How to learn to manage your emotions and not worry about anything?

How to learn to control yourself and your emotions

If a person is able to be aware of the situation and control his emotions and consciousness, it will be easier for him to control the manifestation of negative behavior, directing his emotions in the right direction.

In cases, say, related to business, relationships, work, which require great endurance, self-discipline, self-control, it is extremely important to learn not to be nervous and control emotions.

Imagine a boss who realizes that the report you provided was very poorly done. He begins to blush, yell at you, and pound his fist on the table. His impulsiveness will be emotionally contagious, but will not always contribute to effective activity.

But if the boss has excellent self-control, his self-control is at a high level, his behavior will be completely different. He will understand the team's inexperience and will not be quick to judge. Having thought through the necessary questions, he will call the company’s employees, express his opinion about what happened in a manner free from aggression, and ultimately make a correct and balanced decision.

How to learn to control your feelings

Through psychological counseling, you will analyze events in which you may have failed to exercise self-control and gradually establish the reasons why this happened. In each case they may be different. Perhaps they are associated with a stressful situation, or due to mental trauma experienced in the past.

Using a variety of techniques, you need to carry out such work as a result of which you will be able to control your emotions. Over time, you will definitely notice that your self-control takes on the character of a normal state, a correct model of behavior. As a result, you can and will take responsibility for your behavior and emotions, actions, thoughts, actions. You will finally become a more confident person.

Why do you need to be able to control yourself?

Only a strong and self-sufficient person who deserves respect and respect in society can control thoughts, emotions, and feelings. He knows for sure how to cope with fear and anxiety, calm the heat of anger and aggression, cope with frustration or unbridled joy, while maintaining his face and reputation.

Spontaneity and incontinence need to be controlled for several reasons:

resentment of loved ones - against the backdrop of aggression and anger, you can harm people;
loss of trusting close relationships - such relationships take a long time to build, but can be destroyed instantly in a fit of negative emotions and rash actions;
low immunity – experiencing strong emotions is stressful for the body, it has a destructive effect on the immune system and resistance forces in the body;
depression and psychological disorders - prolonged experience of negative emotions leads to depressive states; advanced cases require drug treatment.

At the same time, you need to understand that controlling emotions and suppressing them are different concepts; in the second case, we are talking about fear of problems and ignoring them. Self-control is the ability not to worry about trifles, changing your attitude towards certain events, having a positive attitude and finding optimal ways to express feelings.

How to learn to manage yourself - tips

If you want to learn how to manage your own life, you need to find the answer to this question. The ability to manage yourself and your emotions is one of the highest stages of spiritual development. In order to set yourself the goal of learning to control yourself, you must have a strong and independent character. The ability to control oneself helps to maintain self-control in difficult and crisis situations, during adaptation to a new team, during age-related changes, etc.

Learning to manage yourself is quite difficult, but you can give some tips that will help you achieve the desired result.

During difficult conflict situations, you need to try to control your emotions and, with the help of reasonable arguments, try to convince your interlocutor that you are right.

To learn to control yourself, you need to have a sufficient supply of vitality and energy. Try to experience as many positive emotions as possible, which will provide you with a significant supply of energy.

Self-management is often equated with suppressing emotions, but these concepts cannot be equated. Suppressing emotions can lead to various types of psychological disorders. Therefore, you need not to suppress emotions, but to find opportunities to release them.

Self-management is an important stage in a person’s spiritual development, for which one must continuously prepare. To do this, you need to constantly engage in self-development and self-improvement. Only a person who has a rich inner world can successfully master the art of self-management.

Don't forget about the needs of your body. In order to control yourself in difficult situations, you need to get proper rest, eat right, and exercise. If you are constantly in a state of stress, then any self-management is out of the question. Therefore, you definitely need to learn to relax.

To control yourself, control your breathing. By breathing correctly, you will be able to remain in a state of rest, as well as maintain the correct rhythm of movement, behavior and even the way you speak.

Another way to control yourself is prayer or meditation. Choose the appropriate method for yourself depending on your philosophy of life.

How to learn to manage yourself? Daily work on yourself and following our recommendations will allow you to succeed in this difficult task.

How do emotions control the brain and why does this happen?

