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The whole world is increasingly immersed in virtual reality; people communicate with each other through messages on the Internet and by phone. Live communication is gradually decreasing, which alienates people from each other; this trend is transmitted from parents to children. Growing children do not have communication skills and cannot speak correctly, which in the future significantly complicates their lives. Speech skills are laid and developed in the family if older family members themselves know how to talk with people. If adults do not know how to do this, then they themselves will first have to learn how to communicate correctly in order to pass on the appropriate knowledge to children.
Basic rules for communicating with other people
The exchange of information between people must comply with generally accepted norms. If the interlocutor deliberately violates them, he risks experiencing all the delights of isolation, hostility, and often overt aggression on the part of his opponent. Psychology will teach you how to properly talk with people on any topic.
The basic rules of communication are the same for any team - they apply at work, at a party or social event.
Eye contact
If a person does not look the interlocutor in the eyes and constantly looks away, a feeling of awkwardness arises. In such an environment, it is difficult to establish trusting relationships; a friend or boss will think that he is being deceived.
You definitely need to look at the person with whom you are communicating. To prevent your gaze from being too intent and intrusive, you need to periodically look away, focusing on surrounding objects.
Parasitic words that do not carry any semantic load
Unnecessary interjections, prepositions, and slang phrases are often present in our speech, taking up more and more space in it. There is advice in the psychology of communication: excessive use of such phrases contributes to losing the thread of the conversation. To be understandable to others, you need to diversify your speech as much as possible, use more specifics in each sentence, supporting it with facial expressions.
Pertinent Questions
To make the conversation lively and interesting, you should express your sincere interest in the information that the interlocutor conveys. Here you need to maintain a golden mean. If you ask too many clarifying questions, the dialogue turns into a monologue and becomes like an interrogation. If you don’t ask about anything, the interlocutor will get the feeling that his story is uninteresting. Psychologists recommend not jumping to other topics, voicing questions in a soft and correct form, without interrupting the speaker. You should not touch on personal topics, they can touch a nerve or bring back unpleasant memories. Communication in psychology should be two-way.
Answers on questions
Any communication is impossible without interlocutors asking each other questions. But if one only asks, a friendly conversation will turn into a banal interview. You need to take an active part in the dialogue, but not interrupt the other person. A detailed answer will relieve tension and set you up for positivity. The ability to communicate with people in psychology is a fine tune on the same wavelength.
No sense of humor
If a person does not smile, his lips are tightly compressed, and his eyes carefully study his opponent, a confidential conversation will not work. Even if he initially wants to appear simply serious, from the outside his facial expression looks gloomy and even angry. A light smile and relaxed facial muscles promote full contact. And if there is a reason, you can laugh sincerely and contagiously, relieving unnecessary tension. The psychology of communication is an art that you need to learn throughout your life.
Extra items are a hindrance to conversation
If during a conversation a person twirls a lock of hair around his finger or is distracted by a pen, pencil or keys, this is very “stressful”. It may seem to the interlocutor that his words are uninteresting and useless. The dialogue will be short, crumpled and uninformative. The concept of communication in psychology is important knowledge that will never be superfluous.
Down with long pauses when talking
If you are often silent during a dialogue, it will never become interesting. The permissible pause duration is no more than 10-15 seconds. After this time, you need to nod, smile or answer the question. Silence is truly golden, but not in this case.
So that people are drawn to you
- Respect for “one’s own kind.”
- The ability to listen and give sound advice.
- Constantly improving yourself (partly will help you gain authority).
- Help those in need.
Conclusion
You must become a person of a society that needs you and cannot imagine its existence without your help!
How to communicate with “difficult” people?
Each of us at least once in our lives communicated with a person who radiated negativity. Such a person is constantly dissatisfied with something, expresses criticism of others, reacts aggressively to any comments and attempts to establish trusting contact. The aggressor is not always to blame for this; perhaps this is only a projection of his dissatisfaction and failures personally and professionally onto other people. Psychology will tell you how to learn to communicate with such people.
It is easiest to succumb to provocations. But there is always a chance to turn the conversation in a completely different direction, setting even such an interlocutor to a positive attitude. There are several techniques that can disarm anyone:
- sincere interest in his affairs;
- smile;
- calm;
- understanding.
If you are not sociable or not sociable
If such a natural anomaly occurs, then you should not be upset.
- Do your job silently (according to the points listed above).
- Speak to the point, more like “speak your mind.”
- Study the weaknesses and strengths of the people around you.
- Use the information received for your own purposes.
Conclusion
When you study people, collect the necessary data about them, your “unsociability” will simply disappear, because you will have information about the people with whom you will begin progressive communication.
How to avoid communication problems?
Many people from early childhood have the ability to establish contact with others and win them over. But not everyone is given this gift from birth. Some people need to learn the art of effective dialogue over a long period of time.
