What is fear of betrayal
Some people confuse this phenomenon with banal jealousy or fear of being alone. However, psychologists have clearly defined this concept, which differs quite significantly from simple distrust of one’s soulmate.
Jealousy can arise even at the sight of a partner who is enthusiastically communicating with an attractive member of the opposite sex. Mistrust is usually based on an initial suspicion of everything that happens within and outside the couple.
Jealousy in small doses is even acceptable, because it allows you to fuel the passion of two loving hearts for each other. However, if we are already talking about paranoid thoughts about the obligatory betrayal of a loved one when his behavior is very exemplary, then we can diagnose such a thing as fear of betrayal.
It is activated even in situations where a loved one is close to a potential jealous person 24 hours a day and is tightly controlled by him.
Causes of fear of betrayal
An obsessive feeling of the expected collapse of the family can develop on the basis of phobias, which usually make themselves felt in the following way:
- Diffidence
. Not all men and women deep down consider themselves individuals who always remain above competition. Some people begin to get nervous about possible betrayal on the part of their significant other literally out of the blue. The fear of betrayal in such individuals is formed on the basis of some complexes that are created thanks to their own imagination or through rumors from “well-wishers”. - Problems in childhood
. Fear of betrayal may arise in an adult if his parents divorced in the past. Not all children perceive this process painlessly, because for them the collapse of the family is a fairly significant psychological trauma. Such mania sometimes also develops due to the lack of a sense of security in a child or teenager. - Bad experience in the past
. When analyzing interpersonal relationships, few couples can boast that their marriage was initially based on mutual trust. If one of the partners did not have a love story in the past due to the fact of betrayal on the part of the other half, then the fear of repeating the bitter experience can become an obsession. - The presence of infidelity in a couple
. A similar reason for the occurrence of the described mania further aggravates the fear of betrayal on the part of a loved one. You can also understand the betrayal of a spouse with whom you no longer maintain any relationship. Accepting the fact of the existence of an interest on the side in an existing marriage is given to a fairly small number of people. Even if a sinner who has repented is returned to his family, there is no guarantee that his adventures will not be repeated. - Strange behavior of the spouse
. In most cases, it may seem suspicious only to people who are insecure, who see a conspiracy in every action of those around them. The fear of betrayal will constantly haunt such persons, because they are not able to become happy due to far-fetched problems. - Open flirting of a partner
. Not every person will like the fact that his chosen one turned out to be a rather flighty person. There is a type of people who can stop at the stage of compliments and dirty jokes towards members of the opposite sex. However, for his significant other, even these half-hints of a desire to have fun on the side will be enough for him to develop a fear of potential betrayal in the future. - Fear of betrayal in young mothers
. A once stylish and self-confident beauty may lose her attractive figure to the male eye after giving birth. There is no need to be afraid of this, because everything has its time when regaining your figure after pregnancy. However, such common sense reasoning is not heard by all young mothers who develop a fear of betrayal on the part of their partner at the sight of more attractive potential rivals. - Hormonal disbalance
. During menopause, many ladies begin to react rather inadequately to quite ordinary things. Hormones can play a cruel joke on them, because during this period of life a woman often becomes suspicious and whiny. - Threats from a partner
. They can even be pronounced as a joke, which is clearly unsuccessful. Humor like “if you don’t take out the trash, I’ll go to a neighbor’s house” very often ends with a sad consequence in the form of the victim of such “gags” becoming afraid of betrayal at the slightest fault.
To some people, this mania will seem like an insignificant phenomenon against the background of the same pathological jealousy, which sometimes leads to a rather bloody outcome of events. However, a person with such fear will not be able to save his marriage, because water wears away stones. Not every spouse will agree to put up with a depressed person who herself does not believe in the joint future of the established couple.
