How to survive a breakup with a loved one: advice from a psychologist to forget a man and move on with your life

How to survive a breakup with a loved one? This question haunts men and women who feel the bitterness of ending a relationship. It is very difficult to endure separation if previously there were warm and trusting relationships between people. There is no universal way to cope with a breakup, but almost every person has their own recipe for healing mental pain, based on personal experience.

When a relationship is falling apart right before your eyes and a breakup is inevitable, it is difficult to give any advice. Each case is strictly individual, and it is impossible to apply the same template in different situations. Advice from psychologists helps not to fall into depression and get out of the current situation with minimal losses. So how do you get over the pain of a breakup?

How to survive a breakup: childhood experience of loss

According to Freud and other proponents of the psychoanalytic concept, the situation of a break with a loved one always sends our unconscious back to the first experience of abandonment - separation from our mother in early childhood. The circumstances could be very different: your mother went to work early, or you were in the hospital and were not allowed in, or perhaps your parents were too strict. The result is the same - when experiencing a break in personal relationships, a girl who experienced a lack of love in childhood will think: “I’m probably not worthy of love.”

“When Denis told me that he was leaving, I was shocked, of course,” says Inna (25). “But at the same time, she seemed to understand and justify him. After all, he is so successful, smart, handsome, and me? She graduated from a dubious institute and is far from beautiful. Of course, I’m not a match for him.” Psychologist of the Moscow Psychological Assistance Service Vladimir Dmitriev is sure that a small child who experienced a lack of parental love in childhood (and he always explained the inattention by the fact that he was not worthy of it), having matured, is trying to earn it.

He believes that he must become better in order to be loved. “When I began to analyze our relationship, I realized that I was constantly trying to match Denis, dreaming of being liked by him. I never fully understood why he chose me, so I tried to earn his love,” Inna’s words confirm the theory.

According to Vladimir Dmitriev, in the experience of a breakup, the “childhood story” that a person carries within himself is very clearly manifested: “By exploring it with the client, we return to the past and find a child living with a feeling of lack of love.”

How to get over a breakup with a guy: someone else's experience

You can often hear from a person experiencing a separation from a loved one that he feels this event as death (his own, his partner’s, or his relationship’s). These feelings have a psychological explanation - indeed, experiencing a breakup often goes through the same stages as experiencing loss. Experts usually distinguish five stages: shock and numbness, denial and withdrawal, recognition and pain, acceptance and rebirth, and finally, life after the end of grief. “As a rule, people who are at the third stage of experience turn to a psychologist,” says Vladimir Dmitriev. “They feel intense pain and grief, which turns into anger. They are angry at themselves, at the departed partner, at the injustice of the world. At the fourth stage, mental pain decreases. And parting takes on meaning, meaning in life, its place in “personal history.” Then the experiencer begins to organize life in a new way, then new events happen and new people appear.” While we are experiencing severe pain, it is impossible to analyze the situation. But when the pain goes away, it is important to remember that any event, even a very difficult one, can enrich our lives if we look at the incident from the right angle.

“Two years ago, my husband came home from work and said that he had fallen in love and couldn’t help himself,” says Valeria (29). - When I found out that his new passion was born in 1990, I experienced a powerful explosion of the most terrible feelings - anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, pity for myself and for our child. For a year I remembered my ex-husband only with curses, but now I am grateful to him - for a wonderful son and for a meeting with an amazing man, which would not have taken place if my husband had not left me.” Vladimir Dmitriev explains that while rethinking what happened, we create personal history with our own hands. The same event, such as a breakup, can be perceived differently by different people: as part of a success story (“thank you for three years of happiness, for the child, for the opportunity to meet love”) or as part of a victim story (“I’m always abandoned,” "all men are the same")

How long does it take to get over a breakup?

Typically, it takes about a year to recover from a breakup. During this time, you need to live alone all the dates that are significant for the couple (the anniversary of the first meeting, a declaration of love). Vladimir Dmitriev believes that some aggravating circumstances of separation can increase the period of grief. If the familiar world collapses (for example, the spouses have been together for a very long time or a woman has learned about a man’s double life), then the experience stretches over time. But if both partners understand that the relationship has exhausted itself, talk openly about their feelings, thank each other and part ways peacefully, then the experience is relatively painless. This does not mean that an amicable, wise parting does not leave a mark on a person’s soul. Nor does this mean that people who are capable of breaking up peacefully are robots without a heart. It’s just that the man and woman in this case will experience light sadness, and not exhausting pain that deprives them of strength and desire to live on.

