How to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, advice from a psychologist, how to change your life for the better, psychology

What influences self-esteem in a woman’s life?

According to psychologists, problems with self-esteem can affect all areas of a woman’s life:

success in the professional field;
communication with friends, colleagues and relatives;
well-being of family life;
physical and psychological health.

How to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem?
Advice from a psychologist will help. Statistics show that women are more susceptible to low self-esteem than men. The interesting thing is that almost every woman knows whether she has problems in this matter or not.

Give tasks according to age

Several completed assignments in an instant raise a child’s self-esteem, while failure in them, on the contrary, deprives him of self-confidence. Give your child tasks strictly according to his age; he should be able to cope with them easily. The same goes for toys and learning aids. You should not offer your child difficult and complex construction sets and puzzles if he is simply not old enough to use them yet. After all, if he cannot cope with them, then the desire to take on something new will disappear.

Age-appropriate tasks and assignments, on the contrary, will serve as incentive and motivation. In this case, the child will want to make an effort to complete them. The more and better he begins to do, the more self-confident he will grow. Such small victories, imperceptible at first glance, work real miracles in the emotional state of the baby and the development of his character.

Author: iarriba
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Self-attitude test

Psychological tests help to accurately determine whether a person has problems with self-esteem.

If it turns out that self-esteem is underestimated, then it is necessary to carry out work to improve the personality.

The test presented below will give an accurate determination of the level of attitude towards oneself. You must answer all questions honestly and immediately count your points. At the end of the test, all points are summed up. The resulting figure will show what level the survey participant belongs to.

Test: Determining the level of self-esteem

Do you often think that you shouldn’t have done or said something?

Yes, often – 1 point;
No, not often – 3 points.

When communicating with a witty and excellent interlocutor, you:

Do everything to surpass him in wit - 5 points;
You won’t want to take part in such a competition, thereby showing the superiority of your interlocutor -1 point.

Which opinion suits you best?

No luck, anything can be achieved only through hard work – 5 points;
Success comes only through a happy coincidence – 1 point;
In difficult situations, luck and persistence will not help. Real help comes from a person who can console and encourage – 3 points.

How will you feel when you see your funny caricature?

You will laugh heartily, noticing the good similarity - 3 points;
You will be upset, but you won’t show it – 1 point;
Start making jokes at the expense of your interlocutor in response – 4 points.

Do you often do work alone that should be done by several people?

Yes – 1 point;
No – 5 points;
I don't know 3 points.

What perfume will you choose as a gift for your friend?

Those that you like - 5 points;
Those that you don’t like, but, in your opinion, your friend will like – 3 points;
Those that were recently seen in a commercial - 1 point.

Do you often imagine situations in which you behave in ways that you would never behave in real life?

Yes – 1 point;
No – 5 points;
I don't know 3 points.

Your young work colleague has achieved better results at work than you. Will this upset you?

Yes – 1 point;
No – 5 points;
Not very good – 3 points.

Do you enjoy disagreeing with someone?

Yes – 5 points;
No – 1 point;
I don’t know – points.

Close your eyes and try to imagine any of the colors. You submitted:

Light blue, dark blue, white – 1 point;
Green, yellow – 3 points;
Black, red – 5 points.

How to calculate test results

If the score is from 38 to 50 , then your self-esteem is too high. You are a confident and satisfied person. Both in social circles and in everyday life, you often emphasize your “I”, put your personal opinion above others and try to dominate your interlocutors. Criticizing others is common, but you don't care what they think about you. “I don’t love others, but I love myself.” The closer your number is to 50, the more this phrase suits you. High self-esteem prevents you from accepting criticism.
If the total score is from 24 to 37 , then your self-esteem is adequate. You completely trust yourself, and your life is filled with agreement with yourself. You can always find a way out of difficult situations. You are usually happy with yourself and the people around you. You can always be a support for your loved ones and colleagues.
If the score is from 10 to 23 , then your self-esteem is underestimated. You are not at all happy with yourself. Your intelligence, appearance, achievements, abilities, age and even gender provoke dissatisfaction and doubts in you. It is difficult for you to succeed at work and the opinions of others seriously affect your life.

