What is puberty and what “surprises” can await parents of teenagers?

What happens in the body

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At the age of 10-12, most boys begin rapid sexual development; it is at this age that erection in adolescents and the awakening of libido go together. Frequent erections can be the result of childhood fantasies, secret conversations of growing boys on spicy topics, and sometimes viewing of prohibited videos and photos.

Doctors and parents look at these moments with different eyes, and if the latter are often horrified, according to their concept, children and masturbation are incompatible, then experts consider children's masturbation to be a completely normal phenomenon.

An erection cannot be considered a pathology in a teenager if it begins due to tight clothing, while riding a bicycle or while running. It would seem that an erect penis for no reason is just training the boy’s reproductive system; morning and night penis enlargement is a sign that sexual development in children is going in the right direction.

Parents should be careful about the topic of erections in boys.

It doesn’t matter from what moment the parents noticed that the boy had an erection (at 2 years old or at 12 years old), they should treat this as tactfully, tolerantly and accurately as possible. Even if they are very worried about this phenomenon, they should not regard it as a harmful message for moralizing

This is especially true for boys at the stage of puberty, unlike girls, their psyche at this age is very vulnerable.

Puberty lasts about 5 years. Its onset approximately falls at the age of 10-12 years, and ends by adulthood.

The main signs that mark the beginning of growing up are:

Growth of the sexual organ.
Voice change.
The appearance of hair on the face and armpits.

But these are only external manifestations, and how many changes occur inside the body! The most significant of all processes is perhaps the “hormonal explosion.” The active production of “adult” hormones – testosterone – begins.

Once in the body, testosterone affects the boy’s psychological state and behavior. It activates the process of developing sexuality. Testosterone affects libido. Under its influence, the young man develops sexual interest, which is expressed in fantasies and dreams of an intimate nature. As a result, cases of involuntary erection become more frequent.

Since, for obvious reasons, the young man is not yet able to release sexual energy in the usual way (sexual intercourse), parents often catch boys masturbating. Moreover, seven out of ten parents panic, not knowing how to react and what to do about it.

The opinions of sexologists and psychologists regarding masturbation are divided. Some people think that this is normal during puberty, while others take the completely opposite side.

The initial erection in a child causes a lot of mixed feelings. Therefore, psychologists recommend that parents conduct conversations on the topic of puberty. In order for the information to be timely, you need to know at what age to start discussing this topic. In addition, overcoming yourself and talking about an “uncomfortable” topic with your son is not an easy task.

A man should conduct such conversations with a boy. No matter how old a child is, talking to a mother about a sexual topic will confuse and embarrass both of them. Moreover, the mother is a woman

One wrong word thrown out by chance can seriously hurt the fragile psyche of a young man. If, due to life circumstances, there is no adult man in the house with whom the boy could talk, it is recommended that the mother, when he reaches the age of 10, provide information (books, magazines) to which explained his condition in accessible language.

No matter how old the child is, having noticed the fact of their son’s erection, parents should not focus on this. Remarks from which a child can conclude that a basic physiological state should be ashamed are not allowed. Tact, understanding and friendliness must be shown as much as possible

Boys are very vulnerable as they grow up. Under the influence of a hormonal surge, a child may become depressed, tired, aggressive and touchy. Any word can cause not only offense, but also psychological trauma.

Due to the onset of puberty and the appearance of the male hormone (testosterone) in the body, boys often experience sexual desire and arousal. The body begins to produce sperm. Gradually, sperm accumulates in the testicles. Excessive sperm causes a phenomenon called wet dreams in adolescents.

A wet dream is an involuntary ejaculation. Mostly occurs at night. It is a natural release of sexual tension. Typically occurs during sleep, presumably of an erotic nature. But the young men don’t remember them.

Nocturnal emission is a sign that the guy has reached the stage of development of the reproductive system in which manhood is ready to perform its functions.

