How to overcome the fear of being alone. How to stop being afraid of being alone - secrets and advice from a psychologist

How to overcome the fear of loneliness and make friends with yourself

I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be alone. I'm afraid of what people will say. I'm afraid I'll never build a happy family. I'm afraid to spend the rest of my days with cats, watering the geraniums on the windowsill. I'm afraid that I won't have anyone to talk to. I'm afraid that everyone will understand that I am a bad woman, a failed wife and a worthless mother.

I'm afraid that all the married couples I know will turn their backs on me. I'm afraid that with age it becomes more and more difficult to find a mate and therefore you need to do it now. And quickly. I'm afraid that all the suitable men have been sorted out and I will have to choose from what is available.

I’m afraid, because my mother says “it’s better to be with at least someone than alone,” and wise, experienced people won’t give bad advice, they know better.

And what lengths do women go to in order not to be alone:

• They tolerate their partners. Moreover, the type of patience can be different: from dislike and disgust towards a partner to physical violence.
• They agree to a relationship that is obviously not mutual. Now I don’t love him yet, but he paid attention to me. Maybe with time I'll see the good in him. The main thing is that you are not alone. And then he will endure it and fall in love.
• They strive to find a partner faster, otherwise they are not the same age, then it will be more difficult to find a mate, “all the good ones were taken away as puppies.” Have you heard this phrase?

Of course, one cannot do without beliefs:

• a woman cannot be alone;
• behind every successful man there is a woman (all that remains is to find him and make him happy);
• Adam and Eve, where the woman is part of the man, his continuation;
• if a woman is alone, then there is something wrong with her;
• “You will live with cats all your life.”

Why you can't build a happy relationship

So why do so many women say that they can’t build happy relationships? Yes because:

• You invest a lot of strength, energy, and time into a relationship that has long since exhausted itself, but you stubbornly don’t want to see it. And then you get upset that he didn’t appreciate it. And a little later you get angry that everything is for him, but he does nothing. And a relationship is two people. And if you play with one goal, then this is not a relationship, but its illusion. And only you are deceiving yourself.
• You agree to something you don't like. Just not to be alone. And then you run away from this relationship because it is impossible to be there anymore. And you get disappointed. There is a fear that everyone around you is like that and there is simply no one who would suit you. You anxiously look for him and step on the same rake every time.
• You endure and don’t say “no” to your chosen one for fear of being left alone. Of course, there are those who have it worse. But why would you put yourself in a situation of such a choice. After all, there are those who do better. Note that you yourself chose this path.
• You don't know what you are like without a relationship. The whole world is silent and the world is disappearing from under your feet. This is already about the issue of codependent relationships. If there are no others, then I am not there either – sound familiar?
• Not confident in herself and her abilities. And in order for you to have everything you want, you need another. And if it is not there, then you will perish from hunger. And then this fear of being alone appears.
• You're bored with yourself, you don't know what to do, and you're frantically looking for someone who will be with you.
• There is a stereotype that the most important thing in life is relationships. In addition, your anxiety is fueled by films, books, photos on social networks where there are happy couples. And then the only thing needed for happiness is to be with someone. As if there is no other way.

What to do?

1. Write “what do you know about yourself.” What kind of person are you - beautiful, smart, inspiring, modest, sexy, weak, strong, confident or insecure. Write everything: both the pros and cons that you notice in yourself. It is often unnoticeable how significant and wonderful you are, even to yourself, if you don’t remind yourself of it.

And the disadvantages may turn out to be advantages or a “highlight” for someone. And when you realize your worth, you will no longer settle for the first person you meet, but choose a man worthy for yourself. And you won’t be forced anymore, because when you have knowledge about yourself, you also have the knowledge that you definitely won’t be alone and you have enough time.

If you’re really stuck and no thoughts come into your head, ask your friends what they like about you, how they see you, and write down at least 5 points from each.

2. Decide what the word “loneliness” means to you. After all, it can be used in different meanings. If not recognized, it seems global and frightening. If we describe “loneliness is when:

• I do not have anyone to talk to
• no one to love
• no one will care...”

And then it turns out that some of these points are not so scary and both your friends and you can cope with them; you don’t have to “fly into” a relationship for this.