Any woman, having realized that she belongs to the third group, must do everything to become self-confident. To increase self-esteem, you need to understand the reasons that led to this.

6Live for your pleasure

Don't adapt to people, you shouldn't care about their opinions. You won’t be good to everyone anyway, accept that there will be those who don’t like you. And also, according to opinion polls, a person considers himself less beautiful than others think about him. Is it worth it to be so nervous about your appearance if your flaws can only be in your head?

You will never penetrate someone else's consciousness, you will never be able to adapt to everyone's needs. But by enjoying life and smiling more often, you can attract others with your charm and charisma.

Causes of low self-esteem and ways to eliminate them

There are many reasons that will lead to a decrease in self-esteem. Among the most common are the following:

improper upbringing in childhood;
frequent failures in childhood;
no specific goals in life;
unhealthy surrounding society;
various diseases and defects of appearance.

It is necessary to analyze each cause in more detail to find a way to eliminate it. Only by getting rid of them can you achieve results.

Improper upbringing in the family

The bulk of psychological deficiencies begin in early childhood. Poor self-esteem is no exception. It is caused by excessively high demands from parents, reproaches, criticism, lack of affection and praise. If a child gets used to such an attitude, then in the future he will behave as if he deserved it.

Frequent failures in childhood

If parents do not support their child in case of failure, then their child’s attitude towards themselves will only worsen. Excessive demands from the father and mother usually lead to the child beginning to evaluate himself according to adult criteria. This leads to loss of self-satisfaction and disappointment in oneself.

The attitude of peers, who tend to make outcasts out of losers, also plays a significant role in this issue. This contributes to a loss of self-confidence and negatively affects self-esteem.

Lack of goals in life

In the absence of clear and realistic goals, both a child and an adult can become a person with a negative attitude towards themselves. If a person stops setting goals for himself, his life loses color. These people usually do not want to pay attention to their appearance, do not want to change anything, stop dreaming and, as a result, the level of self-esteem decreases.

Unhealthy social environment

Social circle plays a significant role in the formation of self-esteem in both adults and children. A healthy attitude towards oneself is formed where there is a good example to follow. But if you have uninitiated friends who constantly complain about life, criticize others and do not want to change anything in their lives, self-esteem will only worsen.

In such cases, it is necessary to radically change your social circle and get closer to people who strive for success, try to make their dreams come true, know how to overcome difficulties and constantly improve themselves.

Defects in appearance and health

In the case of defects in appearance and certain health problems, many children develop poor self-esteem. Such a child usually feels different from those around him. Often the situation is aggravated by the merciless ridicule and bullying of peers.

In such cases, eliminating these shortcomings will help improve self-esteem. If this is not possible, it is necessary to develop qualities in yourself that will help you become a self-confident, more developed and attractive person to others.

Try not to criticize

Criticism in the family harms the child’s psyche. From constant reproaches addressed to himself, he can become very withdrawn into himself. It will get to the point that the child will simply stop sharing his experiences or successes with his parents. The connection between them will be lost, which will be very difficult to restore in the future. A child’s self-esteem only falls from picky critical remarks addressed to him. Therefore, do not judge him, but rather talk calmly. Discuss with your child the reasons for his failure, be objective.

Instead of judging him for his poor grades at school, clarify the situation. Perhaps he simply did not understand the topic or lacks motivation to study. Become kind and understanding mentors to him so as not to lose trust. Comments should be accurate and fair, then the child will be able to admit the mistake himself and prevent it in the future, from which his confidence will only grow.

Methods for increasing self-esteem and self-confidence

The following are methods that will help every woman become more confident and increase her level of self-esteem. This work may take only a few months - this is the statement of psychologists. The main thing is to have the desire and desire for results.