To learn how to manage your emotions and experiences, it is important to understand in general where emotions come from and how they affect the human brain. For the first time, neuroscientist Richard Davidson, who studied the effect of meditation on brain activity, spoke about the close connection between the brain and emotions. During the research, the scientist identified 6 emotional styles inherent in people, namely:

Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity.
Forecasting – the duration of retention of positive emotions after pleasant events.
Self-awareness is the body's reaction to experienced emotions.
Social sensitivity is attentiveness and sensitivity to nonverbal cues and signals from other people.
Sensitivity to context - acting differently with different people or in different circumstances.
Attention is the ability to stay on one task regardless of external factors of irritation.

The scientist analyzed that each style of emotional behavior uses certain parts of the human brain. Hence the conclusion that emotions predetermine the well-being and physical health of a person.

Expert opinion

Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

To evaluate the impact of emotions on brain activity and life, scientists conducted an interesting experiment. A wolf and a lamb were placed opposite each other in two cages, they were given food and water, but within a few days stress and a sense of danger led the lamb to illness and death.

What difficulties may arise

It is worth noting that managing your own emotions is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. It is necessary to change the character, the way of perceiving reality. Let's look at possible difficulties that can ruin your life:

Internal resistance. As soon as the awareness of the need to change comes, the psyche begins to defend itself. This is a natural mechanism that is designed to protect against new shocks. The main thing is not to get confused and stop trusting your own intuition. Continue to act, despite the circumstances.
Conflict with others. When a person is just learning to find his boundaries, those around him seem to deliberately begin to interfere and test his patience. It seems as if fate itself puts a spoke in the wheels. You need to try not to offend anyone, not to spoil relationships that have developed over the years.
Suppression of emotions. Once you have such a habit, it is not easy to get rid of it. Suppressed emotions result in illness and open conflicts over time. Efforts must be made to prevent this from happening. It requires wisdom and patience. It is best to reveal feelings gradually so as not to fuel conflict.

Managing emotions is an important and necessary thing that you should not try to ignore. Those who know how to manage their own feelings ultimately win. It is necessary to try to look at emerging situations soberly, to evaluate them from a long-term perspective. If feelings are under control, there will be much less unpleasant consequences.

Managing Emotions in Psychology: A Smart Approach

Our emotions allow us to react instantly to stress. In moments of danger, fear gives strength to the fugitive; anger increases determination; rage sweeps away any obstacles on the way.

When it comes to survival, our emotions often come to our aid. They perfectly mobilize our body. However, in everyday life, in everyday communication, irritation, anxiety, anger, and resentment destroy us and interfere with mutual understanding.

It has been noted that all centenarians are characterized by mental balance, goodwill, and the ability to enjoy pleasant little things. To achieve such a worldview, you probably need to know how to manage feelings and emotions.

Establishing control over experiences allows you to live not only long, but also of high quality. It is easier for a person who knows how to control himself to conquer heights in business, politics, and creativity. A balanced employee enjoys a greater quota of trust in any field of activity.

It is not for nothing that the art of managing emotions in psychology is considered as a manifestation of a high level of EI - emotional intelligence. It is he who is responsible for the successful adaptation of the individual and contributes to his enviable sociability and ability to negotiate.

A person with emotional intelligence manages to get along not only with business partners. In his personal life, he also has a greater chance of achieving harmony and mutual understanding, which means there is less risk of being left alone.

Methods

Before you do or say anything, you need to take a deep breath, then exhale slowly. Now try to count to ten. At first glance, this method may seem very banal, however, it is very effective and has been tested more than once. It is necessary to understand that such exercises allow you to protect yourself from unnecessary statements that could destroy a marriage or business relationship. When a person begins to calm himself by breathing, and then counts to ten, his psychological state normalizes. You need to realize that it is better to make serious decisions in a calm state.
Try, at the moment when emotions overwhelm you, focus on pleasant things, for example, you can think about your son or daughter, about someone you love. It is important that the thoughts that arise in your head allow you to feel warmth and a positive mood. You can also remember a pleasant smell or a favorite song.
If at the moment when you want to express your emotions, there is no one nearby, you can speak your thoughts out loud. This method will help get rid of growing anger and increased anxiety. If you are not alone in the room, you can still say out loud something like the phrase “this is too much for my peace of mind!” With such a statement you can defuse the current situation.
If you feel very nervous, for example, you are about to speak in front of a large audience, you need to pick up a ballpoint pen. This method allows you to control the emotions of speakers and public figures. When a person holds a pen in his hand, he supposedly feels protected. This allows you to calm down and become more collected.
Watch your facial expression. When you feel that some emotion is trying to consume you, make a facial expression that will be completely different from the feeling that is arising in you.

