An unstable financial situation, death of relatives, loss of work or real estate, family problems - all this can become the starting point for the development of depressive conditions. Men cannot live under stress for long, so they file for divorce, start drinking alcohol, or attempt suicide. Recommendations on how to get a man out of depression will help a woman save her husband or friend, giving him a chance for a normal, fulfilling life without mental pain.
Depression is a disease!
separation from a loved one, death of a loved one, some serious material losses.
It can also arise for no particular reason, simply due to the special psychotype of a person predisposed to such disorders. It should not be confused with the usual feelings that a person experiences every day as a reaction to what is happening: sadness, anger, bad mood. Depression is diagnosed if symptoms do not go away within two weeks. The patient does not always seek help and most often keeps his experiences to himself. Therefore, it is important to notice this condition in time and try to help your loved one. Depression poisons life, not only for the patient, but also for the people around him. How to get a person out of depression? Psychology and medicine are concerned about this issue; they even create support services staffed by specialists.
A depressed man - types of depression and methods of treatment
There can be many reasons for depression. This could include the loss of a job or a loved one, separation from a loved one, financial difficulties, or even moving. There may also be other reasons for depression. For example, a person does not know how to realize himself or is not able to build relationships with the opposite sex. In other words, there can be many reasons. Let's figure out how to treat this disease!
Of course, when a mother is depressed, it affects the family. Children may be unkempt, and the husband also suffers from lack of attention and love. This also affects the economy. When a man, the breadwinner of the family, experiences a feeling of despondency, this is certainly noticeable in his financial condition. Indeed, in families where roles are distributed in a traditional way, he is primarily a support for those around him.
There are two types of depression: reactive and clinical. Reactive depression occurs when a person experiences some kind of strong emotional shock. For example, layoffs, or the loss of a loved one. Most often, this type of depression heals with time. A person realizes what happened, draws conclusions, grows morally, changes his attitude to the situation and moves on.
There is a second type of depression - clinical. It can last for years. A person withdraws into himself, withdraws from others and engages in soul-searching. In such a situation, you already need the help of a psychotherapist who can understand the reason for dissatisfaction with life. But there are also cases when a person outgrows the problem and finds a way out on his own. Optimism and interest in former hobbies and interests return to him again. But the most important thing is that he feels the ground under his feet and happily moves forward.
How to get a boyfriend, husband, man out of depression?
For many people, divorce is a big emotional shock. Is it possible to get a person out of depression after a divorce? Yes, if you direct his thoughts and actions in the right direction.
- We change the home environment. First of all, we get rid of old things that constantly remind us of our ex-spouse. It would be nice to make repairs, put up new wallpaper, change the furniture. If this is not possible, you can simply change the curtains or rearrange the furniture in a new way, add bright colors to the interior with the help of decorative elements. A new positive mood is on the way.
- Next you need to take care of yourself. A new hairstyle and hair color will do their job, since it will change your life, so completely that nothing reminds you of the past, and your gaze is directed only forward. You need to change your wardrobe, it’s best to change your image, allow yourself things that you were previously afraid to wear for some reason. They must fit and decorate the figure so that it is pleasant to look in the mirror.
- How to get a person out of depression? You need to occupy all your time with some active actions so that negative thoughts do not enter your head. This can be a job, especially if you like it and, after putting in the effort, will lead to career growth, you need to be results-oriented. Another option is your favorite hobby, especially if it can bring in money, this will add motivation to action in addition to pleasure.
- If there are children in a marriage, there is no need to blame either yourself or your ex-spouse for the fact that a full-fledged family did not work out. This is how life is, many people go through this.
- Do something forbidden that your husband would never allow. Enrolling in a dance school or jumping with a parachute, it can be anything that a woman has long dreamed of.
- There is no need to blame your ex-husband for all the sins, and cursing him for a ruined life makes no sense. We need to say “thank you” for all the years spent together, for the children we have together, if there are any, and for the freedom that has now appeared. For good health and a cheerful state of mind, look only forward and with optimism.
For a man, time after a divorce is more difficult. Having a hard time experiencing severe stress within himself, he tries not to show his pain. But the way out is to rethink everything that happened, realize your mistakes, draw conclusions and move on. But, afraid of appearing weak both to others and to himself, he prefers to distract himself from the problem, most often resorting to alcohol and casual sexual relationships.
But the problem does not go away, and prolonged depression can ultimately lead to alcoholism. Relatives should think about how to get a person out of depression after a divorce in order to avoid serious consequences. Outside help is very important in this matter, although the man himself may not admit it and reject all attempts to help him. But if he refuses help, how to get a person out of depression?
To support your girlfriend or wife, you must follow these recommendations:
- Talk about it. Women are more willing to admit that they are depressed. Try asking a few leading questions: “What happened?”, “When did it start?”, “How can I help you?” The conversation should reflect your position of participation and support in the girl’s problem, without any pressure on your part.
- Look at others. After you have found out the reason, try to choose a suitable film, similar to the girl’s situation, where in the end everything is resolved successfully. Women are much more susceptible to the experiences of other people, so the resolution of the situation by the hero on the screen will be partially perceived as personal.
- Let the girl be "weak". Ask the girl/woman about her upcoming activities and actively offer your help. Screwing in a light bulb, going to the store, cooking dinner - these are the little things that will bring a girl a feeling of care and allow her to feel like she is behind a stone wall.
