Every person wants to radiate confidence so that people around him have no doubt that he knows his worth and is able to cope with most tasks. This is important not only for the stronger sex, but also for beautiful ladies. Unfortunately, people do not always have self-confidence, so it needs to be built. For some, it’s enough to read books or go to trainings, but sometimes you need the help of a specialist. Below we’ll talk about how to become a confident and smart woman, and we’ll look at some tips.
Find your favorite activity
How to become a confident woman? The psychologist's advice is to do what you really like. One of the mistakes most representatives of the fair sex make is taking on the role of breadwinner. No, it will be very great if a woman can get a good salary and do what she likes. But if you have to go to work every time in a bad mood just because it brings in a lot of money, this is a reason to think about it.
After all, if a woman does what she likes, her mood will always be positive, she will be able to achieve success and develop herself. There will be an incentive for further development, and a thirst for success will appear, which will help a woman feel confident in her abilities.
Don't think - act!
An insecure person tends to overthink and overanalyze. If this is your problem, you probably don't sleep at night before an important event, thinking through your every step. What if it doesn't work out? What if I can't handle it? In psychology there is such a thing as “perfectionist paralysis.” It characterizes a state in which a person cannot begin a certain activity (do work, give a speech, etc.) due to fear that he will not be able to do everything perfectly.
How to deal with this phenomenon? Just become a man of action, not thought! Remember the proverb: “measure twice and cut once”? As children, we were all taught to first think about our action and only then perform it. But if “perfectionist paralysis” prevents you from doing everyday things and forces you to give up many of life’s joys, then you need to do the opposite.
Once you have made a decision, it must be followed by action. Wean yourself from the habit of thinking and analyzing the same situation several times in a row. The habit of arranging a personal “debriefing” and remembering to the smallest detail what you have already done also does not have the best effect on self-esteem.
Accept flaws
One of the signs of insecure women is paying a lot of attention to negative (in their opinion) character traits or flaws in appearance. After all, for someone, what upsets you most is a virtue. How to be confident? Advice from psychologists recommend learning to accept yourself as you are.
An important point: you don’t just need to tell yourself that you have short legs or a quiet voice, but nothing can be done, but look for the positive aspects. Short legs? But there will be no problems in public transport! Quiet voice? With it, you quickly calm those around you. It is this positive approach that will help women become more confident.
How to increase self-confidence?
- Change your environment. Avoid communicating with negative people and pessimists. Strive for smiling, positive-minded people who live in harmony with themselves.
- Don't blame yourself for mistakes and failures.
- Avoid comparisons - you are the one and only.
- Keep a diary of achievements - write down even your small successes, good words spoken to you.
- Exercise regularly - exercise will make you more resilient and attractive in appearance, and this does not directly affect your self-esteem.
- Take a course or training that improves your self-esteem.
Important! Be careful and choose a psychology expert who has experience and a lot of positive reviews from real people.
Get out of your comfort zone. Stop hiding in your cozy, familiar shell - learn to do what makes you afraid!
Visit new places, speak in front of an audience, ask strangers for help, do what you love.
How to love yourself and become more self-confident is explained in the video:
Look beautiful
Most of the advice on how to become self-confident in female psychology concerns appearance, because it is important for ladies of any age to look good. Therefore, most of us can spend more than one hour in front of the mirror. And the first sign that a woman is unsure of herself is her unkempt appearance.
Experts note that buying new things (especially bright colors) lifts the mood, a smile appears on the face, and the gait becomes flying. Therefore, the next advice from psychologists on how to be confident is to take care of your appearance. This does not mean that you need to buy only fashionable things and spend your entire salary on cosmetics. Everything needs moderation, the task is to be not only beautiful, but also elegant. Study fashion trends, figure out what suits you specifically, don’t be afraid to try on different looks - all this will help create the image of a stylish and successful lady.