The main signs of fear of betrayal in a person
It is very important for those close to you and the person himself to stop in time if there is a suspicion of voiced mania. According to experts, the fear of cheating on a husband or wife usually looks like this:
- Tight control of the partner
. Even if the spouse is stuck in the same traffic jam, then an immediate interrogation with pretentious speeches in the style of a prosecutor awaits him at home. After each word, “you don’t need to lie,” “who will confirm this,” or “come up with something more convincing” will be said. A victim of fear of betrayal is always actively searching for dirt on his partner. All his pockets are carefully checked several times a day. The phone number of a potential “cheater” is studied with such attention that a professional detective would envy. If the chosen one is out of touch for at least 5 minutes, then this can end very badly for him upon arrival home. - Regular tantrums
. Particularly eccentric persons during this process can engage in breaking dishes to enhance the effect of the educational event. The announced action is carried out according to schedule and with enviable consistency. With the fear of betrayal, insecure individuals can shed a huge amount of tears for one reason known to them and even enjoy such an activity. - Demonstrative self-pity
. Loving yourself alone will not be a problem for most people who value themselves as individuals. However, in this obsessive state, pity is formed in a particularly active mode. In this case, the husband is accused of taking the best years of her life from the victim of the described mania. - "Sound" arguments
. With and in most cases without it, people with a fear of betrayal conduct a thorough investigation into the fact of possible betrayal. It is enough for them to receive “reliable” information from a retired neighbor who literally saw with her own eyes the fact of entertainment on the side of an unfaithful scoundrel. This gossip is quite suitable for an insecure person, who can then arrange a family evening with a stormy showdown between the spouses. - Strange questions
. Some people are simply attacked by their significant other with similar attacks if they are obsessed with the fear of betrayal. This is done by bombarding the desired object with phrases like “do you love me?”, “you’re definitely not cheating on me” or “you don’t need anyone else but me.” At first, such increased interest in oneself can even be pleasant for the spouse. But this is only at the very initial stage of the described process, which ultimately turns into elementary whining and obsession.
Note! This behavior is not a problem exclusively for a person who experiences constant fear of betrayal. It affects the interests of his partner, who cannot feel comfortable in family life with this model of behavior.
Test.
So that you can understand how long the effect of lack of desire and need for a lover has been created, we have created a special test. To ensure accurate results, answer honestly.
1. Who initiated the creation of a family?
2. If you fall in love, then this is...
3. What motto would you choose for your future with your husband?
4. What worries you about him?
5. His professional life
6. How did you like his relatives?
7. If you have a fight, who goes first to restore the relationship?
8. Your professional life
9. What does he reproach you with?
If you have any questions, you can write them in the comments. We wish you all the best!
Subscribe to receive new published articles on the site directly to your email. We guarantee no spam!
Methods for dealing with the fear of betrayal
Psychologists strongly recommend that you definitely should not put up with this feeling. There are many ways to get rid of the fear of betrayal. In this case, it is not necessary to visit a specialist, because such mania can be eliminated by a doctor only in critical situations.
Advice from psychologists on getting rid of the fear of betrayal for women
Representatives of the fair sex in most cases are potential jealous people who are afraid of the appearance of a brighter rival in their man’s life. To get rid of such an obsessive complex, you need to act as follows:
- Self-realization
. To prevent your thoughts from being occupied with unproductive plans and illusory doubts, you need to organize your leisure time with maximum benefit for your business. In this case, it is worth remembering that in a family, a partner rarely cheats on his significant other if he considers her to be an accomplished person. If the chosen one does not suffer from such a thing as sexual promiscuity, then he will never seek solace on the side in the presence of a beloved and respected wife. - Taking care of your body
. It is necessary to forget once and for all the excuse convenient for lazy people that my husband should love me in any form. He can admire and desire even a spouse who has stopped taking care of herself, but is it worth the risk? The fear of betrayal most often visits precisely those women who understand that there are many quite attractive people around her man. However, nothing prevents an insecure lady from pulling herself together and improving her appearance. - Refusal of the ban on sex
. By punishing her husband in this way, a woman punishes herself first and foremost. A man will find solace on the side, but how his wife can then live with this fact is a big question. If you are afraid of your husband’s possible betrayal, it is not recommended to deny your loved one intimate intimacy without a significant reason. - Prohibition on surveillance
. Some women turn their personal lives into the animated series “The Koloboks Are Investigating.” This pattern of behavior can not only destroy trust in a married couple, but also lead to divorce in the future. The fear of betrayal should not guide the feelings and actions of the spouse, turning her from a loving and gentle wife into a bloodhound. - Conversation with friends in misfortune
. No one will be surprised by the fact that ladies love to “wash” the bones of their acquaintances and their significant other in their leisure time. This event can be carried out even more effectively if you find like-minded people with a similar problem. If a woman has let off steam during such a conversation and realized that her fears are not an isolated incident, then she will not take it out on her spouse.