“After all, you are worth it” - this advertising slogan may well become the motto of a woman who is deciding how to increase self-esteem and become self-confident.

Yes, a woman needs confidence that she deserves the best - self-esteem, love and respect from others, personal growth, success in life. It is important to develop this confidence in yourself, and there are proven methods for this. Take action!

Stop criticizing yourself

There are no perfect people, and you are no exception. But you can’t constantly criticize yourself for your shortcomings. Self-criticism is a useful quality, but within reasonable limits.

To overcome a negative attitude towards yourself, psychologists advise making a detailed list of your strengths and periodically re-reading it. Stop criticizing yourself, learn to praise yourself. A self-confident person is distinguished not by the absence of shortcomings, but by the ability not to pay attention to them.

Learn to accept praise

The ability to accept praise is a mandatory quality of a confident woman. Excessive modesty is just as harmful as its lack. A compliment received with dignity and gratitude is pleasant for both parties.

Stop making excuses

There will definitely be someone who doesn't like something in your life. There are two possible scenarios here. If you are wrong—for example, your boss is dissatisfied with a poor-quality project—don’t look for excuses. Admit and correct the mistake. The ability to admit that you are wrong is a sign of a strong person who is capable of taking responsibility for his actions.

But you don't have to try to please everyone around you. For example, if someone doesn't like the way you dress, you don't have to make excuses. It's your life, and only you can decide whose opinion matters to you.

Learn to ask for help

The ability to ask for help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. A weak person does not ask for help because of fear of refusal, fear of being in debt, false shame and other fears. A confident woman is not afraid to ask, calmly endures refusal and thanks for help with a sincere smile.

Start small - ask to hold the door, bring a heavy bag, explain some nuance. Even if you hear “no,” it’s not a disaster, but a new experience that will make you stronger. Don't be shy to ask for help. And help yourself.

Bring your work to completion

You cannot succeed if you give up after the first difficulties. Unfinished business and unrealized plans significantly reduce self-esteem. Successfully overcoming difficulties is a great way to improve it.

A few rules that will help with this:

think about your motivation. Morning exercises – a slim figure, a completed project – a bonus received, etc.;
don't try to do everything at once. For example, learn a new language for 20 minutes, but every day. The main thing is to start taking action;
find like-minded people. Or an example to follow;
Don’t forget to praise yourself – even for small successes.

Learn to love your body

In modern society, appearance plays a significant role. But you don't have to have a flawless body to be successful in life. There are plenty of examples on the Internet of successful, charismatic people whose appearance is far from perfect.

Accept and love yourself - you are unique. A state of harmony will give you confidence - and this will definitely affect the attitude of others.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, play sports

A healthy lifestyle and regular exercise are essential for women deciding how to become confident and increase self-esteem. It has been scientifically proven that physical activity stimulates the production of dopamine, the “happy hormone.” A healthy lifestyle and sports improve the quality of life, improve health, improve appearance, and have a positive effect on the state of the nervous system.

Take care of your appearance

A self-confident woman is distinguished by her well-groomed appearance. She loves herself and takes care of herself. Going to a beauty salon is an excellent remedy for depression. Get an elegant haircut and update your wardrobe. Consider it an investment in your successful future.

Communicate with optimists and successful people

If there are people around you who live by inertia, then they will ridicule all your ambitions. Limit such contacts to a minimum.

Look for successful, active and inspired people, like-minded people. Where? In the gym, at exhibitions, seminars, trainings, online. Purposeful, confident, strong people will serve as excellent motivation for personal growth.

Learn to leave your “comfort zone”

The “comfort zone” is a place that is not so much convenient as it is familiar. For example, the usual nightly watching of TV series on the sofa at home. The “comfort zone” is stuffy and cramped, but familiar and safe.

Break the comfortable stereotype. Start small - return home by an unusual route. Instead of lying on the couch, go to the pool, go to the theater, sign up for courses. New sensations, knowledge, acquaintances are a powerful incentive for building self-confidence.