Types of teenage depression

Depression is difficult to recognize, since the behavior of young children of this age is often caused not by negative emotions, but by mood swings caused by the process of puberty. But a constant bad mood, deterioration in school performance and some other manifestations of a difficult age may indicate the presence of depression. It should be borne in mind that this is a disease, and it is not a type of mood, but a mental disorder. In general, there are several types of depression:

Classic depression. At this age, young people often feel sad, depressed, and anxious. A person stops experiencing pleasure from his usual activities. Favorite films, photos, food cause an attack of irritability. Symptoms of classic depression in adolescence include slowness of movement and thinking, and external lack of will.

Neurotic depression. This type of depression, sometimes characteristic of adolescence, occurs as a result of a long-term situation that traumatizes the psyche. The disease begins with a decrease in mood, tearfulness and a feeling of unfair treatment. Symptoms of neurotic depression may include problems falling asleep, anxious waking up, weakness, morning headaches, and low blood pressure.

Psychogenic depression. It develops with the loss of vital values for a young person of adolescence (and not only). This could be the death of loved ones, a break in relationships. Psychogenic depression of this age can develop in a short time. Its signs include internal tension, anxiety about fate, melancholy and lethargy, and complaints about one’s worthlessness. When such symptoms appear, you must immediately pay attention to the guy or girl and take them to a psychologist before they consider suicide to be the best way out of the situation.

Signs of puberty

In boys, adolescence begins with swelling of the testicles, and later the penis and other genital organs enlarge. This occurs on average at 11-15 years of age.
At the same time, hair appears in the genital area.
After a couple of years, hair begins to appear on the face and body.
There is a break in the voice (changes from low to high).
At the very beginning of maturation, a slight enlargement of the mammary glands may be observed, which disappears after a year or two.
Night ejaculations.
Reactions common to both sexes (aggression, inconsistency, fatigue, maximalism).
The desire to demonstrate one's physical strength.

In boys, puberty begins at 13-14 years old and ends at 16-17 years old. The specificity of sexual development is the desire to look older, “cooler,” and to be like one’s idols. They, just like girls, are attracted to the opposite sex. However, they rarely truly fall in love; more often they “play at relationships.”

Gender identification in boys is closely related to the image of a woman nearby. That is, the more female examples there are around, the more the boy realizes his masculinity. The more feminine the girls around him are, the more he feels like a man.

Puberty is manifested by specific changes that are reflected in external data and also affect the functioning of various systems and organs. The boy's body is growing faster. The child grows taller. His overall muscle mass increases. The width of the shoulder girdle increases. As a result, the figure acquires the proportions characteristic of a male body. The genitals also increase in size.

Hair gradually forms on the body. It starts from the scrotum and groin area, as well as the armpits. Over time, hair begins to actively grow throughout the body, and then appears on the face. Initially, several hairs appear in the corners of the upper lip and on the upper part of the cheeks. Within a year, such youthful fluff appears above the upper lip and in the middle.

The vocal cords increase in size. The throat muscles begin to actively form. In addition, the Adam's apple is formed. This causes the voice to break, as well as its subsequent coarsening. This process begins after thirteen years of age. Within two years it leads to the full development of the voice.

In addition to the above changes, the boy’s body also undergoes changes. The central nervous system during this period is in an overly excitable state. Behavioral reactions often contain inconsistency and unpredictability. Such signs signal a rapid pace of restructuring of the body.

Therefore, the support and attention of loved ones during this period is above all else.

In the life of every family where a boy is raised, there comes a period when he grows up and begins to show a “masculine” interest in his peers. What are the primary “symptoms” of puberty, and how do they manifest in boys? Did it start in a timely manner in the child? As part of our article, we will talk in detail about how little boys gradually turn into men.

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There is nothing wrong with timely puberty, as it seems to mothers, no, the child simply faces a colossal hormonal surge. During puberty in boys, their bodies undergo a number of changes. In fact, to understand that this process has started, it is not at all necessary to wait for the first hairs to appear on the child’s chest; he will begin to shave, humming in a deep voice in the bathroom.

The first signs of puberty in boys are not the growth of hair on the body or face. Typically, these physiological processes “start” when the child turns 10-11 years old. First, the testicles swell, and at the same time the teenager notices how the penis increases in size. We are not talking about an erection, but rather about the size of the penis.