Advice from psychologists on eliminating the fear of betrayal for men
The strong half of humanity may also experience all the negative aspects of such mental pathology. At the same time, experts advise potential Othello to change the situation for the better in the following way:
- Increased self-esteem
. Every man who loves and is loved by his chosen one must clearly analyze his strengths and weaknesses. If a woman chose this particular partner as her life partner, it means that she justified this for herself in a certain way. Therefore, a man who suffers from the fear of betrayal must work on himself in order to prove to his soulmate that her choice is correct. - Frank conversation with your partner
. Women love with their ears, which representatives of the stronger sex should always understand. If there is fear about possible betrayal on her part, then you should clearly tell her about it. During a monologue that is important for a couple, it is necessary to clearly justify the voiced concern so that it does not look like a reaction to yet another gossip from ill-wishers. However, you should not turn a heart-to-heart conversation into a formal interrogation with bias towards your spouse. - Maximum trust
. You won’t be nice by force, so if love has passed, then the woman can start looking for a new partner. If peace and tranquility reigns in the family, then there is no need to destroy the newfound happiness with artificial actions. Fear of betrayal is, first of all, disrespect for your partner if he does not give the slightest reason to doubt his sincerity. - Life one day
. A man should think about the fact that the fear of betrayal by the woman he loves can completely poison his existence. You need to appreciate what currently brings him peace and happiness. You should not aggravate the situation in the family if imaginary fears are solely a figment of the imagination of an insecure man.
How to get rid of the fear of betrayal - watch the video: If you have a question about how to overcome the fear of betrayal, you just need to calm down and put your thoughts in order. This must be done at least in order not to expose your couple to the risk of divorce in the future. It is also important to make efforts to regain self-confidence. After all, it’s always good to be around an interesting and attractive person.
Fighting methods
To get rid of the fear of betrayal, you need to rethink your behavior and treat fear philosophically, stop exhausting yourself with constant hysterics and paranoid attacks of jealousy.
Getting rid of fear on your own
Learn to love yourself, get your appearance in order, go to a beauty salon, sign up for makeup lessons. A beautiful and well-groomed woman always knows her worth, and she is not afraid to lose her partner.
If fear arose due to lack of attention, then the most effective way to solve this problem is communication. Tell your partner the reason for your fears, spend more time together. Common interests bring us closer together.
When the fear of betrayal arose due to your own example, immediately understand your attitude to this concept.
In severe cases, you cannot do without the help of a specialist. It is worth contacting a psychologist. Usually a couple of sessions are enough for a specialist to determine ways out of the situation.
Medication assistance
Those who are susceptible to the fear of betrayal are forced to live in constant accompaniment of stress or depression. Some medications can reduce the symptoms of fear.
- Phytosedan has a powerful sedative effect and prevents the negative effects of stress. This is a natural herbal mixture; to use it, you need to pour two filter bags with a glass of boiling water and leave for 20 minutes. Take 1/3 cup, three times a day. The course of treatment is two weeks.
- Persen has a mild relaxing and calming effect. Effective for neurotic conditions, relieves feelings of anxiety and depression. You need to take three tablets three times a day.
- Deprim is effective in the fight against depression and anxiety. Take one capsule once daily with meals. The therapeutic effect appears after two weeks of use; if after 4-5 weeks of taking the drug the condition has not improved, you should stop.
To reduce nervous excitability, taking decoctions and infusions of soothing herbs can help.
These include lemon balm, peppermint, motherwort, and valerian. The infusion is prepared as follows: pour 1 teaspoon of the herb with a glass of boiling water, leave for 40 minutes, take half a glass three times a day.