You can fight a depressed state of mind with the help of shopping and friends. You need to convince your friend to start taking care of herself and taking care of her appearance.
The woman must be convinced that she needs to say goodbye to the past. A new life begins for her, which is full of many possibilities.
If your friend or husband is depressed, you should adhere to the following principles:
- You can't feel sorry for him. It is important for a man to realize his strength even in moments of weakness. Feelings of pity destroy self-confidence, so it should not be shown.
- Problems need to be identified. Representatives of the stronger sex often find it difficult to realize the existence of problems; they often keep them silent. A loved one should support the man and make it clear that the presence of difficulties and difficulties does not in any way affect his status in the eyes of others.
- Do not require confirmation of depression. Pressure and the desire to impose help will push a man away; he will withdraw into himself, which can cause his condition to worsen.
- Words of support. It is necessary to praise a person even over small things, say compliments and words of gratitude, and encourage them. It is necessary to point out strengths and support them in any endeavors.
People who are depressed should be spoken to calmly and confidently. Communication should be easy, you cannot put pressure on a person, shout at him or accuse him that he himself is to blame for his problems.
- Try to console and accept the position of the depressed young lady, even if it seems wrong. It is important for a woman to feel that she is not alone, that there is someone who agrees with her decision, someone who can support and protect. This way she can speak out and get rid of the negativity that has accumulated in her soul. It’s so important to get rid of mental burden.
- You need to be nearby, especially in those moments when a woman really needs someone's presence. If you personally cannot be near her at this moment, then you should provide support through correspondence, telephone or video communication.
- There is no need to talk about topics that provoke a depressive state unless the woman starts them herself.
- It is very important not to allow the young lady to be alone with her thoughts.
- Try not to criticize her. If you want to express something, be honest, but very gentle.
- Give a woman compliments, but make sure they are truthful. Each young lady has her own merits, and you need to pay attention to them. For example, say that she is a good friend or an excellent housewife, a good specialist in her field.
- Try to distract the woman from bad thoughts. This will help you:
- shopping - for many girls, shopping helps cope with bad emotions, buying new clothes;
- taking care of yourself, your body - every woman will be in a better mood if she gives herself a new manicure, hairstyle, cool makeup, goes for a walk, hears the admiring exclamations of men, this will increase her self-esteem and improve her mood;
- helping other women - all girls are prone to empathy, they will forget about their problems if they see that someone is in a much more serious condition;
- you can find a hobby that could lift your spirits and make you feel important;
- art therapy - together with a woman who is depressed, you can engage in creativity, the joint process will not allow you to think about bad things, with the help of art therapy she will be able to pour out what is painful;
- a change of scenery - for example, you can go on a trip, where there will be new emotions, new horizons will open up, which will awaken her interest in life.
If the wife is depressed:
- you need to show all kinds of attention;
- show her how much you love her;
- give compliments;
- give gifts;
- go on a trip;
- make sure that she can rest; if there are children, take care of them for a while or involve grandmothers.
Now you know how to help overcome depression. The main thing is that a person who is trying to improve the life of a depressed individual takes into account all possible points that can also harm a depressed person. Don’t forget about the possible consequences of depression and be prepared for them.
A depressed man - what to do right
First, you need to treat your man with understanding. No one is immune from failure. Men are not made of iron either, and the fact that they show their emotions means that they also have them. Everyone has moments of weakness.
As soon as he makes it clear that he needs your support, show it. Surround him with love and care. Show that no matter what, he remains strong and unique for you, and together you will go through fire, water and copper pipes. And accept him as he is now. Time will pass and your man will find a way out of the crisis situation.
Everything was fine, but then something happened, and it was as if he had been replaced. Behavior has changed dramatically, and it is unclear what the consequences of this are. You love him very much and want to help, so the first thing you do is go online.
You compare your observations with the articles and understand that the man has symptoms of depression. Making a diagnosis using materials from the Internet is not a problem today. The problem is different: how to recognize whether your loved one is really depressed, and if so, how to get a man out of depression.
Signs
Like any other disease, depression has its symptoms. You don’t have to be a specialist to notice them, especially with regular and close communication with the patient. This will help you understand how to get a person out of depression. It is quite possible to do this at home with careful attention.
- Emotional disorder. Manifests itself as severe emotional depression. This state combines feelings of anxiety, melancholy, depression, and despair. A person is completely immersed in his negative thoughts and experiences, and has no interest in the surrounding reality. The world seems gray and joyless, and life seems meaningless. Concentration is impaired, the speed of thinking decreases. A person may experience an unreasonable feeling of guilt, self-flagellation, dissatisfaction with himself and at the same time the fear of seeming incompetent or ridiculous in society. As a result, communication activity disappears, self-esteem decreases, and a desire to be alone appears. This is a dangerous sign when a person withdraws into himself. Previously interesting activities become indifferent; in a deeper stage, the patient ceases to experience pleasant feelings and emotions. Thoughts about suicide appear.
- Physiological disorders. The patient suffers from insomnia or, conversely, is constantly in a drowsy state. Loss of appetite, which can lead to constipation. Sometimes the opposite effect is observed - overeating. Muscle pain, weakness, fatigue, constant feeling of tiredness, and loss of sexual desire are observed. Against this background, alcohol abuse often occurs.
Male depression: when there is no honor and respect
And here is a man with an anal vector. As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, such a man strives to become a professional in his field. To do this, he is given all the properties from nature: perfectionism, attention to detail, perseverance
. And a slender body with long legs is of no use here. Such a man is squat, stocky, and his legs are often clubbed.