Pay attention to body language
What does a confident woman look like? Posture is straight, confident gait, head held high, arms move smoothly. Therefore, the next piece of advice from a psychologist on how to be self-confident concerns gestures and body language. When you see a stooped woman, you get the impression that she is afraid to attract attention to herself and wants to get lost in the crowd, so you need to work on correct posture. Do special exercises and you will see that others look at you differently. And you will feel more confident. And correct posture is also important for health.
To achieve a feminine gait, it is recommended to wear a pencil skirt slightly below the knee - then your step will be beautiful and smooth. Pay attention to your hands: do you play with something when you are nervous or don’t know where to put them? During the movement, the arms should move freely and smoothly to the beat. And during a conversation, try to avoid active gestures, make sure that your gestures complement your words and give liveliness to the conversation.
A set of psychological exercises
A set of psychological exercises will help you break your stereotypes and overcome personal problems. It will also be useful for those who are engaged in self-improvement.
Exercise "No"
The ability to say “no” is not always easy, but it is a must for every normal person. Sometimes, one might even say often, people can use your inability to say no for their own purposes, and you, unwittingly, will be forced to do actions that are unpleasant to you. The word “No” should be pronounced decisively and calmly; the main thing in this refusal is that you must be confident that you are right.
Exercise “Not-smile”
A smile is a pleasant and easy way to put a person at ease, but it is often perceived by people around him as a sign of consent to something. People have accepted your smile and will try to force you to do something that you don't like. Therefore, you should be able to not smile in response to an oncoming smile; this will give you a feeling of independence and inner freedom.
Exercise “Non-standard actions”
A person’s desire to be himself is essentially a normal state, but often he has to follow the rules and not stand out. This makes him dependent on the opinions of others and keeps him in suspense. Allow yourself to be unconventional more often, it is necessary. For example, while waiting for a bus at a stop, you are cold, jump or make several intense movements with your arms. No one will judge you for this; most likely, the people around you simply won’t notice it, and you will feel warmer.
Exercise “Freedom of Negative Emotions”
A person can experience different emotions, including negative ones. But we often hold them back. You can't force yourself to hold back all the time. Eventually, they will accumulate and result in a fit of anger. You should learn to talk about your experiences, even if it may upset someone.
Self-irony
People with a sense of humor always attract attention. Individuals who can laugh at some of their shortcomings or odd situations react adequately to criticism and do not react so sharply to comments. How to be confident? The psychologist's advice is to learn to laugh at yourself.
This also applies to flaws in appearance: if a woman can turn them into advantages, then her attitude towards her appearance will change. There is awareness and acceptance of their uniqueness, girls stop chasing mythical standards. A great example of how self-irony improves self-esteem are celebrities who have turned their flaws into the highlight of their personality, and many of them are considered beautiful and smart women.
Men's fears and complexes
What men are afraid of in relationships with women
"Girls don't like me"
The appearance of the first male fears dates back to adolescence. Failures on the personal front, which due to age are perceived as bitter, leave an imprint on a man’s relationships with women and sometimes for the rest of his life. The latent expectation of failure does not allow him to communicate with the girl naturally and freely: it is as if he is waiting to be driven away. The same uncertainty and wariness often manifests itself in adult men. After several failures, they stop meeting representatives of the opposite sex. Some get a lifelong complex and complete confidence that full-fledged relationships with women are not for them, so frightened are they by the possibility of being rejected. And others, due to the suffering caused in their youth, generally turn into
- What to do? You can meet such a “wounded animal” in a team, in a club of interests, or at a party of friends. He is unlikely to dare to come up to you and start a conversation, but nothing prevents you from doing this. Did you find him interesting? Take the initiative: try to start a conversation on neutral topics, showing kindness and gentleness towards him. And if you like talking, offer to continue acquaintance. You can pull a man out of the “pit” of fear only by starting a relationship with friendship.
"Nobody needs me!"
