Fears during Pregnancy. How to get rid of fears during pregnancy

It just so happens that for most women, pregnancy is seen as the most wonderful time in life. After all, what could be better than the realization that a new, absolutely unique person is growing inside you, who will become your little continuation. In addition, during these 9 months, a woman usually simply drowns in attention: the people around her are extremely gentle and courteous, everyone tries to help and please her in some way. Isn't that nice? However, in reality, it happens that this wonderful time is overshadowed by various anxieties and fears during pregnancy. And this happens quite often. What usually provokes these unpleasant psychological states will be discussed further.

The mechanism of development of fears in a pregnant woman

Pregnant women have fears of different natures, some of them are completely harmless to the mental and physical health of the expectant mother and her baby, others pose a significant threat to the development and life of the fetus, leading to serious personality disorders, including phobias and depression.
Nature has laid down a special role for women - motherhood, which is the basis for procreation. Therefore, the expectant mother worries about and without reason during pregnancy.

A genetic feature of humans is caring for their offspring, like all mammals; a number of fears in a pregnant woman are associated with this feature:

Health of the child in the womb;
Resources of your body to fulfill the role of a mother (the ability to bear and give birth to a baby);
Heredity (genetic diseases, predispositions);
The ability of a family to raise and provide a child with everything necessary.

These fears are nothing more than a product of the subconscious, and in moments of mental instability caused by hormonal changes during pregnancy, they make themselves felt in the most unpredictable way. The general level of anxiety of the pregnant woman increases, sleep disturbances may occur, and appetite is lost, even to the point of refusing food.

Anxiety during pregnancy is quite common, but you need to be careful to notice the negative impact of fears on the life of a pregnant woman. Often, hyper-anxiety is a factor in high blood pressure, unexpected bleeding, and even in the most severe cases, the cause of abortion or missed abortion.

The mechanism for the development of fears in a pregnant woman looks schematically like this:

The appearance of an unusual and previously unknown state, sensation, or thought. For example, nagging pain in the lower abdomen during pregnancy indicates different factors in its occurrence. When a woman is unable to independently determine this reason, fear of the unknown appears.
Reinforcement of the cognitive component with knowledge about similar phenomena. The pregnant woman recalls what her friends, relatives and other women who were involved in motherhood told her. A game of consciousness begins on the topic “What do I know about this?”
Illogical conclusion. Typically, the expectant mother attaches her feelings about motherhood to her knowledge, which is often negatively colored emotionally.
The development of anxiety and fear itself.

To constructively combat fears in a pregnant woman in the early stages and before childbirth, it is necessary to change the constituent elements at the second and third levels in the mechanism of fear formation, which will lead to the elimination of anxiety and a successful fight against obsessive anxiety in pregnant women.

Important! If you notice a loss of appetite or sleep, poor health against a background of increased anxiety and fear for your baby, immediately contact your doctor so that he can make appropriate prescriptions for you, perhaps even refer you to a psychologist for consultation. It’s normal to be afraid for any reason during pregnancy; the main thing is to keep your anxiety level under control so as not to harm yourself and your baby! Calm, just calm!

Any mental state has its own external and internal symptoms that characterize it as a process in the dynamics of development. External signs of the presence of fears in a pregnant woman before childbirth and in the early stages include:

Paleness of the skin;
High blood pressure, rapid heartbeat;
Excessive absent-mindedness and inability to concentrate on a specific activity;
Constant conversations about a disturbing event (communication factor);
Tremor of the limbs;
Significant enlargement of the eye pupil;
Muscle spasms that accompany thoughts of fear;
Changing the sound of the voice (timbre);
Dry mouth;
Nausea, vomiting.

External manifestations can be noticeable to any person who observes a pregnant woman, but only their totality and a detailed history of data can indicate the presence of fear.

Internal signs are based on the analysis of neural connections and structural features of the central nervous system.

How to deal with worries ↑

The fight against fears associated with pregnancy begins from the moment the source is identified. As soon as a woman understands what underlies her condition, fear loses its power or disappears altogether.

Scientists are increasingly coming to the conclusion that fears during pregnancy are associated with the fact that a woman has a lot of free time. And therefore, obsessive thoughts arise, developing into fears, which poison the wonderful period of waiting for the baby.

Every pregnant woman is subject to fears. It is important to be able to deal with them and direct your worries in a positive direction.

Overcoming fear means distracting yourself from it. Having filled her free time with useful activities, the expectant mother will not even notice how her worries will fade into the background, and her mood will be simply excellent.

Are you constantly afraid for the well-being of your loved ones? Read about the fear of losing loved ones. A child has fear: how to help? Find out from the article.

Read about methods of eradicating men’s fear of serious relationships here.