Read positive literature

When you decide to make your life more positive, protect it from negative experiences as much as possible. Don't read news full of negativity. Yes, and serious, but too realistic literature should be avoided.

Nowadays it’s quite possible to treat yourself to “fairy tales for adults” - novels with a good ending, humorous detective stories, etc. It will be very useful to read specialized literature on developing self-esteem.

Find your dream job

Changing jobs is a very serious step, which can only be taken after preparation. First, give yourself a break—say, a week of vacation. And only by shedding the accumulated negativity can you make a decision. Maybe you like the work, but the team is not very close-knit? Or did your relationship with your superiors not work out? Then submit your resume and look for the same vacancy, but in different conditions.

What if you realized that you are doing the wrong thing? Again, take your time. Decide what you like and start taking action. Attend courses, study literature, meet experts. And life will definitely give you a chance.

Live by desires

Modern life is filled with advertising that imposes pseudo-desires on us, but don’t let yourself be controlled. Decide what you want in this life, and every day take at least a small step in the right direction.

Do you want to hang glider? Look for information, specialists - and it’s quite possible to spend your next vacation in the sky.

Don't be jealous of other people's successes

You shouldn't compare your life to someone else's. The glossy life that is so easy to observe on social networks can turn out to be a beautiful package hiding a bunch of problems. Other people's success should not frighten or cause envy, but inspire and teach. Don’t compare yourself with someone, compare yourself – yesterday and today.

Give up laziness

Water does not flow under a lying stone - this saying is still relevant today. A confident woman will not allow laziness to ruin her life. If you want to achieve something, take action. There are many ways to deal with laziness: break things down into component parts, accompany work with music, come up with rewards, etc. Choose your method and implement it.

What gives you confidence? The Mindful Emote in The Sims 4

One of the emotional states in The Sims 4 that a Sim can be in is “Attentive.” It can be normal or enhanced (“Very Attentive”).

The attentive state gives more advantages than disadvantages and overtakes characters quite often. What Makes You Feel Mindful in The Sims 4 When Sims are in a mindful mood, certain skills come easily to them. That is, in this state you should improve your skills in gardening, mechanics, logic, fishing, programming, rocket science and

Children will be able to improve their grades. It is in an attentive state that it is advisable for those Sims who are building a career as a doctor, detective, scientist, astronaut, secret agent or technical specialist to go to work. An attentive character wins more often at chess. If you don’t have enough fish of a rare species for your collection, then send your Sim fishing in an attentive state.

Repairing and improving electrical appliances is also better in this mood, then the likelihood of electric shock is reduced. Only in an attentive state does the possibility of such interaction with the easel as “Creating mathematical diagrams” appear. This image gives an aura of attentiveness. When the Mindful Emote Appears in Sims 4 For your Sim to gain the Mindful state, you must:• Surround yourself with the appropriate environment. For example, collectibles or paintings created in a state of mindfulness. • Interact with the chessboard - play with someone or spend time thinking about a move. You can also play cards.

• Bookworms can combine business with pleasure by reading books such as “Self-Control. Vain Efforts" and "Sharpening Attention". • The microscope also helps to become attentive. With its help you need to study slides of crystals, various plants or metals. • If there is an observatory on the site, that’s good too! To get the right mood, just look at the stars. • Once your Sim reaches the highest level of Mechanical Skill, they will be able to become attentive when repairing or upgrading items. You can also carve it on wood. If the character is not yet so experienced in mechanics, then he needs to find a mentor with the highest level of skill. • If you have a Bonsai in a pot at home or at work, then in order to become attentive, it is enough to improve it - trim it. • Sometimes talking to the future cube about scientific mysteries helps achieve mindfulness. • You can drink a Focus Potion from the Reward Shop, or use a Mindfulness Extract. The latter is one of the essences of the ruminant plant. You can also drink strong black tea. Finally, it is worth noting that characters who have such a character trait as “Genius” quickly become attentive. Text:.Editor:.Screenshots:,.

