A 2-3 year old child is hysterical, what to do

Children's tantrums can unsettle even the most patient parent. At the moment of extreme nervous excitement, the child ceases to respond adequately to what is happening around him. He cries, screams loudly, rolls on the floor, flails his arms and legs, bites those around him, and even hits his head against the wall. At this moment, it is useless to contact the child with requests to stop the hysteria. This will make him scream even more, realizing that with his behavior sooner or later he will be able to achieve what he wants. Read more in the article about why this happens and what to do if a child is hysterical. We will definitely share the opinion of the authoritative pediatrician Dr. Komarovsky and tell us what psychologists think about this problem.

Why is the child hysterical?

As the child grows up, certain desires appear that do not always coincide with what older family members want for him. If the child continues to insist on his own, and the parents continue to prohibit, the first prerequisite for hysteria arises. At this stage, the baby experiences rage, anger, and despair. As a result, his nervous system cannot stand it, crashes, requires a reboot - and within a minute the child is hysterical. With the help of a heart-rending scream and tears, he gives vent to the emotions overwhelming him.

Any hysteria has prerequisites that provoke such behavior in the child. The following are the main reasons why children become hysterical:

inability to express your dissatisfaction with words;
attracting attention;
conflicts in the family;
changes in the usual way of life;
the desire to obtain the desired item;
overwork, feeling of hunger;
lack of sleep;
poor health, weakness of the body during or after an illness;
the desire to manipulate adults and act like them;
excessive strictness and overprotectiveness of parents;
mistakes in education;
fuzzy system of rewards and punishments for the baby;
taking the baby away from an interesting activity;
imbalance of the child's nervous system.

From the list presented above, you can see how many prerequisites a child has for hysteria. But the child’s nervous system is still too weak to respond correctly to all the events that happen to the baby throughout the day. Tantrums occur in 80% of children under 6 years of age, and in half of them the attacks are regular. Most often, as the child grows up, they go away on their own, as unexpectedly as they appeared. But in any case, this problem cannot be completely ignored.

Basic principles of raising children without punishment

Raising a child without screaming, threats and punishment is possible, although difficult. But the result will be worth it. To avoid frustration, learn to follow several principles.

1. The most important thing is patience. This is what parents who decide not to use punishment and yelling in their parenting methods should stock up on. Despite all the difficulties, they will grow up to be a self-sufficient and self-confident person.

2. Children deserve to be simply loved. And if they indulge, this does not mean that they do not love the parent. You need to understand the reason for this action.

3. A child, like an adult, should be accepted with all his advantages and disadvantages. It is possible to re-educate a child, but it is better to do this with caution and without screaming.

4. A parent must pay attention to his child. No matter how busy he is, no matter how tired he is at work, no matter how much he wants to watch TV, the baby needs care and love.

5. You need to understand that a child, even the smallest one, is a person. He has his own tastes, interests, preferences, which should not be neglected in education.

6. Children always try to imitate their parents in everything. Therefore, it is not effective to lie to yourself and behave unworthily - the student will immediately repeat this pattern of behavior.

7. Psychological pressure will not lead to a positive result. Therefore, the more the parent demands from the baby, the sooner he will begin to resist and do everything his own way.

8. You need to be faithful to your decisions and not give in. If you threatened that he will not receive sweets until the morning, then be sure to fulfill it.

Psychologists have proven that children who have not been punished are less aggressive. Therefore, you should not instill in your child a feeling of insecurity and dislike for himself and others.

Is it possible to prevent hysteria?

Many parents know from their own experience that stopping an attack that has begun is no less difficult than stopping a train moving at full speed. But still, if a child is just about to throw a tantrum, you can still try to prevent it using the following methods:

Adhere to a routine and daily routine in which the child feels as calm and comfortable as possible. If possible, allow the baby to get enough sleep in the morning, do not force-feed, provide moderate physical activity and daily walks in the fresh air.
Give the child the opportunity to say “no” if this does not entail dangerous consequences and does not infringe on the interests of other people. This will allow him to learn to take responsibility for his actions.
Provide your child with the opportunity to express their anger safely. He can beat an inflatable ball with his hands, shout, and jump on the spot. This will relieve emotional stress and prevent hysteria.
Do not scold your child for screaming, running or jumping. Don't try to sit him down and make him calm down. The child learns to cope with his emotions independently, which not all adults can do.
Play out the current situation. In role-playing games, the child can reveal the reason for his hysteria, and the mother will have the opportunity to better understand him and help him cope with nervous excitement.

Hysterics appeared...

Maybe you were familiar with this problem before, or maybe the child began to “make a scene” right now, reacting to kindergarten. A child who rolls on the floor and lets out piercing screams early in the morning, when you are nervous, late for work, and are painfully wondering how you can get him to kindergarten, can pretty much fray your nerves. But, like most other problems, this one is completely solvable, although it requires a lot of emotional “investment” on your part.

First of all, take a deep breath and calm down: this won't last forever. The child will grow up and stop having tantrums much faster than you think now. In children's hysterics, the most painful thing for parents is not even the child's behavior in itself, but the parent's own feeling of complete powerlessness, confusion, and lack of knowledge of how to behave in such a situation.

You yourself know what you need to maintain: calm and only calm. But how to do this? To begin with, organize your time in such a way that the threat of being late for work does not put pressure on you. If you already know that getting ready for kindergarten will be accompanied by a scandal, plan your time taking into account this sad fact: agree at work that over the next few weeks you will arrive half an hour or an hour later. If this is not possible, you will have to get up earlier.