An alarming sign in this case is if the above does not happen until the age of 13-15. This may indicate genetic pathologies in the child or chromosomal abnormalities. In addition, delayed puberty in boys can be caused, among other things, by a tumor in the pituitary gland or hypothalamus. Also, late puberty was noted in boys with kidney disease and diabetes.

Precocious (early) puberty in boys is no less alarming. It is considered as such if a boy under nine years of age begins to grow pubic hair and swell his testicles. The reason for this may well be the diseases and pathologies listed above. In any case, if you notice something similar in your child, contact your pediatrician immediately.

Within normal limits

It is considered normal if an eleven-year-old child’s penis begins to grow, increasing annually by 0.5-1 centimeter in length. Regarding the size of the “dignity” itself, it is considered normal if the penis is at least five centimeters long by the age of eleven. By the age of twelve, the teenager's testicles should begin to swell, after which pubic hair appears.

By the age of fourteen, a teenager will begin the process of mutation of the vocal cords (voice breakdown), and the Adam's apple (Adam's apple) will also clearly appear. This process can continue until the age of 16-17 years. From the age of fourteen, active hair growth begins throughout the body, the first to become covered with hair in the armpits.

By this same age, fluff appears under the youngster’s nose, which in a year or two should turn into an almost full-fledged mustache. At the age of 13-14 years, engorgement of the nipples occurs, which may be accompanied by pain. This process is absolutely natural, and there is no need to worry about pain.

In fourteen-year-old boys, the process of formation of seminal fluid and its “inhabitants” – spermatozoa – begins. This process is continuous, therefore, during this period, boys may experience ejaculation (ejaculation) during sleep, which is preceded by a wet dream (this is facilitated by dreams of erotic content)

During this period, it is very important to clearly explain to the teenager all the nuances of his age-related changes. It is better to entrust such a conversation to the father

The child should be reassured and explained that this is normal, because now the boy has become a man.

It is very important to promptly seek help from a specialist if you suspect something wrong about this. A problem identified at an early stage is often resolved very quickly.

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Within normal limits

Within normal limits

During adolescence, the appearance and psyche of a boy changes. The period is accompanied by hormonal changes and puberty. The teenager begins to be self-critical of appearance and worry.

Practice shows that boys who are exposed to great physical activity and drink alcoholic beverages reach puberty later than their peers who engage in physical education and do not kill their health with bad habits.

By knowing the signs and symptoms of adolescence, you can identify the onset of changes early and provide support to your child.

At the age of ten, a boy’s genitals begin to enlarge. A year later, vegetation and pigmentation of the scrotum appears above the genitals. The following year, the genitals continue to grow, and the vegetation becomes longer and denser.
At the age of 14, the voice changes. This is due to the enlargement of the vocal cords, the development of throat muscles and cartilage. The voice begins to get rougher. Typically, voice development ends within 24 months.
The hair on the armpits begins to grow, and the upper lip is covered with the first fluff. Over time, hair appears on the face, legs and arms. The formation of bodily hair ends at the end of adolescence.
By the age of 14, a young man’s muscles begin to develop, his shoulders widen, and his height increases.
Almost all boys in adolescence develop wet dreams - nocturnal ejaculation. Doctors consider this phenomenon normal.

The child is growing Transitional age from 07 02 13

As you can see, the transition period is characterized by distinct signs and symptoms.

Beginning of adolescence

Adolescence is a period of change, both physiologically and emotionally, in other words, the child becomes a teenager. The main point during this period is puberty. The onset of adolescence depends on the child’s genetic predisposition and lifestyle.

Changes in the body can begin at 9 years old and at 15. The duration of the period is determined individually, and if for some the period is limited to 2-3 years, then for others the transitional age sometimes lasts up to 7 years.

Teenagers are usually called girls from 10 to 15 years old, boys from 11 to 17 years old. Puberty in females occurs earlier and lasts a short period of time.

Do not confuse “adolescence” with “puberty”. The last concept is one of the phases that a child goes through in the process of maturation.

