How to communicate with men correctly - psychology. Secrets of communicating with men

Relationships between men and women have always been very complex, because it is quite difficult for completely different people to find a common language. And no one will argue with the fact that male and female psyches differ. It’s not for nothing that today there are so many jokes dedicated to mutual understanding of the sexes. Why go far - take at least phrases about women's logic or men's habits (for example, lying on the sofa with a beer in hand, while the wife fusses around, doing a lot of household chores). In this article I would like to talk about how to communicate correctly with a man: what you need to do to be heard, and what mistakes are best avoided when communicating with members of the opposite sex.

The main rule

It is worth saying that a great deal of advice can be given on this topic. Meanwhile, you can not reinvent the wheel, but find out all the important information, so to speak, from the primary source. Yes, yes, the guy himself can tell you how to communicate correctly with a man. You just need to ask him about it. After all, there are so many people, so many opinions, which means there is no universal “recipe”. But there is one thing: you can do this only if the relationship with this person is already very strong and trusting. At the very first stages of dating, it is not recommended to ask such questions; it is better to follow the general rules of decency when communicating. But when the relationship reaches a certain stage, you should always speak openly and directly with your lover so as not to do something that he doesn’t like or that irritates him. By the way, a young man should do the same.

How to learn to communicate with men when dating?

It often happens that a woman does not experience any problems when communicating with men, but gets lost the moment she meets a handsome representative of the stronger sex. For example, he may start chatting incessantly and constantly giggle, or be overly rude, cynical, and harsh.

This is a manifestation of excitement. An adult, intelligent and experienced man understands perfectly well that such behavior is generally unusual for a girl, and simply waits it out. But not all men at the moment of meeting are ready to think about whether a woman is really so eccentric or not. And many of them are not at all confident in their own irresistibility, and therefore cannot imagine that they are causing excitement and confusion.

What to do? How can you cope with yourself and not do something stupid? You need to talk less and listen more. You should ask questions, not “read monologues.” But of course, when you ask about something, you need to listen carefully to the answer. It is also important not to abuse alcohol. Alcohol is liberating, but it also contributes to a loss of control.

The only difficulty that actually arises when communicating at the initial stage is your own anxiety. This is what needs to be dealt with. There are no templates for how to conduct a conversation.

Banal politeness

So, how to communicate with a man correctly? First of all, we note that no one has yet canceled politeness. Guys are the same people, and they also require good treatment. Don’t forget to tell them “thank you”, “please”, etc. All requests and comments must be correct. A special category of issue is quarrels. Anything can happen, and the intensity of passions is guaranteed here (where would we be without this?), However, in moments of a showdown, there is no need to pour all the dirt on the guy, then you will regret it. Remember mutual respect and rules of decency (even if this can be quite difficult).

Requests

Young ladies who are interested in how to properly communicate with a man will find the following recommendation useful: you need to know how to formulate your requests to him. So, guys don’t like arrogant and narcissistic people who believe that the whole world revolves around them. All requests must again be based on courtesy. Forget about the commanding tone - he is not a servant or an errand boy. Remember about male pride - not a single normal “man” will tolerate having his feet wiped on him. A woman's most powerful weapon is her weakness. A helpless look, self-doubt, a timid question: “Could you (could you)…?” - will do their job. And the representative of the strong half of humanity already feels like a superhero...

Topics for conversation

Many girls ask the question: “How to communicate with a man so that he always has interest?” The answer is indecently simple: be interesting to him. To do this, you need to read a lot and develop in different industries. Gone are the days when an intelligent woman was considered a black sheep. Today, a lady simply needs to be educated, because a modern man is in dire need of a highly intelligent life partner. Thus, in order to be able to hold the attention of representatives of the opposite sex for a long time, you will have to try hard. However, you shouldn’t “shine with your mind” at every opportunity; it’s best to just be able to competently carry on a conversation. If knowledge in a particular area is very weak, absent, or based on rumors, it is better to keep quiet so as not to say outright nonsense and not make yourself look stupid. But there is one thing: some guys are simply afraid of smart girls, because they themselves are not very developed. Therefore, in this way you can not only tie a young man to you, but also scare him away. What to do? Take a closer look at the object of your sympathy, listen to his speech, pay attention to his manners. All these little things can tell a lot.

