A rather riotous lifestyle, an active social position, and free morals of modern youth do not allow individuals to trust each other. You hear less and less about a guy resisting a beautiful girl who offered sex. There are a lot of such stories that refute any possibility of love being eternal and sincere. All this leads to girls being jealous of all potential lovers.
Is there any way to get rid of my jealousy towards a guy? The online magazine psytheater.com draws the attention of readers to the fact that jealousy is a problem exclusively of the one who is jealous. First of all, a girl should deal with her emotions if she is jealous of a guy. She harms herself with her experiences, so she should first sort out her thoughts, and then make any claims to the guy.
How to stop being jealous of a guy?
To stop being jealous of a guy, you need to pay attention to the real state of affairs. Let's not say that your boyfriend is not cheating or, on the contrary, betraying you. We don't know exactly how faithful your boyfriend is. You should find out. To stop being jealous, you need to see the real state of affairs. If your boyfriend doesn't flirt with girls, doesn't go to nightclubs, or spends all his time with you, then your jealousy is unfounded. Deal with your inner fears so that your jealousy does not destroy such a wonderful relationship where the guy is faithful to you.
But it also happens that a girl is jealous of a guy for good reason:
- He flirts with other girls.
- He cheats.
- He constantly talks about his ex-girlfriend and his love for her.
- He clearly gives signs that he is interested in other young ladies.
If a guy is not faithful to you, then why are you staying with him? Jealousy in this case is justified. It’s just not clear why you should stay with a person who doesn’t want to be only with you.
To stop being jealous of a guy, you need to choose a partner who will not give reasons. In other words, you need to initially start a relationship with someone who only wants to be with you. If you see that a man is too sociable, constantly walks around, hangs around girls, even slept with other young ladies while he was courting you, then you should not date him. He won't change, understand that. You don't need to think that the guy will become different. At first it will be yours. And when the emotions of passion begin to subside, he will return to his bachelor habits.
There are girls who are not jealous of their boyfriends at all, but still feel a feeling of love. How do they do it? In fact, everything is very simple: girls don’t get jealous because guys don’t give reasons. If a man really does not cheat on his woman, then it can be seen from him. At first, jealousy can arise only out of habit, they say, your ex-boyfriends cheated on you, so you are used to not trusting. However, over time, you will see that your boyfriend is definitely not cheating on you. You will be sure of it! Only for such confidence you need to choose and start dating a guy who really gives you such thoughts and feelings. Refuse to communicate with guys who are quite easy-going, sociable and flighty.
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Reasons and reasons for female jealousy ↑
Interesting past of a man
Was your man before you famous for being Casanova? Are other girls' names often mentioned in his stories? Then you can understand that you are feeling anxious. Surely you cannot get rid of the thoughts that you are “the next one”, or that he may again begin a chaotic life in secret from you.
It's very easy to stop being jealous of this type of guy. First, you need to carefully talk to him frankly: without claims, accusations or ultimatums. You just need to talk about your concerns. Most likely, he will be able to reassure you correctly (plus, he will be very pleased that you told everything so openly).
Why do many guys change girls like gloves? Because they are looking for “that one and only.” And if now he has been with you for quite a long time, then you can calm down - he found her and now, if she does not change for the worse, he will not exchange her for anyone. Why does he need this???
Specific area of his activity
If your boyfriend works in a women's group or, for example, as a bartender in a nightclub, it will be difficult for you not to be jealous of him, because many girls are probably trying to attract his attention. And they will succeed if, when he comes home from work, he is met by a girl in unkempt clothes and with eyes angry with jealousy.
But your boyfriend will not notice any of them if he knows that a cheerful laugh awaits him, who will help him relax, is able to listen to painful problems and support all his decisions.
Women's informal environment
Many young people who are in a relationship have a girlfriend with whom they can talk about any topic. Most likely, nothing happens between them (in terms of love), but is it possible to prove this to the guy’s other half? Every time two friends meet, the girl forms the most tragic pictures in her head.
Confused by your wife's turbulent youth? Find out how to overcome jealousy over your wife's past. How to avoid jealousy of an older child towards a younger one? Read on.
The best way to get rid of such a girlfriend is to replace her. Yes, if he craves communication with her, it means that she understands him more, is able not only to listen to him, but also to hear him, calmly reacts to many things and does not nag him for mistakes.
