Infantilism, fear of growing up
An immature personality is noticeable and recognizable by its desire to play the role of a child. Dress in teenage clothes, wear provocative makeup, listen to rebellious music, communicate with people much younger than yourself. Such people are afraid of serious relationships. Marriage, career, having children - all this seems meaningless to them. Infants do not want to grow up, often change sexual partners, do not stay in one job, and live in their fantasies and dreams. Girls can deliberately speak in a childish voice and look for a “daddy” who will satisfy all their needs. The guys immerse themselves in computer games, tactically withdrawing themselves from the family.
As you can see, immature people do not know how to make an equal contribution to a relationship and accept their partner for who he is. They are like a house without support that will easily collapse at the first sign of bad weather. Infants are afraid of responsibility, adult problems, and loneliness. They are looking for the same codependent partners who are ready to serve their neurosis. Only you can decide whether you will carry this burden on yourself or be patient and wait for a worthy person.
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Total irresponsibility
Immature people love this game. Make big promises, come to an agreement, borrow money, and then gracefully leave the race, saying, “I’m not me, the problem is not mine.” They owe nothing to anyone, are not responsible for anything, and deftly avoid feelings of guilt. But they have a lot of claims to the world. This is D'Artagnan's philosophy: “I am special and important, but the world does not understand me.” It is those around them who are to blame for their failures, lack of fulfillment, and loneliness, not them. That’s why they have so many complaints about their partners, attempts to change them, to blame them for all their sins, along with a reluctance to start with themselves.
Gaslighting
“No need to react so violently, I was just joking.” “Stop making things up, it didn’t happen!” “No one will love you but me.” All these words are uttered by people who want to completely control their partners, not disdaining any means. They can intimidate, impose their opinion, devalue the feelings and desires of a loved one, question his (her) maturity and adequacy. In such relationships, physical violence is replaced by psychological violence, which is difficult to see or prove. An unhealthy partner destroys the self-esteem of a healthy one, forces a person to doubt himself and his emotions, instills in him a lot of fears and complexes through which he is easy to control.
Failure to plan, impulsiveness
If your partner never finishes what he starts, rushes from one decision to another, constantly reconsiders his values, interests and habits - most likely he is that same immature person. It is infantiles who build their lives depending on their mood - today I love, tomorrow I don’t; Today I want this, tomorrow give me something else. Having decided to take a difficult step, they easily change their mind. Even minor difficulties frighten them and drive them crazy. It’s normal for them to spend all their money on “wants” and then take out loans for food. Or, for example, leave the relationship to find yourself... and immediately create a new family, forgetting about this promise.
Parasitism on others
Another unpleasant feature of immature people is the habit of using their loved ones as a life resource. And also the requirement that they be taken care of, their affairs managed, supported morally and financially, and their household needs provided for. Everyone around them should be in their position, take care of their psyche, give in in an argument, accept their weaknesses and forgive. But they do not put forward such demands on themselves. The behavior of infantiles clearly shows a search for a parental figure who can be held responsible for their own problems and emotional instability. They often have lovers and mistresses on the side as a “backup option” if the first partner gets tired, burns out, refuses support, or runs away.
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Dependency on partner
Psychologically immature people cannot stand loneliness, so they try in every possible way to cleave to others - to merge with a loved one, the circle of his friends and interests, to live with his victories and defeats. Because of this, they can become a shadow of their loved ones, living one life for two, abandoning their “I” and their needs. Such a merger does not pass without a trace. An immature personality becomes a capricious and extremely irritable person. He demands care and gratitude for things that no one asked him for. Can tolerate betrayal, beatings and insults, and in every possible way justify the disrespectful attitude of the other half. And all because he does not feel complete and separate, he has no internal support.
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Teenagers
The most complex human specimens. The basis of the personal characteristics of adolescents is moral immaturity, a heightened sense of justice and emotional instability. A teenager is no longer a child, but not yet an adult, although he very diligently pretends to be this role. His hormonal levels change, external changes occur, and his internal balance is disrupted.
What should others do when communicating with such a “hedgehog”? Keep in mind that at this stage of development, personal characteristics are a changing factor. And correct the teenager’s unwanted behavior only with the help of positivity and positive reinforcement.
Grouping Behavioral Factors
There are 4 types of human behavior:
- Relationships between people and others. Sociability, sensitivity, kindness and respect are the main advantages of collectivism. Negative qualities of a person are closed, callous, rude, deceitful, contemptuous manifestations inherent in individualism.
- Traits that determine the approach to business. Creativity, responsibility and conscientiousness in performing assigned tasks, showing initiative and perseverance are positive human qualities. Unacceptable character traits manifest themselves in the form of laziness, inertia and indifference.
- Attitude to your “I”. The system of symptom complexes includes self-esteem and critical self-esteem. The positive qualities of a person are modesty and the absence of bad qualities - conceit, arrogance and vanity. Negative indicators include arrogant, touchy, shy and selfish tendencies.
- Attitude to things. Accuracy or disdain for material goods allows us to assess the character of a person.
People's behavior is dictated by generally accepted standards. From the moment of birth, each individual is assigned positive and negative qualities. Their manifestation is determined primarily by upbringing, as well as the ability to cope with critical situations.