Advice from a psychologist: how to change your life for the better

To understand how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, you should take the help of professional psychologists. Special methods, trainings, and exercises have been developed to solve these problems.

Use your positive qualities

Make a list of your positive qualities and analyze them. Realize the enormous potential you have. Think about how you can use these qualities in your daily life. Work on their development.

Listen to affirmations

Affirmations are a brief formulation of your desires as a fact that has come true. This is an effective form of self-hypnosis, programming the subconscious, carried out through concentrated repeated repetition of verbal phrases.

Affirmations should be formulated very carefully, putting in them the quintessence of your desires, so that their repetition forms the desired attitude.

They can be repeated or listened to in a recording. Examples of wording: “I am confident,” “I love and am loved,” “I am talented and successful.”

Diary of successes and achievements

An effective tool is a diary. Every day you need to record all your achievements, regardless of their scale. Keeping such records and their subsequent analysis is a good incentive for a woman, helping to become self-confident and increase self-esteem.

Practical exercises

Meditation

You should meditate in a calm environment, without external stimuli. Find a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Now, with each exhalation, get rid of negative impressions.

Visualize the negative and imagine how it dissolves, giving way to calmness and optimism. Having a positive attitude, imagine yourself as you would like to see. Take your time and carefully draw the image.

Movements, intonation, facial expressions, posture - work out every detail. Try to convey love and support to the created image.

This exercise takes 10-15 minutes. You can do it in the morning or evening, without haste. Regular meditation will gradually consolidate this ideal in the mind, transferring its features to a real image.

Autotraining

Auto-training can be effectively used to calm down in a stressful situation, tune in to solving a difficult task, and gain self-confidence. To do this, the appropriate affirmations are spoken out loud or silently.

For maximum effectiveness, auto-training is best done in a calm environment, completely relaxed, saying affirmations out loud for 10-15 minutes. But this technique can also help in work environments: even in crowded places, you can calm down by simply closing your eyes and repeating affirmations to yourself several times.

Psychological trainings

They are aimed at adapting to society, or rather, at developing immunity to public opinion. Of course, the opinions of others must be taken into account, but it should not completely subordinate your personality.

This requires inner strength, self-confidence, and self-worth. Here are three simple trainings:

Learn not to be afraid of the public and even manage it. And to do this, do not hesitate to speak in front of a large audience. Use every opportunity: a song with a guitar by the fire, an anecdote in a company, a report at work, a presentation of a product to customers. Gradually, you will get rid of your complexes, feel confident, and learn to command an audience - an excellent quality for career growth.
"Double". This requires imagination. If you don’t feel comfortable in public, and you can’t overcome this complex, imagine yourself in the role of your favorite “star”, for whom communication is an everyday reality. Conduct yourself with the same relaxed freedom. Maybe not right away, but it will happen. And over time, you won’t even need a double.
Confidence no matter what. Props are required for this training. Add an absurd detail to your look (old-fashioned glasses, curlers, a provocative jacket) and go outside. Go shopping, communicate, walk with an absolutely calm look. This is a powerful tool, so start with small details.

Experiments

It is not clear how to raise a child without experimenting. Stability, predictability and reliability are important, but when the baby is in a good and contented mood, it is better to give him the opportunity to try new things. Even when things seem to be beyond his capabilities. You can allow him to do independent things that he really wants. For example, ride a bike, close the lock, water the plants, turn on the washing machine, warm up food, etc. The point is not to teach him this in such a short time, but to give him the experience of fearlessly turning impulse into action. Uncertainty is the fear of turning desire into action. Therefore, experiments are the best way to teach your baby to do new things. It is important that he has the appropriate mood, and everything is done under the supervision of a parent.

10 books that will tell you how to increase your self-esteem

Books can tell you how to become a confident woman and increase self-esteem.