There are three stages in total:

Tips for parents

You have to come to terms with the fact of growing up. This process is considered physiological, it just has to start sooner or later

In such a difficult period, it is very important to show tact and friendliness towards the child, since just one wrong word can ruin the relationship with the child for a long time

Mom and dad should not judge the young man for the following:

Sudden mood swings;
Viewing intimate magazines;
Uncontrolled erection process.

If you suddenly catch a child masturbating, then it is very important to remain silent at this moment and pretend that nothing bad happened, giving him the opportunity to clean up after himself. You don’t need to dwell on this yourself either.

Doctors do not have a common point of view on this matter. Some of them believe that emptying the testicles is a normal process from a physiological point of view, while others consider it immoral and unacceptable.

Parents will definitely not be able to influence such a process, and if a teenager wants to do this, he will always find an opportunity to retire.

Physical development

The height of boys peaks at 13 (13.5) years - 15 years, and slows down by 18 years. At the same time, weight increases from 14 to 16 years.

Adolescence marks the final phase of development of the human immune system. In boys, this occurs at 14-15 years of age. The development of immunity depends on external environmental conditions and heredity. This is why it is important for teenagers:

eat well and properly;
exercise;
avoid bad habits.

There is a gradual increase in blood pressure. The pulse is slightly higher than normal, but lower than in girls. However, like them, headaches, dizziness, and weakness occur.

In boys, muscle mass increases at the age of 14, but matching the strength of an adult man is achieved later.

Breath

The respiratory organs are growing. In young men, abdominal breathing predominates. Boys can more easily tolerate shortness of breath during physical activity.

Teenager in the modern world

The authors of the UNICEF report “The State of the World's Children” (2011) note that adolescence is an important stage of human development. After all, it is in the second decade of life that poverty and inequality become more pronounced. Young people from poorer backgrounds are less likely to receive an education. They are more likely to be subject to violence. They are forced into hard work and are forced into early marriages. In the developing world, girls are three times more likely to be married before age 18 than in rich countries. Early marriages are accompanied by high maternal and child mortality rates, as well as poverty and poverty. The majority of today's teenagers—88%—live in developing countries. Many of them face enormous difficulties.

According to a World Health Organization report on the health of adolescents around the world, young people in this age category are most likely to experience depression, which is why the third most common cause of death for adolescents is suicide, surpassed only by road accidents and HIV/AIDS. Depression is also a leading cause of adolescent morbidity and disability. The report separately notes that in those countries where the Internet is most developed, a direct connection has been identified between teenage suicides and so-called cyberbullying - severe bullying on the Internet, which regularly claims the lives of an increasing number of schoolchildren and students.

Treatment and prevention of impotence

It is not always possible to get rid of this problem, especially organic impotence. As for psychogenic, it is treatable

During treatment, all nuances must be taken into account and attention is paid to all changes occurring in the man’s body.

Mistakes made with psychogenic impotence:

The young man refuses to establish a connection with his partner.
Non-recognition and hiding of the existing problem.
Treatment with medications and mechanical methods that were used previously.
Lack of proper lifestyle.
Refusal of treatment.

Normalization of the daily routine. Sleep at least 7 hours, especially over 40 years of age

Pay great attention to rest. Start eating right - nourishing, high-calorie, protein-rich food, rich in vitamins and minerals. Increase the consumption of fruits and vegetables, herbs, cereals and dairy products. Solving psychological problems. Sex prevention. Psychotherapy.

Impotence can also be treated with medications, but treatment is prescribed only after a complete examination of the body to detect other diseases. If you do not conduct such a preliminary examination, then you may not take into account contraindications, which can cause colossal harm to other organs and systems. For impotence, the following are often prescribed: Viagra, Ciales, Levitra.

In the complex of preventive measures, experts recommend including:

Normal lifestyle.
Refusal of bad habits and interruption of the act of love.
Avoid regular self-gratification.
Treatment of burns, injuries, genetic diseases, heart diseases, parasitic infestations.
Treatment of sexually transmitted infections.
Regular sex.
Avoid promiscuous sex.
Timely consultation with a doctor.
Proper sex.