By the way, it is possible that this very simple measure will be enough to stop the morning “trills”: a child may be noisy precisely because he is disgusted by the morning rush. It is possible that he needs a smoother, more leisurely preparation for the daily transition from home to kindergarten. And if he has the opportunity to play at home for fifteen minutes before going to kindergarten or have breakfast with his mother, and not in a group, it is likely that he will calm down.

If this doesn't help, learn some simple rules for dealing with a rebellious child. Morning tantrums associated with going to kindergarten most often have the nature of manipulation: the child really hopes that in this way he will be able to “defeat” you and the kindergarten will finally be cancelled.

Let him know that you are not afraid of his hysterics and will not comply with his demands just because he is lying on the floor and making very unpleasant sounds. The child must see that you are not angry with him, do not blame him and are not going to punish him, but do not intend to give in. Your calm and friendly persistence and consistency will ensure that “demonstration performances” will very soon become a thing of the past.

During a tantrum, do not leave your child alone. Believe me, he would be very scared to be left alone with his uncontrollable emotions. If you feel that it is now difficult for you to cope with yourself, you can go out for a few minutes, but be sure to tell your baby that you will be back soon!

Develop and discuss rules for behavior during outbursts with your child. For example: he can scream, fall on the bed or stomp his feet, but he cannot throw things, bite and scratch, spit and scream in his parents’ ears. Believe me, despite all the turbulence and seemingly uncontrollability of what is happening, kids quickly learn these rules. It is necessary to have some kind of preventive measures in reserve in case the child does cross the line. You can gently but firmly put your hands on his shoulders, squeeze his arms or legs, and say, “Stop. You can't fight, it's against the rules. I'll help you stop." If during a tantrum a child throws toys or clothes, he must then collect them and put them back in place himself. Explain to your child what is happening to him: “This is a flash. You lost your temper because you don’t want to go to kindergarten and leave me. But you can stop, and I will help you. You still have to go to kindergarten, but when I pick you up, we can go for more walks together (or something else attractive and comforting for the child).” After the storm is over, be sure to “lower” the curtain: take the baby in your arms, hug and caress him, promise each other to live peacefully and amicably. Never reproach your child for his outbursts!

On the contrary, the baby will quickly outgrow this way of reacting if, after the outbursts, you praise him, noting his successes: “Well done! You were very angry, but you remembered that you couldn’t fight or scratch!” or “You’re already a big boy! It’s great that you didn’t scatter your toys when you were angry!”

SO, if a child becomes hysterical:

* Do not immediately cancel your decisions

* Do not forcefully pick up your child

* Do not try to lift the child from the floor

* Don't leave your child alone

* Monitor your emotional state

* Switch the child's attention

Ways to stop a tantrum

Children who fall to the floor right in the supermarket, scream heart-rendingly and beat with their hands, cause mixed reactions from passers-by. Some want to pick them up and spank them, while others just wail about how poorly the child was raised. Mom at this moment is ready to fall through the ground. In fact, there is no need to be shy at all. This is a very common situation and a problem that is commonly discussed today with child psychologists, psychiatrists and neurologists.

Meanwhile, when a child is hysterical, the mother can do the following:

Do not put pressure on the baby and do not scold him. Research has shown that tantrums cannot be stopped. It’s better to just keep quiet in this situation and wait until the baby calms down on its own.
Make the space around the child safe. The mother should remove piercing, cutting and heavy objects away from the baby or even move him to another place. During a hysteria, the child does not control his actions, so he can easily harm himself.
Limit the circle of strangers surrounding the child at the time of hysteria. First of all, you should ask those people who intimidate the baby to leave, for example, by the arrival of a policeman who can take the baby away from the mother.
Feel sorry for the child when the attack of hysteria stops. But you definitely shouldn’t encourage this behavior by buying chocolate or ice cream.
After some time, discuss the situation with the baby. The mother herself must explain to the child why he was hysterical, for example, because they didn’t buy him a car and so on. The baby may not even realize why at that moment he began to scream, cry and demand.

A mother whose child is hysterical for any reason should develop a certain model of behavior and stick to it until the baby stops such attacks. Psychologists have developed a whole system of restrictions on how not to act when a baby cries a lot.

How to deal with tantrums in a 5 year old child

How to deal with toddler tantrums in one-year-old children

Children's tantrums are a very unpleasant phenomenon; most parents have to deal with it, especially when the child turns 1 year old.
Children's tantrums are inevitable as a certain stage of child development. With his tantrums and whims, the child tries to achieve desired goals or express anger and anger about taboos or restrictions. Therefore, parents should know how to deal with children's tantrums in one-year-old children. The concept of hysteria and the concept of whim must be distinguished. The child’s behavior in these two cases is accompanied by screams, tears, and falling to the floor. In this case, whims are thoughtful in nature, the baby acts deliberately to achieve what he wants. Usually, whims are characteristic of children under two years of age. Hysterics arise involuntarily, the child loses control over his emotions, and his disappointment and anger are expressed in hysterical attacks.

Parents need to take into account that the child’s psyche is weak; during moments of hysterics, the baby cannot control his feelings and emotions. Definitely, the child is not playing, his despair and crying are sincere. He is emotionally stressed and needs your support even if his action is not justified by external reasons.

What should parents do if tantrums in one-year-old children become systematic? The most important point: if a child throws a tantrum, you should not do what the baby wants to achieve. If at least once the mother allows the child to take a vase that is not allowed in response to a tantrum, she will reinforce this behavior in the child and the hysterics will be repeated more than once. Indulging a child in the moment of hysteria means teaching the child to become hysterical in order to achieve his goals, that is, to be capricious. A child's tantrum will very soon become his favorite way to achieve goals.

