Fear of the unknown is one of the most common fears of an adult. For example, fear of the dark is also fear of the unknown. It is impossible to see what is happening in it, and therefore you can turn on your imagination and thereby scare yourself. A dark forest is also the unknown: you don’t know what is behind the trees. The unknown of the future can often be scary. For this reason, people sometimes turn to seers in the hope of somehow calming down.
Fear of the unknown is familiar to many adults.
What it is
Many people experience fear of the unknown, which is what makes them refuse changes in life and new offers. Due to increased anxiety, which is caused by the fear of the unknown, a person loses many perspectives and suffers from his inaction. Naturally, reasonable caution is necessary, but it is simply impossible to live in eternal fear and anticipation of an unfavorable outcome; this makes life significantly more difficult. If a person constantly tries to keep everything under control, then he is in a stressful and anxious state. However, the cause of anxiety is not always related to the fact that a person is trying to control everything. Control is just an action that distracts from the state of anxiety and softens the emotional state.
Motivation for action comes from clearly defined goals and a precise plan for achieving them. Sometimes these actions are postponed, this occurs solely from not knowing how to act. Therefore, most people prefer to stay at their current level rather than take risks to achieve something greater.
Social connections
It is also important to maintain social connection as much as possible. Having someone to talk to, rather than just communicating via text, will help us maintain our social skills. Whenever possible, try to talk to friends and family, such as via video calls, rather than just written messages.
Who is subject to this fear?
In childhood, a person knows little about such a feeling as fear of the unknown. A child who does not yet know how to walk is afraid of little. This is due to the lack of questions regarding further actions. While studying at school, the child mostly enjoys life carefree. Already in high school, fear of the unknown appears, when a teenager has to think about what choice to make in order to successfully build his future.
Both at school and at university, a person has two options: he learns the lesson and gets a good grade, or he doesn’t learn and gets an unsatisfactory one.
As a person enters adulthood, a new fear of the unknown appears. It happens that a person does not know what to do next. He is constantly accompanied by the fear of making the wrong decision, because his future life may depend on this decision.
Children are rarely afraid of the future
My life is in search of certainty
In my 4th year at university, I had a business and worked with correspondence students. It was a terrible uncertainty.
I decided to find certainty and got a job at a large consulting audit company. I thought I had found my place. Good company, great team, decent salary. Everything is there to grow.
I was an auditor's assistant and saw myself as a future partner of the firm. My fate is sealed.
However, in 2008 a crisis began. Companies began to cut their budgets, and the demand for audit services fell sharply. The company was forced to lay off a third of its staff.
I saw how at one moment the eyes of the people who worked there opened. They realized that all the certainty they had been holding on to was gone.
There is a good book for understanding that life is about uncertainty: Antifragile by Nassim Taleb.
I remember one example from the book. There are two brothers: one is a taxi driver in London, and the other is pursuing a career as a banker. The one who works in the bank thinks that he is safe, but the taxi driver’s income is unstable.
But in reality, the taxi driver has more certainty.
An economic crisis or other shock can end a banker's career in an instant. At the same time, the taxi driver’s number of orders will drop by 20-30%. However, it is unlikely that all people will stop using taxis at the same time. Therefore, the work of a taxi driver is more stable.
Now think about it, if you cling to a job you hate, to unreliable partners. It is your life! You will die and you will regret. What are you holding on to?
Symptoms
Fear of the unknown can arise from any event if a person does not know how it will be resolved. An important feature that distinguishes this type of fear from others is the absence of a real factor that has a bad influence on the personality and makes one doubt oneself. For fear of the unknown, the following is monitored:
- poor appetite
- heat,
- chills,
- high blood pressure,
- absent-mindedness,
- poor quality sleep.
Pathological fear of the unknown is when a person thinks about something unknown to him and begins to fear a possible negative outcome, which is not always necessary.
Chills, one of the symptoms of a phobia
When to seek psychological help
Even without quarantine and isolation, seeking help is important for people who experience impairments to their ability to perform social and occupational functions. Dr. Lowe says it can be helpful to seek out a professional just to determine what the real situation is.