Louise Hay "Heal Your Life";
Larisa Parfentyeva “100 ways to change your life”;
Brian Tracy "Self-Esteem";
Dale Carnegie "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living";
Dale Carnegie, How to Build Confidence and Influence People in Public Speaking;
Vladimir Levi “The Art of Being Yourself”;
Sergey Mamontov “Believe in yourself. Self-confidence training";
Helen Andelin "The Charm of Femininity";
Rafael Santandreu “How not to turn your life into a nightmare”;
Sharon Wegshida-Cruz "How Much Are You Worth? How to learn to love and respect yourself."

Movies for motivation and self-confidence

Cinema has repeatedly addressed the theme of a strong woman.

“The Devil Wears Prada”, USA 2006;
“Eat, Pray, Love”, USA 2010;
“Another Boleyn Girl”, UK 2008;
“The Barber of Siberia”, Russia, Italy 1998;
“Moscow does not believe in tears”, USSR 1979.

How to become confident in communicating with a man?

A confident woman attracts men. She knows how to communicate, not being afraid to express her point of view, which makes her an interesting interlocutor. Like all strong people, she knows how to give in, without considering it a sign of weakness. She knows how to emphasize her strengths, and leaves her shortcomings in the shadows. She knows how, if necessary, to insist on her own, but at the same time she will be able not to offend her partner.

A confident woman always knows her worth. She will not tolerate unacceptable behavior from a man, and will be able to say this delicately but firmly. She will not grumble about any reason, but will clearly formulate her dissatisfaction while remaining polite. Even in a difficult situation, she will be able to remain calm.

Perhaps not everything is working out as planned yet. Don't despair, develop confidence in your abilities, and everything will definitely work out!

How to gain confidence after a separation or divorce?

This is a difficult period even for strong women. The following will help you survive it with minimal losses:

close people. It is advisable that during this period they are nearby, able to listen and support;
hobby. It will help you get distracted;
new impressions. Take a walk, go to exhibitions, to the cinema - new impressions will gradually displace the bitterness of the past;
trips. It's great if there is such an opportunity. The sharper the change of scenery, the better.

Breaking up with a man is not a reason to be disappointed in yourself. Your life goes on.

Important Additions

One should never discount the physiological characteristics of children and their temperament. The innate characteristics of the body affect the reactions of babies, making him overly impressionable, restless or irritated. Under no circumstances should you shame a child by setting one of the children as an example. It is better to compare it with yourself at other times.

Tags:Parenting

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If a child fights with parents or peers - what to do?
Secrets of raising a son as a father
Typical mistakes parents make in raising children
Relationships: children and parents

How to become a confident mother?

The birth of a child changes life dramatically and forever. What can I recommend:

do not lose calm and confidence despite your lack of experience. You will very quickly learn how to care for your baby, your experience will grow with your child, and soon you will be able to give advice yourself;
gratefully accept the advice and help of the older generation, but the final word in the education process remains with you;
don't forget about yourself. Involve your husband and other loved ones and find time for yourself - go to the hairdresser, take a bath, get some sleep;
value communication with your child. Rejoice at his smiles, first teeth and steps, and discover this wonderful world with him.

The life of a modern woman is varied and eventful. To become self-confident and achieve success, it is enough to believe in yourself, in your strengths, and begin to act.

The successes achieved will increase your self-esteem, strengthen your self-confidence - and inspire you to new achievements. After all, you really deserve it!

Encourage curiosity

Independence, along with confidence, is considered an important life character trait. To develop it, the child must be able to show interest and curiosity. Parents should encourage their children's desire to learn new things and experiment. Hobbies, hobbies, sports clubs and clubs - all this helps the child take initiative and think independently. If a favorite activity or hobby suddenly ceases to interest a child, then you should not scold him for it. Children can quickly switch their attention to a new hobby, because their curiosity knows no bounds.

Encourage the desire to learn something different. And also praise your child for his desire to help you in everyday life, even if he is not very good at it. The more he tries new things and takes initiative, the better this will affect his confidence in the future.