Dating as an art

How to meet a man? And how to behave so that he definitely asks you out on a date? What should you do if the man you like immediately offers sex at the first meeting? I answer your questions, my beautiful ones! I’ll tell you where to start dating, how to attract a man’s attention and how to correctly give your phone number.

Dating doesn’t start with coffee
Girls, the first steps to meeting a man need to start with yourself. What is your marriage rating? Let me remind you that it consists of physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual and energy ratings combined. It is important for girls to constantly improve all these areas. If, of course, you want to be a queen for whom men are ready to do beautiful things. And in general - get married.

I talk more about the rating at the training “I’m actually smart, but I live like a fool,” at my webinars and in training videos. You can also read about it using the link.

It is clear that a girl who is physically attractive, with an active life position, capable of giving bright emotions to a man, who devotes time to her development, always wins compared to others. She's number one. She chooses the best for herself. And the man sees her as a life partner, and not as a one-night stand. Therefore, before you start an active search, look at where your rating is sagging and work on this area.

Let me give you an example from practice for clarity: Mila, 27 years old.
Participant in my training “I’m actually smart, but I live like a fool.” Men have always liked me. But as soon as they started communicating with Mila a little closer, all the gentlemen immediately ran away. Mila is a beauty, legs from ears, two highest. The girl constantly went to fitness, took care of herself, attended various courses for self-development, but was completely incapable of showing emotions, was an eternal beech and often got smart. One day, another boyfriend gave her a diamond ring on the second day of their acquaintance. Every girl's dream! Do you agree? Mila took it for granted, without much emotion, and even casually said that she knew how to determine whether it was a fake or not. It is no wonder that that man soon disappeared from her life. Result after training
: Now Mila is all glowing.
She learned to thank, give men emotions, turned off the teacher and turned on the sensual woman. Recently, her new lover proposed to her. Conclusion
: Mila needed to improve her spiritual, emotional and energy ratings. Then everything fell into a beautiful puzzle of her female happiness without difficulty.

The next step on the path to successful dating:

Study my proprietary PDA technique (Compliment-Program-Compliment) and feel free to use it for good.
Read more about how to use PDA when meeting a man here “ We choose, we are chosen
.” Or see more examples below. This technique is, in principle, useful in any communication with a man.

We set up nets and catch the handsome guy on a hook

So, we decided where to start. Now you need to attract the attention of the man you like. This can be done in several ways:

Unusual detail or unusual behavior.

Think over your image and add a bright detail to it.
A catchy scarf, contrasting earrings, an unusual handbag or a huge brooch. A little bit shocking. Such a detail will always attract attention, and for a man it is also a good hook to start a conversation. Or you can behave unconventionally. Tell the man directly: “ I see that you are looking into my neckline!” Shame on you?

»‎. And even if he didn’t look, he will definitely look now. And you smile and compliment him.

You can also ask a man something unusual, walk past him and touch him casually, drop something, make him help you, for example, open the door, and then emotionally thank him and say a compliment. Do you remember how ladies used to accidentally drop a handkerchief next to a gentleman they liked? This is just from this series. Fantasize.

Light flirting.

Fleeting glances - eye to eye, graceful turn of the head, touching hair, smile, sexy gait. Flirt lightly with the man, show interest. Use your feminine charms. Just without bending. There is no need to stare at him or expose any part of your body, otherwise you will appear to a man as an available girl for one night. Flirting is not vulgar behavior, but a beautiful game.

Approaching and moving away.

Another tactic.
You take the initiative, but not specifically with the goal of getting to know each other. Just approach a man, strike up an unobtrusive conversation, give him a compliment, and then abruptly disappear from sight. And you appear again. You show him your slight interest, then you move away and don’t pay attention to him. Playing with him again. All these methods can be combined. Light flirting, for example, is always appropriate. Also, pay attention to your voice - train your sexy timbre. This can be learned. I have a video on my Youtube channel on how to properly train your voice.

PDA in action. Examples with two different types of men

When first communicating, always remember PDA. Let's look at two types of men with whom there is every chance of building a harmonious, serious relationship.