Men have begun to experience this fear in recent decades. Two hundred or even a hundred years ago, it would never have occurred to any man that he was not needed. Everything depended on them: home, work, household. For a girl who had lost her parents, they looked for at least some male relative to take custody of her. But the spread of feminism led to the fact that women began to provide for themselves, and protect themselves, and build houses and businesses, and even give birth to children - only for themselves. In such a situation, every normal man sooner or later asks himself the question: “Why does she need me?” Bed, intimate conversations, general entertainment - this is understandable, but it is not clear why he is not needed for something simple and vital - bringing bags from the market, fixing a faucet. It is precisely this need for men that is clear. And if, in his opinion, he turns out to be unnecessary, sooner or later he will be asked to leave.
- What to do? Even if you are absolutely sure that you can do something better and faster yourself, entrust it to your husband. If something goes wrong, you can redo it later, but without him knowing about it. Ask for help, convince him how much you need his support, put on a man’s shoulders everything that you don’t want to carry on your own, and even the thought of uselessness will not appear in his head.
“I won’t tell anyone anything!”
- What to do? If your man doesn't like to open up, don't force him to talk about sensitive topics for him. Start voicing the problem for him yourself: “You’re probably worried right now...” Doesn’t help? Is he still silent or avoids answering? Don’t bother with questions, just remember that the vast majority of men are not talkative at all; they would rather do something significant than squeeze out words of love, tenderness or complaints. Hence the panic that any man falls into when he hears the phrase: “I need to talk to you.” Hundreds of options for the most serious and difficult conversations instantly flash through his head - one more terrible than the other: betrayal, divorce, terminal diagnosis, etc. And you were just going to offer him an idea for the upcoming vacation! If you want to discuss something or find out his opinion on some issue, speak without this threatening preamble.
"No one will love me"
Most men are afraid that no one can love them the way they are. Every person has a desire to improve, achieve results, achieve goals, win and receive awards. In many men, this desire to achieve new heights is ineradicable, and until all of them are conquered, it seems to them that they are not good enough to be someone’s happiness. But women understand that they need to love him for who he is. And what will happen next, the future will show. This fear is especially acute for those men who have nothing and those who have everything. The first one believes that he cannot be loved because he has an old Lada and an unpromising job. The second is afraid that they will love him not for his rich inner world, but for his profitable business and mansion in a prestigious area.
- What to do? This fear can be cured only in one way: to love and tell him more often: “I love you for what you are, I just love you.”
"I can not! »
No one can convince a man that his masculinity is tested and confirmed not only in bed and the ability to make money. For all men, this is an axiom, which means that almost all of them are tormented by the fear of sexual and financial insolvency. If you simultaneously expect this and are afraid, then a failure will certainly occur somewhere at some time. And fear, after this has happened at least once, will torment and haunt you constantly.
- What to do? If you witness a misfire, under no circumstances show disappointment or reproach and be very careful in your statements. Otherwise, the words “Loser!” or “Loser!” can be a death sentence for a man for the rest of his life. The only thing worse than that is laughter. He is already afraid of becoming the subject of ridicule, and even more so in such important matters.
"He's better than me!"
Very often, self-doubt breaks out in men with the fear of being worse than the ex-partner of his beloved. He begins to compare, bombarding the lady with questions and trying to find out why he is better for her than the previous one. And if he doesn’t see any reasons visible to his male eye, it will be very difficult to prove that a woman usually loves not for something, but just like that. Only a handsome man with a pumped up body, who considers himself the navel of the Universe, would not be confused by such a comparison.
- What to do? Never compare men publicly or go into details of past relationships. Answer questions reluctantly - you don’t want to remember the past. But try more to emphasize how good he is in this or that matter.
“I want to preserve freedom”
Reluctance to get married, panic in the eyes in response to a message about pregnancy - all these are manifestations of the fear of losing independence, the notorious male freedom. Moreover, pregnancy is especially frightening, because you can evade a marriage proposal for quite a long time, but it’s a completely different matter when it comes to the birth of a baby. By the way, this is why marriages “by accident” are extremely rarely preserved. Even if everything was moving at a snail’s pace towards the wedding, there is still a chance to save the marriage. And if there were no prospects, the man will never come to terms with the fact that he was forced to marry. The fear of loss of freedom, marriage or an unplanned pregnancy of a life partner is understandable, and many men get rid of it... by getting married.
