How to overcome fear and uncertainty. Nature of the concept

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Every person has at least once experienced a feeling of fear or anxiety in their life. Psychologists say that this is a normal phenomenon, but only if fear and anxiety do not arise daily and for minor reasons (going to work, unprepared lunch, fear of transport, etc.). Feelings of anxiety disrupt the normal rhythm of a person’s life, and negative emotions prevent them from enjoying life.

Why are we afraid?

Anxiety and fear are natural human emotions. In a difficult life situation, anxiety and fear help you use your physical and mental resources to the maximum, and if danger arises, they can save your life.

However, some people experience negative emotions without good reason. According to psychologists, the cause of fears lies deep in a person’s subconscious. For example, people who have experienced severe shocks or difficulties begin to fear that such a situation may repeat itself in the future.

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Some people are endowed with a weak nervous system. In any unforeseen situation, they begin to worry and worry. Pessimists are also characterized by constant anxiety and worry. They assert themselves in the correctness of their thinking. Thus, the frequency of negative experiences increases.

Where does uncertainty come from?

As a rule, the reason for the development of various psychological problems is the incorrect upbringing of parents. After all, we are not born with a ready-made set of personal qualities. All norms of behavior are formed as they grow older, and one of the main reference points for a child is his family. If prohibited techniques are used in communicating with children, this affects the immature psyche and leads to the development of a wide variety of complexes.

Questionable methods of upbringing are passed down from generation to generation, and probably every insecure person heard the following words in childhood: “Take example from Masha, she’s a good girl, not like you!”, “They don’t ask you!”, “Stupid, you will never be able to do this exercise correctly.” Casually thrown phrases, not taken seriously by mom and dad, linger forever in the child’s subconscious. Any action for him becomes associated with the risk of disappointing his parents and losing their love, as a result of which indecision becomes a constant companion of the little man and then passes with him into adulthood.

It happens that doubts about one’s own abilities come much later. In this case, the starting point can be a black streak in life, a series of failures. In principle, no one is immune from it, but how to get rid of uncertainty when one problem replaces another? In such a situation, anyone will begin to doubt their abilities and gradually lose firmness of intentions and decisiveness in actions.

Advice from a psychologist on how to overcome your fears

Psychologists say that every person is capable of overcoming negative emotions, fears and worries. The main thing is to set a goal and go towards it, putting into practice the advice of experts.

You can overcome fear and self-doubt with:

• Meditation;
• Visualizations;
• Positive thinking.

Psychologists advise writing down all your experiences on paper. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Write down your thoughts and describe everything you are afraid of. This method makes it possible to understand the reasons for the appearance of feelings of fear and anxiety.

Effective methods of psychologists to combat fears:

• Explore the cause of your worries. Do you want to get rid of feelings of anxiety and fear? Find the reason for their appearance. Think about a situation in which these negative emotions begin to overcome you. You may be afraid of speaking in front of an audience, heights, large crowds, or communicating with strangers;
• Don't hide from anxiety and fear . Don't be afraid to admit to yourself that they really exist. Awareness will help you quickly cope with negative emotions and thoughts;
• Relax . Anxiety takes a lot of strength and energy. If you are afraid or worried about something, it is important to be able to relax. To do this you can do: Breathing exercises;
• Evening or morning jogging;
• Do yoga;
• Listen to your favorite music.

Another effective way to overcome yourself is to stay busy. If a person is not busy with anything, negative experiences come to his heels. He can't relax. When negative emotions overcome you, try:

• Prepare a delicious dish;
• Clean the apartment;
• Pay attention to your significant other;
• Go to the shop;
• Play with the child.

You need to take time for fears and worries. Surely you will not be able to constantly control your own fears. Therefore, give them time: 20-30 minutes a day is enough. During this time, give your fears your full imagination. Draw the scariest pictures possible. Just experience your own emotions. Once the allotted time is complete, return to your own activities. If anxiety begins to overwhelm you during the day, simply write down these thoughts on paper, and in the allotted time, begin to worry.

