What to talk about with strangers, colleagues, friends or the opposite sex? How to learn to talk about something when there is nothing to talk about? This skill is called the art of small talk. What to do if the conversation doesn't go well?
Often we find ourselves in a situation where it is not always possible to have an exciting conversation, and the conversation fades away and does not go well at all. Saving conversations about the weather or something similar only cause green melancholy. What to talk about and how to behave correctly? How to interest your interlocutor and make the conversation entertaining and rich?
The conversation isn't going well? How to choose a topic for conversation?
What to do when the conversation doesn't work out and everything results in awkward silence? You shouldn’t be scared, much less remain silent, creating a situation where it will be even more difficult to break the silence. Why is the conversation not going well?
The reason is the lack of common ground and common topics for conversation. You need to give your interlocutor the opportunity to talk about what interests him and what worries him. Start a conversation on topics that the other person may be interested in. If he picks up the topic, then develop the conversation further.
Do not press your interlocutor with questions as if this is an interrogation. Talk about something interesting yourself so that your interlocutor has the opportunity to carry on the conversation. People are not always interested in talking about their work if they are tired of it or don’t like it. It's better to start with general topics of conversation. What to talk about or write about on the Internet when there is awkward silence?
How to spell
Without further ado, let's say right away that in the Russian language there is a rule according to which prepositions with all parts of speech are written separately. In the words in question, “s” is a preposition. Consequently, we cannot accept such a lexical unit as “neskem” as correct.
We have two correct options: “with no one” and “with no one.”
Both phrases are widely used in Russian speech, but differ in some respects.
Topics for conversation with a girl if the conversation doesn't go well
Topic for conversation: “travel”
The most memorable events in a person’s life are travel. They impress us, make us happy and give us food for thought. Everyone loves to talk about their travels, adventures and trips to the ends of the world. We can chat about them for hours, re-immersing ourselves in memories and experiencing previous positive emotions.
- What countries have you been to and where are you going to go?
- What amazed and surprised you most about your travels?
- What country would you like to live in? What foreign language do you want to learn?
- What fundamental differences are there from your home country?
- What interesting things happened during your travels and what interesting things did you see?
Topic for conversation: "entertainment and news"
The conversation isn't going well? Entertainment forms a significant part of our free life outside of work. This is the best and most fun part. People like to tell stories about interesting things that happened, saw, and felt. People also willingly share news and gossip that they read on the Internet.
- How do you usually spend your weekends and free evenings?
- What concert did you attend and what style of music do you like?
- What places do you like to go and visit in your free time?
- What book do you read and which ones do you usually choose to read?
- What interesting films have you seen and what was the last time you went to the cinema?
Topic for conversation: “life experience”
We have all lived some eventful lives and we have something to talk about. You shouldn’t start a conversation with this topic, but it is always very interesting for both interlocutors. You can ask a spontaneous question to get to know the person a little better and get closer to him. Childhood always seems fabulous and happy, and therefore we seem to be plunging into a joyful past.
- Where did you grow up, how were you raised and what was you like as a child?
- Who did you dream of growing up when you were little? What made you change your dreams?
- Which relatives do you have a close relationship with and with whom do you communicate most often?
- Any brothers or sisters? Do you have close friends and girlfriends from childhood?
- What hobbies did you have as a child and what clubs did you go to?
Topic for conversation: “hobbies and hobbies”
Each of us has our own passion. It can be open to everyone or we hide it from others. These are all our hobbies and passions. We spend time, money and energy on our hobbies. They help us feel better and happier. When the conversation doesn’t go well, remember your hobby and ask about the hobbies of your interlocutor.
- What interests and hobbies do you have in life?
- How did you come to develop such hobbies? What talents do you have from birth?
- Have you tried drawing, music, sports, reading, crafts?
- What are your achievements and progress in your hobbies?
- What advice can you give when you're bored? What hobbies are you interested in?
Topic for conversation: “plans for the future”
People love to talk and talk about their plans for life. What they dream, think, plan. Often many people are just waiting to be asked something like this so that they can open up. We are very excited and very excited about our future.
- What will you do on the weekend, this summer or on vacation?
- What events are you looking forward to?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?
- What is your most important goal at the moment?
- What do you dream of most in life?
Why sometimes you don’t want to run games at all - as if it’s not fun, but work
Do you ever have that feeling when you don't want to play games at all? It's not just a period in life where games can't fill a need, but the feeling that another evening of World of Warcraft, a match of Civilization, or another playthrough of DOOM feels like... work. You just finished your weekday, got things done, and you have a couple of hours to yourself, but you don’t even want to open Steam. As if launching a game is another shift that I have absolutely no energy for.
During a recent conversation with a friend, the question came up as to why he practically stopped playing. He didn't know the reason, although he spent time studying the issue. According to him, he has no dislike for games, he is still interested in news, watches trailers, but there is an energy vampire hanging on his back, his limbs wrapped around his torso, which makes even the thought of spending time in games depressing.
I decided to study this issue to try to find out the reason and give advice, both to a friend and to everyone who is going through something similar.
In this matter, it is important to understand that each person is unique and there is no universal solution. But the association of video games with work usually has a common source.