At best, there is nothing wrong with this, and you will just see for yourself. In the worst case scenario, you will know what the problem is and can make changes to improve the situation.
Meanwhile, Dr Chua said it's often difficult to notice our own negative thoughts, so watch for physical signs, paying attention to appetite, sleep, fatigue or muscle tension. These signals will help you know that something is wrong and it's time to get help.
How to overcome the fear of the unknown
The pace of life of modern man creates an unknown future. At the same time, it is important not to forget about the most important moment – “now”.
Chris Smith is a famous psychologist who was able to pinpoint how to overcome fear of the unknown. He was able to prove the effectiveness of his method by personal example.
He created four important rules that will help you overcome your phobia and normalize your emotional state.
- The “here and now” rule. Its essence lies in the fact that you need to forget everything for a while, stop, look around and realize what is happening around you. Slowly take a deep breath and exhale. It is recommended to make several such stops per day.
- Notes for every day. It is recommended to write down any important point. Even if you think you are a bad writer, you are doing it for yourself. At the end of the year it will be easier for you to take stock. Taking notes every day will give you a sense of accomplishment.
- Family and friends. Don't neglect communication with your family and close friends. This does not mean at all that you need to communicate with everyone who wants it - it is important to create your own comfort zone and spend more time with those you care about.
- Properly planned working hours are the key to success. You need to learn to say no, but you must realize that you also fall into the category of people who will be rejected. Don't be afraid of not having time to do something.
Exercises from Christophe Andre
French psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe Andre identified three exercises that can help you stop being afraid of the unknown.
- "The reporter". This exercise helps you get used to the changes happening around you. In your free time, you need to go to an unfamiliar area, explore it, take photographs and write a report, noting every detail.
- "Upside down". You will learn to love everything new and realize that any surprise can be pleasant. In the evening, write down your routine for the coming day, and when you wake up, do the opposite, monitoring your feelings.
- "Become a follower." Learn to trust people - invite your friend to create a daily routine for you, even if he includes a few items that are new to you. At the end of this day you realize that you have learned a lot and it was quite interesting.
Becoming a follower means learning to trust people
So, what can a person do to get rid of the feeling of fear of the unknown?
1. Logical analysis of the worst case scenario. When you are afraid of the unknown, you should imagine in detail each of the possible scenarios, and choose the option in which you will suffer the greatest losses. You may ask: “Why, because imagining the worst of the options in your mind will lead to increased fear?” This is not entirely true. In fact, when you clearly understand all possible outcomes, they will no longer be unknown to you, and the fear of the unknown for a given situation will be removed. In addition, most often a person’s fear of the unknown is not really justified, and therefore, knowing about the likely losses when making an important life decision, a person will discover that the consequences are not at all as catastrophic as he imagined, which will allow him to be more decisive, taking responsibility solution.
2. Break down your fear into several parts. It is much easier to overcome a small fear than a significant one. For a better understanding, pick up a broom and try to break it. That does not work? Then untie it and create 10 identical groups of rods. Now break each one in turn. Surely the rods will break easily. This broom is your fear, which you are trying to overcome “in a swoop”, the first time, without even first assessing its scale. And there is nothing surprising in the fact that you constantly fail.
Try to divide your fear into several stages and go through them one by one - like in a computer game. So, if you are afraid to jump into the water from a 30-meter height, first cover a distance of 5 meters, then 10, 15, 25 meters. Each time you overcome new heights, your fear will disappear, and you will gain confidence that you can jump into the water from 30 meters. Every person is capable of doing this, but not everyone decides to do it because of fear of the unknown (“What if I crash?!”). Believe me, even the Olympic medalists in ski jumping were also afraid of jumping, but they did not stop at anything on the way to their goal.
3. Take action! A method for the bravest. Convince yourself that your fear of the unknown is nothing more than a defensive reaction to actions you have not taken before, and no matter what, continue to act in the chosen direction. When a person acts in this way, he thereby oversteps his established beliefs in life, which hold him back on the path to success. When a person's behavior goes against his existing principles, it inevitably causes discomfort. Therefore, when a person experiences discomfort, he will determine which belief is holding him back, and can replace the established belief by repeating actions that are opposite to it.