Methods for getting rid of fear and uncertainty

"Phased loads"

The main idea of ​​this method is to act in stages (gradually). For example, if a person is very afraid of heights, and cannot even entertain the thought of getting on a plane, there is absolutely no need to take actions that cause very strong fear. At first, he can take a minimal step: carefully approach the sixth floor window, make sure that everything is fine and carefully look at what is there outside the window. As for you, this could be any situation, in general, any small step, because of which you would slightly go beyond your comfort zone to meet your goal.

If a person is terrified of dating, you can symbolically call a compliment to any person of the opposite sex the very first step, and an offer to go on a date with a specific person is the sixth step. You will be surprised how easy it is for you to take the sixth step after the fifth, and the fifth after the fourth. “Graded loads” make it possible to take an easy road to complex loads. Over time, you begin to easily overcome any fears and self-doubt in such moments of life that once looked insurmountable.

"Depreciation"

The fact is that some things in which we feel insecure and are simply afraid are moments in our lives to which we attach excessive importance, give them great significance. And, conversely, the lighter and more insignificant we treat these moments, the less we worry about them. For example, if you are a timid sales manager and unsure of yourself, and are worried that banner advertising for seven kopecks will hit the client’s wallet very hard, and he will think that you are being impudent, of course, you will never be able to sell nothing really significant. And if you can, it will be a significant exception.

In this aspect, there is simply no need to attach importance to money. A self-confident person can easily, as a matter of course, get a decent payment for the same service, simply because this is absolutely normal, and there is nothing special about it that could be given great importance. Getting rid of fear and uncertainty in public affairs inherently leads to a devaluation of these matters, to the fact that you relate to these matters more easily, without assigning excessive significance to what is happening. Perhaps this view will seem too practical to you. If you want groundless experiences, no one can stop you from doing so.

"Spontaneous Actions"

When, for example, we prepare a speech or remarks that we will speak in advance for an upcoming seminar at work, at this moment we “recharge” the (potentially excessive) meaning that we will attach to this situation. And as already mentioned above, the more importance you attach, the more actively you reflect, replaying the situation in your head, the more fear and self-doubt you will experience. You need to plan things. But when the plan keeps spinning around in your head over and over again, it only leads to even more anxiety.

If you have made a plan that completely satisfies you, it’s time to turn off your mind and move on to action. If in an upcoming conversation you want to express clear, specific thoughts, it is better to simply remember these thoughts without bringing it into the planned speech. Further, based on the situation, you can express these thoughts spontaneously as it goes. This will make them sound more confident. To overcome fear and overcome uncertainty, spontaneous actions are sometimes the only way out. If you have made a decision, you just need to do it, not paying attention to the “tremor” of the mind. During conscious spontaneous actions, you are focused on what you are doing now, and not on how “scary” it is. I think you have heard the following phrase more than once: “the eyes are afraid, but the hands do.”

"A real example of a brave act"

A real example has an almost magical effect on us when you observe how a confident, experienced person acts in a situation that forces you to worry. This illustrative example can easily and quickly destroy the internal barrier that forced you to experience fear and self-doubt in such situations. You just look at a real example that in this situation you can simply and easily act confidently, without any fears.

Complexes have no place here, they are simply unnecessary. It happens that people choose difficult paths, systematic career growth - step by step, year after year. And then suddenly you watch how the stupid “hillbilly” next to them suddenly overtakes them in a short period of time, only because he acts decisively and confidently, without attaching undue importance to the local hierarchy and becomes closest to the general “feeding trough”. Such a (real) example can outrage, and can teach a lot.

"Relaxation"

This method can be called physiological, since through relaxation of the body, we influence the state of mind. The more excited and anxious the mind is, the more internal tension will be displayed. The state of mind and body are interconnected. If the mind is tense, the body also becomes tense. On the contrary, by relaxing our body, we relax and calm our mind. At the same time, you can also direct your attention to calming your breathing. It will be best not at the moment of relaxation of an already tense body, but when initially, thanks to relaxation, we do not allow all kinds of tension.

"Understanding"

In fact, we are afraid to do something when we are not exactly sure that we need it. It is important to know what exactly you really want. If you have decided to invite the person you like on a date, but are experiencing fear and self-doubt, you need to analyze what exactly you are afraid of. Refusal in itself is not terrible. This is fine. Most often, the one who invites you on a date, without realizing it, is afraid of looking stupid and clumsy. The more he fears this, the more clumsy he behaves. In this case, it is better to return to the “spontaneity” method and just act. But not everything is as easy as it seems.

