Login to the site
Self-flagellation and self-criticism are nasty habits, aren’t they? The most unpleasant thing is that a person who engages in self-flagellation and regular self-criticism, even realizing that he is acting very badly towards himself, cannot do anything with himself, and continues to eat, blame and psychologically destroy himself.
We consider self-criticism and self-flagellation primarily in the psychological aspect, as a manifestation of extreme dislike for oneself, and not a physical understanding of self-flagellation (as it was in Christianity).
What is Self-flagellation and Self-criticism? Esoteric view
Self-flagellation and self-criticism are psychological programs of consciousness and corresponding energy mechanisms aimed at destroying a person’s personality (his Soul and body). This is, in essence, psychological and energetic violence against oneself.
These negative habits trigger a constant mechanism of self-destruction and in the end, most often, lead to serious diseases: from cardiovascular diseases (dissatisfaction with life in the person) to cancer (with premature and painful death).
Moreover, these are absolutely real energy systems that cripple a person psychologically and energetically, and they work literally. For example, if a girl doesn’t like her legs, and she engages in self-criticism about this, and shows emotions of hatred and rejection towards her legs, then in the literal sense of the word, she simply tears off her energy legs. That is, we can absolutely say that after some time her physical legs will also hurt, because they are already destroyed energetically and it’s a matter of time before this negative impact manifests itself on the physical plane.
The main reasons for the formation of the habit of self-flagellation and self-criticism:
1. An unformed positive attitude towards oneself - respect and love for one’s soul and body. A person has no programs or habits of loving oneself, supporting oneself positively, strengthening oneself, and being invulnerable from negativity. When a person loves, values, and respects himself, he will not destroy himself, but will protect and improve himself.
2. Not being able to accept your shortcomings and your imperfections. And if a person does not know how to relate to one or another of his shortcomings, he may begin to hate himself for them and then that’s it, self-destruction starts in full swing. This is, in essence, not the ability to accept yourself as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Inability to forgive oneself for mistakes made , and for shortcomings, respectively. When a person goes through life and makes mistakes, he accumulates more and more negativity and resentment towards himself. And, sooner or later, this negativity kills a person. Life is a big school, and everyone makes mistakes, you need to learn to go through them easily, forgiving yourself for them, quickly correct them and act again until success is achieved.
How to get rid of Self-Flagellation?
1. Urgently learn to love yourself correctly!
2. Forgive yourself for everything you haven’t forgiven yourself for yet!
3. Forbid yourself to “drive” negativity onto yourself with your responsible decisions - forbid yourself to destroy yourself. When you want to torture yourself, direct this energy to something good!
4. Start to develop - to form virtues in yourself, so that you really have something to respect yourself for.
5. Exercise for quick results (must be done in writing):
- Write in at least 10 points what negative things you have already received and are receiving due to self-flagellation, self-criticism and a negative attitude towards yourself!
- Describe in at least 10 paragraphs what awaits you in 10, 20 years, if you don’t stop flagellating, hating, eating yourself and never learn to love and respect yourself!
- Describe what you want to replace self-flagellation and negativity with in the best possible way!
- Write in at least 20 paragraphs what will happen, who you will become, how you will feel, how your life will change when you develop respect for yourself, love for your soul, respect and care, that is, you stop destroying yourself!
This is a very powerful exercise that works flawlessly - always!
Self-flagellation as a reason to do nothing
Nikolay Vasiliev
Lately, Facebook and other social networks are overflowing with materials whose authors are trying to prove to us that we ourselves are to blame for everything that is happening now in the country. We ourselves gave birth to the crisis, we are the culprits of the economic and political problems that have overwhelmed the country: “Lafa is over”, “We ourselves are to blame”, “This is not a crisis, guys”, “Parting with illusions”, etc. What is this phenomenon? Why is this happening?
This phenomenon in Russian is called self-flagellation, which means inflicting moral and even physical suffering on oneself, blaming oneself with remorse for allegedly committing mistakes. Self-flagellation is essentially psychological violence against oneself, the result of which is self-destruction of the individual. First, self-flagellation leads to psychological problems, which are immediately followed by problems with physical health.
The result is obvious. The massive launch of self-destruction mechanisms leads to massive psychological stress, the result of which is the inability of the human body to adequately assess reality, which automatically deprives a person of the ability to carry out conscious social actions.