3. Understand what you can do yourself. To do this, I suggest you describe “Why do I need a relationship?”

To earn money? To support? To give flowers? To have someone to go with to your friend’s wedding? To have someone to go on vacation with? And start doing on your own what is possible: find a new job or ask for a promotion, buy yourself flowers and treat yourself to a cake, ask a friend to be your escort at a wedding, find a cool company and go on vacation with them.

4. Think about what gives you pleasure. Write it down point by point. These can also be global desires - to go somewhere. Or it could be simpler - a spa, a boat trip, coffee in your favorite cafe.

And allow yourself to do this more often. Thus filling her with joy and pleasure. And not to look for this same joy and pleasure in someone.

And then be disappointed that this someone does not bring you happiness.

5. Notice if you are really that lonely? Or you have friends, colleagues, relatives or just interesting acquaintances. With whom you can have a great time and be fulfilled. Often, when we are preoccupied with some problem, we do not notice that there are people around who are ready to support us, share grief and joy, and just have a great time. Don't rob yourself.

If you have written all this down and realized that your fear of loneliness is not so terrible - congratulations!

If you realize that you can do a lot yourself, then you will find that you need someone else not out of fear of loneliness, but out of a desire for intimacy. And this is a completely different story. And she's definitely not so scary anymore.

Source: https://kolesogizni.com/otnosheniya/poborot-strah-odinochestva

I'm afraid to be alone! - about the fear of loneliness - personality development

I'm afraid to be alone, I can't be alone!, I feel bad/scared alone!, It's harmful for a woman to be alone!... Are you familiar with such thoughts? Fear of loneliness, especially among women, is a very common phenomenon and one of the main women's problems. Where does the fear of loneliness come from, how to get rid of the fear of loneliness, and in general, is it possible not to suffer alone?

Being alone is terrible, it sounds like a curse! - Yes, that’s often how it seems and is thought. But it is not at all a fact that behind this “horror” there is something real and worthy of tragedy.

Why does a woman suffer from loneliness?

In my opinion, the reasons for the fear of loneliness in women (it happens that men also suffer from loneliness - then this is about them too) are, by and large, only two: stereotypes and infantilism.

Stereotypes

Everyone knows the widespread stereotype that if a woman is alone, then she has failed, something is wrong with her - and sidelong glances, questions of varying degrees of tactlessness... If a woman is brought up in these stereotypes and shares them or depends on other people’s opinions, then she feels feels “out of place” when she is alone, feels some kind of inferiority and envy of her friends who have a husband or boyfriend. Friends and relatives only add fuel to the fire: “When will you find someone for yourself?”

In this case, she does not need a relationship as such, but the status of being in a relationship . And without this status, her pride suffers, and not a gentle soul at all, no matter what she tells herself. She lacks not her beloved, but self-affirmation in the eyes of others and her own. However, dependence on other people's opinions is usually not the main reason for the fear of loneliness.

Personal immaturity - infantilism

The second reason for the fear of loneliness is that its owner is affected by a deeper dependence - namely, dependence on people, which has deep roots in the structure of her personality.

This dependence is found in lack of independence or lack of self-sufficiency - a “childish” desire to solve one’s internal and external problems at the expense of another.

This is a form of social parasitism or psychological “vampirism”, in other words - infantilism.

Such dependence is primarily tied to the notorious “half”, who is entrusted with the functions of the main deliverer from problems, but in its absence other people can also be used. For a small child, lack of self-sufficiency is quite normal, but for an adult it is, at a minimum, personal immaturity. And at the most - neurosis, a sick need for love...

Such people constantly need attention, support, and approval. As a rule, they strive to please everyone, experiencing someone's disapproval as a disaster - and they bend over backwards to achieve this.

They have difficulty making decisions, seeking advice at the slightest issue.

They pester their neighbors with complaints about how bad they feel, and have the habit of blaming anyone for their troubles, but not themselves - for example, fate.

Of course, we are social creatures, and complete loneliness is difficult for humans. But when a person obsessively searches for his “soul mate” and suffers from loneliness, we are talking about something else.

