how the baby will be born.

If pathologies are observed in the fetus, then, most likely, the woman will be offered an abortion even before her baby develops any features and body traits. However, if a woman is already approaching childbirth, and doctors do not talk about possible pathologies, then her baby will be a very ordinary person.