The mechanisms of modern self-flagellation have much in common with religious self-flagellation. At the heart of flagellantism and other forms of self-destruction is the principle of repentance. Man must destroy his bad and sinful flesh. At the same time, the most important and most effective way of penetrating self-flagellation into the masses is the method of transmitting personal experience to others as self-flagellation and repentance for allegedly committed mistakes.
Social networks are great for this and are an effective conductor of personal psychological violence. Facebook and other social networks are filled with materials of relevant content, in which the authors show an example of personal self-flagellation: “Lafa is over,” “We ourselves are to blame,” “This is not a crisis, guys,” “Parting with illusions,” etc.
The leitmotif of these materials is everything that is happening now in Russian society, the economic and political crisis and its consequences, unemployment, lack of faith in the future and all other problems - this is the result of our own actions, this is a consequence of our ineffective work, this is all because ourselves. We ourselves are to blame for all this: we lived incorrectly, worked incorrectly, ate and drank incorrectly, spent money incorrectly, traveled and rested incorrectly. We are the goats ourselves. Look for problems within yourself. And we ourselves created the crisis around us, we are unqualified, overpaid people who think too much about themselves.
The propaganda mechanism of mass self-flagellation is perfect. During a crisis, it can be launched in any society, in any large social group.
Directing the energy of the dissatisfied masses towards self-destruction as a way to deflect the blow from the real culprits of the crisis, shift responsibility for the crimes committed, thereby reducing social tension - this is a method that was used in Europe, Asia, and in the Soviet Union during its collapse. Many will remember how they were told in the late 80s and early 90s about poor education, ossification, sovietism, reluctance to think in new ways, and were accused of a lack of initiative and entrepreneurial spirit.
Certainly! It was ordinary Soviet citizens, mired in drunkenness and parasitism, who were the cause of all the troubles that befell the country. And so again, people who are far from propaganda, who sincerely believe that “we ourselves could be better,” begin to “repost” accusatory texts on social networks, forcing millions of citizens who have been building their own little personal happiness with all their might for the last twenty years , believe in all this nonsense, doubt, “get stuck” in your own thoughts. Like a cancer, self-flagellation is spreading among people of different levels of education and income, far from propaganda and social manipulation.
Recently I met an old friend of mine, with whom I studied at the institute. An accomplished man in every sense, with a good education, co-owner of a company on the development of which he spent all his time, working hard seven days a week for the last twenty years. In the conversation it turned out that he calls the current crisis “purifying” - he ate too much, bought too many unnecessary things in stores, “consumed” too much unnecessary goods, etc.
My questions puzzled him. “Tell me, didn’t you have the right to buy for yourself what you wanted, and in the quantity you wanted, with the money you honestly earned through your daily skilled labor? And even by buying more than you really needed, you did not contribute to the development of those companies that provided you with these goods and services? Does a black man pushing a cart overflowing with unnecessary junk out of a Wall Mart somewhere in South Carolina feel like he needs to “clean up” for himself, his country, and his neighbors? Do you really think that the current crisis is your fault?” A curtain.
Mass self-flagellation will lead to massive psychological disorders in that part of Russian society, which is actually the basis of economic and political stability in the country. Social apathy, reluctance to participate in the life of society, decreased ability to work, loss of faith in the future - these are just some of the problems that can arise as a result of this process. Let's analyze who is doing this and why, what these articles call us to do, ignore them and save ourselves.
Text: Nikolay Vasiliev, General Director of the Tribuna Publishing House
Advantages and disadvantages
In order to understand what the word self-flagellation means, you need to have a good understanding of the characteristics of this feeling. Analysis and evaluation of one's actions allow a person to identify errors in behavior. Sometimes it is possible to realize the negative manifestations of actions only after several years. Therefore, engaging in self-criticism is useful, as it leads to repentance.
We suggest you read: Bruises under the eyes How to get rid of them and the reasons for their appearance The best remedy
Self-flagellation also has negative traits. If a person sees everything only from the negative side, then this leads him to devaluing his actions. Constant remorse prevents you from changing your life for the better and achieving something.
It is impossible to say unequivocally whether self-flagellation is useful or harmful, and what it means for a particular person. Self-criticism is useful in small quantities, but if it is constantly present in an individual’s life, then this is an alarming sign.