“Most men, out of false gentlemanliness, do not want to initiate a breakup,” says Masha (26). “Instead of breaking up with their unloved girlfriend, they do everything to make the relationship unbearable for the girl.

It happened to me too - Dima stopped paying attention to me, he came late, and I plucked up courage and voiced his desire: “Let’s break up.” There were no scandals, we just sat down and discussed everything. It was important to talk about us with him, and not to talk about personal problems with friends. Some words turned out to be terribly offensive and painful to hear, but very useful (I realized this later). “I think I got over the breakup much faster than many of my friends.”

"I'm ugly" and other feelings

Most girls (70%) blame themselves for what happened after a breakup. They ask the void again and again: what did I do wrong? for what? what do I need to fix? Should I have behaved/dressed/had sex differently? After a breakup, a lot of energy is spent on analyzing one’s own behavior and giving oneself unsatisfactory grades.

“Now it’s even embarrassing to remember what I thought about myself after my husband left me,” says Polina (28). — When the self-flagellation went off scale (I got to the point where I considered one of the reasons for his leaving to be the lack of smoothness of my legs), it was as if a brake light had gone off inside. Then I was able to stop and remember that men also left absolutely ideal women, actresses and fashion models. It’s funny, but this thought made me feel better.”

Guilt always accompanies the experience of loss, be it the death or passing of a loved one. You need to remember that this is normal, and at the same time try to find at least anger or anger in your soul. After all, if you can already feel them, then the outcome is quite close. In the process of experiencing, you are faced with the fact that a variety of emotions live inside you, most of them are unsightly, but they are necessary in order to learn a lesson from what is happening, and therefore insure yourself against encountering the same rake.

Advice from psychologists: how to survive a breakup

What words do we hear from friends and loved ones who are trying to support us? Of course, “don’t worry,” “forget.” By the way, this is the most wrong thing you can do. Psychologists recommend worrying.

“Whether the experience of a breakup becomes a shackle that prevents us from moving forward, or a treasure, largely depends on how we survive it,” says Vladimir Dmitriev. — Sometimes the pain due to loss of trust (for example, in the case of betrayal) or broken hopes is so strong that you want to forget everything, just erase what happened from your memory. But more often than not, we fail to get over a breakup precisely because we try to forget it.” Friends with the best intentions advise returning gifts, changing your hairstyle, or starting a new romance as soon as possible. And some of us listen to others, others - to ourselves. The latter are doing the right thing.

“At first I wanted to throw away everything that reminded me of Oleg and even dyed my hair blonde,” says Irena (22). — I was not myself with bleached hair for exactly one day and returned to its natural color. It’s good that I didn’t delete the photos from the computer. This is part of my life! A few months later I was able to remember our joint travels with a smile, and not with tears in my eyes.” Vladimir Dmitriev explains that “surviving” and “forgetting” are fundamentally different strategies. Forgetting interferes with experience. It's like trying to treat a disease with painkillers. Anesthesia can only be useful at the very beginning. Then it deprives you not so much of pain as of the opportunity to overcome the illness.

“I hate myself crying and have never allowed myself to cry, even in front of my friends. Probably, dad, who raised me strictly as a boy, did his job,” says Varya (23). “When the young man with whom we lived together for four years left me, I didn’t shed a single tear.” I felt terribly bad, but I thought that crying was humiliating. At the fourth meeting with the psychologist, I finally cried and sobbed for half an hour. And then things got moving.”

The process of experiencing is also hampered by illusions. We deceive ourselves, saying: “Yes, he is not needed, I’m not offended at all, I’ll go to a corporate event with someone else, let him see...” Fantasies pass, are replaced by one another, but real emotions exist, even if you want to forget about them. Don't stop yourself from experiencing them. The fact is that locked feelings will still come out - in the form of depression or health problems. “Emotions are a huge force,” says Vladimir Dmitriev. “If we break contact with them, this force becomes uncontrollable and we have to “tame” it with the help of a psychologist.” 7 Unhealthy Ways to Get Over a Breakup.

Psychotherapists like to ask clients: what will happen if the table leg breaks? Correct answer: if there is only one leg, it will cease to be a table. If there are many legs, it will remain the same. Therefore, the more important and beloved things and people in life, the higher the stability in any crisis situation, including during the experience of a breakup.