Attractive appearance, charisma, abilities
Is your boyfriend handsome with a good sense of humor and a range of talents/skills? Yes, it will be difficult for you not to be jealous of others, because many do not hesitate to take him away even from a family with children.
In order not to be jealous of your man, you need to work on yourself every day in order to meet him and his requirements. If you are overcome by laziness, then he may find a better option for himself.
How to stop being jealous of your ex-boyfriend?
Jealousy can arise not only towards a current boyfriend, but also towards an ex. In a state of indifference, you can be surprised at how jealous this girl is of her ex-boyfriend. However, there are young ladies who suffer because of their own feelings.
How to stop being jealous of your ex-boyfriend? You need to realize that it no longer belongs to you. He is now free to live the way he wants. Moreover, another girl will definitely appear in his life, whom he will love. Just because he's improving his life doesn't mean he's abusing you. The ex-boyfriend is just busy moving on with his life, which is what his ex-girlfriend should be doing too.
To stop being jealous of your ex-boyfriend, you need to let him go into the past. He's no longer "your guy" anymore. You need to realize this, understanding that he will definitely have other girls and even new relationships.
Many people are susceptible to love addiction and the inability to let go of past relationships. This poisons the lives of the people themselves and those they cannot forget about. If at first people can derive pleasure from their torment, then later they simply suffer. When the moment comes when they want to get rid of it, people cannot do it correctly, which adds additional worries and suffering.
How to get rid of love addiction and let go of past relationships? Carry out the following algorithm of work to eliminate unnecessary memories and feelings.
- With all your heart you want to get rid of unnecessary feelings.
You must want to get rid of suffering, and not just think that it will be right. Until your desire is there, any attempts to change anything will be futile. You must want to get a certain result.
- Realize the harm of your suffering.
Behind all the tears and memories, a person does not notice the reality in which he now lives. And she can hardly please him. A person wants to return to the past, completely letting go of everything that is in the present. But reality cannot be beautiful in itself. If you are not engaged in your life, then it will not be able to please you with anything.
See and understand the damage that unrequited love causes. While you are suffering, you are not doing anything for your real life. Tears and memories of the past take away your true happiness.
- Address the reason why you became addicted.
Often the cause of love addiction and the inability to let go of past relationships is fear that you do not want to notice or realize. For example, that you were rejected, not loved, or that someone else was chosen instead of you. As long as you stubbornly refuse to look fear in the eye and realize it, love affection will have its power. This fear keeps you in a period in which it did not exist. Most often it consists in the fact that you are afraid to admit your current situation - your own loneliness.
Often, fear lies in the very reasons for the breakup (he left for another, cheated, etc.) or in the consequences that occurred as a result of the breakup (loneliness, lack of material support, etc.). While you run from your fear into memories of the past, stubbornly not noticing it, love addiction holds on. But as soon as you look at your fear, accept its presence, become aware of it and formulate a positive attitude towards what is associated with it, the love addiction from past relationships will disappear. For example, if your fear is that another person was chosen rather than you, then first see a picture of such an event, feel your emotions and horror, and then tell yourself: “This person turned out to be suitable for him. It's his choice. I will definitely find someone for whom I will be the most loved and needed!
- Love your new state you are in now!
This is a very important point. Many people fall into love addiction and do not forget about past relationships because they are afraid to accept the reality in which they find themselves. This fear again drives them into the past, where they lived happily.
Only love and interest (!) in the current state of your life will lead you safely out of suffering. Be interested in what is happening to you now. If you don’t like something, then change your attitude towards it. In other words, if you suffer from being lonely, then stop suffering, and simply accept your loneliness as a stage when you can become yourself. You are not trying to change your loneliness, but change your own attitude towards it... Be interested and love, then your reasons for running into the past will disappear.
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How to stop being jealous of someone's past
Most young people have the habit of not trusting their loved ones and being jealous of their past. It is necessary to understand that the former relationship is over. If a person is with you, it means he has found new love, passion and he feels good. Otherwise, the guy will not start a serious relationship if he still loves his ex-girlfriend.
The opportunity to unobtrusively find out what he most disliked and irritated her about her will allow her to get rid of such character traits and become ideal in his eyes. Experts advise in such situations to try to remind your beloved guy as little as possible about his former lovers, so as not to light a fire from a suddenly ignited spark.
There is no need to involve an invisible rival in your relationship; you need to become for him the person he has dreamed of all his life.
How to stop a guy being jealous of other girls?