Also, to avoid disruptions in the functioning of the sexual sphere, it is necessary to consume plants (eleutherococcus, maral root, aralia, sea buckthorn, etc.) that have biostimulating effects, as well as medicines based on them. Doctors recommend consuming more sunflower oil, which stimulates erections in men.

If you do not have the opportunity to purchase the above plants, then try to eat as many foods rich in vitamin E as possible. It perfectly helps maintain male strength at the desired level.

Recommendations for parents

Of all the elements of puberty, the phenomenon of nocturnal ejaculation can cause the greatest indignation (fear, embarrassment, misunderstanding, uncertainty) in boys. It's important to talk to your son about this. It is important for boys, like girls, to know the features of their reproductive system (in advance).
If you can’t talk to a teenager about puberty yourself (by the way, believe me, he experiences no less discomfort), then just give him a good book with accessible information. The boy will decide for himself what exactly and when he wants to learn from it.
Give your teen skin care tips or take them to a dermatologist. Teenagers are very important to their appearance.
Don’t ignore your teenager’s feelings about his appearance, even if you consider your son ideal. It is important to explain that this is temporary and a person’s appearance is formed anatomically before the age of 20, and later can be easily corrected on their own.
Don't make the situation worse by shouting about the insignificance of his problems.
Remember that deviant behavior, which is common in adolescents, is compensation for an inferiority complex. It is important to figure out why a teenager is not confident and help.
Judge the actions, not the teenager.
You definitely love it.
Success largely depends on self-esteem. Self-esteem must be supported from the outside (the task of parents). Believe me, a teenager scolds himself enough and focuses on his shortcomings. Your task, as opposed to noticing only positive aspects. At least focus attention on them.
Communication with peers and hobbies are very important. If it does not harm the child and society, then let him listen to “creepy” music or look “scary”.
In terms of restrictions, we need to present a united front. A teenager should not be able to find a “loophole” in the family.

Thus, the task of the parents of a teenage boy is to teach him to act independently, take responsibility for his actions, choose his social circle and life guidelines. It is important to promote the development of positive character traits and reduce the severity of negative ones (or accentuations). To do this, you can conduct conversations, independently research the personality (questionnaires, surveys).

Self-knowledge and self-determination are the basis of age. For boys, self-determination is more focused on professional activities. Often they even strive to find a part-time job. This is good and should not be prevented. But we need to help set adequate priorities and find a compromise together.

However, there is also the opposite option - passivity. Then you need to help your teenager find a hobby.

When interacting with a teenager, it is important to avoid authoritarianism and cruelty, liberalism (“family idol”), overprotection and hypoprotection. These are destructive parenting styles. They have a destructive impact on the relationship between children and parents and their personalities.

The establishment of a friendly cooperative relationship with a teenager will be facilitated by:

visual and tactile contact (a natural need of all people, often unconscious);
active listening (voicing the child’s feelings: “you’re upset because you can’t do your homework”);
pronouncing your feelings, especially negative ones (but not “you upset me,” but “I’m upset,” that is, use I-statements).

First time

A young mother, seeing a boner on her little son, immediately falls into bewilderment, not understanding why this is happening. Initially, it should be noted that erections in children are purely mechanical. She has no connection with sexual moments or hormones. Most often, the cause of an erection in a baby is the friction of the penis against underwear or a full bladder.

A slight malfunction in the nervous system can also cause the spinal center responsible for erection to spontaneously fire. This is a normal phenomenon and worries about this are inappropriate. But there are also diseases that contribute to excess blood flow to the genital organ. For this reason, contacting a doctor is necessary if the child has an erection very often and the penis is tense for a long time.

Numerous ultrasound examinations of women during pregnancy show that the first erection in boys occurs in the prenatal period. This is due to the development of the nervous and muscular systems. It's no secret that even after birth, the male reproductive system continues to actively improve; a number of inevitable processes occur, during which a boy can have his first erection.

Often, a one-year-old child, studying his body, begins to show an active interest in the genital organ, since touching it causes pleasant sensations even in the smallest men. Observing an erection during such studies, many mothers begin to scold their sons and constantly pull them back

There is no need to focus on this. For young children, the penis is an organ just like an arm, leg or ear.