This person is usually not alone at all - he lives in society, and not in the forest, he has relatives, friends, acquaintances, colleagues... It’s even strange how in such a situation one can even talk about loneliness, right? However, we all understand what we are talking about, and moreover, we consider complaints about loneliness to be normal and worthy of sympathy.

Here we have an answer to the question of why a woman suffers from loneliness. Actually, loneliness itself has nothing to do with it. Suffering comes from the fact that there is something wrong in our head, or from our own dependence. Thus, resentment is often a consequence of inadequate expectations, just as a smoker suffers from his addiction, and not from the lack of cigarettes...

Why is the fear of loneliness bad?

What is wrong with the fear of loneliness is not clear, because this misfortune is rarely seen in its true light.

More often it is romanticized, passing off as a sensitive nature and a sublime ability to love, as femininity and the search for purpose... It is glorified in poetry, music and in films - in any way they explain and justify the unfortunate dependence! But the saddest thing is that she is considered quite normal, so it doesn’t even occur to anyone to deal with her until the fear of being alone plays some cruel joke on a person, like the trap of domestic tyranny or drug-addicted love.

Fear of loneliness is one of the key traits of a victim (however, tyrants are also uncomfortable being alone). It is the fear of loneliness that prevents relationships from being built on the basis of mutual respect and makes various manipulations possible.

The fear of being left alone leads to the girl jumping out to marry just anyone or enduring an unbearable relationship with a tyrant husband without divorcing him.

Not to mention the fact that, left alone for some reason, a woman suffers severely and all her thoughts are occupied only with finding someone as soon as possible...

That is, what is passed off as a desire for love and a desire for happiness actually makes you suffer and dooms you to a completely unromantic relationship. Paradoxically, for a dependent person, life with a desired and found “soul mate” does not in the least relieve loneliness.

Two neurotics - a tyrant and a victim (or a Rescuer and a Victim) - coexist alone together, because mentally they are still separated.

But they “feed” on each other, and the feeling that “food” is always available is calming, delivering a kind of comfort, which is even taken by some as happiness.

And the lack of food, of course, causes fear and suffering - like a drug addict lacking a dose. This is exactly how a dependent person feels like a drug addict. He feels bad, hurts, life is not nice, he even gets the feeling that there is no life - he simply exists as a pale shadow of a person... But when He, the only one / She, the only one, appears - then Life comes!

This “life”, however, then turns into a “roller coaster” of withdrawal, euphoria and constant fear of losing. But this is not a sentence. Instead of constantly running after the elusive “dose” and worrying, you can recover from addiction and become a mature, healthy person.

A healthy person is not afraid of loneliness. From time to time he even needs solitude to come to his senses. Staying alone for a long time (without a partner) is simply necessary during periods of working on oneself, after the end of a relationship, especially unsuccessful ones.

And most importantly, it is impossible for anyone to become a mature person without going through a period of loneliness, not only without a soul mate, but more globally - when a person is internally differentiated from everyone. One might even say that the Personality is melted in the crucible of loneliness.

If we take into account that normal relationships based on real spiritual intimacy, that is, true love, can only be built by a mature personality, then here we have another paradox: if you really want to be not alone / not alone, fall in love with loneliness. The drug addict’s thirst for non-loneliness cannot lead to love - not because these are the “laws of the universe,” but simply because the neurotic is incapable of love and normal relationships.

So, if you are afraid of being alone or suffering alone, this is an alarming bell, and not at all the norm of life.

Such symptoms indicate that you are sick with addiction, which, even under the most favorable circumstances, will not allow you to build a happy relationship.

The desire for a relationship in itself, even the need to communicate with other people, is quite healthy, but not the suffering due to the lack of such an opportunity. Suffering and fear in addiction are the key words.

What to do if I'm afraid of loneliness

To begin with, of course, throw all complexes and stereotypes out of your head. Still, a person has the right his life as he sees fit - after all, he is the one to live this life, and not someone else.

Yes, you will have to work with your dependence on other people’s opinions and develop your own - this is a necessary stage of personal maturity.

We’ll have to take a closer look at the stereotypes themselves - are you sure that you agree with them and want to sacrifice your life to this idol?