Combating social anxiety is the key to success
Due to personal characteristics, some people deliberately avoid communication and most of the time they remain in voluntary isolation from others. You can get rid of this insidious condition if you constantly work on yourself.
There are several reasons why people are afraid to come into contact with unfamiliar individuals. Among them are:
- lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem - a social phobe doubts his own beauty, correctness, and speech literacy;
- lack of communication experience - may occur against the background of prolonged loneliness;
- negative experience in the past - mistakes in education, negative attitude of teachers at school who suppressed any initiative.
You should always start with the reason that caused communication problems. Eliminating groundless fears, increasing self-esteem, and expanding the circle of contacts has a beneficial effect on a person’s communication abilities, regardless of his age. Studying the basics of the psychology of conversation allows you to feel free from conventions and prejudices.
It is important to realize that there is an intrapersonal conflict that needs to be resolved. The subconscious itself will tell you how to act in this case. The help of a professional psychologist guarantees quick results. Correct communication with people in psychology is a sincere desire to develop in terms of communication, feel others and be positive.
IMPORTANT! Informational article! Before use, you should consult a specialist.
Highlight a specific difficulty
- It is important to understand and formulate the specific problem that needs to be solved.
- Any work is effective when it has a clear goal, and working with a psychologist is no exception.
- A psychologist will help you by asking clarifying questions and sharing his vision of your situation.
The description of the difficulty can also be expressed in general words: “everything is bad,” “there is no joy in life,” “I have apathy,” and the like. During the conversation, the psychologist will help clarify what this condition is associated with, find its causes and work through them.
Oksana Barkova, psychotherapist, Gestalt psychologist:
“A 32-year-old woman came for a consultation, her name is Veronica, unmarried, successful in her career. The complaints were related to the fact that I felt somehow bad, I didn’t want anything, complete indifference, no joy, woke up with difficulty, felt like I was on autopilot all day, lethargy and lethargy. I wanted it to become better, easier, to have joy as before.
Veronica talks, even more, in a flat, colorless voice, as if she were talking about some other person, and not about herself, sighs, looks somewhere to the side, sits on the edge of the sofa. There is a painful feeling in the office, as if life has ended.
I ask questions to clarify when it started, what she attributes her condition and reluctance to live to. We reach out to traumatic situations, deeply hidden, suppressed experiences and thoughts. Veronica ended the first meeting with a feeling of relief and hope. After three months of working together, Veronica was more clearly aware of her desires and needs, understood what was associated with the ups and downs of her mood, and could better regulate her mood. I managed to work through the pain, sadness, and melancholy that were a “weight” on my heart, which freed up a significant amount of energy for joy and new interests. We continue to work because we have new goals and objectives in life that we want to achieve.”
Destroy false expectations
In the case of a shopaholic wife, your refusal, of course, can cause resentment. But don't worry. This is just a reaction to the fact that your spouse will not get what she wants from you. Remember one thing: if someone has a feeling of resentment towards you, this does not mean at all that you did something wrong, you simply did not live up to the expectations placed on you. But expectations may not always work in your favor. Therefore, if someone expects something from you, these are that person’s problems, but not yours. You are absolutely not obliged to bear responsibility for them.
In the end, some women do not know how to stop in time and say “no” to their beloved when it comes to buying the next new thing or a high-calorie piece of cake.
Article information
This article was co-authored by. Paul Cherniak is a licensed psychotherapist in Chicago. Graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
Categories: Personal Development
In other languages:
English: Mingle With People, Italiano: Socializzare con la Gente, Español: relacionarte con las personas, Français: vous mêler aux autres, Português: Conviver com Pessoas, Deutsch: Sich unter die Leute mischen, 中文: 开拓交际圈, Bahasa Indonesia: Membaur di Tengah Orang Banyak, Tiếng Việt: Hòa nhập với Mọi người, 한국어: 사람들과 어울리는 방법, العربية: الاخ تلاط بالناس, Nederlands: Je onder mensen begeven
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If these people annoy you
If you feel hostility towards the society you have “infiltrated”, leave that society alone from your presence in it!
If you are forced to be in such a group, you will have to be patient for some time and study it thoroughly.
- Listen to people and analyze.
- Remember their strengths and weaknesses (analyze).
- Use it for your own purposes.
It is possible that you will still need it when you learn to manage it for your own benefit or pleasure.
Your friend doesn't return your things and forgets that he owes you money.
Some people are faced with a situation where acquaintances or friends borrow money, but are in no hurry to pay it back. And if you suddenly ask for your money back, they begin to come up with excuses and present themselves as an unhappy person.
At such moments, for unknown reasons, you begin to feel responsible for someone else's life.
A person has already been offended by fate, and you also take money from him. In the end, you become very ashamed of yourself and you suggest to your friend not to repay the debt to you, he needs it more!