Successful and very self-confident

Imagine, an impressive, handsome man comes up to you, it’s clear that he is successful and rich.
He feels like he’s on top of his game and immediately offers to sleep with him, but for a reason. He promises that after a night of love you will go with him to buy gifts. The offer is obscene, but it is difficult for a woman to resist. After all, he is beautiful. But we must behave with dignity, my dears. How? The PDA will save you again, tell him the following: “ I see you are a temperamental and confident man. And I am a girl who allows intimacy only out of mutual love. And I’m sure that such an assertive, generous man like you will definitely find a girl for a pleasant evening today.

».‎

Please note that you cannot compliment a man’s appearance! It's like an invitation to bed. In the situation from the example, after your answer, the man will understand that he has met a worthy girl and will definitely want to improve. He will try to ask you out on a date. Your reputation will not suffer and you will have a chance not to sell yourself for gifts, but to build a serious relationship with him. That's what was required.

You may ask me: “
Why is he even trying to buy a girl?”
What kind of impudence? »‎. A successful, self-confident man, my beautiful ones, knows the price of everything and is ready to pay for everything. His brain works like a businessman, even in relationships with girls. But if you behave with dignity, he will switch to feelings and become a knight.

A good, promising man, but modest.

You got his attention. He approached you, wants to meet you. However, it’s difficult for him, he worries, he says nonsense. There is no need to encourage him or take initiative. Quickly come up with a compliment for his masculine qualities, then voice what you want and say the compliment again. Let's imagine that you liked him. Then it will look something like this: “ I see you are a brave and gallant man.
I will be pleased to talk with you. Your restraint, modesty and subtle humor are such a rarity in our time. »‎.

Then you continue the conversation, the man is already more relaxed. You will arrange a date, and perhaps build a strong relationship.

" Call me! »‎. How to give your number correctly?

Another important detail when dating is exchanging phone numbers. How to give your phone number so that the guy calls you back later and doesn’t disappear anywhere after the first date? After all, this happens often. Learn, my beautiful ones!

You never just give your phone number to anyone. Never! Embrace this. No need to write it on a napkin and slip it to a beautiful stranger. And if he came up himself, even more so! Tell him that you need to make sure that it is he who is calling you. Let the first one dictate his number, and you dial him. Then be sure to set a specific time frame for the call and give the man a couple of days to choose.

For example, say: “ Call me tomorrow or the day after tomorrow from 16 to 18.

»‎. Such a statement excites men and makes them wait impatiently for the time to call, then call and seek a meeting.

And a little about how to answer calls:

Don't answer the phone right away, wait.
As soon as they take you and the man introduces himself, show that you are incredibly happy to hear from him.
Do not pick up the phone outside the appointed time.
Reply to SMS: “I will be pleased to chat with you tomorrow from 16 to 18.”
Under no circumstances should you start a love correspondence before calling. The man will understand that you are not busy at all. This is his subconscious check for lice, so to speak.

These are the rules, my beautiful ones.
Of course, this is only a small part of all the knowledge on the path to female happiness. If you want to learn more about how to start a relationship with a man correctly, be sure to come to my trainings: “Actually, I’m smart, but I live like a fool” and “Mom won’t teach you that.” On them we deeply work through all problematic situations, look for mistakes, correct them, learn to understand male psychology, present ourselves correctly and build happy relationships. Tell me, when was the last time a man met you? Where and how did this happen?

Quarreling

Very important advice for those who do not know how to communicate with a man in order to tame a handsome man: do not create scandals and showdowns. Guys really don't like this! A sad look and a quietly rolling tear will have a much stronger effect than screams and hysterics. In addition, every woman should remember that men hate it when they are “rinsed” with their brains, especially if the reason is stupidity that is not worth attention. Making a scene because a guy didn’t call or talk to another girl on social networks or in person is a huge stupidity. If a quarrel is ripe, say everything directly, without hinting or trying to force him to figure everything out on his own. After all, what seems important to us often seems like a mere trifle to men. In general, the best scenario is a frank conversation, without shouting or moralizing. It's very easy to leave by slamming the door. It is much more difficult to stay, listen, understand and accept.