You should not talk to your child during a tantrum. There is no need to persuade, scold, or shout - this is not only ineffective, but can also encourage further continuation of hysterical behavior.

Leaving your child alone is also not a good idea. Loneliness deepens despair. You need to be there, remaining calm, waiting out the child’s emotional outburst. When you realize that the intensity of passions is subsiding, you need to take the child in your arms, feel sorry for him and calm him down. Often, children themselves are not able to complete the last stage of hysteria, they cannot stop crying, so they need the help of an adult. You should not refuse your child affection even if he is wrong.

It is strictly forbidden to shout at the baby during his hysterics, much less spank him. Such measures only worsen the child’s condition. Shouting and spanking is also a kind of attention to the child, and it is attention that the child seeks from you. Try to remain calm and ignore the hysteria as much as possible. At the same time, you are in the same room with the child, minding your own business. Soon the child will understand that his hysterical behavior does not bring the desired results, which means there is no point in wasting his energy on it.

Observation is a good quality that helps a parent recognize the warning signs of hysteria in children's behavior. Perhaps it will be pursed lips or increasing snoring. As soon as you catch the movement of the beginning storm, try to immediately switch the baby’s attention to something entertaining. Distract his attention to the toy, to what is happening outside the window. Keep in mind that this method is only effective at the very beginning of a tantrum. When a child is in the midst of a hysterical fit, it is useless to try to switch the baby’s attention. Unsuccessful attempts to pacify a child will throw the adult out of balance.

Remember, overwork and fatigue contribute to the appearance of hysteria in a child. Put your child to bed on time for night and daytime sleep. Avoid overtiring. Do not overuse outdoor games; if your child is tired, read a book or draw. The child himself does not yet know how to stop running and jumping in time. Monitoring a child’s fatigue is the task of adults.

Thus, a calm attitude of parents towards children's hysterics, not bringing the situation to a critical moment, not indulging in a hysterical attack will make it possible to deal with children's hysterics more effectively.

Author: Voronetsky Oleg Vladimirovich

11:55, April 6, 2012 16498

A 4-year-old child often has tantrums and crying

8 15988 December 06, 2012

Ekaterina asks:

Hello, please tell me, our son is 4 years old, he often gets hysterical and cries. All he asks for is a walk, a toy, food, toilet, etc. accompanied by tears and screams, he very often throws hysterics, if we don’t do as he wants, he begins to shrink all over, blush, fight, how can we deal with this? Thank you in advance!

Hello, Ekaterina!

Let's first determine what your child is having: whim or hysteria? Hysterics in children are characterized by incredible brightness, grotesqueness, a kind of “playing for the audience,” dependence on external circumstances and the presence of spectators. A child's hysteria is usually accompanied by minor seizures: loud crying, screaming, banging his head against a wall or floor, scratching his face. In severe cases (grand mal seizures), involuntary convulsions occur, as well as the so-called “hysterical bridge,” in which the child arches over. A characteristic feature of children's tantrums is that they arise in response to an insult or unpleasant news, intensify with increased attention from others and can quickly stop after this attention dries up.

Caprice (French - whim, whim) - the desire of children to achieve something forbidden, unattainable or impossible at the moment. Whims are usually causeless and are almost always accompanied by crying, screaming, stamping of feet, and throwing away the first objects that come to hand. Sometimes a child’s whims are ridiculous and completely impossible to fulfill. For example, he suddenly wants milk, which is not in the house, or he wants to take a freight elevator, but a passenger elevator has arrived, or he wants to go to kindergarten with his mother, and his grandmother is leading him.

If whims and hysterics in children are constant, this may be a consequence of a disease of the nervous system, and the child should be shown to a neurologist. If everything is fine with health, and if the child does not allow himself to be whims or hysterics in front of one of the parents, then the root of the problem should be sought in family relationships, namely, in the parents’ reactions to the child’s behavior. Whims can arise in response to overly indulgent actions of adults, to their conflicting demands, or to overly strict measures that are applied to the baby. Regular children's hysterics and whims lead to psychogenic changes in character, undermine the normal psyche, and give rise to persistent psychopathic tendencies. This type of behavior corresponds to the following clinical picture - impatience, intolerance to the opinions of others, demandingness, suspicion, resentment, vindictiveness, anger, inappropriate emotional reactions. Children's tantrums and whims are almost always the result of improper parental behavior. If a child is allowed everything, all his demands are fulfilled, “as long as he doesn’t get upset,” then the consequences of such upbringing are capriciousness, spoiledness and permissiveness.

How to prevent tantrums in children.

Learn to prevent outbursts (children tantrum when they are tired, hungry or feel rushed. Try to anticipate such moments: do not go shopping when your child is hungry. When going to kindergarten, give enough time for the child to get dressed).

Switch children to actions (if your child is screaming and crying, ask him to come to you, give him something in his hands, instead of demanding that he stop screaming. In the first case, he will be more willing to fulfill the request.).

Give your child a name for his emotional state (the child may not be able to verbalize (or simply recognize) his feelings of rage. To help him control his emotions, you should give them a specific name, for example: “Maybe you’re angry because you didn’t get the cake.” Make it clear to him that, despite his feelings, there are certain limits to his behavior. Tell him: “Even though you are angry, you should not shout in the store.” This will help your child understand that there are situations in which such behavior is not acceptable.).

Tell your child the truth about the consequences (explain everything very simply: “You are behaving badly, and we will not allow it. If you continue, you will have to go to your room.”)