The fact is that video games are not like books or movies and TV series. Games are an active form of entertainment. Like most active activities, spending time playing games consumes mental energy. Even during a match in Call of Duty, we make different decisions over and over again, choosing what to do, where to go, what ability to use. Even though this process seems to be reduced to a reflex, in reality it forces the brain to work and uses forces.
But CoD is not at all such a complex game compared to strategy or story-based adventure games, where there is also an element of emotional stress.
When in the evening a person only has enough energy to collapse on the sofa and turn on the TV, then what kind of games can we talk about? He has already been squeezed out like a lemon - not necessarily physically, but primarily mentally.
What causes this overwhelming fatigue?
Perhaps the reason is a hormonal imbalance. Maybe there are some vitamins missing. The reason can be sought in too much responsibility at work or lack of rest breaks.
To understand why a particular person experiences fatigue, you need to listen to yourself. Often, this can be a banal form of mild depression.
We've come across cases where you don't seem to be doing anything complicated on the computer, but it starts making noise, as if it were calculating the flight path of a rocket in the solar system or looking for a cure for diabetes. You open the task manager, and there is some bookmark in Chrome or a background program consuming resources, as if out of control.
Depression works in a similar way - it can be a deeply buried, shallow process. You didn’t launch it, or you simply forgot, but it works quietly and uses energy that could be spent on your favorite hobby, talking with friends, or playing a battle royale.
This is why professional psychologists exist. Not green girls and boys who graduate from the Faculty of Psychology and give remote sessions after advertising on Instagram, but experienced analysts of human consciousness who, through conversation, open a figurative dispatcher and try to find the program that is stuck there and creates endless problems. You can't just restart the system because it comes back. And medications turn out to be only a temporary deactivation of the process.
The first step in getting rid of figurative burden is realizing that something inside is not working as it should. What follows is a series of field tests. You can try changing your diet and see the results. Perhaps there is not enough physical activity. If everything is in order with school, work and family, then you need to get tested and check if everything is in order with the body, because loss of energy is often associated with a disorder of the thyroid gland or other physical problems.
In the case of depression, if going to a psychotherapist is excluded for one reason or another, you can start with banal self-analysis, with something that does not require a degree or experience, but can be the first step. To do this, you need to carve out a couple of days, eliminate absolutely all work, turn off the Internet and leave communications only for emergencies.
You need to allow your thoughts to move freely - accept even the most negative and frightening ones. Imagine yourself as a stone at the foot of a waterfall, so that the flow thunders but does not disturb the peace.
At the end of the second day, you need to get a pen and paper. Draw a big circle. Beyond it, describe all the external factors that rushed past your figurative cobblestone. Inside, write down all your internal worries, anxieties and fears. And then start letting them in at each point. Imagine that you are a biologist and you are looking into a Petri dish through a microscope. Carefully launch everything you wrote down into it, one after another, paying attention to the feelings that arise. What is taken for granted, and what awakens heaviness and outflow of strength.
This is not a universal solution, just a simple experiment to understand yourself a little. It doesn't work for everyone or get rid of the source, but it's a good start. It remains to find a way to isolate yourself for a couple of days from most external stimuli.
The problem of games being perceived as work cannot be solved by changing the genre or changing the difficulty level. Because it’s not about games, but about where energy is spent, which was previously enough for active entertainment. Sometimes even awareness of what exactly causes heaviness and apathy can lead to positive effects.
Well, if you are simply tired of games and nothing in the library makes you want to start it for an hour or two, then this is not a reason to start introspection. Perhaps some game really impressed you and won’t let you go. Perhaps you're just overwhelmed and just need a break. It could be a week or a month, sometimes even several years. Interests and hobbies change over time. What five years ago made your blood boil or captivated your nights, today may seem like a banal grind or a pointless waste of time. This is completely normal, many gamers go through this process and there is no need to fight it at all.
If you're going through a tough time, you're feeling discouraged, or you don't see a bright spot on the horizon, don't expect everything to go away on its own. Contact a specialist, especially if you have depression that leads to dangerous thoughts.
Illustrations: MEPOPA, Dominik Mayer, Andrew Lozano Header art: Piotr Jabłoński
Using the combination “with no one”
In this example, we are dealing with a phrase that contains the negative particle “nor”, the preposition “with” and the relative pronoun “who” in the instrumental case. “Nor” is used instead of “not” if the stress does not fall on the particle. This is exactly the case here. The separate design of phrases is due to:
- writing prepositions separately with all parts of speech;
- separate writing of the particle “not” with all pronouns except negative ones.
The lexical meaning of the phrase indicates the absence of facts of communication or joint activity.
The phrase is often found in law enforcement practice, when the investigator is trying to find criminal connections, and the suspect is proving an alibi.
Example sentences
- During recess, the new student did not communicate with anyone.
- The warring parties did not want to conduct peace negotiations with anyone.
- The child turned out to be so capricious that he did not want to play with anyone.
- “Who did you go to the sanatorium with?” - the boss asked his colleague. “With no one, alone,” came the answer.
- “Who did you meet yesterday at 7 o’clock in the evening in the Seaside Park?” - the interrogator repeated the question. “I answer again. “I met with my fellow student Ivan Nikonov,” said the student.