Sometimes the “inviter,” again, without fully realizing why he feels fear and uncertainty, is in fact simply afraid of responsibility. Maybe he is afraid of disappointing his chosen one, or on a subconscious level he predicts all sorts of problems. In such a situation, even if there are doubts, you just need to decide: either “yes” or “no”. And if “yes,” then we again return to decisive spontaneous actions. If “no”, then there is nothing to regret. The most important thing is that the decision made is conscious. Of course, you can weigh everything first, but don’t get carried away with reflection and don’t replay your fears in your head several times.

"Awareness"

This is one of the most powerful ways. Otherwise, awareness can be called knowledge or professionalism. For example, when you get a job, being an amateur in the business, you may experience uncertainty, because... you cannot know in advance whether you will cope with the given tasks. In this case, the first time of work turns into one huge continuous exam, which can turn into long-term stress. And if you know this topic and you are a professional, then why should you be afraid?

You have inner confidence in your abilities based on many years of experience. Therefore, training is often the best remedy for self-doubt. Primitive people were afraid of natural phenomena, since they did not know, even approximately, what lightning was: heavenly punishment, or an electric charge in the atmosphere. The method or method “awareness” is somewhat similar to the sixth method “understanding”. The difference is that for the “understanding” method you do not need to have a deep “professional” understanding of the situation. You just need to make a decision. The seventh method, “awareness,” most often leads to spontaneous decision-making.

"Friendly"

This method is not suitable for every situation, but it happens that it is irreplaceable. And this time we tend to experience fear, anxiety and self-doubt when we talk with some boss or other person important to us. A similar fear can be overcome quite easily with a simple friendly attitude. If you are friendly and respectful (even if you don't know the situation), the “truth” will remain on your side and you have nothing to worry about. Only a coward can offend those who (relative to the situation) are weaker than him. Psychologically, the one who supports this world will be right, and fear is not appropriate here.

"Self-Knowledge"

It happens that a person is unsure of his abilities only because he does not know himself, and his self-identification directly depends on the opinions of others. If someone likes him, he feels encouraged and his self-confidence increases. If a person is harshly criticized, self-confidence decreases sharply. All this happens as if a person does not know himself at all, who he really is, and receives this information exclusively from other people.

It must be remembered that understanding other people is also subjective. Most people often cannot understand themselves, let alone give a sober assessment to your actions. To know yourself means to accept yourself as you are. If you are not ashamed to be yourself, you are able to act without fear. When you act decisively, knowing yourself, you simply express yourself sincerely, as you are. However, everything has its time and place.

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How to overcome fear with meditation

It is natural to be afraid of something. But negative emotions can and should be fought. To overcome panic fear, two types of meditation are used:

• Affirmation;
• Working with the body and subconscious.

Method of meditation - affirmation

Emerging beliefs in thoughts can be overcome with the help of affirmations. They allow you to replace standard anxious thinking with self-hypnosis. Thanks to this method, it is possible to completely replace the feeling of fear and anxiety with a feeling of confidence.

Remember that affirmations only work if repeated regularly.

In this way, the standard paradigms of brain perception are replaced by others. For them to work effectively, you need to repeat them in the first person:

• I'm not scared;
• I am not afraid of anything;
• You will not defeat me;
• My mind is stronger than fears and worries.

For affirmations to work effectively, fear must be fully felt by every part of the body, every hair. When you are in this state, start repeating one of the above affirmations or come up with your own. The duration of one procedure is until you believe it. If fear comes again, immerse yourself in this state again.

Method of meditation - working with the body and subconscious

The meditation method “working with the body and subconscious” works effectively in the fight against fear and negative emotions when performed regularly. Over time, you will achieve incredible results. This type of meditation is used by professional UFC fighters. It allows you to see your fear, overcome yourself and enter the ring.