Does the modern Church allow the practice of self-flagellation?
SocButtons v1.5
QUESTION: Does the modern Church allow the private penitential practice of self-flagellation for its faithful and what is its official attitude towards such practices?
ANSWER: Penitential practices such as self-flagellation are still common in some monastic orders to this day. Almost all holy monks engaged in self-flagellation starting from the 13th century. Self-flagellation also spread among the laity as a form of personal penitential practice, as well as public repentance - especially during periods of war, epidemics, and drought. A movement of flagellants appeared, which was condemned by Pope Clement VI in 1349 in the bull “Inter sollicitudines”: its main idea was to reject the idea that sins can be expiated by bodily mortification. The Magisterium of the Church mainly touches on this issue from the perspective of the spiritual meaning that a Christian is called to invest in any form of asceticism and without which Christian asceticism as such cannot exist.
Penitential practices have always been inherent in those who are demanding of their spiritual life: the logic of asceticism is rooted in Baptism, but also in human nature itself. Blessed Pope John XXIII said: without discipline there is no man, and without repentance there is no Christian.
The topic of Christian asceticism was addressed in the document of the Holy See “Potissimum instutitioni” - Directions for monastic training - dated 1990. It states: “Asceticism, implying, among other things, the refusal to follow our impulses and spontaneous, primary instincts, is an anthropological need even before it is a purely Christian need.”
Nowadays, just like other aspects of spiritual life, the practices of repentance should be considered in the prism of church tradition, taking into account the need to cleanse them from those cultural elements that have prevailed over spiritual elements. In assessing the traditional penitential exercises today, we must not forget the newness of the Holy Spirit, which continually and dynamically accompanies the Church.
One cannot neglect the fact that today some ascetic practices carry with them a certain cultural ambiguity, since it is known that many penitential practices, especially physical ones, are characteristic not only of Christian religions. Therefore, with regard to ascetic exercises, we must always think about their goals and motivations. The Fathers of the Church considered Christian asceticism in the perspective of the Baptism we received. Through mortification we move step by step towards the fullness of grace received in Baptism, in its double aspect: purification and enlightenment - putting off the old man and putting on the new. Through penitential practices, the believer releases spiritual powers from the bondage of sin. Moreover, these practices carry a deep sense of solidarity and apostolate. While we experience inconvenience and hardship, we stand in solidarity with those who experience poverty and suffering against their own will. Together with Christ, we sacrifice these deprivations in order, as the Apostle Paul wrote in the Epistle to the Colossians, “to fill in our flesh the lack of Christ’s sorrows for His Body – the Church. In this way, penitential practices become a source of unity with Christ and with the brothers, as well as apostolic fruitfulness for the salvation of the world.
Penitential practices - done, of course, in obedience and under the guidance of a spiritual father - are a manifestation of the realism of the believer who, with deep humility, acknowledges his passions and weaknesses and strives for constant conversion.
St. Paul, in his letter to the Romans, reminds us: “For I do not understand what I do; for I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. If I do what I do not want, then I agree with the law that it is good, and therefore it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Rom 7:15-17).
Precisely in order to combat these evil inclinations and stand before God with a clear conscience, St. Paul exhorts: “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the reward? So run to get it. All ascetics abstain from everything: those to receive a perishable crown, and we to receive an incorruptible crown. And that’s why I don’t run in the wrong way, I don’t fight in a way that just beats the air; But I discipline and enslave my body, so that, while preaching to others, I myself may not remain unworthy” (1 Cor 9:24-27).
The Christian's love for the Lord and for other people prompts him to imitate Christ, who voluntarily subjected Himself to suffering in order to atone for our sins and so that the hearts of people would open to saving grace. This is why many saints felt the need to join in the atoning sacrifice of Christ through voluntary bodily suffering.
Of course, the guidance of a confessor or spiritual director is necessary on this path to ensure that the believer does not do anything that would exceed his spiritual powers, and also to avoid the temptation to become arrogant, considering himself holy due to intense penitential practices. After all, holiness is achieved not by physical exercise, but by participation in the feelings of Christ Himself and especially in humility and love for one’s neighbor.
Accepting the suffering and contradictions of life, which are beyond our control, in full trust in the will of God, means much more than all penitential practices. But voluntary penitential practices should not be considered useless: they dispose the spirit to everything that Divine Providence prepares for us, for the purification of ourselves and other people.