Liberty

Let's move on, figuring out how to communicate with men. You must give them freedom. The guy doesn’t need to be bombarded with text messages every 10 minutes, and you don’t need to call him all day long (unless the young man does this himself or likes it). Understand: people need to take a little break from each other. And yes, he should have his own space. And going with friends to football or to a cafe. Try to turn this negative relationship into a positive: let him miss you! This does not mean that you need to pretend that his adventures are indifferent to you. No, just let him go...

Control

What else can you suggest to women who want to understand how to communicate with men correctly? Don't control them. Guys really don’t like it when a woman takes on the role of a mother and wants to know when and where her lover was, what he did and what he ate. This is a kind of continuation of the rule of freedom, but with small reservations. There is even an old joke that a man, like a dog, should be kept on a leash of medium length: not too short so that he doesn’t try to chew it, but not too long so that he can’t run around the corner.

Start with the main thing! How to talk to a man

Why doesn't the man talk? Because it's experience. Experience suggests that such a conversation will not end well. Men know how a woman will structure this conversation and try to avoid it - for the purpose of self-preservation. This is not the smartest policy (and I put it mildly), but since many men follow it, you have to do something with what you have.

A woman’s task is to speak differently. Then the negative experience will be slowly supplemented by positive experience. And over time, the man will stop avoiding difficult conversations.

Let's get started.

1. Choose your time.

People love to talk not when others can hear them, but when they want to talk. At men’s trainings, participants many times described in vivid colors: “I come home from work late, I fall off my feet, I don’t even have dinner - I go straight to bed, and she says to me, dear, we need to talk.”

Right - wrong. The right thing to do is to choose a time when a man wakes up, when he doesn’t have to go anywhere, when he can listen and think about it. Saturday evening and Sunday morning are often the best times to talk.

Of course, everything is individual for people, and Monday night is the right time for some, but this does not cancel the rules - talk about difficult topics when the man has the time and energy to talk.

2. Start with the main thing.

People (and especially women) love to start from afar, with copious details and long digressions, and this infuriates a man (especially when the topic of conversation is not simple).

Mainly because he does not understand what information is important and what is not, and what the woman is driving at. The brain begins to furiously put forward hypotheses, the head begins to boil and after some time explodes. A headless man is not physically capable of conversation, as you understand.

Mood

You can also recommend the following to girls who want to know how to communicate competently with men: you should always be in a good mood. Of course, sometimes there may be exceptions, but a dissatisfied expression on a lady’s face can not only upset a man, but also set him up negatively. Well, think for yourself, who is interested in bothering Princess Nesmeyana? It’s another matter when a girl smiles, laughs, and sometimes even fools around (from time to time you can afford such behavior). All this will cause only pleasant impressions and a corresponding positive reaction in the guy.

Listen and hear

Who doesn't know that women love with their ears? This truth is as old as time. How often, sulking, we declare that guys don’t hear us. What are you like? But they also want to be listened to. And at the same time they also heard. Don't ignore your loved one's stories about how their day went. You especially need to gather your strength and listen to a young man when he talks about his hobbies: hunting, fishing, football... And if a girl makes it clear that she is interested in it, asks questions or makes a competent remark, the man will generally be completely delighted and watch to her in a completely different way.

The importance of first impressions. Practical advice

Many famous psychologists, such as Dale Carnegie, emphasize the importance of first impressions. You shouldn’t neglect their advice when meeting a man.

If a woman is worried, she needs:

smile, sincerely and a little mysteriously, but by no means constantly;
speak not too loudly, so that the man can hear without straining;
look into the eyes of the interlocutor, and not to the side or down;
do not violate personal spatial boundaries;
talk less about yourself and listen more;
interrupt the meeting first, citing some circumstance and expressing regret about ending the meeting.

These are very simple and effective ways that will help not only cope with internal tremors, but also leave a lasting impression on yourself. After spending an evening with a woman who behaves this way, a man will begin to miss her even before she has time to fall asleep.

Zodiac signs

It is worth talking separately about how women should communicate with men - representatives of different signs of the Zodiac.