Girls, in principle, can be jealous of their boyfriends. This is a normal feeling that shows that a girl does not want to break up with her boyfriend. However, sometimes jealousy reaches a critical point. And here you need to realize that it’s time to do something about it.
The problem is that jealousy pushes the girl into spying, distrusting the guy and various checks. Girls start spying on their boyfriends, checking their things, rummaging through their phones. Even if you find some correspondence with a girl or women’s things, this will not be clear evidence of betrayal. Do not forget that girls can deliberately plant their things on men so that they will be found by their companions and cause a huge scandal because of this.
How to stop being jealous of your boyfriend towards other girls? You just need to understand that it’s not you who should be jealous, but him. A girl should have a sense of self-esteem, which becomes more attractive to any man than jealousy and snot.
Girls who are confident in themselves and do not run after men evoke more affection, respect and love than eternally whining, distrustful and hysterical ladies. A girl can be cheated on by absolutely anyone. Only a girl with her own dignity will not tolerate betrayal and will immediately leave the guy if she finds out about his betrayal. Her boyfriend knows this well.
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What if he's an ex?
When the guy is no longer yours, and it doesn’t even matter if he left you or you decided to break up, most girls are still interested in how life is going. And sometimes a paradoxical fact: jealousy awakens. It seems that the ex has found himself some kind of kikimora. Even if she is beautiful, smart, kind and didn’t even steal him from you. In this case, the feeling of jealousy awakens even more strongly. After all, since such a girl appreciated him, maybe you have lost a really good person. But you can’t jump on a departing train. Therefore, you need to do everything to quickly stop being jealous of your ex-husband or boyfriend.
If your ex is your friend on social networks, then it is better to delete him. “Staying friends” is definitely not worth it. It’s better to cut off all connections, not watch his life, so as not to concentrate on it. Although if he started dating a girl who constantly posts new photos online, the temptation is great.
If the guy you were dating wants to communicate himself, that's a different matter. It’s better not to follow his lead, because it’s convenient for him to keep someone close. If he didn’t even think about being friends with you, and you are trying with all your might to impose yourself, it’s not worth it. This way you will only get drawn into this relationship and will not be able to build new ones.
It’s worse when, thinking about how to stop being jealous of your ex-boyfriend, you try to be guided by the principle of “knock it out with wedge.” And for this you get yourself a new man, but at the same time you look at how your ex-boyfriend is doing. So, you shouldn’t start a new relationship until you have lived through the previous ones. Yes, it may seem that being alone is bad and painful. But here you already need to entertain yourself, do what you want. You can even go on a trip, and if your friends can’t, then go alone.
Did you want to learn another language, English or Spanish? Sign up for yoga or dancing? Do you dream of mastering a new profession? You have all the cards in your hands, and you are not thinking about how to develop your personality, but how to stop experiencing a constant feeling of jealousy.
A good joke is truer than ever: you don’t need to watch a man, it’s better to watch yourself, and then he will be jealous.
The article was checked and approved by a psychologist. Gryzlova Olga Yuryevna, special psychologist, 15 years of experience. Learn more about the expert.
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Tags: learn not to be jealous, relationship with a guy, jealousy
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Advice from a psychologist on how to stop being jealous of a guy
Girls are often jealous of their boyfriends. And so that your jealousy does not harm your relationship, and also does not spoil your mood, you should take the advice of a psychologist on how to stop experiencing this feeling. In fact, the girl must sort out her thoughts and her own self-esteem. Often girls are simply not confident in themselves, which is why they blow their boyfriends’ minds.
- Why are you jealous?
- What makes you think another girl is better than you?
- Who does the guy end up with?
- Who is the guy dating at the moment?
If you understand that among all the girls the guy chooses you, then there will be no reason for jealousy. Why be jealous, even if a guy looks at other ladies, it’s not with the goal of cheating, but simply out of animal instinct. But in fact, he continues to stay with you and build a relationship.
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Bottom line
Of course, jealousy is not always unfounded. There are a lot of guys who simply can't or won't be faithful to their ladies. In this case, the girl’s jealousy is indeed a natural reaction. But here you need to decide not what to do with your emotions, but how to deal with the guy.
The girl must make a firm decision for herself whether she agrees to stay with a guy who does not inspire her trust. You need to understand that jealousy will not help yourself and will not strengthen your relationship. But the guy clearly doesn’t inspire confidence in you. Should I continue my relationship with him? Perhaps it's worth finding that guy who will definitely show that he is faithful?