In the modern world with its values, it is more difficult for a man with an anal vector to find himself than for a man with a skin vector. If you want to live, know how to spin. But moving around deftly is not about the owner of the anal vector. Sometimes it happens due to improper development in childhood or again for some external reasons that a man with an anal vector loses honor and respect. Then he is covered with bad conditions.
Where does a professional in his field receive honor and respect? From implementation at work. He does not receive honor and respect if for some reason he is busy with something other than his own business or loses his job. At home - family, the first of his values, from which he also expects honor and respect, because he is the owner of the house. But what about being an owner who cannot provide for his family?
Sometimes an anal man is told from all sides that he needs to be cool and earn a lot of money. And he, not having such desires, follows the lead of others’ opinions. And it turns out that his own desires are not fulfilled. Huge stress, but still not depression. And yet, I don’t want to see this suffering and I want to understand how to get a man with an anal vector out of stress.
General rules on how to help a loved one
Now all the signs are obvious, and you need to immediately start getting help. But how to get a person out of depression? To get started, use general, simple treatment methods:
- Try to spend at least some time outside every day; daily walks are very important to increase the level of endorphin in the blood - the hormone of happiness. Make sure that daylight and fresh air enter the room.
- If your close friend or spouse is suffering, unobtrusively try to have a frank conversation; you need to do this carefully, without showing any desire to get into your soul. You need to listen and show that you are on his side, show support. If the patient manages to open up and speak out, this can in some cases replace a conversation with a psychologist.
- Keep a person busy with active sports. Going to the gym together can radically change the situation; playing sports raises self-esteem and improves mood, helping to regain the desire to live. A great option would be a bike ride - both sport and fresh air.
- Invite to a cafe, chat with mutual friends. Of course, in a state of depression it will be difficult to get the patient out in public; if it works, it’s a great success.
- Another effective way to get a person out of depression: changes must occur at home. Change the decor in the house, rearrange the furniture, hang new curtains, install a fragrance with your favorite scent. Prepare a new delicious dish. By the way, diet is also important in rehabilitation. Seafood, dark chocolate, and bananas help a lot.
- Great therapy is a trip. Going to another city and changing the environment is always useful. This will help you take a fresh look at life and the problem that caused depression. Country trips are also useful; you can go fishing or have a picnic.
The greatest shock, the most terrible event in life, is the death of a loved one. Unable to cope with their grief, people often fall into protracted, deep depression. You need to know how to get a person out of depression after the death of a loved one in order to be able to come to the rescue in time. At first, the most painful time, a person needs to be in society, talk to people, and not withdraw into himself. Although in most cases in such a situation you want to be alone with your grief.
Such loneliness should not be prolonged; it will not lead to anything good, but it can be difficult to convince a suffering person of this. All emotions need to be thrown out; if you want to cry or scream, you cannot restrain yourself. After some time comes humility and acceptance of what happened as inevitable.
The task of those around you is to understand how to get a person out of depression after the death of a loved one, so that this period is as short as possible. Religion helps many people in such a difficult period of life. Faith in God, conversations with him, prayers - all this cleanses the soul, frees us from anger and disappointment. Not immediately, after some time, a person becomes calmer, it becomes easier for him to endure the blows of fate. No matter what skeptics say about this, for many this really becomes a salvation.
The task of a loved one, first of all, is to have a good understanding of what caused the depressive state.
The reasons why depressive disorder may develop vary. Experts highlight the following:
- Death of a loved one. An unexpected loss leads to a long-term depressed state. It takes time to come to terms with the thought of the death of a loved one.
- Abortion. Termination of pregnancy leads to both psychological and physiological consequences. The operation can cause hormonal imbalance, which will lead to the development of depressive disorder.
- Problems in your personal life. Often a person suffers from a breakup with a partner, his betrayal or misunderstanding. The most serious condition is for people who are abandoned. Their self-esteem is at a critically low level.
- Creative crisis. If a person cannot realize his potential, does not feel needed, and does not have professional achievements, he may find himself in a serious crisis.
- Overwork. Stress, anxiety, and constant worries lead to exhaustion of the nervous system, emotional burnout, which provokes depression.
- Pressure from outside. The psychological state can worsen in cases where a person is in a toxic relationship that makes him feel weak, stupid, angry, etc. Some people are capable of suppressing those around them, which is why the latter often find themselves in a depressed state.
- Manipulation. Sometimes symptoms of depression are used to gain attention. Such tricks may be conscious or unconscious. Therefore, it is important to understand whether a person is suffering from an illness or wants to receive more attention and care from others.
When a person is depressed, a person's self-esteem is low, so it is important to raise it in various ways. Understanding, sympathy and participation in the problem on the part of loved ones will strengthen self-confidence and allow you to find emotional balance. However, you cannot feel sorry for a person, this will only worsen the mental state.
A depressed person should avoid any negative thoughts and events. It is necessary to get as many positive impressions as possible, focus on successes, do what brings pleasure, and not engage in routine, monotonous things. It is important to strengthen the belief that the future will bring joyful changes, and with them will come happiness and love.
When you take on the task of helping a friend or partner get out of depression, you should not remain an outside observer or only an adviser. It is necessary to take an active part in a person’s life: go somewhere with him, be nearby, help in the implementation of plans, etc.