If the hysteria does start

First of all, you need to pull yourself together and try not to get irritated. At the moment of erupting passions, you should not indulge in long explanations, trying to reach the consciousness and conscience of the baby. The most humane way is to distract the baby. As soon as the hysteria begins, sharply switch his attention to something mysterious. For example, he screams, falls to the floor, and you calmly open the closet and see there... an amazing thing (a box). And begin to enthusiastically tell an extraordinary story and study this box. The child will become interested and quiet down. However, this technique requires a lot of imagination and mood. The main thing is to ignore the child’s hysteria with your behavior. If it has come to the point that he lies down on the sidewalk near the storefront, kicks his legs, and shouts at the top of his lungs: “I want it!”, then firmly and in simple words explain to the child why you will not fulfill his demand. Children's tantrums in public places are often aimed not so much at the mother (or a close adult) as at strangers. If you give in now, every shopping trip together will be a nightmare from now on. Of course, in each specific case you have to act differently, but try not to react to the “advice” of strangers, if possible, wait out this outbreak, wait until the affect becomes sluggish, continue your path in silence. Then, after a short time, when the child has calmed down, it is necessary to discuss what happened. “What happened today, I should have asked.” Explain that he will never achieve anything with such actions. Don't give in to provocations. As soon as the hysteria begins, get up and leave the room. Let him scream, let him fall to the floor and kick his feet. A show like this is meant for the viewer. It is clear that this spectacle is not for the faint of heart and the parent’s heart bleeds. Believe me, screaming when no one is paying attention to you is not interesting. After some time, the child will calm down and resume communication with you. It is better to wait until he does it himself, as some children wait for an adult to contact them before starting the tantrum again. Immediately switch it to some action - bring something, sort out a box of threads or beads, call grandma, etc... In most cases, especially if the child is over 4 years old, it is useful to punish, for example, to deprive sweets or something interesting. Teach your child to apologize for his actions, and next time it will be easier for him to control himself. But, most importantly, develop a single line of prohibitions and encouragements with the whole family. It is necessary to teach the child to express his desires in an acceptable way, to explain that it is impossible to get what he wants by shouting, and not to reinforce such manipulations in the child through his behavior.

Raising a 4-year-old child: how to deal with hysterics and whims

Many parents complain that their 4-year-old child does not obey, namely, he has become uncontrollable, irritable and throws tantrums for any reason. After each conflict, there is an unpleasant aftertaste in the soul and resentment, which entails the loss of a harmonious, trusting relationship between the four-year-old toddler and his parents.

What is the reason that a child does not obey at 4 years old?

Many psychologists categorically assert that the main reason is the incorrect behavior of parents with their child at the age of 2-3 years. Experts believe that 4-year-old children, whose psychology is very ambiguous, can cause scandals for the following reasons:

Lack of sufficient attention to the child from parents. The toddler begins to scream and throw tantrums, to which the parents immediately react, abandoning all their household chores, talking on the phone, watching TV shows, etc.
Expression of one’s “I”, a kind of self-affirmation. As a rule, such hysterics are thrown by children of prosperous families with overly caring parents and overprotective grandparents. In this case, disobedience is a child’s protest against adults carefully monitoring his every step.
A child's revenge for an insult. For 4 years, Karapuz has been hysterically trying to take revenge for an unfair punishment, for his secret being told, for a promise not kept by his parents, and for much more. The kid thinks: “If it’s bad for me, then let it be bad for my parents too.”
Loss of faith in yourself and your strengths. If stupid parents, who regularly scold their child for saying or doing something wrong, call him bad words: “bad head”, “moron”, “holey hands”, etc. The child loses faith in his success and behaves as adults say, without even trying to change anything.

“How to overcome tantrums in 4-year-old children? What to choose: carrot or stick?

- that's what worries parents. I will offer you a number of punishments that psychologists consider the most effective and loyal. And which one to choose is up to you, dear parents! Remember that your baby is an individual with a certain level of psychological development.

So, types of punishments:

Punishment using physical force. Namely, spanking on the ass, on the hands, slaps on the head, etc. In this method of education, the main thing is not to overdo it. Psychologists recommend that parents not do this rashly. It’s better to pause and mentally weigh: “Is it worth it – is it painful for the little one?” Maybe you will understand that the depth of the act is not so serious as to inflict corporal punishment on your child.
Punishment with words, threats, insults. This method can cause mental pain to the toddler, so I do not recommend using verbal punishment often. Judge for yourself: if a child is insulted, he will develop sadness, isolation, disappointment, and a decrease in self-esteem, which will entail deep psychological problems.
A more gentle method compared to the previous two is punishment by temporary isolation. Namely, put the prankster in a corner or lock one in a room. The only advice in this method would be that first you calmly and clearly explain to the little one why he is being punished, and then isolate him for a while so that he thinks about his behavior. Almost all psychologists recommend punishing children using this method, believing that it does not cause any physical or moral harm to the child.
Punishment in the form of deprivation of pleasure. This is the most gentle method, which implies, for example, a ban on your favorite candy, riding on a swing, watching cartoons, etc.
Punishment for performing a work task. This could be cleaning the room, washing dishes, working on the land, etc. Psychologists have two opinions about this method. On the one hand, the baby does not receive any physical or emotional injury, but on the other hand, he is brought up with an incorrect perception of life, and in particular: that work is punishment.

By the way, before using one or another type of punishment, first try to talk calmly with the baby, find out the reason why he is capricious, screaming or throwing a tantrum. The reason that a 4-year-old child is nervous may be his poor health. Perhaps he is tormented by pain in the abdomen, ear, throat, weakness from high fever or fatigue, the need for sleep and much more. Another recommendation would be that if a child pees at 4 years old, never punish him. Look for the cause, consult with specialists, help your child cope with this age-related problem. Be attentive to your kids, praise them more often, and then your relationship with your little one will be friendly and trusting.