In moments of anxiety, I resort to a method that helps me calm down and pull myself together. I place my palm on my chest in the area of my heart, feel my heartbeat, and concentrate on it. Then I take a deep breath and exhale. After a short period of time I begin to calm down, my pulse slows down.

Constructive methods

With the help of some exercises you can achieve very positive effects. As a rule, obvious improvements can be noticed almost immediately after starting to practice those indicated methods. All of them, to one degree or another, are aimed at putting the emotional sphere in order, unloading one’s feelings, and releasing a flow of creative energy. Nobody says that this is quite simple and easy to do. The truth is that you need to try to take those steps that will allow you to quickly return to a state of mental balance. There are also special techniques and ways to manage emotions and feelings. Let's look at them in more detail.

Relaxation method

When a situation occurs that confuses you, it is very useful to try to relax. There is no need to try to break through the wall with your forehead. This will not lead to the desired result, and will further undermine self-confidence. If you see a clear dead end in front of you, it means you were moving in completely the wrong direction. The relaxation method is suitable for those who are accustomed to seriously taking responsibility for their own lives and not expecting miracles from circumstances. The fewer illusions a person has, the better. This will make it easier to free yourself from individual deceptions and get used to new circumstances.

To learn how to manage your emotions, learn to relax in time. This is an extremely important skill that allows you to feel the value of your time, relationships and life in general. Instead of fussing and running, find a free moment to be alone with yourself, listen to your own feelings. The relaxation method involves timely relaxation. Its task is to prevent overload of the nervous system when the situation gets out of control and becomes critical.

Meditations

Today this technique is being mastered by many who strive for a harmonious and happy life. If you understand it properly, you will notice how useful it is for personal development. Meditation can be compared to a life-giving source that can fill life with special meaning and see true value in it. There are many techniques and ways of meditation. Each person is free to choose according to his taste what he likes best and what suits him in a particular case.

Yoga Nidra meditation allows you to gain a new understanding of the essence of important things. With its help, a person learns to realize his own values, existing opportunities and prospects. If earlier it was difficult for an individual to imagine how he would solve his problems, then soon it becomes easier to decide on a set of decisive steps. At some point, the understanding comes that the most important thing is the actions themselves. Only they can lead to a satisfactory result.

Merkabah meditation allows you to see your true essence. If you want to realize your aspirations and dreams, it is recommended to try this particular practice. It needs to be done at least once every two to three days. This is how you can achieve the most positive effect and see real ways for self-realization. The main essence of meditation is proper breathing, learning to control your inhalation and exhalation. Thus, you symbolically take responsibility for your own life. In most cases, visible improvements can be seen after several sessions.

Expressing your point of view

Being able to defend your own opinion is very important. In any field, you need to be as clear as possible about your prospects, to understand what results are desirable and acceptable for you. Expressing your point of view is especially useful where there is a need to act contrary to public opinion. Living by your own rules is never easy, because in this case the individual has to show his full strength. In this case, internal aspirations should be taken into account first of all and try to make others take them into account. You don’t need to give up your own desires just because you don’t yet know how to implement them in practice.

Favourite buisness

Having something you enjoy, you can learn to fully feel like a happy person. In this case, managing your own emotions becomes quite easy: it is enough to understand how you feel at a given moment in time. Having a hobby expands an individual’s interests and makes him more interesting. A multifaceted personality always strives to feel as comfortable as possible. The more responsible we are with our own emotions, the easier it becomes to take decisive steps. Once you learn to feel happy, it becomes easier to manage your emotions.