A common symptom of depression is sudden mood swings, which can be accompanied by attacks of anger and aggression. You need to be prepared for such behavior: do not be offended and understand that these are natural reactions that appear in a person with such a disease.
Thoughts of suicide are one of the common signs of depression. Regardless of how regularly and in what form a person talks about suicide, you should definitely pay attention to this. Attempts to die can be made at any moment, so you should try to constantly monitor the mood of such people.
You can save a loved one from depression faster if you help him at home.
Men should change their surroundings and go on vacation. Occupational therapy is one of the effective ways to restore mental health. Representatives of the stronger sex can try themselves in extreme activities, for example, skydiving or bungee jumping.
Women prefer to engage in some types of needlework. This will not only bring emotional peace, but will also improve self-esteem.
Accumulated negativity can be released through art therapy. Any new hobbies will be useful.
To find meaning in life after depression, you need to look at familiar phenomena from a different angle. Charity can help with this. This does not mean that you need to donate a lot of money. Help can be provided in different forms. For example, you can organize a collection of things, take food or medicine to the sick, walk dogs at a shelter, communicate with orphans, etc.
You need to distract yourself with other events, so you should attend as many exhibitions, concerts, sporting events, etc. as possible, communicate with people, make new acquaintances, find hobbies. Depressed people need to change their lifestyle. You need to adjust your diet by adding more healthy foods and giving up alcohol and tobacco. Any physical activity, from walking to swimming, will have a beneficial effect on the body.
If you can’t change your surroundings, you should watch an uplifting film, read a book or listen to inspiring music.
You cannot be alone, so you should renew old acquaintances and maintain relationships with relatives and friends. In case of exacerbation, it is necessary to contact someone who will listen and provide help.
If a person wants to get out of a depressed state, he should use gadgets as little as possible, spend time on social networks, preferring live communication to virtual communication.
We should not forget that people who are depressed especially need proper rest. They should adhere to a daily routine, sleeping at least 8 hours a day. If necessary, take an afternoon rest.
Only sincere participation can help a person get out of depression. If caring for a friend, loved one or parent is a burden for you, you should first understand yourself and only then help others.
A depressed man: when nothing makes sense
There is a single vector that, if unrealized, leads to real depression. This is a sound vector. Signs of depression in men with a sound vector are apathy, indifference to everything. He doesn't call when you are at a distance, not together. He seems to want to be left alone and doesn't communicate with anyone.
If in cases with other vectors you can somehow independently at least identify the cause of the so-called depression in your man, then in the case of the sound vector this will not be possible. It appears as if out of nowhere, and how long it can last is not at all clear. Sometimes it seems like forever. And you can get rid of it only after breaking up with the sound man. But this definitely won’t help lift a man out of depression.
Why is the depression of a man with a sound vector so special? Men with other vectors of desire are associated with completely earthly things. And even when a man with a visual vector, sublime and poetic, suffers from severe stress after the death of a loved one - this is also a very real reason. The sound artist becomes depressed from the failure to fulfill a completely intangible desire.
The sound artist is often detached, self-absorbed, loving to be in silence and solitude, always thinking about some completely non-everyday things. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan claims that the sound artist is trying to fulfill his cherished desire - to find the meaning of life. His own and all humanity around him.
However, this is not so easy to do.
From childhood, it is vital for a sound artist to learn how to realize himself. However, if in childhood his ability to concentrate and seek answers to complex questions in science or creativity was not developed, then in adulthood this can sooner or later lead to depression. Is his depression dangerous? And how! Not always, but often it leads sound people to drugs and even suicide. It is vitally important to understand how to get a sonic man out of this state.
Depression in men and tips on how to get out of it
There are several aspects that men should pay attention to. These tips will help you survive depression and get out of it.
Men have the right to be weak
From childhood, all boys are told, for example, that “men don’t cry.” In fact, by doing so, people forbid boys to show not only weakness, but also their other feelings. Then, already in adulthood, when depression comes to a man who has suppressed emotions all his adult life, he will not know what to do.
Moreover, depression will confirm the thoughts that no one needs him and that no one is interested in his problems. But you should understand that in this case asking for help is not a sign of weakness. This is a necessity. Depression is not a weakness of character, not an inability to cope with life's difficulties, but an illness that does not depend on your willpower or your character traits.
Of course, it is very nice for a man to feel strong and independent, but sometimes you can allow yourself to give in. And in such a situation, the most reasonable thing is to open up to another person and allow yourself to accept his help. This applies to medical care and help from loved ones.
Depression can creep up unnoticed
According to statistics, women are twice as likely to seek help from a specialist when they experience depression. The fact is that a fairly small number of women suppress their emotions, while almost all men do this. This is why representatives of the stronger sex understand much later, and even more so, admit that they are depressed.
Waking up late is normal
If during depression you do not sleep well and do not feel rested in the morning, and you also find it difficult to stay awake all day, this is usually due to depression. You are not lazy. You just need to rest and gain strength, because depression is debilitating. When you are sick, getting out of bed in the morning is a real challenge.
People are not born gloomy
Interestingly, while depression in women most often manifests itself in the form of sadness, men also experience irritability and aggression.
Depression knows how to laugh
During depression, a man may have thoughts in his head that no one needs him, he is not successful, he is not beautiful. And that he doesn't deserve love. The inner voice that voices these thoughts is quite difficult to silence. Some men try to get rid of it through intense exercise, or, conversely, overeating. Some turn to alcohol.