How to deal with children's tantrums

Table of contents:

Crying, screaming, tears, stamping feet - from the outside it may seem that something terrible has happened: the child has been terribly offended or something is very painful for him. In fact, at this moment he does not feel bad at all: he is just playing out another scene to achieve his goal. Many parents are at a loss at such a moment: they do not know how to deal with children's tantrums and what to do to prevent them. Meanwhile, there are quite effective methods that will allow you to wean your child from organizing such concerts.

Why you need to fight hysterics

Fighting tantrums

There are parents who are quite lenient towards such violent manifestations of their child’s emotions. It will outgrow! - they console themselves. Are they right? No. A person's character is formed in childhood. The habit of achieving desires with hysterics can, in adulthood, turn into the habit of achieving everything you need with scandals or, even worse, threats. Communicating with such a person, much less living under the same roof, is not very comfortable. The first to suffer will be the parents themselves, who followed their child’s lead, allowing him in childhood to taste the sweetness of victory, won in a rather easy way - all you have to do is cry and scream...

What does the child want?

Manipulative child

If you watch your child more carefully for some time and try to analyze the situations when he threw tantrums, then it will soon become clear to you: he doesn’t so much need ice cream, a toy, a carousel, but rather he achieves one thing - he wants to lead, that is, to defeat adults ! Does he succeed? If the parents, tired of his hysterics, give up and make concessions - that’s fine!

Children are excellent psychologists

Child psychologist

It seems to many fathers and mothers that their children are still so naive and inexperienced that they simply cannot be cunning! In fact, all children are very observant and instantly find the weak point of their teachers. The latter, for example, are too lazy to persuade them for a long time not to cry - it’s easier to immediately fulfill the request. Or parents are afraid of a child’s hysterics in public places: they are uncomfortable attracting the attention of others, and therefore they are ready to fulfill any whims of the baby, make any compromise - as long as everything is calm.

Education methods

You can deal with hysterics in different ways:

Try to persuade the child to calm down. The method works if the baby just wanted to attract the attention of adults with his hysterics: he didn’t so much need some toys or treats as a kind word from his parents.
Not to pay attention! The method is effective, but in some cases unconstructive: if a child throws a tantrum in a public place, his long screams and sobs can begin to irritate those around him. At home, you can train your endurance as much as you like - the child will simply get tired of crying and, in the end, will definitely calm down.
You can also punish a child for hysterics: a slap on the head will not help, since it will only warm up his feelings, and it will become even easier for him to cry - finally there will be a concrete reason to cry. Punishment should be moral, not physical: you can put the child in a corner or send him to another room - when there are no spectators, the hysteria usually quickly subsides.
The child must clearly know that by crying he will not only achieve nothing, but will also certainly suffer: he will be deprived of goodies, a walk or any entertainment.

Deviation from the rules

When a child is scared

So, the main task of parents who are seriously thinking about how to deal with children’s tantrums and what to do to prevent them from arising at all is to prevent the child from feeling that tears can be used to achieve their will. And yet, there may be exceptions to any rules: if a child feels unwell, is scared, experiences separation from loved ones (for example, mother went on a business trip for several days), adapts to a new environment, a new team, then there is no need to be particularly strict in attitude towards him and, perhaps, make concessions to him in some way.

Warning Tantrums

By the age of 5, children should already have a rough idea of how to behave at home, in kindergarten, at a party, and on the street. Adults should explain to the child why it is ugly to talk loudly, scream, or cry. You should not hope that he will figure it out on his own: the basic rules of ethics should be explained by parents to children from early childhood. You are behaving ugly! - for a well-mannered child, such a remark is enough to calm him down.

If a child is already accustomed to throwing tantrums, do not think that you will be able to re-educate him the first time: for a long time he will test you - is it possible to return to the old way? After all, you so obediently fulfilled all his whims... Show firmness and patience: it will become easier for both you and the child himself! The baby’s nervous system will become stronger if he does not cry for or without reason.

Sources: www.allwomens.ru, little.com.ua, mamapapadetki.ru, glamius.ru

Roundworm worms in children video

Hernia in a 2 month old baby photo

How to behave and what to do if a child is hysterical?

It is quite natural to feel offended by a child who threw a tantrum right in a crowded place. But this is not yet a reason to take out your anger on the baby, who is already having a hard time. But how to react to hysteria? Experts advise:

The optimal behavior for a mother in a situation where the child does not listen and is hysterical is to wait in silence and endure the attack.
If you can’t cope with your emotions, it’s better to step aside, step away in order to calm down and not take it out on your baby when he’s already feeling bad.
Try to distance yourself from the hysteria. It is better to think about something else at this moment. There is no need to take tantrums too personally. The baby may start crying even more if he sees panic, anger or worry on his mother's face.
Do not try to stop the hysteria by shouting, arguing, or punishing. First, the child must calm down.
Patience and confidence in the correctness of your action. If the onset of hysteria is due to the fact that the mother did not buy something for the child, then she must go all the way in her decision. It is important to stop attempts to manipulate parents in early childhood.

Problems with a child at 3 years old: tips for parents on proper upbringing

Until recently, an obedient and affectionate baby suddenly becomes a little tyrant, turning the simplest task into overcoming an obstacle course: “either you can’t get ready for a walk, then you can’t bring it home,” “either I won’t have soup, then I don’t want porridge,” “it’s summer heat outside.” , and he only goes for a walk in rubber boots,” “he always loved swimming so much, but now you can’t get him into the bathtub.”