No one scolds a child who studies his ears?

Literature on the topic

In parting, I want to recommend a couple of books.

Yu. P. Gippenreiter “Communicate with the child. How?".
O. V. Kholodkovskaya, V. A. Pashnina “Difficult transitional age: Easy solution to complex problems.”

I advise you to read articles on the same topic: “Transitional age in girls - advice from a psychologist” and “Transitional age and crisis in adolescents - advice from a psychologist.”

Thank you for your attention. I wish you mutual understanding with your children! Listen and you will be heard.

Problems of adolescence

This age is often called problematic

It is very important to find a common language with a teenager during this period, even better for parents - to be an authority for him

Many difficulties are related to the psychological side of the issue. Teenagers, even being calm and balanced before, begin to behave completely differently. They are rude and can even be rude to their elders. A passion for denial awakens, youthful maximalism coupled with teenage nihilism is a real test for parents; here they should be wise.

The other side of the coin is external changes during adolescence, which do not always carry positive emotions. We are talking about the appearance of pimples and acne on the face at this time, which can truly become a disaster for young men who dream of becoming adult men as soon as possible. This trouble is caused by the active work of the sebaceous glands during adolescence.

Notes

I. Adolescence: a historical approach / Kle M.
Psychology of a teenager // Psychology of a teenager. Reader / Comp. Frolov Yu. I. - M.: Russian Pedagogical Agency, 1997. - P. 103-140.

Everyone knows the concept of “adolescent age,” but few have the opportunity to say exactly what it is and how it is characterized. And most importantly, most parents are concerned at what age does adolescence begin? It is not possible to give specific numbers, since for each child the beginning of adolescence depends on individual characteristics: for some, changes in the body occur at 11, for others at 14, and the number of years is not always considered the main sign of the onset of the transition period.

Many parents are frightened by the moment when a child enters adolescence, since stereotypes create only a negative image of this period in the mind. Quarrels, scandals and child behavior - all this frightens adults. But if you learn how to treat such a child correctly, the risk of conflicts will be minimal. Any teenager is extremely irritated during this period; he needs maximum support to divert attention from unpleasant situations.

During adolescence

Puberty begins at 10–11 years of age

In their second decade, boys begin to gradually enter adulthood. Naturally, a lot of time will pass before a boy grows into a real man, but puberty begins at the age of 10–11. First of all, the changes are associated with the penis, which becomes larger. From this moment on, erections in boys cease to be mechanical in nature and arise due to sexual desire.

During this period, guys begin to have erotic dreams and wet dreams. Involuntary ejaculation in boys occurs due to strong sexual arousal and is an absolute norm. The frequency of ejaculation in boys during sleep is individual and depends on the degree of maturation of the nervous and reproductive systems.

This occurs from insufficient arterial blood supply to the penis at rest. If the genital organ remains in this condition throughout the night, this can lead to a lack of oxygen in its tissues. Erections that occur at night prevent hypoxia of penile tissue and can begin from birth and occur at any age.

Such erections in adolescents can occur up to 5-6 times throughout the night and last up to 20 minutes each. Researchers have found that nocturnal erections occur only during the rapid phase of sleep, when the brain is active, the eyes move quickly, and the heartbeat and breathing increase. If a guy wakes up and does not find a boner, this means that the awakening occurred during the slow phase of sleep, when all body systems are in a calm state.

Erection in the morning

Erection in the morning

Erection in the morning

Reluctance to grow up

Young people in the West are getting married and having children later and later.

According to the British National Bureau of Statistics, in England and Wales the average age of first marriage in 2013 was 32.5 years for men and 30.6 years for women. This is almost eight years later than the 1973 figures.

“Although many of the privileges expected of adults are acquired by the age of 18, acceptance of an adult role and the responsibilities that come with it generally occurs later,” writes the director of the children’s health center at the Royal Children’s Hospital in the article. Melbourne Professor Susan Sawyer.

Later marriages, the birth of children and the onset of financial independence give rise to a situation in which the period of “semi-dependence” among maturing adolescents becomes longer than is commonly believed, Sawyer writes.