Exercise “Count to ten”

This method is well known to everyone, but for some unknown reason few people use it. Before you get angry and give vent to negative emotions, it is recommended to mentally count to ten. It has been tested that while the exercise is performed, the anger will subside and you will calm down a little. Perhaps after this you won’t want to swear and scream at all. There is no need to flare up immediately as soon as irritation appears. Give yourself time to try to think about what is happening and make the right decision. After all, if you act on your first impulse, you will then have to deal with unpleasant consequences. So don’t get excited and blame others for everything.

Exercise with newspaper

A very interesting method that is recommended to be adopted. When certain events or a person disrupt the smooth flow of everyday life, unceremoniously interfere with your life, or unsettle you, it is very useful to do this exercise. There is absolutely no need to take a real newspaper for this. All power lies solely in your imagination. It is enough that you simply mentally imagine how you push a rolled-up newspaper from one ear to the other. Try it, it's quite funny. You may even feel like laughing at some point. Don't resist your desire. This way you can get rid of negative thoughts and free yourself from a large number of anxious states. Instead of closing yourself off from the world in your experiences, try simply not taking everything that happens to heart. The newspaper exercise can be useful if there is an unpleasant person nearby whose company you cannot avoid. After all, it’s quite difficult to simply not pay attention. Do this fun exercise and you can immediately put your thoughts and feelings in order.

Exercise with water

When disturbing impressions have gotten the better of you, and you haven’t been able to relax in time, you can do this exercise. Go to the water (even tap water will do, you don’t have to go to the sea or river), dip your hands in it, and thoroughly wipe your face and neck. This way you can feel like you're really getting closer to thinking about everything calmly. As a result, the right decision will be made, which you will not have to regret later.

When it is not possible to physically be near water, you can simply imagine how you put your hands there, how you feel the life-giving coolness. It’s great if you can feel the same effect. As a rule, after several practices people begin to perform the exercise better and try to solve their problems. Exercise with water can be performed as often as necessary. If stressful situations come literally one after another, then it doesn’t hurt to arm yourself with a good method that gives positive results.

Ho'oponopono method

A very interesting technique that allows you not only to find inner balance, but also to achieve spiritual healing. The method itself implies taking full responsibility for all events that occur. The ho'oponopono method has so far been little studied, but is actively used by different people in practice. The bottom line is that we should try to give more love to ourselves and others. True respect, acceptance and well-being lies in the ability to give warmth and care. If we strive to live as fully as possible, we will soon be able to feel true satisfaction in life.

Managing the emotions of others

Learning this is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. First of all, you need to understand that we often ourselves provoke those around us into quarrels and conflicts. To avoid this, you need to be able to understand what the other person is feeling at the moment. Managing the emotions of others means, first of all, taking responsibility for what is happening. This method is very effective for relatives and people with whom you have to spend a lot of time. To learn to understand them, you need to try to look at the world through their eyes more often. If we respect and accept others for who they really are, then it becomes easier to live and make responsible decisions.

Exercise “Holding Thoughts”

When anxiety begins to overcome so much that there is no strength left to start moving for the better, you need to try to stop the flow of thoughts for a while. It is recommended to perform the exercise as follows. When you begin to literally be overwhelmed by negative emotions, you should not just try to isolate yourself from them, but consciously hold back your thoughts, as if trying to stretch them out in your imagination. At the same time, you don’t need to concentrate on what worries you. Just try to imagine that the thoughts themselves are stuck in your imagination and do not go deep into consciousness.

This method is very helpful in combating anxiety and despair. You just need to try to dream a little and put your feelings in order. The exercise can be performed daily, especially during periods of hopeless melancholy and despair. In fact, everything is solvable, and very soon you will be able to notice it. Try to relieve your brain a little with this simple exercise. It looks like a kind of game, but it has many benefits. However, “Thought Retention” does not mean that you should consciously strive to avoid your own experiences. Not at all, you should try to solve all problems in a timely manner.

Thus, it is very important to find the strength within yourself to make internal changes. Various techniques can help when we strive to qualitatively transform our lives. The more effort you put in, the better results you will achieve. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, you can seek help from the community of psychologists and rehabilitation specialists Irakli Pozharisky. Working with a specialist will help you change your view of everyday reality and outline constructive methods for getting out of unpleasant situations.