How to determine low self-esteem in children?
With low self-esteem, the child constantly tries to please others, without thinking about his own interests. The following signs are noticeable in his behavior: restlessness, anxiety, uncertainty. He constantly expects comments, builds a system of excuses, follows defensive tactics in relationships, is ready to burst into tears or otherwise influence emotions in order to be pitied.
Tries to retire and avoid common activities, especially those where it is necessary to perform new unknown actions. He is prepared in advance for a bad result, does not try to cope with the task, and perceives his position as doomed: “I am worse than others,” “I won’t succeed.”
Signs of high self-esteem
Signs of inflated self-esteem are manifested in a person’s behavior. The psychology of how a person evaluates himself directly affects relationships with other people. If overconfidence prevails, problems arise in the communication process. The worst of them is when a person is left completely alone.
Inflated self-esteem has signs:
- A person is convinced that he is always right. At the same time, significant arguments can be given in favor of an alternative opinion, but this does not influence the individual in any way.
- Confidence in the existence of the only correct point of view - personal. A person denies the existence of an opposing opinion as such. If, due to some circumstances, he still needs to accept someone else’s point of view, he will still consider it incorrect.
- Another characteristic of high self-esteem is having the last word. The person is confident that only he can draw conclusions and determine the further course of events.
- One of the signs of a self-confident person is the inability to apologize or ask for forgiveness.
- With high self-esteem, a person blames others for his troubles. If something doesn't work out, it means other people are to blame. If a person reaches some heights, then this is only his merit.
- An individual has the opinion that only he and no one else can bear the title “best”.
- A great desire to be the first in everything, not to make mistakes.
- Having high self-esteem, a person expresses his point of view even when he is not asked to do so. He believes that others are always interested in his opinion on any issue.
- The personal pronoun is often used in speech.
- With any failures or mistakes, a feeling of irritability and confusion sets in. A person easily goes off course.
- Increasing self-esteem is characterized by a disdainful attitude towards other people's criticism. A different opinion is perceived as disrespect, so you should not pay attention to it.
- Failure to soberly consider risks. A self-confident person often takes on complex matters that are fraught with certain dangers.
- Fear of looking insecure, weak, helpless.
- High level of egoism.
- Personal interests and needs always come first.
- A person often interrupts his interlocutor because he is used to talking more than listening.
- With signs of self-confidence, an individual tends to teach others, even in small things.
- Arrogant tone.
High level of self-esteem in men
Inflated self-esteem in men is common and is a problem both for the individual himself and for those around him. Such a person is accustomed to exaggerating his merits.
High self-esteem is determined by the following characteristics:
- High sense of self-worth.
- The man does not pay any attention to criticism, even reasoned criticism. It doesn’t occur to a man that he might not understand something. He is completely confident that he knows everything better than anyone.
- A person can afford to mock those who, in his opinion, do not deserve respect.
- The need for constant admiration for oneself. If this does not happen, the man becomes despondent.
- The desire to be the best everywhere and in everything.
- Confidence in your own uniqueness and originality.
- A high level of self-esteem does not allow you to feel what compassion is. If you can already do all this, then this feeling is short-lived.
- The conviction that everyone around him is jealous.
- Demonstration of fictitious achievements in order to increase self-esteem.
- Arrogant behavior, vanity, pronounced selfishness.
- Mercantile interests. Inflated material demands and desires.
- Irritability, anger if someone turns out to be better than him.
- Disguising your negative traits and sides.
- Commanding tone of communication. Such people often tell others how and what to do.
- Inability to accept refusals and failures. If the situation has taken an unpleasant and unexpected turn, the man does not know what to do. He becomes confused and depressed.
- Excessive touchiness. A man is easily offended if he does not receive due admiration for his “merits.”
- Tendency to swear and scandals. Such men love to take revenge if someone crosses their path.
- Excessive narcissism. Self-confident men believe that they are the most attractive, and this gives them the right to disdain the people around them.
- The need for complete control. Such men have a great need for power. They like to feel independent. This is how they show their masculine essence. Otherwise, they feel wounded and inferior.
- Idealization of yourself, your life.
Inflated self-esteem in men gives rise to such a problem as the constant desire for success and universal love at any cost. After such a man achieves a certain financial position and occupies a high place in society, he considers his ambitions satisfied.
Rules for forming adequate self-esteem
There are several rules for developing good self-esteem:
- Awareness plays a significant role on the path of transformation. It is important to soberly assess your external and internal data. To do this, it is recommended to look at yourself from the outside more often. You need to carefully analyze your weaknesses and strengths.
- You should learn to respect the opinions of others and appreciate their merits. Many of them can be excellent specialists in their field.
- It is recommended that you learn to accept constructive criticism. Resentment is the most wrong reaction in such a situation.
- When completing tasks, you need to set high goals, but under no circumstances should you get upset or panic if something goes wrong.
- It's important to remember that everyone has flaws.
- Self-criticism is a good cure for incorrect self-assessments. It is useful for working on yourself and achieving new results.
- It is recommended to become realistic. What is important here is the understanding that a person cannot be perfect always and in everything.
- In your activities, you should take into account not only your own satisfaction from the work done, but also the opinions of others.
- It is important to allow yourself to make mistakes. Wrong decisions are not a disaster, but only a lesson for the future. You should also remember about personal responsibility for all consequences.
- It is not recommended to compare yourself with others, to argue whether the person working next to you is good or bad.
Inflated self-esteem makes a person arrogant, confident that the people around him owe him something. The individual makes inadequate conclusions about himself, overestimating his own importance. Any deviation from adequate self-esteem is a problem for a person. It is always important to soberly assess yourself and your potential.