Every mother can give thousands of similar examples of such psychological problems of 3-year-old children: stubbornness, disobedience, self-will and the desire to act contrary to logic put parents at a dead end, causing confusion and sometimes powerlessness. And the little obstinate one seems to rejoice at the victories he has won and continues to violate parental prohibitions, declaring himself in a state of war with those around him.

How to respond to the whims of a 3-year-old child: spank him, put him in a corner, deprive him of sweets? The use of strict educational measures is the simplest and most unreliable way to overcome a crisis confrontation.

First of all, you must understand that dealing with an obstinate stubborn person is not only difficult for you. What suffers most is the baby himself, who suddenly gained independence, but does not know how to use it. He wants to do a lot himself, but at the same time demands from those around him that everything happens according to his wishes. The child’s desire for independent actions must be respected, but one should not indulge him in everything, suppressing the child’s rebellion by fulfilling all its conditions.

The most important advice to parents of 3-year-old children is to be patient, try to analyze the situation and understand what led to the conflict. If the reason for his irritation is clear to you, then the scandal can be nipped in the bud.

Hysterics at night

Crying at night is a frequent guest in families where a child lives from 1 to 5 years old. Experts believe that such hysterics do not require treatment. By about 7 years of age they disappear without a trace. But parents of babies should know that usually the child is hysterical at night from 1 to 3 times for 5-30 minutes.

There are several reasons for this behavior:

increased fatigue of the baby, confirmed by an appropriate diagnosis;
excessive emotionality and sensitivity of the child;
stress:
a large number of impressions received the day before.

If a child visited a circus, a zoo, and a planetarium in one weekend, then he is highly likely to have hysterics at night. This is explained by the fact that during this period his nervous system is in a state of strong excitement.

How to deal with nighttime tantrums:

Do not leave the child alone at this moment. It is important to approach him as soon as he cries.
Hug the baby and stay with him until the hysteria stops.
Gently pat the baby on the head, rock him in your arms, and let him calm down. After this, the baby should be returned to his bed.

There is no need to transform night hysterics into the category of pleasant pastimes. Otherwise, the baby will deliberately wake up in order to spend the rest of the night in the parent’s bed or simply chat with his mother. Well, in order to reduce nighttime tantrums to zero, you need to follow a daily routine, avoid watching TV the night before, and spend enough time with your child during the day.

How to stop quickly

A child is hysterical at 4 years old: what to do? In different situations you can react completely differently. But it is better to adhere to the following recommendations:

If the hysteria occurred in a public place, then it is necessary to show your indifference to such behavior of the baby.
In moments of anger and hysterics, children do not tend to realize what is happening to them. The mother needs to try to explain this condition and the reasons for its occurrence to the child as clearly as possible.
You should not categorically refuse a child anything when it is possible to explain in detail the reasons for this. Children over three years old tend to understand adults. Therefore, it is much easier to calm the baby.
You can predict the situation in advance. For example, you are going to the store, try to explain to your baby that you won’t be able to buy a toy today, since there is no such opportunity yet.

It is quite possible to cope with the whims of a child aged 4 years without serious consequences for his psyche. But before taking categorical measures, you should understand the reasons for the occurrence of this condition, and only then move on to searching for methods of struggle. Communication with the baby should be on a confidential level, and not by demonstrating the undeniable authority of the parent. But we must remember the rule in which the adult is more important. Of course, this is a rather fine line between leadership and trust, but nevertheless, it should be respected.

How to explain tantrums at 1 year old?

A one-year-old child already feels old enough to dictate his terms to his parents. He is overwhelmed with emotions, he wants to have everything at once, to reach unprecedented heights and get what was forbidden until recently. It’s just that the part of the brain that is responsible for self-control is not yet sufficiently developed at 1 year of age. Therefore, any mother’s prohibition on this or that action is perceived with tears in her eyes. This is the first reason why a child becomes hysterical every year.

There may be other reasons for this behavior:

a poor vocabulary that does not allow the child to express his desires and needs verbally;
an overabundance of information obtained as a result of visiting, traveling, etc.;
desire to separate from your mother;
the need for tactile sensations, which the baby does not receive enough from the person closest to him.

How to react to the fact that a year-old child is constantly hysterical:

Move away from the place of irritation. We are talking about a situation where a child became hysterical in a public place, supermarket, cafe, etc.
Do not react to the baby for a while, leaving him alone with himself.
If the child is still able to perceive information coming from the mother, you can try to switch his attention to something else, to distract him.

During a hysteria, you cannot physically punish the child, order him to shut up, or shame him for crying. The mother should try to understand the baby, help him cope with negative emotions and accept him for who he is.

Children's hysteria: whim or disease?

If your child’s whims and tantrums have become a constant occurrence in your home, you should think about whether you need the help of a specialist. You should definitely contact a neurologist if:

tantrums become more aggressive and occur more frequently;
during a hysteria, the baby holds his breath or loses consciousness;
the child is approaching senior preschool age (after four years), but the hysterics do not stop;
during a seizure, the baby breaks things and scratches his face;
in addition to hysterics, nightmares and fears appear;
the baby's mood often changes;
a hysterical attack ends with vomiting, shortness of breath, and sudden lethargy.

All these signs may indicate that the child has a disease called “neurosis.” Hysterical neurosis in children is a fairly common phenomenon, which can be experienced by an absolutely healthy child who does not have any mental problems.

If your baby shows signs of neurosis, treatment should not be delayed under any circumstances. In the early period of development of the disease, hysterical neurosis can be treated and prevented. But if you miss the moment, the disease will become chronic and negatively affect the development of the child’s personality.