According to the Moscow Psychological Assistance Service:

People rarely make an appointment with a psychologist directly about a breakup (300 cases out of 20,000 calls), but often in the first minutes of an appointment, clients who have applied for depression or chronic fatigue begin to talk about the experience of separation.

A few years ago, almost only women addressed the difficulties of experiencing separation; in recent years, men have increasingly turned to professional help.

Alena Legostaeva Fotobank (1)

Source: www.cosmo.ru

When and why do men return?

Men returning to their former lover occurs for several reasons.

Old memories

The psychology of men during separation is such that at first the man feels a dizzying freedom. He starts going to parties again, drinking beer, surrounding himself with friends. But soon a painful melancholy comes. Random short-lived meetings with women bring little relief and seem meaningless. It turns out that the beloved always remained conscious.

Gradually, pleasant moments from the past become intrusive and deprive you of peace. The gentleman begins to think: it’s hard for the girl he loves without a strong man’s shoulder. The ex is jealous of potential new gentlemen and feels remorse for his own mistakes. After three weeks, the gentleman is overcome by real nostalgia, a great desire to renew the relationship. And he returns.

Longing for a lost relationship is often an explanation for why an ex-wife reminds her of herself. According to the psychologist, it is more difficult for women to forget past love.

Remember! Men perceive information with their eyes. Therefore, social networks (especially Instagram with a bunch of photos) greatly enhance old memories. As soon as a man looks at the page, pictures of a girl, strong memories suddenly awaken, a great desire appears to start dating again, living together, making plans. That's why the ex-boyfriend begins to remind himself. The psychology of men is designed this way.

Unsuccessful attempts to find a woman similar to an ex-lover

After a long period of stability, it is psychologically extremely difficult for a man to find a partner. He actually formed a certain stereotype about the ideal lover. Finding a woman who meets the right requirements becomes very difficult. In the new lady, the gentleman subconsciously tries to see his former beloved, and constantly stumbles upon inconsistencies.

In general, looking for a new partner after many years of relationship is difficult. Representatives of the stronger sex quickly get used to the comfortable position when the woman is “already here, conquered.” That is why the former lover first reminds of himself, then returns to his beloved. The psychology of men gives rise to rather predictable actions.

The guy often constantly visits and corresponds. Going through all the stages of a relationship again, getting used to a girl and new requirements is not an easy task. Men quickly get used to good things; the stronger half of humanity is attracted by the lost “comfort zone”, the former lover. By the way, this also explains why the ex-wife reminds of herself. The psychology of both sexes is very similar regarding relationships after a breakup.

Jealousy

Even changing the status from “single” to “dating” causes terrible jealousy. Your loved one will get incredibly angry when he realizes that his ex has started dating someone else. Men's pride will be greatly wounded. The representative of the stronger sex will have a great desire to “defeat” his opponent and return his beloved. Jealousy is an important factor that explains why the ex-husband reminds of himself. Psychology records a lot of similar facts.

Breaking up is a mistake

The gentleman begins to realize how beloved the road is, how much he has lost. The man suddenly realizes: he was constantly fixated on negative things and stopped noticing the positive qualities of his beloved.

At what age is it hardest to get over a breakup?

In adolescence, breaking up with an emotionally close person can lead to serious problems:

sleep disturbance;
anorexia;
loss of attention, lack of interest in studying;
irritability, depression, apathy;
somatic symptoms;
suicidal thoughts.

In middle age, when a person is full of strength and health, he is surrounded by friends and relatives, and there are a lot of various plans for the future, an unexpected separation can also unsettle him and lead to prolonged depression.

But separation is especially difficult for older people - children have already flown out of the nest, and the dream that at the end of life there will be a close, faithful friend nearby suddenly collapsed. How can you not fall into despair?

Absolutely everyone experiences painful breakups. Most often, this is not a disaster, but the beginning of a new stage in life, because it is not for nothing that they say: “When one door closes, another one necessarily opens.” However, to understand, realize and accept this, it takes years, and in severe cases, qualified help from a psychologist.

If you understand that a lot of time has passed since separation, but you are experiencing increasingly acute mental pain, contact a psychological specialist. Our specialists have extensive practical experience working with people who are having a hard time with separation. We will help you go through all the stages of separation in the least painful way, turn the page of the past with gratitude and joyfully accept your new, happy future.