To make the task easier, let me remind you that only we have the stereotype that a woman must certainly not be alone, as well as social pressure on this matter - a legacy of Soviet times with their collectivism. In the West, for example, the choice of a way of life has long been a personal matter, and any choice is good, as long as he likes it.

And then the mental work begins. Accept the idea that there is nothing wrong with being alone. There is no need to hide from yourself the melancholy and suffering from loneliness or the fear of being alone, but, accepting this state, you need to stop justifying it and feeling sorry for yourself. It’s better to redirect my soul searching - what exactly am I afraid of, afraid of loneliness, and what do I really want, striving for non-loneliness?

If you search, you will find behind romantic tears a passive position of waiting for something (someone) from the world that will solve your problems, and a stubborn unwillingness to take care of yourself. Needless to say, with this mindset, problems never get solved. But they can be solved on their own - you just need to change your perspective: this is not a problem, but a task , or even an opportunity .

Being alone has a lot of advantages: for example, you can do what you want... Do you want anything other than to love and be loved? - What a problem! And not just trouble, but self-deception. Because there is no such thing as “loving and being loved.”

But what is there, or rather, what do you want? The imagination draws idyllic pictures - from romantic courtship to a cozy house with children, which we are so fond of showing in commercials as symbols of female happiness.

But what's behind these pictures? - pleasure for your loved one. It is this state of pleasure that we dream about (we can just as easily dream about a gourmet dish), and not at all about relationships as such.

No, there is nothing wrong with pleasure. But turning other people into a way to get pleasure is somehow... ugly, wouldn’t you agree? And these people are unlikely to like it. This is not to mention the fact that there is also life, which cannot consist of romantic pictures and pleasures. There is so much more to life that meets us in every relationship.

And where is love, actually, in our dreams? Love takes care of the other - and this other also has his own feelings, desires, interests. However, sometimes behind dreams there is a desire to dissolve in another person and live his life, which is also passed off as love, although in fact it is simply an inability and unwillingness to live one’s own life.

Here we come to the most important thing - getting rid of the fear of loneliness can bring its own life. A life that is meaningful, full, realizing growth and development, adorned with the joys of discoveries and achievements, giving gifts of abundance to others... In general, no matter how you look at it, you can’t do without personality development and self-actualization again.

Note to those suffering from loneliness. Questions for yourself

• What kind of person am I?
• What am I interested in, what are my beliefs?
• What can I do and what do I do, what do I like/dislike?
• I have some talents - how can I use them to please myself and others?
• How to do something productive, learn something, instead of fruitless suffering?
• How to use your free alone time to become a person - before “looking for a person”?

Source: https://myempeiria.ru/psixologiya-i-filosofiya/ya-boyus-ostatsya-odna-strax-odinochestva/

Life without friends

Some people, after breaking up, immediately run to their friends to share their problem, while others, on the contrary, want to be completely alone. And there are cases when your separation was associated with the actions of friends and you simply decided to break off relations not only with your loved one, but with all your friends. Life without communication with friends is possible, but without communication it is completely unbearable. Therefore, if you want to break off relations with friends, be prepared for the fact that your life will change too. At first, you will really miss your loved one, but if you find something you love, then you simply won’t need anyone. All the same, the choice will be yours, because this is your life.

Fear of separation: I'm afraid to be alone - psychology

I’ll ask on the other hand: aren’t you afraid to spend your whole life together with an unloved person? “We while away the long nights, unloved with unloved” - you can’t erase the words from the song. Worries about how to stop being afraid of being alone most often arise after more than the first separation and among women after a divorce.

Women are ready to stay close to disliked partners with whom they would have separated long ago, if they were sure that there would be no threat of loneliness in the future and that new relationships would work out well.

In the meantime... they endure, remain silent, cry secretly from their husband or boyfriend, in the hope that he will definitely change for the better... Although, in fact, it’s not about men!

The fear of being alone is always not groundless.

Surely earlier in life there were similar cases where you were left alone: ​​you had to be alone for a long time at home, in kindergarten, perhaps you were accidentally lost on the street, in a store, or you forgot to pick you up from school on time.