In modern official documents of church teaching there is no special mention of the practice of self-flagellation.
Pope John Paul II dedicated his catechetical exhortation before the Angelus prayer on February 25, 1996 to the topic of repentance. He refers to Pope Paul VI's 1966 apostolic constitution, “Poenitemini,” which condemns all corporal penitential practices that are purely external. At the same time, traditional repentant practices are acceptable when the believer puts into them the saving meaning that we talked about above. John Paul II in 1996 recommends a return to the Poenitemini instructions, adding: “Unfortunately, in those days many interpreted them (that is, these instructions) as a relaxation in penitential practice, since some of their traditional manifestations - such as abstinence and fasting, - were regulated in a more flexible manner, taking into account various situations and circumstances of modern life. In reality,” Blessed Wojtyła further said, “it was not a question of relaxation, but rather of deepening. Retaining all their value, external penitential practices are never an end in themselves, but a help for internal repentance, that is, freeing the heart, through grace, from the clutches of sin, directing it to love for God and brothers.”
Mention may also be made of the speech of Pope John Paul II to the community of Camaldolean monks on September 5, 1982. In it, he clearly mentions the practice of self-flagellation, traditional for this monastic community. Pope Wojtyła says that the Cross is the basis and content of the spirituality of the monastic community of the Camaldoles of Fonte Avellana, and various penitential practices - among which the Pope also names self-flagellation - "signify the redemptive and reparative work" of the monks. Saint Pierre Damiani, who in the 11th century was a monk and prior in this monastery, wrote a treatise “Praise of the Scourges”, in which he calls the practice of scourging an imitation of Christ, through the acquisition of the crown of martyrdom, the mortification and punishment of sinful flesh and the atonement of sins.
Thus, there are no statements from the teaching of the modern Church about the inadmissibility of the practice of self-flagellation, just as there are no exhortations for its use. The acceptability and extent of this form of repentance should be discussed for each individual case with one's own confessor or spiritual father.
Comment:
Download SocComments v1.3
All news on the topic:
- self-flagellation
What is self-criticism
Self-criticism is the ability of a person to look at his actions from the outside to determine what was done correctly and what was not. It's quite difficult. Because many are sure that the mistakes they make are a consequence of the actions of others, and not of their own decisions. And they blame everyone for their failures but themselves. The ability to look critically at your actions helps you cope with this. Their sober assessment will help you avoid making mistakes in the future. After all, ninety-nine percent of success depends solely on the person himself, and not on the behavior of others.
Self-criticism is only available to strong people. Those who are able to adequately perceive not only advice from the outside, but can themselves understand their own imperfections.
Self-criticism is also the ability to learn from others. A person who understands that his actions are not always perfect listens to the advice of others. But at the same time, he does not follow them thoughtlessly, but adapts them to his own situation. This helps him avoid unpleasant moments and learn not only from his own experience.
Why do I blame myself and, in general, engage in self-criticism?
Join our Telegram
The habit of blaming oneself usually has childhood roots. It is formed in response to the psychological or physical aggression of parents when they shame and blame the child. And shame is one of the emotions that is very painful to bear. There may be different reactions, but one of them is self-blame as a possible way to reduce parental irritation and reduce punishment.
No need, I'll do it myself!
That is, if you practice “self-punishment” in the form of self-inducing shame, and, and do it quickly enough, the child expects that this will reassure the parents. An internal censor appears, an internal taskmaster, very tough and uncompromising. After all, such a “bad” child needs to be looked after.
In the future, this practice can remain for life and be used in a variety of situations, including for some completely insignificant reasons.
Bad, really bad
Obviously, the practice of self-blame easily gives rise to the feeling that a person is bad in life, which can make him, for example, a scapegoat. Feelings of guilt or shame in themselves, of course, are not bad, but here we are talking about their unhealthy manifestation.
What is good?
Because of this, distortions very often arise regarding what is good and what is bad, where the boundaries of a person’s responsibility lie, what he should blame himself for, what he should be ashamed of, and where it is completely unnecessary. This may manifest itself in the fact that he does not see well and protects his boundaries, preferring to “repent” for any reason where he is accused of something.