However, this can be worked in another way. Know your worth! Think about it, if someone stranger says such words to you, you won’t tolerate it, will you? The voice of depression is also alien. Don't let him insult you.
You can cancel plans
Depression is often accompanied by manifestations of social phobia. It is at such moments that it is better for a person to be alone or surround himself only with close friends. However, a man may be afraid that if he does not pay due attention to his loved ones, friends and colleagues, he will lose their favor. But remember that depression is a disease.
Of course, you shouldn’t abandon all your plans. You can explain to your friends that crowded parties are not the best place for you right now. However, you will be glad if they agree to just watch a movie together and talk. This can be fun too.
Small steps are the path to success
During depression, it is quite difficult to imagine a happy future. Moreover, when someone says that things will get better, these words irritate rather than calm, because it is difficult to believe in them. A good solution is to start planning in small steps. For example, think of something good you can do for yourself today. Make positive plans for the near future, and it will make you feel better, you'll see!
Not wanting sex is common with depression
During depression, men not only experience low self-esteem, but also a lack of energy. This can cause a lack of sexual desire, as well as erection problems. It is important to understand that this is just a symptom of the disease that will go away after treatment.
No need to run away from problems
When you are depressed, it is very difficult to be active, and often you just want to close yourself in your own little world and not interact with the outside world. You have the right to this, but sometimes communicating with other people is simply necessary, because this is the path to healing. It is important to understand that you and depression are not one thing. She doesn’t need communication, but you need support and understanding.
You have the right to be sad
Many people don't understand that when you're depressed, you don't need to force a person to cheer up or stop moping. Such advice for depression only harms. The main thing is to understand that you are not a whiner, but simply have the right to be sad. Depression will pass and you will be the same as before.
A daughter or son who wants to help their elderly parents overcome depression should spend as much time as possible with them. It is necessary to show that dad and mom remain important people in life, that their advice and recommendations are important. You can help your mother get out of depression with the help of a psychotherapist.
Much depends on what caused the depression. If it developed under the influence of the death of a spouse, you should temporarily settle the parent with yourself or move in with him. In cases in which the disorder becomes a consequence of age-related changes, in addition to participation in life, care and support, a visit to a psychiatrist should be monitored. The doctor will prescribe a suitable medication, the use of which will speed up recovery from the painful condition.
Signs and symptoms of depression in men – when does he need your help?
Male depression is caused by social/emotional factors, age periods, as well as responsibilities assigned to a man. The level of male responsibility is always higher than female, and in this situation, personal crises provoke more severe conditions than in the weaker half of humanity. How can you tell if your man is depressed? We study the signs:
- Aggression and irritability.
- Self-doubt, low self-esteem.
- Attacks of rage.
- Sudden change of mood.
- High blood pressure.
- Disturbed sleep/appetite.
- Decreased libido.
- Physical ailments - from headaches to chest pain.
- Increased workaholism or, on the contrary, reluctance to do anything, complete apathy.
- Involvement in extreme sports and gambling.
- Passion for alcohol.
- Feeling constantly tired.
- Slow speech, movements.
- Changes in weight.
- Increased anxiety.
Of course, there is little joy in seeing your beloved man in such a state. Can anything be done for him? How to help get out of depression?
- The most important thing is to let him know that you are there for him no matter what. That you will support him in any situation. That any problem is temporary. Trust is the key to your relationship.
- Talk to your husband “frankly”. He must open up and talk about the reason for his condition. And your concern is to convey that there is nothing shameful or dangerous in this. Any problem can be solved. There is a way out of any situation.
- Have you found out the cause of depression? Look for a way to improve the situation together with your spouse. If it is impossible to correct the situation, change your attitude towards it. Together. To do this, sometimes you need to shake up your life slightly or, on the contrary, significantly. Up to a long long trip, change of place of residence or place of work.
- Use relaxing treatments - a bath with aroma oils, massage. Don’t fuss and don’t be indignant that “the bucket is full again.” Now the spouse needs support, affection and understanding, and not “hairpins” and quarrels.
- Help your husband believe in himself. Become his reliable support, support his ideas, even if they seem absurd to you. As practice shows, the most absurd ideas often become a springboard into a new happy life.
- Change your diet. Add more foods to it that promote the production of serotonin (note - the hormone of joy). For example, citruses and nuts, salmon, chocolate, rosehip infusion, bananas.
- Change your environment often. Walk your spouse where he can forget about his problems: cinemas or picnics in nature, fishing, visiting friends, etc. Or you can even just buy tickets to “wherever there is enough” and rush towards adventure (many do this, how depression cuts at the root, and it seems that there is no way out).
- Look for the positives in the situation. Always look for the pros in everything and ignore the cons or overcome them. Get into the habit of looking at the world through the eyes of an optimist.
- Don't blame your spouse for all your sins. There is no need to humiliate him by saying that he is a “loser”, that “his hands are in the wrong place...”, etc. Phrases like “well, I told you so!”, “as always, I turned out to be right,” etc. are also canceled. Instead, use - “We’ll survive!”, “You’ll succeed,” “You’re my best, you can handle it.”
- Don't let a man shut down. The more destructive the depression will be, the more a man withdraws into himself. Shake it just enough so that it does not have time to hide in the shell. Create conditions in which he himself wants to open up to you.
- If your spouse is irritable and unrestrained in communication, do not rush to snap back. Be calm and calm, like the nuclear icebreaker Lenin. Your task is to maintain balance in the family.