Some useful tips:

Favorite hobby . Even if a woman wasn’t into anything special before pregnancy, now is the time! Some ladies, out of superstition, prefer not to do needlework. However, there are other ways to show your creativity: drawing, playing music.
The publication . Visiting theaters, exhibitions and museums is a wonderful pastime that will benefit the expectant mother and baby. The psychologist is expressed the opinion that giftedness and creativity in children whose mothers were close to creativity during pregnancy manifest themselves to a much greater extent.
Trainings and fitness for pregnant women . The modern sports industry has a whole range of special activities designed for expectant mothers. Yoga school, dancing, breathing exercise courses, swimming will become not just entertainment, but a real salvation for maintaining the physical shape of women, preparing for childbirth and will contribute to effective postpartum recovery.
Walk outdoors . Fresh air, the proximity of a body of water, and the sounds of nature will help a pregnant woman relax, rest her soul and body, and tune her thinking to a positive wave.

Any of the listed methods of dealing with fears are suitable for use only if there are no medical contraindications. Fitness classes are coordinated with the doctor managing the pregnancy.

It is worth remembering that excessive stress can harm the health of the expectant mother and baby no less than physical inactivity and anxiety! Everything should be in moderation and under the supervision of a specialist.

Pregnancy is a wonderful period. Nature has given a woman the opportunity to experience such happiness as expecting and giving birth to a child. Many moments will be remembered for many years, so let them be only joyful and positive feelings!

What is tokophobia and how is it characterized?

Pregnancy phobia means that an individual is pathologically afraid of the process of pregnancy and childbirth itself. Every tenth woman has tokophobia. A female representative refuses the idea of having children, while at the same time, at the subconscious level, she retains maternal feelings.

Fear of pregnancy affects demographic indicators in several European countries. Often the causes begin in childhood.

Young girls can be impressionable, especially if they are told that giving birth is painful and painful. It happens that after watching a film where the birth of a child is shown in detail, unpleasant impressions remain for the rest of your life. The girl may not want to have a child after what she saw.

There are two types of tokophobia: primary and secondary. The primary type refers to women who have not yet gone through the process of childbirth. Pregnancy phobia can be caused by sexual harassment.

The secondary type most likely refers to female representatives who have already had children in their lives. It happens that a woman goes through a difficult birth, after which depression arises and any desire to give birth disappears.

There is a possibility that pregnancy will occur in a tokophobe. Then the woman begins to get rid of the child as soon as possible; at best, she has an abortion. Some girls simply do not have the moral and physical strength to accept a child.

In such a situation, the problem must be solved comprehensively. For many expectant mothers, a child is desired, but the fear is so great that they still lose the fetus through abortion.

If a woman nevertheless agrees to give birth, then she begins to persistently persuade the medical staff to perform a cesarean section (in this case, there may be no medical indications at all). In case of pregnancy phobia, doctors agree to perform an operation in order to preserve the health of the mother and unborn child (in stressful situations, a miscarriage is possible). The reaction from the female body during natural childbirth can be unpredictable.

A phobia causes serious problems. Women in labor who have a fear of pregnancy believe that this is how they control the situation.

Myths you definitely shouldn't be afraid of

Pregnancy is much more difficult with a female child than with a male child . I can't even guess who came up with this, but it's definitely not true. It all depends only on the state of the mother’s body.
Pregnant women lose teeth . Only with a lack of minerals and vitamins can any problems with gums and teeth arise, but this has nothing to do with pregnancy. In addition, now, unlike the time of our great-grandmothers, there are no restrictions associated with medicinal dental treatment during this period, since the drugs are produced of the highest class.
Expectant mothers are not allowed to cut or dye their hair . No harmful substances, such as ammonia contained in most hair dyes, can harm the baby through the scalp.
You can die during childbirth . Thanks to modern technologies, the mortality rate of women during childbirth is almost zero. If you attended an antenatal clinic, strictly followed the doctor’s recommendations and monitored your health, no complications should arise.
Pregnancy dulls a woman . Not at all, it’s just that a woman’s life priorities may change, and since motherhood becomes her main concern, she may be a little absent-minded and forgetful for some time. But this does not speak at all about her level of intelligence, knowledge and skills.
“Pregnancy is a disease, I will not be able to lead a normal life . To believe this would be completely stupid. During pregnancy, you should just be more attentive to yourself, because now you have responsibility not only for yourself, but also for the baby. If an activity does not harm you and your child, then why give it up?
No one should know about pregnancy, otherwise they will jinx it . This is bullshit. It's your right to tell anyone about it or not.
If you eat too much, the baby will get fat and it will be more difficult to give birth . Eating a lot is not recommended for this reason. An increase in appetite during pregnancy is normal. On average, you will start eating 20-30% more. But the amount of food you consume will not affect the baby; everything you “ate” will remain with you, which can subsequently cause problems with postpartum weight loss.

