Reverse psychology with photos.
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Reverse psychology, or psychology from the opposite, is a term that consists in the occurrence of the exact opposite reaction of a person to a call to action, propaganda or education. This peculiar form of manipulation works especially well in relation to children, adolescents and those individuals who are rebels by nature and fight for freedom and power, for the most part, only because of principle.
Reverse psychology: how does it work?
Reverse Psychology was developed by Michael Apter. The man spent a long time studying various areas of motivation. The basis of reverse psychology is the concept that talks about the ability of people to switch from one state to another after simple verbal phrases. To change people’s opinions, you need to choose the right moment and correctly compose a phrase.
Reverse psychology implies that the manipulating individual says one thing, but expects to receive the opposite reaction. A similar reverse effect is noticeable in children's behavior. When parents tell a child not to do something, his reaction may be the opposite. He will want to do the forbidden.
When actions are performed correctly, people who are subject to psychological pressure think that the choice was made by them. The individual is deluded. The first times of using the practice of reverse manipulation require choosing proud people who have increased self-esteem. The reverse technique cannot be considered the most effective among other types of persuasion.
To protect yourself from the influence of manipulative people, you need to control your emotions, think through your actions in advance, and choose the best options for resolving conflict situations. It is important to take into account the consequences, observe the interlocutor’s reaction when making statements and questions.
Ladies invite gentlemen!
The smell of a woman attracts her chosen one. A man does what his queen wants. He just doesn't realize it. Attraction pheromones lead him to her. And she makes her choice not only by attraction, but also evaluates the hero of her novel through ranking pheromones. After all, by its nature it is responsible for the continuation of life. A man gives, and she receives and gives him her emotions and feelings in return. This reawakens masculine energy. And he again wants to give to his goddess. He has a desire.
A woman is always a “carrot” for any man; the incredible pleasure of merging with her balances the biochemistry of his brain. The merging of two opposites, the smooth flow into each other depends not only on the desire of the man, but also on how much the woman allows herself to be desired.
Who does reverse psychology work for?
To effectively use the reverse psychology technique, you need to know who is more susceptible to psychological pressure. Types of people susceptible to manipulation:
- Rebels, hooligans. This type of people can be manipulated. Training lessons, instructions, advice are useless. A bully does the opposite to spite others. Behavior manifests itself in the actions of teenage children who are commanded by their parents. The child fundamentally does things against the will of the adult. But if a friend asks, the reaction will be positive.
- People who do things for the sake of fame, posturing. The individual will try to do everything contrary to the imposed, generally accepted principles. So he tries to stand out from the crowd. People of this type strive to achieve significant results in various areas of life and amuse their pride.
- People who do principled things. The type of individuals who go against existing principles, forgetting about the consequences.
Reverse psychology works great when applied to people who have a high ego bar. Those who have weak self-esteem are susceptible to the reverse effects of manipulation.
You need to understand that not everyone will do the opposite of what they are advised or told. Reverse psychology is useless for those who do not have their own point of view, they are used to following the advice of others. The practice of opposing actions will not have an effect on those who accept someone else's point of view and then present it as their own.
Reverse psychology and children
Often parents begin to use reverse technology techniques; if children refuse to do something, it is difficult to convince them with ordinary persuasion. A child may do the opposite to annoy adults. They are dissatisfied with decrees directed at them and complain when they are commanded.
To manipulate a child in such situations, it is necessary to use reverse psychology. It will help change the child's opinion. If parents choose the right moment or phrase, the children will become confused after what happened. They took actions according to the will of an adult, but think only about their own decision.
It is important to understand some features of child manipulation:
- The reverse technique should not be used too often. The child will get used to this and will effectively resist commands. You need to choose the right moments and situations. When you can solve a situation with persuasion or affection, it is better not to resort to manipulation. If this is not possible, the opposite effect can be applied.
- Psychologists categorically prohibit the use of reverse manipulation techniques that cling to the child’s personality. If you tell a child about the desire to hide certain things from him, citing the inability to use them.
With teenagers, experts suggest choosing a different tactic. He was offered to attend a dubious event; you can tell the teenager that you are categorically against this idea because you are worried. The child will decide whether to go or not independently.
Victim and rapist
In an abusive relationship, one partner humiliates, offends and controls, while the other is submissive and suffers. Moreover, violence in such relationships can be both physical and psychological.
Such relationships always follow the same scenario. First, the “rapist” shows aggression, “pushes” the victim, and then begins to feel guilty for what happened and tries to earn forgiveness with flowers, money or gifts. The victim cannot resist the repentant partner, believes that he “will not be there again” and everything starts all over again.