- What to do? Do not put pressure on a man if, in your opinion, he is in no hurry to marry you. There should not be even a hint that such a step is forced. Either influence him gently and quietly, or abandon this relationship. Never hope that your love alone will be enough for happiness, and most importantly, to persuade your loved one to marry. Believe me, harmonious relationships do not tolerate any one-sided distortion.
“I’m ashamed to be a parasite”
The postulate that a man should bring money to the family and support it has been around for many centuries. In recent decades, when women have turned from housewives into workers, the statement has been added that the husband should bring more money into the family than the wife. And although the majority of men still earn more than their wives, there are more and more women who can not only support themselves, but earn very big money. Moreover, they themselves treat this state of affairs quite calmly, unless the husband turns into a parasite and a slacker. But it seems to men that self-sufficient women treat their insolvent husbands condescendingly, and when they take all the reins of power into their own hands, they relegate their husbands to the background.
- What to do? Help your man realize himself in his profession so that his earnings are at least at the same level as yours. If this is not possible, do not advertise your financial superiority, because your husband does not need to know what the true size of your income is, unless he is your accountant. And most importantly, never reproach your husband for low earnings, he will give you this.
Learn to talk about your feelings
The ability to accept and talk about experiences and emotions is very important. Insecure people are afraid to open up to others or share doubts with others, believing that this is a sign of weakness. But the ability to talk about what is important to a person is a quality of a confident person.
After all, it is not at all necessary that a person will begin to criticize or will not listen carefully to his interlocutor. In a conversation, it may turn out that problems that seemed global will turn out to be insignificant. If a woman was not happy with something in a relationship, a conversation with her other half will help take the relationship to a new level. Conversation helps people understand each other better.
How to be confident? The psychologist's advice concerns developing the ability to talk about one's feelings and what is important to a woman. A confidential conversation helps you realize that all people have doubts and everyone needs support. Confident people understand this, so they are always ready to make contact with their loved ones.
There is no need to think that success is a quality available only to selected individuals. Anyone can become confident, because acquiring this quality means constant work on oneself, self-development. Such people always strive to grow, they want to reach even greater heights. How to become a confident girl? The psychologist's advice all boils down to one thing - constantly develop yourself.
Yes, all people make mistakes, there are no perfect people. But you can try to be better, set certain goals and achieve them. A confident woman is a woman who lives in harmony with herself and others. She radiates happiness and calmness and is a great example for other girls. Such women know how to enjoy life and make themselves and their loved ones happier!
Now you know what advice psychologists give. How to become a confident woman? First of all, love yourself!
A confident person: what is he like?
Find out what awaits you today - Horoscope for today for all zodiac signs
Due to numerous requests from subscribers, we have prepared an accurate horoscope application for mobile phones. Forecasts will arrive for your zodiac sign every morning - it's impossible to miss! Download for free: Daily Horoscope 2020 (available on Android)
What does it mean to be confident? Many people do not fully understand this, however, it is necessary to understand this in order to know what to strive for.
A confident person believes in himself rather than waiting for someone else to believe in him. This presupposes the presence of will and courage to have and defend one’s point of view, to go against society. He is calm, does not doubt and does not get nervous over trifles. He has a goal to which he strives, regardless of the opinions of others.
Such a person feels inner strength. This attracts people to him. A confident person makes friends more easily and often achieves what he wants.
It may seem that you have to be born with a certain set of qualities, and the rest will only have to watch with envy as someone goes through life with their head held high. However, it is not. You can develop self-confidence, you can get rid of complexes and become what you want.
Of course, this is a difficult task that will require a lot of time and effort. But don’t you deserve to become the master of your life and stop doubting yourself all the time and being nervous about trifles?
It is better to work through serious injuries and complexes with a specialist, but there are recommendations that will help you gain self-confidence.