There may be similar examples. What comes to your mind?.. Or, being alone, some kind of trouble happened to you: a stranger offended you, insulted you, something was stolen, you were disgraced... there are many cases.

Try to answer the questions below, the first thing you think of, indiscriminately:

• – what does your fear of being alone look like? (what color, size, weight, what does it look like) Where is it located and how old is it (a month, a year, several years)?
• – what thoughts haunt you when you think you’ll be alone? They often begin with the words “what if...!”
• – what can happen to any person if he is left alone? List all possible options.
• – which of your relatives, acquaintances, colleagues, friends are left alone? Write everyone down and how their lives turned out?
• – what will happen to you if you are left alone? What consequences scare you the most?

How not to be afraid of being alone?

Here, most likely, the reason for the fear is not in the threatening loneliness... but in the personal qualities of the woman. On a scale of ten, how would you rate your confidence, perseverance, self-belief, and desire to achieve something?

There is a famous proverb: “Fear is a bad travel companion.”

Do you know why? One of the main reasons is that a person driven by fears is secretly looking for a protector! Dreams of meeting someone who will protect you from troubles, solve them without your participation, protect you from grief and trouble. Did it resonate inside you, skip a beat?..

Let's say a defender appears near you. It turns out that some kind of failures, difficulties, incidents must constantly happen around. Otherwise, from what or from whom will he protect you?! Think...

On the other hand, fear is a great advisor! He tells you in which direction to deal with yourself.

How to stop being afraid of being alone? If your fear is “I won’t be able to provide for myself financially,” then there is a good opportunity to think and work through your problems with money and the ability to earn money.

If “who will need me and who will look at me like this?” - a chance to deal with complexes, accept your appearance as it is, and finally understand that it’s not about her at all...

And most importantly.

For example, when a person is afraid of drowning, he grabs onto everything that floats past...

How to stop being afraid of being alone? Who said that we need to stop?.. Close your eyes. Feel your fear, increase it 10, 100 times. Let it be, and accept the fact that you are afraid. Yes. Accepting anything and anyone is the first step in solving any problem.

Ask yourself:

• – Do I want to be in this state for another year or more, forever?
• – what benefits and advantages does the fear of being alone give me?
• – what do my fears tell me?
• – Do I have a desire to change in order to get rid of anxiety? Or let everything go as before, without changes?.. The more revelation in recognition, the better for you.

I assure you, when you strengthen your inner qualities, solid psychological ground will appear under your feet, your appearance will improve by itself, and instead of worrying about “how to stop being nervous?”, “how to stop worrying?” the desire for self-development and improvement of oneself and one’s abilities will come. What kind of man do you think you will attract in this case? Being confident.

One thing I can say for sure is that while you were reading this article, your fear of being alone became less.) You are in the right place and at the right time if you are reading these lines. This means that we understand that it’s time to change something, to do something about our experiences. Then let's get to work!

*I need help from a psychologist - blog psychologist, or online via Skype: Sumasoyti.com By the way, today is Sunday, I’m finishing an article, and our psychologist is sitting next to me and conducting a lesson on Skype. Feelings cannot be delayed, including on weekends.)

Your Ali Baba.

...and, of course, one of the best ways to cope with any fears is in a good mood.)

Source:

I'm afraid to be alone after a breakup

I receive so many letters from women who describe terrible relationships with their husbands and at the end say: “But I’m not leaving him. I’m afraid to be alone after a breakup.”

For some, the husband raises his hand, for others he drinks hopelessly, for others he lies on the couch and does not work anywhere. In all these families, the women are deeply unhappy.

But it is the fear of being left alone that prevents them from getting a divorce and never finding a man.

Where did they, in most cases, beautiful women, get this idea that they would be alone for the rest of their lives? That they won't meet a better, decent, normal man? There are two options here.

The first is that they had such an opinion about themselves even before this marriage. They didn't love, value, or respect themselves. When they met Him, they were immensely happy that at least someone paid attention to them. Well, in fact, later they received the full punishment for their rashness.

The second is that they developed such an opinion about themselves in marriage thanks to their husband. It was he who told them nasty things, insulted and humiliated them day after day. “Who needs you like that”, “No one else will want you”, “If I leave you, you will stay” and so on. Men usually say such things for a reason.