Source: www.psy-77.ru

How do women cope with separation?

Girls in love hope to live a long and happy life with their partner. They paint beautiful pictures of the future in their imagination, so they perceive the news of separation extremely painfully. When breaking up, all stages in a woman occur in a more pronounced form: emotions are brighter, attempts at reconciliation are more active, depression is deeper, periods last longer. Some girls become so withdrawn into themselves that the state of apathy does not leave them for several years.

To make the recovery period faster and easier, psychologists recommend that a woman create a different image for herself. The new personality must be successful, independent and strong. Gradually, the girl will begin to feel more confident, her self-esteem will increase, and her emotional wounds will heal.

Stage 1: Give yourself free rein

This doesn’t mean crying in public, it’s just that you need to keep your face in public. But at home, especially if there is no one there except you, you need to allow yourself to do the opposite. Break plates, scream loudly in the bathroom, swear with the worst words you want to use.

Anything that will help you get rid of pain and throw out aggression, but is also safe for you and your neighbors, is suitable. Also, don’t discount your favorite folk method – talking in the kitchen. If you do at least one of the above, everything is fine with you and the process is taking its course, but if you sit alone with a blank look, then this is rather an alarming symptom.

Unfortunately, such a stupor immediately after a breakup means that you have suppressed and blocked your painful emotions. And, therefore, they risk finding shelter in your internal organs, and instead of external experiences, you will “experience” somatically, that is, diseases.

It can, of course, lie in a hospital bed - it is more noble and aesthetically pleasing, but in the end it is much more dangerous for health. Which you may still need in the future.

Advice from a psychologist ↑

How to behave in order to quickly return to normal life?

There is no need to hide emotions , it is better to feel all the pain, resentment and melancholy. Tears are a good healer of mental wounds; they cleanse.
Learn to distract yourself . This is where work can help.
Experiment . Swap your brown curls for golden ones. Men have a different style - change the decor in your apartment.
Create . Explore new and unknown things. Learn to play the guitar, new languages and specialties.
Help other people . Send old children's things to an orphanage, bring groceries to a neighbor, go with your mother to her favorite performance.
Go on a trip . A change of environment is very beneficial; we are distracted from everything that happened at home.

And after all these manipulations, just forgive and let go. This will not happen right away, but one day you will still feel that the person who brought you joy and suffering is no longer yours. And you won’t feel any negativity towards him.

Stage 2. Use the energy of changes

At the second stage of experiencing separation from a loved one, a state occurs that most closely resembles a swing. The acute pain of the first stage suddenly gives way to euphoria and vice versa. For example, from the very scary “how am I now without him/her, all my hopes have collapsed” you will suddenly be thrown into a state of “my God, what am I? But now I can choose the best/best in the world!”

Everyone has their own list - choose the best, finally chat to your heart's content with your girlfriends or go fishing with friends, don't give a damn about cleaning or cooking, do something that was problematic during your journey together, indulge in some hobby.

Sometimes at this stage, “getting completely drunk” and “sleeping with just anyone” arises. I won’t say that I am for it, but it is at this stage that it is almost useless to try to discipline yourself in any way. Your main task is to benefit from this stage. How?

Eva, 34 years old, having parted with a married man who had been on the brink of divorce for five years, but remained on this brink, having decided to return to the family finally, during that period she felt the desire to finally spend time on friends... who were no longer there, thanks to the presence of the married man friend.

In those very moments of euphoria and enlightenment, she grabbed a notebook, and, obsessed with the desire to “finally be friends,” she called, chatted, and made appointments. And even if by the time of the appointed meeting she had already fallen back into the loop of melancholy, nevertheless, she was already obliged by the fact that they were waiting for her. And she walked. This renewed communication kept her afloat for the next few months. Without knowing it, Eve created “hooks” for herself in the world, which, with one degree or another, helped her survive the “kickbacks” into melancholy. And time passed and healed.

Separately, I would like to recall the common folk method of “wedge with wedge.” It is at the second stage that this need arises. Evaluating its effectiveness is a thankless task, because the outcome of the situation always depends on the degree of awareness of each partner, on the ability to forgive their grievances, on how quickly the wounds of the one who went to seek consolation in a new union will heal.

There is an opinion that nothing good comes from such unions, and it is better to leave them at the “spend time and forget” stage, not to develop them. However, more than once I have come across stories in which serious partnerships arose from precisely such alliances.