- When praising and admiring your spouse, do not overdo it. Ostentatious praise is even more annoying. Be sincere.
- In this state, a man is inclined to make decisions under the influence of emotions, which he may later regret. Do not rush to condemn him, shout, or be indignant. Just convince him that all serious decisions should be postponed for a while.
- Take a vacation. Ignore everything and buy tickets to a place where your spouse will feel good and calm. Maybe you haven't visited his parents for a long time? Or maybe he always dreamed of fishing on Lake Baikal? Forget about everything and go. The husband’s condition is more important than those matters that you can never change anyway.
- If your spouse has the talent of a writer or at least an author, invite him to throw out all his problems on paper. Or just start writing a book, a collection of poems or memoirs. Any writing person will confirm to you the “healing” capabilities of “paper scribbling.” And to make it even more interesting, you can post your stories on one of the literary sites. For many, receiving feedback on their works and communicating with other authors becomes an outlet and way out of a state of melancholy.
And the most important thing. Don't expect miracles. They may not happen. Marvel for yourself! And live today. Then all your problems will seem empty and far-fetched.
Depression is a true epidemic of the 21st century. And if it occurs in your loved one, it is very difficult. You begin to suffer from misunderstandings and conflicts. Of course, there is a cure for every ailment. What to do if your man is depressed - read the Horoscope guru.
After the breakup
Men and women experience the post-breakup period differently. This is a painful time, when the usual way of life changes, you need to think about how to build your life further, often leads to depression, which can drag on for a long time. There are ways to get a person out of depression after a breakup, but most of all it depends on his mood and desire to get out of the blues.
You need to understand that life does not end here. Time passes, everything changes, and this new period just needs to be accepted and experienced. And mental pain is a normal phenomenon that haunts everyone after a breakup. Time must pass so that you can adequately look at the situation, which will no longer seem such a significant problem.
A person must be prepared for the fact that in the first time after a breakup, when meeting with acquaintances, questions will be poured in about his circumstances and reasons. You shouldn’t talk about your pain and relive it all again every time. It is enough to limit yourself to a couple of words to show that such questions are not appropriate and there is no desire to discuss them.
Important digression
Unfortunately, sometimes the development of depression is just a symptom of other disorders and diseases: it is extremely important to distinguish “pure” depression from third pathologies: by leaving the underlying disease untreated, you risk your mental health. Among mental disorders, depressive states are found in:
- bipolar affective disorder (mood swings from euphoria to deep despondency);
- recurrent depression (a special form of depression, when acute depressive attacks last 1-2 weeks and are separated by “light” intervals of a month or more);
- schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorders (complex diseases that require long-term treatment. Can be chronic. Progress without treatment);
Among the somatic causes of depression (somatogenic depression) may be:
- head injuries;
- poisoning, severe infections;
- many endocrine diseases (thyroid disorders, etc.);
So, in order to exclude the possibility of other diseases, you still should not refuse a full psychological and physiological diagnosis. Understanding the causes of the disease is the natural key to success in treatment!
Psychologist Borisov O. B.
Source: MenQuestions.ru
Universal tips
There are also a number of universal tips regardless of gender and age:
- Take a position. Even if a person is wrong, he should be supported, sympathized with and shared views regarding the event that led to depressive disorder. This arrangement will create a relationship of trust, which will allow you to talk out and cry.
- To be nearby. You should be ready to help at any moment, even if the time is not right for you. If it is impossible to be physically nearby, you need to encourage and listen from a distance, for example, through correspondence. A person should not be left alone with his thoughts, because this can lead to unpredictable consequences.
- You can't criticize. Any criticism will aggravate the condition, increase feelings of guilt and uncertainty. Even if critical comments are objective, they should be refrained from. The most effective form of communication will be dialogue with leading questions.
- Let there be light! The positive effects of natural and artificial lighting on depressed people have been scientifically proven. Make sure you wake up early, close curtains or blinds during the day, and get as much vitamin D from the sun as possible. Daylight alone is not enough; conventional lamps are more effective in phototherapy treatment. Make sure that the person is exposed to bright electric light for at least 20 minutes a day (and up to 1 hour), and within a week he will feel an improvement.
- The body is in action. A relaxing massage is a very effective remedy, especially when combined with massage oil and pleasant music. Particular attention should be paid to the cervical-collar region and the lumbar region.
- A little movement. During depression, large amounts of stress hormones, in particular cortisol, are released into the blood. During physical activity, the stress hormone is utilized. Of course, this does not mean that it is necessary to drag a person to the gym, but long walks along the street in warm weather, or in a shopping center in cold weather, will definitely lift your spirits.
Symptoms of depression
- melancholy, sadness, melancholy for no reason;
- prolonged apathy, reluctance to do anything;
- poor appetite or, conversely, uncontrolled “eating”;
- loss of interest in things that previously brought pleasure;
- wrong lifestyle;
- poor sleep, nightmares;
- feeling of guilt for no reason;
- aggression, nervousness, irritability;
- attacks of fear and anger;
- suicidal tendencies;
- poor concentration;
- loss of self, feeling of worthlessness.
how to cure depression at home
Depression is not justified and will not go away on its own.
Depression is an illness that needs to be treated comprehensively. In most cases, this disorder requires medication that can only be prescribed by a specialist. The course should be accompanied by correctional work with a psychotherapist and participation from loved ones.
You should not expect this disease to go away on its own. If there is no treatment, it becomes chronic, which is accompanied by phases of exacerbation.