To prevent the occurrence of neuroses in children it is necessary:

Monitor the quality and quantity of information that comes to the child (prevent the child from watching bloody thrillers and crime programs on TV).
In the presence of the baby, communicate with other people as calmly as possible.
Protect the baby from overwork, monitor compliance with diet, walks and sleep.
And most importantly: the child should feel comfortable and cozy at home. It is the relationships in the family that are designed to become a tool that will help the child overcome all sorts of difficulties that arise along his way.

Reasons for bad behavior at 2-3 years old

A two-year-old baby has already quite well learned the meaning of the words “no,” “I don’t want,” and “I won’t.” At this age, he begins to express his protest in everything, to deny any actions. With his behavior, the baby sometimes confuses his parents: just yesterday he was such an obedient child, but today he refuses everything his mother offers him. When a 2-year-old child is hysterical, you should not follow his lead and satisfy his whims. But physical punishment in this situation is also inappropriate. The baby needs to be given time to calm down without coaxing, threatening or screaming. But you shouldn’t leave him alone in the room. At this age, the child is very strongly attached to his mother and her care can further traumatize his weak nervous system. The best option is not to interfere with the hysteria, but to be in the baby’s field of vision.

The situation when a two-year-old child is hysterical before bed is also not uncommon. At this age, some children already refuse daytime sleep, but their nervous system cannot withstand such a load. It is important to remember to maintain a daily routine and ensure proper rest during the day.

The age of three is considered a crisis in many ways. The child learns to defend his opinion in front of adults. During this period, he is extremely stubborn and categorical. If his mother asks him to take off his outerwear, he does the opposite. With further persistence, the child begins to become hysterical. The methods described above in the article will help you deal with it.

Age characteristics of children's tantrums

With age, a child changes both externally and internally. At the same time, the nature and priority of the causes of children's tantrums changes.

One and a half to two years

The psyche of a one and a half year old child has not yet settled down, and therefore hysteria often occurs against the background of fatigue or nervous overstrain. Closer to two years, the baby, as a rule, comprehends the meaning of the words “impossible” and “no”. At this age, the child begins a global psycho-emotional restructuring, he gains new experiences, and experiences conflicts more acutely.

It is at one and a half to two years (“the first age of stubbornness”) that an easy-going and calm baby can turn into an obstinate and capricious brawler who stubbornly refuses to fulfill any demands and is distinguished by actions that are unacceptable to others. Often, the unbridled behavior of a two-year-old baby confuses parents: he scratches, screams and throws himself at the wall.

Moms and dads are not always ready to deal with the hysterical attacks of a child. It seems that it is easier to give in and do what a two-year-old child wants. But once you give in, be prepared for the fact that the baby will continue to achieve his goal with the help of hysterics.

Three years

The age of three is different for a child in that he wants to feel like an adult and independent, he begins to realize that he is an individual. At this time, self-will, extreme stubbornness, and negativism appear. Often such changes take parents by surprise.

You need to behave specially with a three-year-old child: do not focus on his behavior, do not try to break him. Forcibly changing character will not lead to anything good, but permissiveness should not be allowed either. The child should not come to the conclusion that with the help of hysteria he will achieve everything he wants. The optimal solution in this case is to switch attention.

If at three years old your baby tends to throw tantrums often, try to avoid situations where he can answer “no.” Parents should avoid direct instructions, for example: “We are going to the park, get dressed!”

It is necessary to create the illusion of choice for the stubborn little one: “Shall we walk in the park or stay in the yard?”, “Do you want to play in the sandbox or ride the slide?”

As a rule, by the age of four, excessive whims and children's tantrums subside on their own, as the child learns to express his feelings and emotions in words.

Four years and older

Children of primary preschool age are very observant: at the age of four they quickly realize that their mother’s ban can be lifted by their father or grandmother. To avoid a violent reaction to your “no,” you need to clearly define for your child a list of prohibited and permitted actions. This order should be strictly adhered to: if the mother has forbidden something, then none of the household members should interfere and change the established rule.

Try to cope with your child’s inappropriate attacks while still in preschool age. After all, at school he will have a lot of new discoveries and impressions, and by this time it is better to be free from hysterical attacks.

Doctor Komarovsky about hysterics

A well-known pediatrician, whose opinion many modern mothers listen to, is quite calm about children's tantrums. He believes that for them the child needs an audience. He will never become hysterical in front of a washing machine or TV. For the “performance,” the child chooses the most sensitive member of his family. If mom calmly reacts to hysterics, crying in front of her will not be interesting. A grandmother who will try in every possible way to please her beloved grandson is more suitable for this role. So it turns out that the child is hysterical, and the adult fulfills his wishes.

Unlike most child psychologists, who believe that when a baby cries, he does not control his behavior, Dr. Komarovsky believes that he is fully aware of the entire situation. The pediatrician recommends that parents not react to what is happening around them, no matter how loudly the child stomps his feet. But at the same time, it is extremely important that all family members adhere to this tactic of behavior.

To avoid a situation where a child becomes hysterical before bedtime, the doctor recommends walking with your baby more in the fresh air and providing age-appropriate physical activity that will help him get tired during the day and, accordingly, fall asleep faster.

How does punishment and yelling work?

Adults believe that they know best what is good for their son or daughter. However, this technique suppresses the baby’s independence and leads to disastrous results.

Punishment is a restriction on a child’s activities. Parents think that in this way they will convey their request. In fact, children simply begin to lie, dodge, not respond to screams and avoid reprisals in every possible way.

Reasons for parental screaming and child's emotions

But no matter what psychologists say, few parents ever raise their voices. However, it is often adults who are to blame for bad behavior and whims.

