I am glad to welcome you, dear readers and subscribers! Today is a note about women's fears. They interfere with a woman’s happiness, deprive her of joy, and prohibit her from enjoying success. Why does this happen to us, and how to find a solution? After all, we all want to be happy.
Often our true desires run counter to the real situation. A woman is afraid and runs away from herself, wanting to look younger, experiencing a fear of growing old, finding refuge in dependent relationships that allow her not to look into the depths of her own soul.
Why is this happening? Why does a girl do what she doesn't want? Why is she tormented by such phobias that are generally not characteristic of men? And what is fear anyway?
Women's main fears
Fear is an unconscious part of every person’s existence; it is difficult and sometimes impossible to fight it. If we learn to control it, then it will not interfere with our lives.
Women's fears are individual, but there are also fears that most representatives of the fairer sex are susceptible to. Ladies are impressionable and emotional, they live more not with their minds, but with their hearts. Apparently, this is why the world around them influences them much more than men.
There are no people who are not afraid of something. Fear is a normal reaction of the body that tries to protect itself from danger. The more sensitive a girl is, the more fears she develops, so if a woman is afraid of something, then this is quite normal.
The most common female fears that most suffer from are the fear of losing beauty, the horror of loneliness, the fear of being rejected by a loved one, the fear of condemnation and many others.
Fear of losing beauty and youth
The fear of losing beauty is present in all self-confident and beautiful girls. Already in their youth, they begin to think about what they will look like in a few years. They regard the loss of their external attractiveness as the collapse of their life path. Women's fears are unfounded, but ladies grow over them and can no longer think about anything else.
A woman is afraid of losing her beauty and youth, so she tries with all her might to fight the passing years, spending huge sums to remove wrinkles, age spots and other external manifestations from her face.
Girls always think about preserving their beauty and youth. Panic forces them to do literally everything for their appearance - plastic surgery, beauty injections, cosmetic rejuvenation procedures.
But these fears can be overcome. You need to stop being sensitive about your age, occupy yourself with interesting things, start leading a healthy lifestyle, eliminate bad habits and think positively.
No one feels how youth is leaving, but everyone feels when it is already gone. Seneca
A woman must unconditionally accept her years in order to overcome the fear of old age. You need to understand that any age has its advantages, because the older a person is, the wiser and more experienced he is.
Fear of loneliness
It is believed that a woman's greatest fear is loneliness. Fear dictates to her that it is no good to remain alone and that she must definitely find a mate, so often girls choose the wrong men as husbands.
The position has become stronger in society that a woman can only be happy by getting married, but this is not true at all! Do you agree with me, strong and free ladies?
Women’s fears of being left alone have been actively exploited by patriarchal society for a long time, and even now these attitudes are still very firmly seated in our minds, giving rise to an inferiority complex, especially among young girls.
Millions of modern women year after year waste their energy on unsuitable partners in order to appear successful in their personal lives, and as a result they simply suffer from toxic relationships.
What are girls afraid of? After all, nowadays you can survive alone, without a man. This is much better than putting up with an unloved man next to you for years. In the modern world, when a woman has already learned to provide for herself, this trepidation has become less, but has not disappeared at all.
Women's fears are overwhelming, and loneliness can result in psychological illness. Lack of self-confidence and pushed-back self-esteem lead to self-destruction and lack of happiness.
It is possible to overcome the horror of loneliness. To do this, you need to love yourself, think well of yourself, know that every person is unique, beautiful and born for a good life. It is not at all necessary to be a beauty from the cover of a fashion magazine.
Fear of Rejection
The fear of being unworthy, in my opinion, is exclusively artificial and does not exist in nature. Of course, the demographic situation in our country plays no small role in this issue.
For example, in Cuba, where the female population is smaller than the male population, the situation is the opposite. Girls are allowed a lot, they are more playful and natural, and there the man must prove his worth.
Our civilization has turned everything upside down: women jump around men and sigh that, in some respects, they do not live up to their idols.
A woman is afraid to stop being desirable to a man. She always wants to arouse interest, surprise with her beauty, flirt, start romances. Feeling their attractiveness, any woman becomes stronger and more confident.