Any excuses about heredity, life circumstances, etc. must be left aside. It is necessary to talk with the person and support him morally and in action.
Treatment of depression with medications
- It happens that depression develops into a pathological condition. Here you need the help of specialists. As a rule, drug treatment is prescribed. In most cases, antidepressants are prescribed.
- If a loved one has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, medications with a mood-enhancing effect are prescribed. Medicines have a positive effect on the nervous system, normalizing the general condition.
- Antipsychotic drugs and antipsychotics help get rid of delusional states accompanied by depression. Anxiolytics are prescribed for manic states. Bupropion is necessary for dysthymia.
- Antidepressants are prescribed for complex depressive conditions. The composition affects mediators in the body. They act as messengers that transmit impulses to brain tissue, regulating emotions.
To help a loved one overcome a difficult period in life, it is recommended to prepare in advance and study useful information. Try to help on your own. Try all the methods described above. If all else fails, convince your loved one to see a specialist. He may need professional help and medications.
how to help a man get out of depression
Without his consent
The main symptoms of depression are withdrawal from communication, desire for loneliness, closedness, and alienation. Therefore, it can be difficult to bring a person into a heart-to-heart conversation, much less offer help or a trip to a specialist. How to get a person out of depression at home without his consent? You will have to look for all sorts of tricks, the easiest way to do this is if you live together.
You need to create a positive environment in the house, make sure that pleasant music is played or a cheerful film is shown on TV. Cleanliness and home comfort, sunlight, the aroma of your favorite dishes - every little detail is important in this matter. You can light an aroma lamp with brain-stimulating and mood-enhancing oils.
Lead an active lifestyle, smile more often - you should be an example for a depressed loved one. Soon your joyful mood will shift to him too. And under no circumstances should you feel sorry for him. Pity is destructive; it will only strengthen his confidence in his worthlessness and helplessness.
Methods of psychological assistance
Switching attention
- The method is quite effective. While your loved one is focused on the problem that is causing him to be depressed, you need to unobtrusively redirect his attention.
- To do this, it is enough to invite a person to unwind and breathe in the fresh air. Take a walk through the park and, if possible, visit a pond. You don't need to set goals to get anywhere, just walk. Tell us your funny stories from your life.
- Don't bring up a topic that makes your loved one depressed. Walk and talk about everything. Discuss the weather, problems in the world. You can start a harmless argument. Your task is for the person to overcome depression and distract themselves from the negativity.
Entertainment
- No matter how trivial it may sound, ordinary entertainment and a positive mood help to completely distract from problems. On the other hand, it is difficult for a person who is susceptible to depression to overcome himself and go have fun.
- You just need to decide to take such a step in order to forget about the pressing problem for a while. Try to visit an entertaining place with minimal contact with other people. A loved one will not want to maintain a dialogue with every second person.
- Therefore, you should not throw parties or visit nightclubs. It is recommended to go to a theater with an interesting performance, a circus or a regular cinema. The ideal option would be an extreme pastime.
- If you can financially afford to jump with a parachute, fly in a hot air balloon or hang glider, you would greatly help a loved one. Such emotions are unforgettable, problems will simply fade into the background.
- Under no circumstances should you gather in a small group (we are talking about representatives of the fair sex), and do not watch sad melodramas and films. Such gatherings with heart-to-heart conversations make you even more depressed. The problem does not need to be shared, it needs to be fought.
A pet
- Experts have been practicing treating depression with the help of pets for quite some time. It is recommended to ask your loved one in advance how he feels about animals and whether he is allergic to wool.
- After this you can give a pleasant surprise. Thus, caring for and loving an animal will push all problems and depression into the background. The animal will cheer you up in a short time.
Catharsis
- This method is used quite rarely, but sometimes it is more effective than others. To cope with severe depression, you need to act contrary to all of the above advice. A person needs to plunge headlong into sadness and melancholy.
- In this way, the state of mind is liberated. Compare, while watching a touching film, you can cry throughout the session. As soon as the film ends, you gather your thoughts, and a great mood appears. You begin to appreciate life and enjoy it.
- No matter how paradoxical this method may seem to you, it really works. Harmony appears in the soul, the head becomes clear. This is a kind of shock therapy for the nervous system. Therefore, make sure that the person is ready for it in advance.
how to get rid of negative thoughts
What to do if someone else's depression drags you down?
If, while helping a loved one, you discover that you also have signs of depression, you should carefully analyze the cause of their occurrence. If you are depressed by the futility of trying to pull a person out of a pathological syndrome, you should understand that you are doing everything possible, but the main work lies on the shoulders of the one who suffers from depression. It is impossible to take it upon yourself.
In cases where a depressed state has arisen due to unclear reasons, it is necessary to consult a psychotherapist. You should not break contact with the person you wanted to help, since you may be his only support. However, at the first, even weak, signs of the disease, it is necessary to urgently take measures to treat it.
How not to communicate with a depressed person
To get out of depression, the support of your immediate environment is important, but there is a danger of ending up in the same position with the patient.
Important! According to scientists, depression is “contagious.” It is not transmitted by airborne droplets, but at the same time, negativity and bad mood spread to others instantly. The main thing is to learn how to communicate correctly with a depressed person.
It is dangerous to criticize a patient, convincing him that he himself is to blame for his condition. Anyone can get depression, even the most energetic and strong people, due to failures, overwork, and troubles.