Aries. By nature, these men are energetic, restless and always on the move. To arouse interest in your person, you need to be a well-read and highly educated lady. How to communicate with a Taurus man? This is a very interesting question. So, these people are open, emotional and sincere. They will demand the same from communicating with a girl. In such relationships, it is better for the lady to remain herself and remember that Taurus loves honesty and devotion. Gemini. Representatives of this sign are freedom-loving by nature and not too serious. A woman should not expect much from communicating with a Gemini guy. Lack of obligations and minimum requirements are the key to a successful relationship. Cancer. These are people of strong spirit and great will. To impress a representative of this zodiac sign, you need to be condescending towards his weaknesses, and also be friendly. How to communicate with a Leo man? Here the name of the character of the zodiac circle speaks for itself. So, these are people who love themselves enough, and besides, they are leaders by nature. You need to communicate with such a person on maximum equal terms and under no circumstances put yourself at least a little higher. Leos love praise very much and do not tolerate betrayal. If you follow these simple rules, communication with Leo will be a pleasure.Virgo. Representatives of this sign are hardworking and have a cold, calculating mind. They will be interested in those ladies who are well educated and have advanced up the career ladder (reached a certain level in their working life). Virgos also love praise. The next sign is Libra. What should you remember in this case? How to communicate with a man? Libras are people who change their minds often. At the same time, they are calm, cheerful and attentive. And a lady needs to be the same. In a difficult moment for them, you need to drop everything and be there: these natures, like no other, require attention and support. Scorpio. The question of how to communicate with a Scorpio man is incredibly relevant, since these are extraordinary individuals. They are often self-willed and proud. It is better to communicate with representatives of this sign casually, without provoking them into quarrels. If you know about the weak point of such a man, do not try to use this information as a weapon directed against him - this will not lead to anything good. Scorpio can sting quite painfully, and not just with words. Sagittarius. These are very sociable men. Therefore, a lady needs to be prepared to communicate with many of their friends and acquaintances. The chosen one will not understand and will not accept prohibitions in this regard. The basic rules of communication with Sagittarius: do not reveal all the secrets (they do not know how to keep them to themselves) and do not impose. Capricorn. By nature, they are very patient and reserved individuals. In addition, they are always serious and often do not like excessive gaiety. When communicating with a representative of this sign, you always need to prove your reliability and loyalty. And do not forget that Capricorns require understanding and sympathy from their halves. Aquarius. No less necessary will be a hint on how to communicate with an Aquarius man. These people are not arrogant, but sociable. You need to be on an equal footing with them, they love it. In addition, you need to remember two important points: you won’t be able to convince Aquarius, you shouldn’t even start; For representatives of this sign, status is not important, but the inner world of the interlocutor is of great importance. Pisces. By nature, Pisces are very receptive to everything that surrounds them, and they are also very vulnerable. Finding a common language with a representative of this sign is not so easy, because he does not allow everyone to approach him. Only by showing goodwill, sincerity, and later complete devotion, can you earn the love of a Pisces man.

conclusions

Few people think about whether they know how to communicate with the opposite sex.
We can all talk. It is by talking that we begin to understand the other, express feelings and emotions, and explain desires. When we communicate with a person we like, it is quite understandable to want to arouse reciprocal interest. And if you simply interest a person, then maintaining interest for a long time is much more difficult. We hope you find these tips useful. How to start a conversation with a guy you like? Surprisingly, according to psychologists, the “golden rule” of advertising effectiveness applies when communicating with the opposite sex. First, we attract involuntary attention, and then we turn it into voluntary attention, touching points of interest. What does it mean?

In fact, everything is trivial. It is not necessary to immediately invent and invent something super unusual, choosing original topics for conversation with a handsome stranger. He will be able to appreciate the rich inner world of the girl later if he takes the “hook”. But first you need bait!

It's important to start with a simple, straightforward conversation topic tailored for these types of occasions. If the girl is attractive to your interlocutor, he will be happy to continue the acquaintance. He definitely won't miss his chance!

But before you start a conversation with a stranger, you should make sure you have the necessary attitude. Even time-tested and experience-tested topics will not help if a girl doubts herself and feels fear. You can use some tips that will help you not get confused at a crucial moment.