Fear of rejection is most often a consequence of negative experiences in relationships with significant men, starting from a very early age. Sometimes being rejected becomes so unbearably scary for a woman that she prefers to leave the relationship herself, which she may later regret.
The fear of appearing unworthy directly depends on a woman’s self-esteem. The more adequate the self-esteem, the less the girl is afraid of being rejected, because she has the right approach to building relationships and choosing a partner.
How to communicate with a girl, a woman you like
Cold and smart
Such girls almost always behave arrogantly, considering themselves competent and successful. They can look disdainfully at a young man, constantly checking him, teasing him, wanting to determine what he is like. Such a young lady is trying to understand how this guy can be useful to her.
This is a kind of “man in a skirt”, the goal of which is to break or manipulate the guy like a dog. She is used to being in charge, she likes to manipulate people. Often these ladies are referred to as “a girl with a masculine mentality.” (Read about how you can resist a manipulator in a skirt).
How should you communicate with her, what should you talk about?
Such a lady needs to be shown that the guy is already a fairly successful person who has achieved a lot in this life. He has a certain social status, thanks to which he can easily challenge her. In communication, a guy needs to show that he has no less knowledge and intelligence than his interlocutor. He is even more interesting and smart than his interlocutor.
In other words, try to force or encourage the lady to respect her interlocutor. Such a girl needs to show her strong side, which, undoubtedly, every man has, something she can truly be proud of. When communicating with a similar type, you need to show that you are somehow superior to her. (Find out 14 tips on how to meet ladies correctly)
Soulful, warm
This type is a sweet, gentle, kind woman. She is emotional, capable of being very sensual and sympathetic, although she can be unpredictable. This is an actress who can play a role from a playful girl to an eccentric fury. Often these are ladies of creative professions.
How to start communicating with a girl of this type? The creative world is important to her. That is, the girl is interested in the inner world of a man, his emotions, experiences. Therefore, she needs to show herself as real, without pretense or embellishment. It is important to show your sincerity, honesty, and depth of feelings. Also, the girl needs to be given compliments about her beauty, sincerity, and kindness.
Hot, sexy
These females love sex and pleasure. They like clubs, noise, roar, crazy music, brutal men. Often such ladies look for adventures on their own and find them. They like communication according to their interests, everything is simple here, so there is no need to focus on them.
How can a woman get rid of fears?
Women's fears are inherent in the entire beautiful half of humanity. What to do if your life is filled with them? There are options for solving the problem. You can’t keep your panic to yourself: you can share it with a friend, or you can turn to specialists.
I have collected for you simple recommendations from psychologists that will help a woman get rid of her fears.
- State clearly what you are afraid of. Describe it on a piece of paper or draw it.
- Analyze how long ago fear appeared in your life, and in what situation it arose.
- Think about the possibilities that fear brings and what positive things you can get out of this situation.
- Accept the fact that fears are contagious. Think about it, your horror is a consequence of your experience or the result of “infection” from people significant to you.
- Don't try to fight panic anymore, learn to control it.
- Study your surroundings. Think about which of your loved ones is deliberately cultivating this phobia in you and why does he need it?
- Eat right and exercise. There is no place for fear in a healthy body.
There is no need to be afraid, you need to accept yourself as you are, relax, calm down, stop worrying and look at the world with different eyes. If you can’t cope with your fear on your own, consult a psychologist. Psychological correction of fears has long proven its effectiveness.
What should you not do?
There are certain phrases and actions that can ruin any acquaintance. Just in case, they should be carefully avoided - you can never tell in advance which of the phrases that seem harmless to you will touch the nerve of a stranger.
Reference! Sometimes a stranger can be offended and set against you by things that are completely acceptable to you.
What can scare a girl away:
- First of all, when meeting people, you should avoid making contemptuous statements and insults towards people of a certain race, size, religious and political views (as well as religious teachings and ideologies). Of course, there is a possibility that your words will coincide with the girl’s views, but still, with unfamiliar people you need to take a neutral position, without touching on sensitive and taboo topics.