Under no circumstances should you feel sorry for a depressed person, as this will only worsen his situation. It’s better to calm him down and become a life-affirming example for him.
After operation
During the difficult rehabilitation period after surgery, a person needs outside support. His body is weakened by medications and surgery, his mental and emotional state is in decline. His loved ones are faced with the question of how to get a person out of depression. At this time, you should not neglect walks, even short ones.
If the operation was associated with physical changes in the body and depression is deep, you should contact a psychologist for help; he will know exactly how to get a person out of depression after surgery. This will help you cope with the shock faster. Doing what you love and bringing pleasure will help; everything should bring positivity and positive emotions.
DEPRESSION: SYMPTOMS IN MEN
Men and women tend to experience different types of depression. In general terms, the female type of depression is sadness, while men can, on the contrary, experience anger and show aggression. Since such signs are often not associated with depression, diagnosing and recognizing this condition in men becomes even more difficult.
How depression manifests itself in men: signs
Many men are not inclined to talk about their feelings. At the same time, they begin to suppress them or “wash them down,” which only strengthens negative thoughts. In men, more often than in women, depression leads to sleep disturbances. Because of this, fatigue occurs during the daytime, concentration and interest in work are lost.
Depression is often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive problems, seizures, or increased heart rate. At the same time, men begin to turn to ordinary doctors, not suspecting that a visit to a psychotherapist can relieve them of these unpleasant signs.
5 main signs of depression in men
The following common symptoms, according to experts, are the easiest way to identify depression in a man.
- Anger, aggression and irritability
Men are much more likely to commit violent crimes and be aggressive. Many people exhibit these behaviors without having a depressive disorder. However, when aggression, anger, or irritability are uncharacteristic and seem unusual for a particular man, they may indicate depression.
- Losing interest
Things that previously fascinated a person may become indifferent during depression. Work, sports, family and friends can seem incredibly “far away”, a man loses energy and does not have the strength or desire to show interest in them. Depression can be accompanied by episodes when a person seems completely detached from the outside world, as if “turned off.”
- Risk appetite
When a man is depressed, achieving pleasure becomes more difficult. What once seemed dangerous now seems attractive. This is one of the clear signs of depression in a man. This includes excessive drinking, drugs, dangerous driving, promiscuity, gambling, spending money, extreme sports.
- Isolation and loneliness
A clear sign of depression is a situation where a man or guy led an active social life, but is now not interested in communicating with others. It becomes difficult for a person to be around other people, he experiences fear, an increased need for psychological comfort, and often becomes irritated or sad. When a man begins to realize that sudden changes in mental state and mood swings prevent him from communicating normally, he consciously begins to isolate himself even more and remains alone.
- Fatigue
Depression can quickly tire a man. She has almost no energy for anything else. If increased fatigue is also associated with insomnia, it may be helpful to include naps in your daily routine.
On distance
Has one of your loved ones experienced depression, but it is not possible to meet and support them due to territorial barriers? How to get someone out of depression from a distance? This is not easy to do, since it would be easier for a depressed person to say over the phone that everything is fine with him than to pour out his heart and ask for help.
You can recognize the signs of depression from a distance, because the patient’s behavior changes sharply and interest in everything disappears; this can be heard in the voice and manner of communication. You can guess about the impending problem with emotional health from your page on social networks, where corresponding statuses and pictures with dark meanings and the theme of suicide often appear.
It takes a lot of effort to reach a person. It would be good to try to communicate on Skype (or another application with a video call function), because then you will be able to see the person, his eyes, his reaction to words. He will also benefit from visual contact. You can arrange a consultation with a psychologist over the phone; if the patient agrees to the meeting, this will be a great success and progress towards a speedy recovery.
There are special helplines where a qualified psychologist will answer the call at any time of the day, listen and help - this is also a good option. How to bring a person out of depression from a distance and help him regain strength? This is a very difficult task, but you cannot let the situation take its course, you need to try all possible ways to combat the disease.
How to deal with depression?
You need to be honest with yourself. The key problem for many men is accepting their own emotions and experiences. You should not attribute mythical abilities and skills to the stronger sex: first of all, a man is an ordinary person. Acknowledging your emotions means discovering what you need to work with.
If you feel growing oppression and weakness, do not remain silent. Relatives, friends, and loved ones can become a good buffer zone to stop the growing despondency. As they say, depression loves your ears. Share your experiences, literally speak out: after all, dialogue with a significant person in itself carries powerful psychotherapeutic potential. And at the same time, the danger of emotional rejection remains, which can aggravate the condition.
Try to find the cause of your condition. No treatment makes sense until the cause is eliminated or one’s attitude towards it is reconsidered. Let’s say that at work a man faces a systematic violation of his self-esteem: humiliation from his superiors. In the end, no matter what we do, it will not bring results until the situation changes. You cannot stitch up the wound until all the dirt has been cleaned out. In our situation, the choice is small: either talk openly with your boss about the unacceptability of certain behavior, or change your place of work.
Pay more attention to healthy rest. Depression is also a condition of the nervous system, in particular the brain. Excessive workload, poor quality rest and attempts to relax through alcohol or drugs only aggravate the condition. Make time for quiet walks, reading literature, or even meditation. Restoring the resources of the central nervous system contributes to a general improvement in the condition.
Be socially active. Even through “I don’t want”, sometimes it’s useful to go shopping with your wife, or to the cinema with your child. Man is a fundamentally social being and his activity in society is an important component of a prosperous psycho-emotional state.