And with the goal of lowering a woman’s self-esteem there is no place to go, since they themselves are very insecure people, with a whole bunch of complexes. How can you keep a woman next to you if you are afraid that she will leave you? Of course, except for the option to become better. Intimidate, suppress, silence.

To be sure that no one else would like her except him.

This is where these phrases come from: “I’m afraid to be left alone after breaking up, and that’s why I endure it” and questions like: “ How to leave a tyrant husband if he threatens? "or" What to do if the man you love is an alcoholic? ".

What to do?

Urgently raise your self-esteem! Learn to love yourself immediately! Here, by the way, there is a vicious circle.

Women who find themselves in a situation where family life is completely unsatisfactory for them often cannot begin to love and respect themselves, as they continue to endure daily ridicule/reproaches/bullying/indifference.

How can you begin to respect yourself if there is a person nearby who constantly reminds you that you are worthless?

Therefore, the first thing to do is to get away from him. Gather your courage and finally take life into your own hands. Understand that no one will do this but you. Don't think about your fear.

Don't let him take over your thoughts. Think about how you are changing your life for the better. And then you can calmly take care of your self-esteem. And restoring it after the experience is a long process.

The main desire.

And so that you don’t lose it, I’ll tell you, dear women, the following.

If you make up your mind and leave your partner, but don’t change anything in your self-perception, then the next man you meet will mock you/lie on the couch/drink again.

Or is there another option that you are so afraid of. You may not meet anyone at all and suffer from prolonged loneliness. Because we always attract into our lives what we fear.

You need to work through your fears (preferably with a psychologist), learn to respect and love yourself, and then you will never again say the phase: “I’m afraid to be alone after breaking up.”

With love, Yulia Kravchenko

There are even more useful things in my Instagram and Telegram accounts, subscribe! Instagram Telegram

Source:

Fear of being alone after a breakup

loverelations

I had many attempts to break up with my boyfriend ... I understood that it was necessary, that we would not be together... We broke up many times, made up many times... And all this, I repeat, all this was practically out of fear of being left alone..... I broke up, and then on the second day fear….

Thought what next?? What if I don’t find anyone better, what if he was the best, what if it’s all my fault? and so on... In short, these thoughts literally ate me up..

I’m so used to him, I’m used to knowing that I have a boyfriend and I’m not alone, I’m used to him calling me every evening that someone needs me…..And if I break up, I’ll be left alone and that’s it???… .

It was unrealistic for me to imagine - I was such a coward =( I was annoying my friends with these conversations... It was really bad with relationships , every day there was some kind of nightmare, continuous quarrels... But I was just afraid to put an end to it...

But what I want to write... Girls, don’t be afraid to be alone!!! True...After a long and painful time, I decided and broke up, since there was nowhere else to wait...And what do you think? I realized that this is all absolutely not scary, but even cool......

When a relationship with a guy becomes tense and it lasts a long time, then when someone decides to break up completely, you finally begin to feel so happy! Do you think, why the fuck did I not break up with him earlier????????????

My friends told me: “Break up with him!” , and I was a coward.. Now, having separated, I have found a taste for life !!!!!!!! I can fall in love without remorse that I have a boyfriend... I can come back whenever I want, I may not call back, I can go for a walk with my friends!!!!!! I'm just independent, not lonely..=)

I have a lot of guys who like me... I can choose... I only recently realized this... Don't be afraid of new things... Getting used to a person is sometimes a bad thing.. Especially when you can't be with him and can't quit... Feel sorry for yourself, appreciate yourself! Don’t be afraid to be left without a guy - and there will be a heap more... And from this heap you can already choose the most worthy one =)

loverelations

I’ll tell you right away - it’s possible! I had them for three years... There was everything: quarrels , partings, tears, happiness , love , passion ....

BUT...It’s really difficult, especially at first, when you’re in love, you can’t live without a person, but he’s far away, fuck! What did I not have...

My stories can be used to write a book as long as Leo Tolstoy’s volumes =).

relationships are, of course, not normal, but when you love, there is no choice... Even if your loved one is in Africa... I had a boyfriend in Moscow. And I’m in Ukraine... We saw each other once every two months...