“Every time after a manifestation of cruelty, the most long-awaited and sweetest moment of truce for the spouses comes. Seeing this, those around them usually consider these couples ideal, without even suspecting what kind of hell is going on behind their “façade,” says Alisa Galatz.
It is usually difficult for a victim to break up with an abuser, because deep down in her soul she is neurotically afraid of being left alone and believes that she is not needed by anyone except her abuser. Well, it is important for the rapist to maintain the illusion of his own superiority and control over everything that his partner gives him.
Examples of using reverse psychology
The reverse theory describes a psychological phenomenon in which incentives to action, propaganda or educational actions cause a reaction opposite to the expected one.
Sometimes the use of such techniques occurs unconsciously, for example, when parents order their child not to do something, hoping that he will stubbornly do the opposite, doing exactly what they want.
Reverse psychology techniques are clearly demonstrated in books and movies. For example, a person experiences unsolvable difficulties in life and wants to commit suicide. There seems to be no point in dissuading him: after all, this will only confirm his decision. Accordingly, you can try to act “from the opposite”: to let the potential suicide understand that his life is really worthless, the difficulties are insoluble, and only a series of failures awaits him ahead.
Usually at this moment natural human stubbornness kicks in and the one who a minute ago wanted to take a lethal dose of sleeping pills or jump from the roof begins to convince the opponent that all of the above difficulties can be solved, and in general suicide is postponed for now.
Reverse psychology is widely used in relationships between men and women. The most striking examples: a woman wants to marry her partner, and so that he is not frightened by this prospect, she makes it clear to him in every possible way that she does not need marriage, and that the relationship is too boring and burdensome. A man’s pride and possessive instinct awakens: he will not tolerate his beloved woman having such freedom, and will try to do everything in his power to ensure that she accepts his marriage proposal.
Reverse psychology is also widely used in trading. This is the most favorable environment for such manipulations, because the buyer always latently resists the seller’s offer and influence. The most striking examples of using this sales technique:
- forbidden fruit : if a person is told that a particular product is not available, he will want that particular product;
- product evaluation : if you ask the buyer to evaluate the quality of the product, he will diligently look for positive properties in it, as if “selling” it to himself;
- doubt about the client’s solvency and social status motivates him to prove the opposite to the seller and buy the most expensive product.
Where do stereotypes come from?
Any woman will agree that the rules of behavior with men appeared after observing the stronger sex - how they react to certain circumstances. For example, if a man is constantly praised and not denied intimacy, he leaves for work in the morning more confident than all those who are picked on and not physically satisfied. By the way, this was not invented by women, but by scientists. And representatives of the fair sex are in no hurry to prove or disprove this statement. It’s easier for them to come up with something of their own and conduct “experiments” on men.
So, there are three categories of women:
1. Those who got married in their youth (it is often said about them that they found a husband “out of youth, out of stupidity” and many of them agree with this expression).
2. Divorced with or without children (they, as a rule, are offended by all men at once due to an unsuccessful marriage, but are looking for a life partner and want to get married again).
3. Divorced or simply single women who do not want to tie the knot (often self-sufficient, independent and self-confident).
These categories are, of course, arbitrary. And in each group there are exceptions, which, by the way, arise precisely when female psychology steps aside, and love and real feelings “come forward.” But let’s return to the stereotypes that created these categories of women.
Women who get married in their youth and have a good relationship with their spouse can live in a happy marriage until old age, not suspecting that relationships with men can be somehow difficult. Of course, they have quarrels with their husbands, but these are the little things in life. If the marriage is not going well (the husband abuses, disrespects, insults), the woman sooner or later thinks about whether all this is necessary at all. And not everyone will be able to divorce, because the severance of a registered relationship entails new difficulties and changes.
But, realizing that it would be better to be alone, she moves into the second category of the fair sex. Everyone in it has some kind of resentment towards the male sex and is already prejudiced towards many. It can be difficult to reach such women because they are in no hurry to re-open their hearts and bare their souls to someone. But, despite all the troubles and past experiences, she still hopes to meet her beloved and unique one. Women's lives around the world are full of examples of how remarriages are created and become happy. But this is not a fact that happens everywhere. It happens that you never manage to find a worthy one.
And here the woman moves into the third category, where she is disappointed in men, as strong and self-confident people who are able to protect a woman, carry her problems on their shoulders, and simply make a worthy couple in their old age. However, it’s also impossible without a man, especially when the orientation is traditional. Therefore, a woman without special feelings and passions simply finds a sexual partner who is attractive to her and is not particularly intrusive, because no one is allowed to invade her personal space. The hearts of such women are almost made of stone; you definitely won’t be able to touch them with a bouquet of flowers. A man is considered only as a male. And no matter how self-sufficient a woman is, she still cannot do without a man.