Of course, this will require considerable willpower and character, but no one promised you that it would be easy. Step over your fear with confidence! Remember, when you make an important decision or take an action that goes against your beliefs, the longer you hesitate and procrastinate, the more the fear of the unknown consumes you, and the more difficult it is to overcome this fear later. No matter how scared you are, do what you think is right.
4. Urgently work on improving your self-esteem. Fear of the unknown can be overcome easily and confidently when a person believes in his own strength, that he is able to overcome any obstacles, even the most unexpected. To increase your self-confidence, follow these important recommendations: - Don’t be afraid to take the initiative. If the truth is not on your side, the maximum that threatens you is to be misunderstood by others. However, if your initiative is appropriate, you can get even more than you yourself could expect; - Don't be overly critical of other people.
None of us are perfect, and therefore you need to be more tolerant of other people's shortcomings. If you constantly criticize other people, it means that you admit that you yourself can be the object of criticism from others, which in turn does not have the best effect on your self-esteem; - In the morning, get up in a cheerful mood, with full confidence that you don’t have any troubles today. If you are used to getting out of bed every morning with a feeling of doom, you will have to work on this. Try meditation techniques, affirmations and visualization.
Every time you go to bed at night, tune in to a positive mood - this state will be transferred to you in the morning mood;
- Be more friendly with people and they will reciprocate. We live in the society of other people, and whether we like it or not, it is possible to maintain high self-esteem by maintaining connections with other people. Being a cold egoist, concentrating exclusively on his own desires and needs, a person will push other people away from himself, and then there can be no talk of any high self-esteem;
- Be sincere with other people, and, first of all, with yourself. If you think that your opinion deserves to be heard, feel free to say everything you think, both good and bad.
If you say only what others want to hear, they will sooner or later realize that you are deceiving them and will stop trusting your opinion;
- Do things that bring you true pleasure. When a person does what he likes, he is more likely to achieve success, and even the smallest success significantly increases a person’s self-esteem;
- Make a list of your past achievements and refer to it often. These may not be significant achievements, but you will be absolutely sure that you did everything in your power to achieve this result. When you read your achievements again, close your eyes and once again feel all the emotions.
5. Analyze the real danger of the unknown. When you are afraid of not knowing what lies ahead, ask yourself: “What am I more afraid of - suffering losses due to a wrong decision or not achieving my own goals due to my own passivity?” If your choice is the second option, then you will be able to overcome your fear of the unknown in order to achieve your desired goal. If you choose the first answer, then you should make considerable efforts to overcome your fear of the unknown. The visualization method is very suitable for this.
Close your eyes and mentally move into the future. Imagine yourself making an important decision and achieving success. At the same time, you make sure to carry out the actions for which you fear the most. When you easily and naturally cope with your fear in your thinking, it will be much easier for you to decide to make important decisions in reality. In addition, the successful development of events in a situation that worries you will be recorded on your subconscious level, and you will follow this successful model of behavior.
Don't fight uncertainty, but embrace it
I'm just like you, I'm also afraid of uncertainty. I build business systems, find reliable people, create automated sales funnels, and write scripts.
I do all this because I am afraid of uncertainty. And I succeed - thanks to this I know how much I will earn next month.
However, when I am alone with myself, I realize that no matter how hard I try to protect myself...
Life is still uncertain. The money in my wallet is just pieces of paper, and the money in my account is just numbers.
I have no illusions about my businesses. I know that anything can happen at any moment.
If your motivation is tied to finding how to get rid of uncertainty, you are looking for an external solution to your fears.
You buy books, listen to TV classes, attend classes to become more confident and hide from uncertainty. Instead of accepting uncertainty for what it is.
I also buy courses, take seminars, attend workshops, buy books.
However, at the same time, I act a lot without expecting certainty. I have no illusion that you can buy solutions to problems. You can think of solutions to problems, but they cannot be found in books.
Fear of uncertainty is a source of constant disappointment.
You buy a quick solution and results, step-by-step plans. And when it doesn't work as promised, you feel disappointed. You have even more fears. You try again to find something that will save you... And you get the same results.
