How self-programming works
We have already written about techniques such as visualization and affirmation. I still don't have much faith in these two methods. And despite this, I was personally convinced that these methods really work in practice. I am not inclined to give the same visualization any magical properties of the power of the universe, as they talk about in the film “The Secret”. I think that a person achieves his goals thanks to the power of the subconscious. You set a clear goal, visualize it, and over time your brain finds a solution to the problem.
How to learn to enjoy the little things
Decide on what you want
People need to constantly know what they want. Each person needs different things to be happy. The question is, what exactly do you need? If something doesn’t suit you in life, then you need to fight it, not put up with it. Make your life more beautiful without waiting for manna from heaven. Change for the better what you can, leaving behind useless indignation.
Live in the moment
It is very important in life to live in the present, then a person will become truly happy. Let go of the past, don't constantly think about the future, live here and now.
Learn to give
Giving is creativity, caring for loved ones, and the ability to forgive.
Envy is a bad quality
Don't be jealous, but set realistic goals for yourself and develop a plan to achieve them.
Your disadvantages are advantages
Learn to giggle at your mistakes and shortcomings.
To a good greeting, a kind and answer
Do good without expecting reward. This will make your life more interesting.
The influence of others on us
It is also necessary to remember that many people around us influence our mood and behavior. Protect yourself from people who always complain about life and don’t see bright colors in it. Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are!
“A penny saves the ruble”
If you enjoy even the smallest things, be it good weather or a small pleasant surprise, then it will become much easier to perceive everything with optimism and even enjoy life to the fullest.
How to become an optimist
First of all, you should stop and look around. What do you say to others and what do you think about? If you complain a lot for no reason, or if there are a lot of people around you with negative thoughts and words, then this is the first signal. something to think about. First, just stop whining and complaining. Otherwise, the effect of a “ self-fulfilling prophecy ” may work. This is when negative thoughts eventually materialize. The power of thought is often underestimated. Moreover, you should control not only your words, but also try to monitor your own thoughts.
In addition, if you constantly whine, your surroundings are unlikely to like it either. It is much better to stick to an active lifestyle. Don't have enough money for something? Do something to make your salary go up. Did not work out? Do something else. For example, ask for a raise. If it doesn’t help, change your job to a better paying one. Active actions are much more valuable.
How to become an optimist - 7 tips
1. FOLLOW YOUR THOUGHTS
Whether you are in an upbeat or depressed mood largely depends on how you perceive difficulties. Anything can happen in life - both good and bad. IT IS IMPORTANT HOW YOU TREAT SUCH SITUATIONS.
We are not able to think positively all the time. But what we absolutely can do is pay attention to our feelings.
Having noticed negative thoughts, we can say to ourselves: “Again, you’re on your own” or “I know, I know, this is all the tricks of my pessimistic brain. In fact, it’s probably not that bad.” This makes it easier to curb negative thoughts and take them less seriously. This means they have less power over us.
2. BATH IN THE MORNING
Have you ever tried swimming and moping at the same time? Try it - you won't succeed.
SHORT-TERM INSURANCE IN COLD WATER WORKS AS AN ANTIDEPRESSANT.
It is best to swim in the morning - then good spirits and high spirits are guaranteed for the whole day. It's summer, there are many rivers and lakes in the country, so why not use this free way to feel better?
If there is no body of water nearby, try dousing yourself with cool water in the shower. You will see, the effect is wonderful!
3. TAKE CARE OF SOMEONE
Scientists have proven that by doing good, we become happier. By helping others overcome problems, we are distracted from our own sad thoughts and begin to believe that everything can be fixed.
The Swedes even have a saying: “If you want to be happy, learn to give joy to others.”
You don't need to perform the labors of Hercules to help others. Sometimes simple actions mean a lot and bring out the brightest smiles. Feeding homeless animals or making a bird feeder, taking things to a nursing home, organizing a cleanup day or donating money to good causes are very worthy feats.
4. CHANGE YOUR FOCUS
Pessimism often sets in when we focus on the negative aspects of life. Our apartment is a bit cramped, our hair is not perfect, we have a nasty client at work...
But let's look at life from the most distant, maximum distance. Many things that seemed very important are compressed into tiny points that can hardly spoil the overall picture.
A good life is possible if we look at it from time to time through a zooming lens.
“Nothing in life is as important as you think it is - as long as you think about it,” says Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman.
The more we focus on a particular aspect of our life, the more we appreciate its impact on our life. Instead of focusing on the little things, look at life more often through a zooming lens. Surely you will notice that the overall picture is very good.
5. LEARN TO SUPPORT PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
Pessimism and apathy often come with the feeling that we have no control over our lives.
We are torn between work, relationships, family and daily routine. We are trying to do everything at the same time, keep our promises, and pay off our debts. We get upset that we don’t have time for something worthwhile: spending time with loved ones or being alone without feeling guilty. It is difficult to feel optimistic in such conditions.
All of these problems indicate that you do not have strong enough personal boundaries.
Pay attention to relationships and your role in them. Think about where you agreed to something you wouldn’t want to do, where you sacrificed your interests. There your boundaries are violated.
LEARN TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - this way you will gain freedom and feel that there are much more reasons for optimism.
6. MAKE PREDICTIONS
Our brain loves to make predictions. This activates the zone responsible for pleasure and increases the content of dopamine, one of the hormones of happiness.
This happens because the forecast has two possible outcomes:
- You may be right - and that’s great!
- Or you will be wrong - and this will give you information that will help you make a more accurate forecast next time. Surprisingly, this is also good: after all, the brain loves to learn.
It doesn’t matter whether you are wrong or right - you are guaranteed a dose of dopamine.