History of development
The theory of reversibility was developed in the 70s by psychologists M. Apter and K. Smith. It is described in detail in the works “Subjective Experience of Motivation” and “Beyond Personality Traits. Reversible theory of motivation." Initially, the theory was practical: with its help, Apter intended to treat children with schizophrenia.
According to Apter, reverse psychology explains the duality of human nature: at the same moment in time, he cannot feel the desire to perform two actions that contradict each other. For example, dying of thirst in the desert, a person will not want to give his only bottle of water to a stranger begging him for help. Nevertheless, the same theory states that it is human nature to quickly switch from one polar state to another and back again.
In order to achieve the desired reaction, you need to:
- determine the most convenient conditions for manipulation;
- perform a series of actions aimed at encouraging a person to independently move into the state desired by the manipulator and make the decision he needs.
Parent and child
In such couples, one spouse, an adult, smart and serious, takes care of the other, frivolous and dependent, in a fatherly way. The “parent” partner constantly evaluates the “child’s” actions: criticizes, approves or prohibits, and is annoyed because he is forced to “carry everything on himself.”
Well, an adult “boy” or “girl”, as a rule, reacts to such care with rebellion, although deep down he feels helpless. “On the one hand, the “parent” unconsciously perceives the “child” as a helpless creature who is not capable of anything, and on the other hand, he is terribly afraid that the spouse will begin to show independence and will no longer need him,” explains Alisa Galats.
Naturally, under such conditions, the infantile spouse will never grow up, and his partner will never learn to perceive him as an equal.
Typically, the only way to deal with a destructive relationship is to break it. And this is only possible if one of the partners begins to grow up, solving their internal problems.
Reverse psychology between a man and a woman
Most couples use the practice of reverse psychology. The technique is used by a man or woman when they have a desire to get what they want. A woman wants to spend the weekend with her fiancé, but he is focused on spending it with friends. She is convinced that the direct form is useless and is going to act radically. She tells him that she is going to a club with her friends. In most cases, the groom will stay at home, refusing to let her go alone.
You can use the reverse manipulation technique if you want to marry your loved one. You can’t admit your plans, try to show the guy, it’s better to show that the girl is happy alone. Then the man will strive to keep the girl busy in order to avoid the appearance of competitors. When choosing a tactic, you need to know your loved one well. If there is a lack of information, a mistake made can destroy a relationship.
Who starts the perpetual motion machine?
So, the main task of a woman is to be desired. And it is solved by the beautiful half of humanity through the creation of trusting relationships. Like Marya the mistress, she weaves a delicate lace of emotional connections. Everything depends on this, including the future happiness of the two. And so they first have conversations, then relationships and a huge attraction to each other. An emotional connection is a treasure that a couple can carry through the years.
A woman is given the ability to create that very train of emotions that excites her lover and pushes him to exploits. Remember how Baron Munchausen was inspired to fly to the moon by Martha, the daughter of an ordinary pharmacist. It is the woman who holds all the strings of emotional connection in her hands. Skillfully sorting them out, she starts the perpetual motion machine of love. Through communication, something more begins to happen between them than just the intercourse of two halves: the prerequisites are created for the merging of souls.
Why is reversion dangerous?
Reversion is considered one of the mental traps that every person regularly falls into. These traps sometimes prevent people from achieving their goals, forcing them to waste their own nerves and time, thinking “about nothing”, at a time when instead of “self-flagellation” they could engage in development, learning new and interesting things, and spend time communicating with friends.
The reversion error is a trap into which a person falls who cannot move on, because in this situation he has done everything he could and nothing further depends on him. But after everything has been done, the subject actively falls into thinking about “how it should have been done.” All his thoughts are focused on the past and on possible options for the development of events, and other thought processes are inhibited, which is why reversion is undesirable.
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As a result of falling into such a trap as reversion, a person wastes his own energy, time, and the opportunity for self-improvement.
Why are dependent relationships bad?
According to the expert, in destructive marriages, spouses, on the one hand, suffer from the actions of their loved one, and on the other, cannot imagine their life without him. Accordingly, being in such a codependent relationship, a person loses independence, stops growing personally and begins to collapse from within.
“And no matter how bad it is for partners, three things keep them together - fear of loneliness, predictability and strong emotions. The latter spouses get hooked literally like on a needle,” explains Alisa Galats.
Let's take a closer look at what the relationships of destructive couples look like from the inside.
What kind of people are amenable to reverse psychology methods?