Sign up for our psychological consultation (Moscow):
Psychological violence, recovery from abusers and narcissists, breaking up with an abuser, changing abusive behavior, self-esteem, relationships, loss of meaning, working with feelings, age-related crises, existential problems, loneliness, relationships between “adult children and parents,” and more...
About us/Make an appointment
Exotic forms
Sometimes it even takes on quite exotic forms. For example, self-blame can give rise to almost mystical agreements with other people or even circumstances. For example, a person may already punish himself in full, but no one knows about it. It seems to him that now he can count, if not on the gratitude of other people, then at least on a neutral attitude.
An agreement with higher powers can proceed in the same vein. For example, self-punishment may give rise to an unreasonable expectation that life will at least not punish him. As a rule, people who engage in self-criticism do not demand too much. They are simply afraid of tempting fate. Of course, they subconsciously expect additional bonuses and that they will be distinguished from others, but they are afraid to say this to themselves and, therefore, do not manifest themselves, remaining somewhere in the background of life.
Entire personal column
Subscribe to my youtube channel
- about the author
- Copyright materials
Andrey Petrakov
Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment
Latest materials: (See all)
- What tricks of an abuser may you encounter during the process of change? — August 2, 2020
- What to do if your partner is controlling you? Thirteen steps to take back your life. — July 24, 2020
- Hello old rake! Four reasons why you fell in love with a narcissist again. — July 22, 2020
Share:
Training “Three Questions”
You need to ask yourself one by one, and place the answers sequentially in columns. So, to the questions:
- What happened to me? And then describe in detail the circumstances in which you find yourself.
- What could be done in this situation? Imagine how you would behave at that moment, what your behavior, look, gestures, feelings, and so on would be.
- What can you do tomorrow? Here it is necessary to try to correct the situation with a few proposals.
This training will allow you to look at the situation from the outside, to correlate its scale with internal experiences. Maybe it's not so bad and there's no need to worry at all. You will learn to make positive experiences out of adversity. So, let’s summarize how to get rid of self-flagellation.
We suggest you read: How to remove expression wrinkles around the eyes, mouth and forehead? Advice on how to deal with them at home Photo
How to stop self-flagellation?
When the disadvantages and pain of self-torture begin to outweigh the secondary benefits received, the moment comes to get rid of the self-flagellation strategy, but this process is more complex than it might seem. After all, the temptation to act in a proven, albeit painful way is great.
To prevent motivation from slipping away, it is worth separately analyzing what destructive moments and negative consequences you have already received in your own life, thanks to self-flagellation (if it is poorly fixed in memory, then make a list and periodically look at it). Also imagine where such behavior will lead in a few decades, what you will gain (nervous tics, reputation as a mourner, frayed nerves) and what you will lose (the desire to develop, achievements, friends).
Excessive self-criticism and self-flagellation continue to reduce already low self-esteem, destroying the personality. So your task is to continue to develop, to select activities that have visible results, so that you have something to praise yourself for, and not just scold yourself. Every time you want to give up and start a song about how everything is lost and you are not worthy of anything, do something aimed at self-development (out of stubbornness, redo a report, improve your appearance, respond to an Internet troll, go to a master class or photo session).
Another feature of self-flagellation is a focus on oneself, while the world around them does not seem to be noticed; such people are easy to manipulate, but it is not interesting to communicate with them, because they are constantly focused on themselves.
How to get rid of self-flagellation? Switch your attention to the outside world - see what interesting things are happening in it (weather, events, passers-by), ask what’s new with your friends (not for the purpose of comparing how bad everything is with you and nothing new, but with the purpose of finding out how things are going for them succeeded), view the latest news and trends.
And don't forget to analyze the situation. After all, most often the critic sitting in our head has a very specific voice (father, grandmother, teacher, first love) and says this from past situations that ended, but left their scar in perception. Essentially, if you were scolded for being restless in kindergarten, and you continue to do this to yourself as an adult, then you limit your capabilities, for example, in activities that require such vigorous energy, and this is only bad for an old teacher who has pressure and has long been not in your life.
There are no ideals, try to derive benefit and pleasure from shortcomings, turn them into advantages. It is not total drilling of oneself that gives a person happiness, but the opportunity to accept oneself as tired, imperfect, angry - then a lot of freedom is born and there is a place for joy, and not just for pain.