To do the exercise:

• Sit down. Straighten your back. Close your eyes. Feel the warmth of your body;
• Feel the number of fingers and toes. You don’t need to move them, just feel their presence;
• Stop your thoughts. Don't think about anything. Don't open your eyes;
• Imagine that you are near a cave. The space of the cave is your fear. Enter it;
• You notice writing on a distant wall. The reason for your fear is described there. You move closer to the wall to get a better look;
• Warmth appears inside your body. It spreads throughout the body to the palms and soles. Feel this warmth. Now it turns into fire. The body is burning, indicating that fear has taken over you;
• Anxiety and negative thoughts try to overcome you, but you resist. You turn your head to the side and notice another wall with writing on it. It lists your character strengths;

• Open your eyes. Now you know that your fear is your most powerful weapon. Now you are free and open to new beginnings and acquaintances. You are not afraid of anything and can cope with any fear.

At the moment of reading, fear is transformed into energy, and the body is filled with strength. This kind of power makes you a warrior who is capable of destroying everything in his path.

How to overcome fear with visualization

Visualization is one of the relaxation techniques in which you can imagine pleasant scenes and dreams. Two effective visualization methods in the fight against anxiety and fear:

• Imagine yourself overcoming your fear. Transfer the experience gained to real life and achieve success.
• Imagine calming scenarios and pictures in anxious situations.

Visualization is a powerful weapon against anxiety and fear. The brain often compares imagination with real life. Do you want to overcome fear? Think about success and imagine it. But imagine real pictures, as if this is all happening in real life.

An example of dealing with fear using visualization: you are afraid to give a report in front of a large audience. Do not try to think that your speech will cause delight and numerous applause. Surely you will get a good report, but it is unlikely to arouse strong audience sympathy. Imagine that everything is going as it should for you. Imagine your calmness, your composure in front of many people. You are calm and your pulse is not increased. You answer questions confidently and speak without hesitation.

This visualization of a frightening situation will help you overcome fears and negative emotions, transforming them in your imagination.

How to decide on a career choice. Conflicting answers to pressing questions about choosing a profession

Read: 5 min.
We constantly answer questions about choosing a profession: in personal conversations with schoolchildren and parents, at the Reflection Center, at trainings and in professional camps. Therefore, we decided to write a long article where we will collect interesting thoughts about choosing a profession and education. In it you will find extraordinary recommendations and practical advice for independent career guidance. How to choose the right profession? How to choose a specialty after 9th and 11th grade? Is there a division of professions into those for girls and those for young men? How to choose a profession according to demand? Do tests help in choosing a profession or is a soulless machine still unable to understand the depths of the human soul? Professional experts answer your questions:

Positive thinking versus fear

Thoughts are part of reality. What is our thinking, in what colors do we present it, such is the picture of our world. We are artists who can paint our lives. To overcome your fear of life, change your thoughts.

Finding the good in every situation in life will help you tune in to positive thinking. Whatever happens in your life, always ask the question: “What can be good about this?” Repeat until you can answer it.

Smile and laugh. Negative feelings and anxiety are perfectly treated with humor. Watch humorous programs, comedies, read jokes, find funny videos on the Internet. Laugh, relieve stress and forget about worries, at least for a short time.

How to overcome fear in an emergency?

Any threat creates a psychological source of tension. The main thing in an emergency situation is to remain calm and have a certain composure that allows you to think rationally.

In emergency situations, human behavior is divided into two categories:

• Rational. With complete control of your mental state and management of your own emotions. Such behavior consists of following precise orders and instructions;
• Irrational. People with such behavior become dangerous to society. Because of such people, the number of victims increases. In an emergency situation, people go into shock. The main cause of shock retardation is panic, which is expressed in involuntary flight. In this case, people are guided by consciousness, which was characteristic of primitive people.

To overcome fear in an emergency, you need to know what to do. To do this you need to train. Today's exercises, which show how to act in an emergency situation, are useful not only for professionals, but also for ordinary people. For example, in Japan, children are taught how to behave during an earthquake. Such skills can save many lives.

Basic emergency action tips that can save lives:

• Don't panic;
• Carefully assess the situation around you;
• Control yourself;
• Be decisive and firm, losing heart now is not the best time;
• Make a decision and look for a way out. Was the attempt unsuccessful? Repeat it again;
• Don't give up until your last breath;
• Remember, help is at hand.