Thinking about how to start a conversation with a guy in contact or in person, every girl doubts for a long time - is it worth starting something? The fear of an unexpected blow to pride stops almost half of the ladies who secretly sigh for a beautiful stranger living next door or in their favorite chat room.

But a simple conversation does not reveal any “insidious plans”; no one will know about her sympathy for the young man! Even if he refuses to make an acquaintance, turning away snobbishly or complaining about the lack of free time, there is no point in being afraid.

A light and casual conversation on a neutral topic is not at all a reason to look sad or indecisive. You should not give the impression of a gloomy or overly serious person, otherwise the whole idea will fail.

A charming smile will definitely attract the attention of an interesting guy, and most importantly, will give him pleasant memories of an unexpected acquaintance.

Before you start a conversation with a guy on the phone, you should find out if he is comfortable talking. Perhaps the person at the moment does not have even a minute to talk. It also happens that a second before the call, someone ruined his mood or made him angry.

Or maybe the poor guy just didn't get enough sleep. Finding out the mood of the interlocutor when corresponding on the Internet is somewhat more difficult. Perhaps a lack of time will be indicated by spelling errors or a long wait for a response.

In addition, it is important not to forget about your own mood. How to start a conversation with a guy after a quarrel with relatives or after a sleepless night studying for exams? There is only one answer - no way!

Unfortunately, there are a few lucky people in the world who are able to abstract themselves from unpleasant thoughts and unwind psychologically before an important conversation or meeting. It’s better not to tempt fate by enrolling yourself in their ranks and risking forever losing the chance of meeting the object of your desire.

You should not take this advice too literally, because no one has ever canceled flirtatious flirting and shooting eyes to kill. We are talking about the first impression, which should not deteriorate during subsequent meetings. Don't lie and try to be someone you really aren't.

This rule especially applies to online dating by correspondence, where many people like to embellish themselves. This makes no sense, since upon personal contact the truth will be revealed, and both will be disappointed.

Topics for conversation

So, the preparatory stages are over, and you should think about a suitable topic for making acquaintances. As has already been noted, the first contact is not at all suitable for intimate conversations and cordial conversations. Many people try to find an original way to a man’s heart and choose a non-standard topic for communication.

This does not always turn out to be a good idea, because the guy may turn out to be ignorant on some issue, and then the conversation will not start. The best option is a neutral topic, presumably familiar to both. Each dating option has its own, most successful topics.

How to start a conversation with a guy on the Internet

Today, a huge number of people of any age spend time on the Internet. For most of them, correspondence in contact is a great chance to find a soul mate. To many, this method will seem dubious, because without face-to-face communication it is difficult to verify the presence of sincere sympathy. And the risk of running into scammers and perverts is too great.

But if we put aside all skepticism and doubts, we will have to admit the obvious fact - the Internet has managed to connect millions of hearts. Therefore, it’s still worth trying your luck.

Where to start the conversation? Since the interlocutor is a man, you don’t have to think about clothes, fashion magazines, household chores and culinary recipes. Most guys will consider these topics to be mere chatter, and the girl will quickly be labeled as boring and uninteresting. You should not start a conversation about football, construction, talk about politics or cars. If a lady does not understand these issues, then she will not be able to maintain a conversation.

What topics are relevant for correspondence in contact?

When corresponding with a guy, it is important not to forget about spelling and punctuation. Without receiving an answer to the last question, you should not start typing a new one. Dialogue must remain dialogue, otherwise the acquaintance can be considered unsuccessful.

How to start a conversation with a guy in person

For personal acquaintance with a young man, quite simple and logical algorithms are provided that are suitable for absolutely any place, be it a bus stop, a cafe or a gym.

Introduce yourself. There is nothing easier than just walking up to a stranger and saying your name. “Hi, I'm Christina! What is your name? " Next in the conversation you should use the name of the interlocutor - he will like it.
Take advantage of the circumstances around you. At the bus stop you can complain about the lack of a bus, at the institute you can complain about the long hours. On the street, you can ask if they are predicting rain. Surprisingly, banal conversations about the weather often work.
Ask for help. In an educational institution, ask to bring books, in the gym - an apparatus. Let him show his masculinity and strength.
Give thanks and praise. Guys love compliments and gratitude no less than girls. You can praise him not only for his muscles, but for his excellent cologne or shirt.
End your acquaintance on a high note. A new meeting becomes welcome if the first one ended suddenly. We can say that we have been waiting for a long time at home. The main thing is not to forget to smile at the end and say that the meeting was pleasant. If the guy is really interested, he will definitely offer to exchange numbers or arrange a meeting in a cafe.