If you tend to think about the bad, imagine the worst thing that could happen today. Let's say you are offended, insulted, ignored, fired from your job, spilled on your coffee in the subway... Make your own terrible forecast.
And then see what happens. If the forecast comes true, you can say to yourself: “Ha, I knew it! I'm damn visionary! If not, you will be glad that reality is not as terrible as you imagined.
7. MAKE SOMEONE SMILE
You've probably heard (and experienced) that emotions are contagious. Next to a sad person we feel sad, next to a cheerful person we feel better. Use this feature of the brain - make sure that someone is always smiling nearby.
Set a goal: to make at least one person laugh every day.
Cheer the child. Find a funny story for your coworkers. Remind a friend of a fun adventure that happened to you as a child. Watch a comedy with your loved one.
If you have someone cheerful next to you every day, life will become more joyful. Before you know it, not a trace of pessimism will remain, and the glass will become half full.
How to become an optimist in life
June 4, 2020 at 11:53 am
Optimism, like any other psychological state, is an attitude that you can form and develop in yourself. It is interesting and useful to understand how your psychological attitudes were influenced by childhood experiences, but in no case should you assume that they predetermine your future and nothing can be done about it. Take a few minutes to figure out what you're thinking.
About yourself, about your abilities and potential. Just answer the following questions, and then decide whether you need to do something about the way you feel about yourself and your life.
What are your psychological attitudes?
Complete the following sentences, writing down the first thing that comes to mind. Give five answers for each phrase.
I learned from my father that I...
I learned from my father that life...
I learned from my mother that I...
I learned from my mother that life...
I think what's holding me back in life is...
I would like to believe that...
A psychological state that would really support me on my life’s path is...
Thoroughly analyze the information received. The most important phrases are the last two. We are talking about beliefs and psychological attitudes that you want to introduce into your consciousness, make part of your worldview and practical activities.
I have already emphasized how important it is not to consider yourself a failure if something does not work out as expected, but to focus on a deep analysis of the situation. The main message is this: optimism is the key to resilience. If you see yourself as a failure, especially if you haven’t even started yet, then you are setting yourself up for problems. Remember that neither beliefs nor abilities are something given once and for all.
Optimism lengthens life
An optimist lives better. Being an optimist does not mean being an idiot who closes his eyes to the facts of the world around him. To be an optimist means to understand that you can handle it and find a winning move in any situation. Even if you are not by nature an optimist, you can, by working on yourself, by an effort of will, transfer yourself into this category. You can do it. I have helped many people change their way of thinking. And I know that this can and should be done!
If you need more evidence, look at studies that show that optimists live longer than pessimists. A well-known study was conducted at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, where scientists followed 839 patients for forty years and concluded that optimists had a 19 percent longer life expectancy. Gibby Bean, whom we'll soon meet, is living proof that perseverance combined with optimism can improve the quality and length of life.
Optimists tend to pay more attention to their health. In addition, positivism helps the immune system fight disease and slows down the aging process. And people who stubbornly fight for their health tend to live longer than those who give up and give up.
Keep going strong no matter your age
Sometimes it happens that the later success comes to a person, the better. This is certainly true of former actor Ron McLarty, who, at age fifty-six, wrote The Memory of Running, a book that catapulted him to overnight fame. For many years, Ron sat in his basement for days and wrote books and plays by hand. “Now they say they adore me, that I’m a genius. With age you begin to understand life. If such luck had struck me at twenty-six instead of fifty-six, I might have gone crazy, but now I know what it’s worth. As you get older, you begin to understand everything better and get more joy from everything.”
Recently, director Alfonso Cuaron, who directed the last Harry Potter film, took on the film adaptation of “Memories of a Runner.” Interestingly, Ron was prompted to write this book by the death of his parents in a car accident. “I didn’t want to grieve alone with a bottle of vodka,” he says. Unable to find anyone willing to publish his book, he agreed with an audiobook publisher that, using his acting skills, he would record his book on disc, and then, for free, several others at the publisher’s choice. A year and a half later, Stephen King, after listening to a recording of Memoirs of a Runner, declared that this book was destined to become a bestseller. The rest, as they say, is history.
Ron McLarty had incredible tenacity. For many years he did not receive moral support from anyone. Those close to him only made fun of his passion for writing. “The publishers did not even return my manuscripts to me, although I specifically sent a self-addressed and stamped envelope.” Despite everything, Ron continued to write every day from five to ten in the morning. “This activity never tired me, although my friends called me crazy. Sometimes publishers sent me official rejections. I was terribly happy to receive at least such responses.”
It happens that a person needs a lot of time to achieve a certain degree of perfection in something. Franklin Roosevelt was one of the most popular politicians. He is the only US president in history to be re-elected to third and fourth terms – in 1940 and 1944. He was a great speaker and knew how to make an impression. He loved meeting ordinary people, and they loved him. But in his youth he was a completely different person, a clumsy and not very charming bore. One of his longtime acquaintances, who later worked in his administration, recalled: “In those years, it would never have occurred to anyone that they were seeing the future president of the United States.” In 1921, Roosevelt fell victim to polio. The recovery process was slow and required superhuman efforts. But Roosevelt did not give up and in 1928 became governor of New York, and in 1932 - president of the United States. His wife Eleanor explains the changes in him that transformed him into a charismatic and beloved leader:
Perhaps it was the long battle with polio that shaped my husband’s character, giving him strength and wisdom - qualities that he did not have in his youth. Seeing the strength of his spirit, the Americans trusted him completely when they found themselves in difficult situations, and when he said that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” they knew that he believed what he was saying. He overcame his fear and achieved success.