Based on the above, we can conclude that fear in an emergency situation is unacceptable. In most cases, it is its absence that allows you to save your own life. Be more attentive to yourself and the world around you.

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The best

People are born with a different set of psychological qualities and properties. There are those among us who, from early childhood, strive to be the best, the best. First, the best son or daughter, the best student in the class. And then - the best husband or wife, the best father or mother, the best and most qualified professional in his field. People with the anal vector are endowed with such a natural desire for perfection.

The opinions of others are really very important for such a person. He does not make decisions without consulting competent people. For example, to solve the question: how to overcome self-doubt, he will seek advice from a psychologist. And not just any one, but a respected one, who is recommended by worthy people. The fact is that confidence and determination are generally not characteristic of such a person. So, should we remain an insecure “mumbler” somewhere on the sidelines of life? Or somehow work on self-esteem?

Modern false attitudes whisper from everywhere: until you respect yourself, others will not respect you. Following this, a person looks for ways to increase self-esteem. But this false path leads even further from the goal, because in fact we want “feedback” from other people, and not at all from ourselves.

Nature cannot be fooled. The owner of the anal vector not only wants, but is actually able to receive the desired respect and honor from others. This happens when he fully realizes the talents given by nature. There are many of them: thoroughness and attention to detail, phenomenal memory, “golden hands”, caring and desire for cleanliness, loyalty and devotion.

Moreover, for men the priority is social fulfillment. They can be excellent craftsmen, teachers, analysts or critics, scientists. But a woman with an anal vector, even with the level of a Nobel laureate, will not be able to feel fulfilled if she is not fulfilled in marriage.

Nature gives us all the necessary qualities to realize our desires and aspirations: to truly become the best in the family and at work and hear real confirmation of this from others. Why doesn't it always work out?

Various psychological traumas and anchors can interfere. And also the bad experience that such a person literally relies on, making it a shaky foundation for his whole life. In this case, the phenomenal memory is not directed towards a useful task, but into an endless “scrolling” of the traumatic situation. Hurtful remarks hurt and are remembered for a long time. One single moment of unsuccessful speech will hinder the ability to speak in public for many years. And “getting stuck” on bad experiences in a couple relationship deprives you of the ability to build a happy family.

You can understand in detail how to overcome self-doubt and what prevents this in your case in the “System-vector psychology” training. Thanks to him, many people have already breathed a sigh of relief and are living happy, fulfilled lives. Without offense or doubt about your worth, but with constant recognition of your real merits.

The need for respect and positive evaluation from others is not the only reason for self-doubt. How to overcome your own “complexity” if you are overwhelmed by real fear? When your palms sweat and you can’t open your mouth to express yourself somehow. And in my soul there is a feeling that if you stand out from the crowd in any way, you will simply... be devoured!

This phenomenon also has deep psychological reasons.

Fear as it is

To successfully cope with fear, let's figure out where it comes from and why we experience it. The root emotion of humanity is the fear of death. Initially, it arose in people with a visual vector - especially emotional, impressionable. To this day, such people have the widest emotional range. Their mood can change in a split second.

Our emotions are instantly reflected in our smells. When a person experiences fear, his body odor changes. Through pheromones, we involuntarily “signal” about our condition to everyone around us.

In ancient times, such a mental mechanism saved lives. The smell of fear that the spectator conveyed to everyone else allowed people to escape in time and hide from the predator. But today being in fear is dangerous for the owner of such properties.

Do not wake the beast in me!

Our body is of animal nature. Those people who are not experiencing the best conditions (resentment, irritation, hostility towards others) unconsciously react to the smell of fear. The less culturally developed they are (that is, the less able they are to limit their hostility), the greater the chance that the smell of fear will provoke them to release aggression.

In such a situation, the viewer falls into the role of the victim. For example, he becomes the object of evil ridicule, humiliation, and insults. And sometimes physical violence. So, in this sense, uncertainty and the desire to sit somewhere in the corner are completely justified. As long as we are controlled by fear, it is impossible for us to feel inner comfort.

But it’s impossible to consciously control yourself! Any meditations and self-persuasions here are simply ridiculous. How to overcome fear and uncertainty when your heart is pounding, your tongue is tangled, it’s unclear where to put your arms and legs?