- A person, especially a girl, may be put off by your appearance or your manners. If you don’t take good care of yourself, are poorly and carelessly dressed, smell unpleasant, are intoxicated, don’t be surprised if a girl immediately rejects you when you try to meet her. It's ridiculous to hope that a decent girl won't notice your week-old stubble, mud on your shoes or the smell of alcohol fumes.
Important! Avoid talking too loudly, blocking her path, or approaching her from behind as if sneaking up on her. Scaring an unfamiliar girl and then trying to get acquainted with her is not the best idea. Try to overtake her by a step and only then start getting acquainted.
Pay attention to the place where you want to meet: avoid dating near garbage dumps or in dark underground passages.
You can provoke a negative reaction to your dating attempt and even scare the girl.
Swearing and swearing out loud in case of refusal is useless. Besides, it certainly won’t make you look better in her eyes or in the eyes of passers-by.
Avoid questions like:
- “Can I meet you?”
- “What are you doing in the evening?”
- “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” etc.
The point is not only the banality of such tackles, but also the fact that in this way you shift the responsibility for the development of the conversation from yourself to her. Do you think that if you are embarrassed to take initiative, she will easily meet you halfway and begin to bombard you with questions? But it’s unlikely.
Important! It is you who are primarily interested in getting to know each other, not her. You have to act as a guide, leading the conversation in the direction you need.
How not to meet a girl is explained in the video:
How I deal with women's fears
I, like most women, have fears that I have to live with: fear of losing my youth, fear of losing my health and fear for my children. Of course, I know that I need to get rid of them. After all, they are the ones who undermine peace and health, so I do everything possible to combat them.
The fear of losing youth, in fact, is no longer relevant, since I have crossed the threshold of 50 years. I began to understand perfectly well that age is just a number in a passport and I decide for myself how I will look.
I still want to be attractive. To do this, I lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right, move a lot and do not lose interest in life. Positive thinking is probably the most important thing in the fight against this phobia!
I understand that many people have a fear of losing their health at my age. For myself, I decided that I just needed to think less about it so that my fears did not become reality. I’m generally an “easy” person, I try not to think about the bad and not get overwhelmed. However, I monitor my health and undergo annual medical examinations (as part of my job).
I think it’s quite normal to be afraid for your children. It seems to me that this is inherent in any mother. But I try to worry and worry less, because my children have grown up long ago and live an independent life. For me, children are my best friends, on whom I can always rely.
In a word, I am the most ordinary person, I, like everyone else, have women’s fears, but I resolutely refuse to “coexist peacefully” with them! I accept myself for who I am, and all fears recede under the onslaught of my positivity.
Causes of fear
The fear of approaching a girl can appear in a young man’s head for various reasons. They are purely individual, since the main role in the development of a phobia is played by one’s own bad experience or someone else’s stories about it.
The most common reasons are:
- an authoritarian, domineering mother who is overly strict and suppresses the will of a small child,
- an incomplete family without a father or when the father had no authority, weak-willed and too soft, taking on the role of a woman in the house,
- lack of self-confidence due to failures in the past,
- low self-esteem, which arose in childhood or appeared for some other reason in adulthood,
- fear of women themselves,
- lack of certain knowledge to maintain a conversation, etc.
Contrary to popular belief that only young men suffer from the fear of approaching a girl, it is also difficult for mature men to overcome this fear. Previous negative experiences, such as divorce, mistrustful relationships with mothers, betrayal of a lover, difficult relationships in the family, force a man to be careful with representatives of the opposite sex.
Main conclusions
Women are very emotional and quickly react to various events in life - joys, troubles, instability in the country, so women's fears are very logical and understandable. Ladies take everything to heart, this is the reason for the instability of women's condition and various horrors.
Anxious thoughts in her head constantly force the girl to compare, tame someone, change something. She ceases to be happy, does not hear her feelings, she is tense and in this state cannot be happy.
It is important to realize that well-being depends only on your own actions, you need to calmly find the right solutions and stop being afraid of troubles. You can’t lose your composure, you just need to calmly find ways to deal with your fears.
Share in the comments how you fight your fears? Do you go to a psychologist or do you think it’s a waste of time and money? Health and happiness to everyone! With sincere respect to you, author of the online diary, Olga