Think about the expression itself: “wedge by wedge.” That is, in a previous relationship, someone was “stuck,” the degree of concentration on the partner, the intensity of passions was, perhaps, pathological, preventing the relationship from developing. In a new union that “knocks out” the old one, the partner is selected according to the compensatory principle. If the previous partner was, say, too emotional, then the opposite is chosen - a more reasonable and calm partner. If the partner had, say, a wealth of past experience, he is chosen with minimal experience, etc. Of course, a person will not be able to escape his basic guidelines, and will probably make all the same demands on his ideas about relationships, intellectual level, and even appearance. But a lot of everything will be revised in the new union. And it’s not a fact that it’s for the worse. Sometimes it turns out that by choosing a partner precisely on the compensatory principle, a person automatically insures himself against a repetition of the previous relationship scenario.

And if this is still realized and worked out within oneself, then such “work on mistakes” can sometimes turn out to be even more effective than sitting alone. When experiencing a breakup with your partner and choosing the “wedge by wedge” scenario, you should always be aware of only one thing: your potential partner is not to blame for the fact that you were abandoned and abandoned, and therefore he cannot become guilty, and therefore punished for your own own mistakes in previous relationships.

And, if the thirst for revenge is too strong, then it’s better for you to really sit alone and, if necessary, talk to a specialist about ways to overcome the thirst for revenge. And remember that if you decide on a new relationship relatively quickly, the next two stages your partner will already be next to you, which means that you will have to think not only about yourself.

Stages of separation in men

It is believed that guys do not have the right to shed even a stingy male tear when breaking up a relationship. It's so unfair because they have feelings too. The pain of loss is more intense at first, then its grip begins to weaken. The stages after a breakup are almost always the same for men. Let us characterize each of them:

Negation. At this stage, the gentleman cannot come to terms with the fact that the lady of his heart is no longer around. Due to severe stress, the brain refuses to take the situation for granted. Parting is perceived as an illusion: it seems that everything is about to return to normal, and the girl will calm down and return. Some particularly sensitive men continue to call her, as if nothing had happened, and offer to meet. Husbands refuse to move out of their shared apartment or do not let their wives go in the hope that everything will change. In general, men immediately after a breakup usually don’t believe what happened and expect that threats of separation were just part of a major quarrel, and that the other half will cool down and come running back.
Negative emotions. After a while, the man finally realizes that the final disagreement has occurred. It is completely normal at this time to feel hatred towards your ex, to be offended, to complain, to be angry. Often representatives of the stronger sex, coupled with negative emotions, feel useless to anyone, their self-esteem decreases, and melancholy sets in. At this stage of breaking up a relationship, you need to give free rein to your emotions, because accumulated negativity can cause depression, as well as such troubles as migraines and dizziness.
Apathy. Severe stress causes a colossal release of energy. As a result, the man experiences a decrease in the overall tone of the body, indifference to everything, and a lack of desire to see loved ones and discuss the problem with anyone. It is possible that this stage of breakup in men exists as a respite after violent quarrels, negative emotions and a series of other problems associated with separation. However, it is better not to delay this period, otherwise there is a risk of remaining in it.
Accepting the problem. When a man honestly tells himself that the relationship is over and admits his mistakes, then the next stage will begin - accepting the problem. Already now he is beginning to think with his head and gain control over his emotions. This stage smoothly flows into the next, when thoughts and words turn into actions.
Trying to get the relationship back. A man may not experience the 5th stage of a relationship breakup if the romance turned out to be truly dysfunctional. However, most often the thought of how nice it would be to have everything back appears in many people’s minds after some time. During this period, the man makes attempts at reconciliation and tries to make amends. If the negotiations are successful, the couple is reunited. Otherwise, the suffering of the stronger sex undergoes metamorphosis, and his ordeal moves to a new level.
Way out of the crisis. Sooner or later, a man accepts the fait accompli and no longer suffers because he broke up with this woman. The future no longer seems so bleak; old hobbies become interesting again. Right now, a representative of the stronger sex can get back to work and study without constant depressing thoughts in the background. Sometimes at this stage men even remember past relationships with a smile. All hatred evaporates somewhere, and only gratitude remains for the lesson taught.
Readiness for new relationships. At the last stage of separation, men become interested in potential life partners. Now all women do not seem to them to be traitors, they understand that they cannot measure everyone with the same brush. Memories of failed past relationships no longer ruin your mood. A man begins to take care of himself, enjoys sports, visits fashion stores, and tries to earn more money so that his courtship of the girl he likes will be crowned with success.