The first step is often difficult, even when communicating through a monitor, when the interlocutor does not see how your ears are red, your cheeks are flushed and your palms are sweating. But you know that you are worried and feel out of place. And therefore you can say, or rather, write something that will make you feel embarrassed later. Or something that will create an unfavorable impression of you and prevent you from continuing your acquaintance. These problems manifest themselves especially clearly in the first virtual conversation with a person you really like.

Guys are different, just like your attitude towards them. You must clearly understand exactly what feelings you have for the guy at this stage in order to correctly begin and effectively continue communication.

Perhaps you like him as a person, you think or know that you have something in common and would be interested in communicating. This is one situation. The simplest one. Just forget that he is a guy and communicate with him like you would with any girlfriend: easily and sincerely.

Maybe you liked him as a man, although you don’t know each other personally and you only saw him in a photo on VKontakte. This is a completely different matter. In this case, you need to be especially careful, because the reactions, desires and tastes of a stranger can be completely unpredictable. In addition, the photo may not be his at all. And everything he wrote about himself is fiction.

It also happens that you know this guy in reality. Perhaps you even communicate with him, and perhaps not. And you like him. Or even you are in love with him. And you want to get to know him better or attract his attention. Of course, your feelings will prevent you from being light and natural, but you need to try. Don't tense up. Be yourself. And show your best side.

Some tips for girls who don’t know how to start a conversation with a guy on the Internet:

Preliminary stage.
Gather information. Especially if it is important for you to be liked and continue communication in the future. Find out what he is interested in, what he likes, how he spends his free time. Doing this using social networks is not that difficult. Even if he is a man of few words and only wrote a couple of words in his profile, you can draw conclusions by looking at his photographs, studying the groups in which he is a member, recognizing his friends, his statuses, comments, etc.
Take care of self-presentation.
If this were real, how would you prepare for a first date? That's right, I would take all the things out of the closet, lay them out on all the surfaces in my room and feverishly try them on in front of the mirror. And then I would spend two hours making up one eye, and three hours making the other one just as beautiful. During virtual communication, he will get an impression of you, first of all, from your photograph. Therefore, put the best one on your avatar. Your other photos on social networks should also represent your best side. Moreover, not only externally, but also internally. They, as well as other available information about you, should portray you as an interesting person who has fun and has many hobbies. Make sure that at least some of your hobbies coincide with his.
Start of communication.
Usually people say hello first. But, if you want to surprise him or are sure that he likes informal communication, you can start not with a greeting, but with a question, suggestion or wish.
Standard phrases for starting acquaintance:
Hello, cool photo (suitable for any photo).
Hello, your face looks familiar. Haven’t you studied... or been to... camp?
Where did he get such a cool biker jacket (a T-shirt, if it’s unusual, a guitar, a bicycle or any other thing that he is clearly proud of and is photographed with or in).
Do you know if there will be a first couple tomorrow? (or another question regarding studies, if you study together).
How did Zenit play yesterday? (If in his avatar he is wearing the scarf of this team, and you know for sure that there was a game yesterday).
Hi, I see you're into Nirvana, can you tell me where I can get their 1982 posters? (any version of a question regarding his hobby, in which you ask for advice).
Hi I … . I want to meet you (an option for straightforward and confident girls, it often works).
Don't push.
Be relaxed and create an atmosphere of easy, pleasant communication. You just want to chat. He should not guess that you have far-reaching plans for him (if there are any). Don't try to set up dates right away or hint that you would like to see him or go somewhere. With your pressure you can scare him away, even if he is a very brave and desperate guy.
Don't let communication fade away.
Ask questions and structure your phrases so that the communication continues. Both yours and his monosyllabic answers can ruin the whole conversation.
If you ask about something and he answers “yes” or “no,” ask additional questions, be interested in details, express your own or someone else’s opinion. In a word, do everything to evoke a lively response.
If he asks you a question, answer in at least two sentences. If you're too short, he'll think you're not interested. And that you want to end the conversation quickly. Instead of waiting for you to do it, he can do it himself.
Tell about yourself.
Try to insert into the conversation the most interesting and attractive, from your, and, as you think, his, point of view, facts from your biography, funny stories from life, information about your hobbies and pastimes. Let him have a certain impression of you, and let this impression be positive. But don't overdo it. It’s not worth dumping all the information about yourself on him at once. Just be prepared for the conversation if you plan ahead. Think about what is important and interesting, and what is better to remain silent about for now.
Keep your imagination in check.
It’s clear that you want to appear your best. Including the coolest one. But if you tell him that you personally know Justin Bieber or that you get to the university in a private helicopter, he may treat you with distrust. If he has everything in order with a sense of reality. Even if you lie just a little, it may later be revealed and characterize you not from the best side. Therefore, if you embellish reality, don’t try too hard.