For example, a five-year-old boy was waiting for his dad to come home from work in the morning because he promised to play ball with him. But then my father returned home, had dinner and sat down to read the newspaper.

The son is upset, not understanding why he was deceived. He begins to be capricious and throw a tantrum. And instead of a fun game of ball, the evening ends in whining and disappointment. The father is annoyed by the shouting, but in fact it is his own fault.

Or another example. Mom cooks all day - guests are supposed to come in the evening. And the little daughter walks nearby and asks me to read to her. The woman would like to explain to the girl that she has no time, but the little girl still won’t understand. Therefore, irritated, the mother begins to scream, and the daughter throws a tantrum.

Every parent has encountered similar situations at least once. In these cases, adults are to blame, but children suffer. However, it is necessary to understand that all screams have consequences.

· A raised tone misleads the child. Children perceive not words, but intonation.

· Screaming becomes a habit in education. The child adopts the behavior model of family members. Therefore, you should not be surprised when your child starts screaming for any reason.

· The first emotion of a child is fear. And the more he is afraid of the parent and his threats, the sooner he will develop depression or anxiety .

· When the pupil does not even understand the scream, adults begin to scream even louder, become hysterical and use threats. And this is fraught with an even greater deterioration in family relationships. Such parenting behavior undermines the authority of parents in the eyes of their daughter or son.

Why doesn't the child hear a calm tone?

Remember one important rule in parenting: you should talk to your baby in a calm intonation. This is the only way to create a trusting and friendly environment.

But sometimes children simply do not understand calm speech. And that’s when parents make the main mistake - they start screaming and threatening. However, this can be avoided if you follow a few rules.

· Learn to make eye contact. If during a conversation the baby looks around, he will not understand what they want from him.

· Do not use the particle “not” in your requests. Children do not accept denial; they understand an affirmative request. Instead of “don’t run,” it’s better to say “walk calmly.”

· The child cannot concentrate. That is why in the process of education it is not effective to present several requests to the child at once. There should be one task at a time. Sometimes the real reason for such behavior is not bad character or stubbornness, but a physiological characteristic or disease. Before using punishment, make sure that the student does not have a diagnosis such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

· In the process of education, it is very important to speak as equals, and not constantly threaten and point. No one will like such an approach, and it is unlikely to be successful.

Important advice for parents

Dr. Komarovsky gives the following advice to moms and dads:

Teach your child to express their emotions in words. Like any other person, the baby is no stranger to feelings such as anger, anger, and irritation. But you don’t have to cry to get something. Most often, asking nicely is enough.
Dr. Komarovsky believes that if a child is hysterical, he needs to be looked after as little as possible and sent to kindergarten as quickly as possible. There will be no spectators in the form of mom and dad, which will benefit the baby.
Hysterics can be predicted and prevented. You just need to carefully watch the baby and find out when they appear. It is important to try to avoid such conflict situations.
Sometimes babies hold their breath while crying loudly. To make a child take a breath, you need to blow in his face. So says Dr. Komarovsky.
In a situation where children are hysterical, you need to go to the end. If a child learns to manipulate his parents, coping with him in adolescence will be much more difficult. The child will grow up to be a hysterical and selfish person.

Psychologists' opinion: tantrums are good

A “performance” with tears in the middle of the street is shameful and unpleasant. At least, this is what most mothers in our country think. In addition, when a child is constantly hysterical, not only his nervous system suffers from this, but also the psyche of family members. However, recent research by scientists proves the opposite. It turns out that tantrums do not need to be avoided at all, since they are an important part of a child's emotional health. And that's why:

When crying, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol. As a result, if at the moment of hysteria there is a mother who is ready to provide support next to the baby, his emotional state improves. This is why a hug from the mother is so important for a child after a tantrum.
The baby will sleep better. If you don’t throw out your emotions during the day, your sleep will be weak and superficial. When a child holds back emotions, they continue to rage inside.
Hysteria in response to the word “no” said by the mother allows the child to understand the boundaries of what is permitted. And there's really nothing wrong with that.
Tantrums bring children closer to their parents, but only if they adhere to the rules of behavior during an attack.
As the child gets older, he will cry much less than his peers. With age, he will learn to regulate his emotions, his mental state will become stable, and his nervous system will become stronger.

It is important not to forget that you need to talk through every situation with your child, learn to find compromises and help each other.

How to behave during a child's tantrum

Often the impetus for the beginning of a child’s angry attack is a whim: “Give it, I want it, buy it, leave, I won’t…”. If it was not possible to prevent an attack, follow the basic principles of responding to children's tantrums:

at the moment of a seizure, do not try to calm the baby down, persuade him, scold him - this will serve as an incentive to continue (and maybe intensify) the hysteria;
do not leave the baby alone, be nearby, in his field of vision;
if a little stubborn person throws a tantrum in order to get something, do not give in;
In no case should you resort to physical punishment - this will aggravate the baby’s condition;
use tactile contact - hug the baby tightly and, holding him in your arms, gently repeat how much you love him.

Children's tantrums in public places deserve special attention. In this case, parents need to cope not only with a raging child, but also with the judgmental views of others. Try not to pay attention to strangers, do not involve them in the ongoing process. Let the child, who wants to get a new toy, get excited and stomp his feet. After some time, he himself will get tired of behaving this way, and the hysteria will fade away.

After the passions have subsided, you should not refuse your baby affection: calm him down, take him in your arms. Talk about what upset him so much. Explain that you love your child and you like to communicate with him when he is peaceful and calm.

A child is hysterical: causes, description of behavior and methods of solving the problem