The success of using reverse manipulation depends on the context: it is very important who, on whom and under what conditions uses these techniques.
Psychotherapist Janet Raymond believes that the effectiveness of paradoxical intervention depends much more on the dynamics of relationships than on the character and type of personality. Reverse psychology is much more effective where a person fiercely fights for his independence, freedom and individuality, because in this case he is already emotionally determined to do everything that is forbidden to him.
Alcoholic and rescuer
This is a familiar classic of a codependent relationship. One of the spouses drinks away all the money, disappears at night, sits without work, and the other tries to reason with him: takes him to doctors, reads lectures, feels sorry, without losing hope of saving the alcoholic.
“In this case, the “alcoholic” usually twists and turns the whole family, behaves like a capricious child, and the “rescuer” receives psychological “bonuses” for this: he feels needed, loved, correct,” explains the specialist. The psychologist adds that a partner will never stop drinking as long as he is in a relationship with a kind and caring “savior,” and the latter will never allow him to do this.
Reverse psychology in sales
The reverse manipulation technique is considered one of the main tools of marketers. You need to understand that a buyer entering a store is neutral or negative towards the seller. He will do his best to counteract any shortcomings. To effectively use reverse psychology in the sales field, you can use several basic techniques:
- When working with male buyers, female sellers often use the following method. If a man says that the product is too expensive, the woman replies that since he cannot afford an expensive purchase, she will look for a cheaper product. This technique works even better when the room is filled with women.
- Seizing the moment - people love the forbidden. The seller “accidentally” shows the buyer a product that is not on sale and says that it is not available to buyers for a certain period of time for some reason. To increase the chances of a successful transaction, you need to think through a plan of action so that the buyer believes.
- Take a vote. The buyer must independently rate the product. It is better to choose a system from 1 to 10. Most will give a rating of 5–7. The average rating indicates the neutrality of the buyer you want to attract. Tell the buyer - you expected a lower rating, the buyer will begin to list the points for which he gave an average rating.
There are other techniques using reverse psychology. Experienced salespeople know how to use them and successfully sell their products to different types of buyers.
We sell cheaper
“Selling” an idea cheaper is another way to plant your idea in someone else’s head. This is another, less aggressive version of reverse psychology. Let's say you are a seller. You sell 250 GB, 500 GB and 1 TB hard drive. A customer comes to your store with the intention of buying what he needs and spending as little money as possible. All buyers want this - to buy the perfect option for almost nothing. Of course, you know this and cannot immediately offer them to buy a 1 TB drive. How to lead a client to a purchase that is beneficial to you?
Your dialogue might look something like this:
Buyer:
Can you tell me about this 260GB drive? I want to make sure this is the right option for me.
Salesman:
What kind of computer do you have and what do you want to use it for?
Buyer:
I have a 2 year old laptop with Windows operating system and I want to use it to store my photos. I have approximately 30 GB of photos.
Salesman:
I think 250 GB will be more than enough to store your photos. Of course, only if you use your laptop exclusively for storing photos. So as long as only photos are stored there, everything will be great.
In the last sentence, you emphasize that 250 GB is enough only for photos, but if you want to store something else... And then you can add that to be sure that in the future this disk will be enough to store other files, you can buy a more spacious version. After all, you care exclusively about the interests of the buyer, and are not trying to sell him something more expensive.
I have another wonderful example from life of such additional sales. Not far from my house there is one of the restaurants of the Celentano chain (Kyiv). And it is in our cafe that there is a simply wonderful bartender who manages to sell you something that you didn’t quite think about buying. Thanks to him, crowds of visitors try new dishes that they were unlikely to try. His work is simply masterful! He does not jabber the standard patter and without expression: “Would you like a pie for dessert? What about coffee? No! While he’s double-checking your order, he, as if by the way, starts talking to you and very unobtrusively tells you that they have one very interesting dessert/pizza/salad/drink (underline as appropriate), and that he tried it himself - it’s very reminiscent of something something from childhood or some other interesting dish that almost everyone has tried. And by the time it reaches full payment, you really want to try this “new and tasty” thing. He also has very flexible hands with long fingers. He moves them so much that I have more than once noticed the fascinated gaze of visitors :) I think he makes half the profit for the entire restaurant.
Now, when I try to go from the “reverse”, I will try to do it not in the form of “passive-aggressive behavior”, but I will beat around the bush;)
The technique that we will talk about today has been used by almost everyone, although most people have not heard anything about reverse psychology. This technique is rarely taught to sellers and negotiators. Although its effectiveness is confirmed and proven. Today we will tell you what reverse psychology is and how it can be applied in sales.