Some men go through all seven stages of a relationship breakup in just a couple of months, while others spend their entire lives hesitating to start an affair again. The path of all people is very different, but everyone deserves personal happiness. You shouldn’t give up on yourself after breaking up with the woman you love. We have collected for you the most relevant tips that will help you get through the breakup as easily as possible.

Stage 3. Fatigue

Very often, at this stage of experiencing a breakup, a person begins to be haunted by thoughts and emotions that seem in no way related to the breakup that occurred. For example, chronic panic about the iron allegedly not being turned off.

Or work done wrong, fear of criticism from management. Sometimes it happens that “everything falls out of hand” and even clothes don’t fit right. This is when the nerves, severely frayed in the first two stages, begin to “give up.” As a rule, somatic diseases are also involved - you will start to get sick and dizzy, your blood pressure will jump, or even some long-forgotten chronic problems will surface.

In general, it is at this stage that it is advisable to consult a specialist psychologist, and if the matter has gone very far, then to a doctor. In any case, this is the period when you should take your condition seriously. At least feed your body with vitamins, organize classes at a sports club, and watch what you eat and drink. It is during this period that you should adopt any spiritual practice that is acceptable to you - weekly attendance at church services and evening prayer, meditation, group yoga classes, and other energy practices.

The physical and mental should at this moment be directed towards one goal - peace of mind, which would previously have been pointless to achieve. This is exactly the stage when, having “gotten off”, you must begin to accustom yourself to discipline - it is this that will allow you to overcome the next, most insidious stage:

Stage 4: Depression

In this case, I use the word “depression” not in the sense of a clinical diagnosis, but in the sense of poorly controlled depression of varying degrees of severity. And at this stage, one thing is important: not to break. Don't lose everything you've (hopefully) successfully gone through in the previous stages. If you were able to go through them correctly, then you now have some kind of circle of friends that you gained in the first stages, you have a rhythm of life and discipline, and perhaps you were even able to begin, as a first approximation, to establish personal relationships, and also accustomed take care of yourself and have long since splashed out the most acute emotions.

What's next? And then you need to learn to extract pleasure from little things. This stage of experiencing separation from a loved one is characterized by a loss of meaning. “Well, I’m taking care of my health, but why? Well, I communicate with friends - so what? Nothing. Accustom yourself to the idea that for some time this will be “nothing” and this is not a reason to change anything in the established order.

Galina, 42 years old. When her beloved left her, after some time her old dream woke up - to learn to dance flamenco. And she went to the club. At times I didn’t want to walk, and at times my soul simply sang with joy.

But a moment came when everything began to seem meaningless, and attempts to get out of the situation too. At the sessions, she said that on her part it was just window dressing, that she would not prove anything to anyone, that she could not get pleasure from anything.

However, we have developed a rule: “for some time, do not demand any joy or pleasure from yourself, just do it.” It turned out that the most difficult thing for Galina to come to terms with was the idea that she was “not the same as before,” but as soon as we managed to lower her demands on herself - “to be persistent, to be cheerful, to be optimistic,” it turned out that living without meaning and just doing it is not so scary.

And then it turned out that it even becomes pleasant, because you can enjoy meaningless sewing outfits, music, high-heeled shoes, meaningless walks around the city, meaningless making household trinkets... And not run anywhere, and not strive anywhere.

This stage of experiencing separation, with the right approach, becomes obsolete, because at this stage it becomes even too lazy to scroll through endless accusatory speeches in your head against the offender and make plans for revenge.

What to pay attention to when a man shows up after a breakup?

The following things will help you make sure: your beloved or husband returned because he loves you. Selfishness, the desire to improve shaky self-esteem, to feel more psychologically comfortable have nothing to do with it.

The returning man is actively making plans.

He talks about a future together, hints: he’s ready to start a family. This is a serious sign: the gentleman has firmly decided to throw in his lot with you.

The gentleman has changed.

A man truly loves if he has rethought the reasons for the breakup, admitted his own mistakes, and sincerely strives to improve.

If a couple does not want to renew their relationship, but the separation has somehow affected their mental state - fears, panic attacks, bouts of depression or terrible self-doubt have appeared - we recommend contacting a psychologist - hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.

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