How to end a conversation
There are many options for ending conversations, but what is more important is not “how”, but “when”. You need to do this before you get tired of him. This moment is not always easy to feel, but it is still possible. If he answered your questions several times in monosyllables, but doesn’t ask you anything else, if the intervals between answers increase, this means that you are a little late. I should have wrapped things up a little earlier. But, if you just realized that it’s time, finish right away. Say you need to run, but maybe you can talk again someday. And switch off immediately.

Aerobatics is to interrupt the conversation at the peak of his interest in you. Then he will definitely strive to continue it, and will give you strength and confidence to feel like a hunter, and not a victim who has fallen into a trap.

Life is an unpredictable thing. You will never guess in what situation you will need this or that knowledge. For example, young ladies often have the question of what to talk about with a guy. And such a question may arise not only at the first meeting, but also after several months of communication.

The first meeting is understandable; people do not know each other yet and have a poor understanding of the interests of the interlocutor. And they are still embarrassed to open up and discuss some very personal or intimate topics. Therefore, at the first meeting, girls are more often faced with the problem of choosing a topic for conversation.

Although after several years of living together, when feelings have cooled down a little, there may not be more common topics for conversation

. On the contrary, a communication crisis often arises when there is nothing left to talk about. But you shouldn’t be afraid of this, this happens when all the generally accepted topics have already been discussed, you know every letter of your biographies, all the funny and amusing stories have long been learned by heart.

Taboo

Now let's talk about what a girl should avoid when communicating with guys.

Don't teach. A woman should not tell a young man what to do or say - this is a huge mistake. Do not interrupt. A man needs to be listened to completely, without trying to insert his “five cents.” Only after the end of the monologue can you express your opinion on this or that issue. Do not criticize. It is strictly forbidden to criticize the guy himself or his immediate circle, especially parents and friends, in a conversation. Do not impose. If a man currently cannot or does not want to communicate, there is no need to insist on this. Do not extol yourself. Girls should remember that there is no need to advertise yourself too much, even if you are an angel in the flesh. Let the guy learn about everything gradually and preferably from other people’s lips. And every time you emphasize how smart and beautiful you are, it’s simply stupid.

And the last thing I want to say: all the rules and tips are good, but you don’t need to get too hung up on it all. We must remember that when communicating with a representative of the opposite sex, you need to be as open and natural as possible, and then everything will work out by itself, and communication will reach the level that both need.

Reasons why men are cold towards women

The first reason is not often, but also often, that the object of sympathy is much superior to the young lady in psychological and intellectual qualities. For example, an attractive girl is in a relationship with a very respectable and successful gentleman. As a rule, such individuals are intellectually developed and interesting people who, for a long-term relationship, most often need a woman who is no less interesting than them, both externally and internally.

The second reason is that the lady does not want to develop her own personality at all and is therefore too fixated on the man.

The third reason is that the girl idealizes or deifies the man. She can forgive him for his unworthy behavior and try to justify him, because he is the best.

KK Adapt. 5 paragraph

The fourth reason is excessive talkativeness.

The fifth reason is that the young lady tries to please in everything, to adapt to the man completely, losing her personality in him.

This list examines the most basic reasons for the loss of interest of men in women.