At first, of course, it’s breathtaking, it’s interesting to write SMS with declarations of love, talk on Skype for hours, days, months... But... everything passes gradually, subsides thanks to the distance... When you don’t see a person for a long time, you even begin to forget him...

Personally, it’s like this for me... The end is obvious - we broke up after a long time, spoiling each other’s nerves... Plus, at home, I couldn’t look for someone during quarrels, I sat and waited until we made peace... There was no way to see each other, and the quarrels were serious... It was hard...

Therefore, girls, it’s probably still not worth dating long distance... It’s difficult.. Although, I’m sure, 99% think so and I haven’t discovered America =)...

Try not to fall in love with the handsome “distant” ideal prince - he will turn out to be not such a prince and not so ideal.

.

Maybe it was different for someone else? Do you think it’s worth dating long distance???…..

Page 3

loverelations

Very interesting video!

Can you control destiny?

Source:

Fear of loneliness, or Why are you afraid to be alone?

Icy horror gripped her body, not allowing her to move. My heart began to beat wildly. There, behind the door, in the darkness of the entrance, the most terrible monster was waiting for her - fear. Smiling bloodthirsty, he painted pictures of future loneliness and emptiness...

0 4326 July 15, 2020 at 1:24 pm

- Nobody needs you! If you leave, you will be left alone!

Source: https://obu4ayka.ru/obshhenie/__trashed-1762.html

Fear of being alone without a man. Diagnosis of a phobia

How to understand whether the fear of loneliness that periodically visits every normal person has developed into a phobia requiring treatment?

One of the symptoms is inexplicable anxiety that occurs when you have to spend several weekends or even one evening without communication. The autophobe tries to avoid such situations and plan his time so that he is not without company for a long time. He may ask to visit a friend for the fifth time in a week, annoy him with calls to acquaintances - just to find someone to talk to.

A clear sign is panic attacks that occur as a result of quite ordinary situations: separation from family for several days, unavailability of a subscriber, or an unanswered SMS message.

Feeling of uselessness. Persons suffering from isophobia harass their friends and loved ones, demanding constant confirmation of their love and eternal friendship. Despite all the assurances from relatives of the sincerity of their feelings, the neurotic’s doubts do not go away.

The autophobe remains suspicious. He expects that sooner or later his family will turn away from him, abandon him, and diligently finds confirmation of this - “he looked at him coldly,” “he answered indifferently,” “she refused to meet with me last week.” In extreme cases, in an attempt to keep his other half, an autophobe may resort to blackmail and threaten physical harm or suicide in case they try to leave him.

The fear of unbearable loneliness pushes single men and women into unhealthy relationships. Autophobes may be promiscuous in sexual and romantic relationships. They are ready to date the first person they meet who finds them attractive, and if they break up, they rush into a new relationship without hesitation. They cannot leave their partner, even if he behaves dishonestly. They forgive him any insults, just so as not to be left alone.

The fear of loneliness is directly related to chemical and behavioral addictions. In an attempt to cope with anxiety, an autophobe resorts to alcohol, food, and smoking. The fear of loneliness can be hidden behind computer and gaming addiction, workaholism, and the habit of spending hours on social networks. The problem is aggravated by the fact that the true cause of the addiction is repressed, and the autophobe and those around him do not understand that with his destructive behavior he is simply trying to fill the inner emptiness.

I'm afraid to be alone! - about the fear of loneliness

I'm afraid to be alone, I can't be alone!, I feel bad/scared alone!, It's harmful for a woman to be alone!

... Are you familiar with such thoughts?
Fear of loneliness, especially among women, is a very common phenomenon and one of the main women's problems. Where does the fear of loneliness come from, how to get rid of it, and in general, is it possible not to suffer alone? Being alone is terrible, sounds like a curse!
– It is not at all a fact that behind this horror there is something real and worthy of tragedy.

Why does a woman suffer from loneliness?

By and large, there are only two reasons for the fear of loneliness in women (men sometimes suffer from loneliness too - then this is about them too): stereotypes and infantilism.