It is safe to say that pregnancy in women is accompanied by almost the same fears. And retelling the same legends to each other, they become even more frightened. The most correct view of pregnancy, without any speculation or prejudice, is to overcome this period calmly, looking at everything as positively as possible. Inconveniences and difficulties are temporary. Ask your mother how soon she forgot all the worries and pain she experienced? She will answer you that right when she first held you in her arms after giving birth.

The most important thing to remember is that your own health and the condition of the child at the moment comes first. And therefore, if possible, try not to harm either yourself or your baby with an endless feeling of fear or anxiety.

Fear often comes from ignorance. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask and find out about aspects that interest you. I hope our tips on how to get rid of fears during pregnancy also helped you. By the way, after giving birth, many women noted how positively their worldview changed, how life began to play with new colors. And if you have decided and are sure that you are ready to take such a step, then feel free to take it! Don't be afraid of anything, you will certainly succeed.

Why are fears dangerous?

Each of these fears is a panic attack of our consciousness. A stream of thoughts growing like a snowball, giving no rest. Often the gradation of the level of fear depends on the attitude with which the woman entered a new path and accepted the news of pregnancy.

In this situation, it is very important to monitor the emotional mood and fight fears, as they can develop into neurosis, and increased anxiety leads to fatigue, decreased immunity, anxiety in the baby and increased tone of the uterus.

It is important to understand and remember that a woman’s emotional background is a program. And what she is like depends only on her.

By experiencing anxieties and fears, you can influence the baby’s emotional background and program yourself for the outcome of labor. Remember, during pregnancy and childbirth there are two of you, and if you are already an adult and independent woman, then inside you there is a little person who has yet to learn everything. And your task is to help him cope with all the difficulties.

You shouldn’t program yourself for what might be bad, because with exactly the same probability it might not happen. It's better to focus on what can be done and what depends on you to make it easier for him. And the very first point here is the calmness of the mother.

Tokophobia has specific symptoms. These can be used to determine that a woman has a phobia of pregnancy:

cardiopalmus;
panic attacks;
sleep disturbance;
insurmountable fear and anxiety;
constant nervousness.

Such factors become a threat to pregnancy; if the phobia is not resisted, a miscarriage may occur.

The feeling of fear and panic is destructive. A woman makes decisions solely based on emotions. Each new stress negatively affects the pregnancy process, and the child may be born defective.

Pregnancy phobia is based on a woman’s worries and experiences. Such fear paralyzes will and action. The female representative is very worried, her hands usually tremble, negative thoughts are spinning in her head. Fear can drive anyone crazy.

The fear of getting pregnant is usually associated with an experienced event. There may be both physical and psychological reasons. Most often these include the following:

sexual harassment of a woman, violence against her (as a consequence, severe depression develops, which gradually develops into a phobia);
pregnancy before adulthood (it happens that the guy or girl was not yet ready morally to become parents);
abortion as a teenager;
painful childbirth;
depression after childbirth;
stillbirth of a child or with complex diseases;
fear of loss of body beauty and health;
fear of not being a good parent.

A woman may also be afraid of changes in her life with the birth of a child, pain during and after childbirth, and the possibility of dying.

If you have a phobia such as fear of getting pregnant, it is important to promptly contact a specialist who will provide appropriate assistance. Such fear, like any other fear, can be treated. It is important to recognize the problem and take the first step towards getting rid of it.

During a personal conversation, a psychologist will help you find out what the reasons for your fear were. It happens that a woman simply has no one to share her inner experiences with. It is not so easy to talk to a stranger, and close people do not always understand emotions and thoughts, especially pregnancy phobia becomes a subject for discussion. A specialist usually not only talks about personal topics, but also prescribes treatment.

The expectant mother needs to understand what will happen to her body during pregnancy, what stages childbirth consists of, and how great the risks are. There is no need to torment yourself with expectations, or be afraid of what may not turn out to be in reality. The psychologist works with women both in groups and individually.

Close people should first of all provide support to a female representative who has a phobia of pregnancy. It is necessary to constantly demonstrate that everyone goes through childbirth, children are a normal program for the human body, laid down by nature.

Meditation, yoga, and various types of relaxation can also help get rid of fear. Breathing exercises relax a person, reduce the number of panic attacks, and improve smooth breathing. Sometimes hypnosis can be used to treat a phobia.

Like any mental phenomenon, fears should have their reasons:

The unknown and unknown are scary. Anxiety that accompanies a person at different stages of his life helps to activate the body’s defenses and thus avoid danger. Constant fear helps a pregnant woman timely notice changes in her body that may signal a threat to the fetus. But sometimes it happens that this interferes with normal life, so it is worth consulting with others and a doctor so as not to get bogged down in these phobias.
A change from the familiar and ordinary. Naturally, with the birth of a child, a woman’s life becomes different - work is replaced by home, any activities and hobbies are replaced by caring for the baby, which takes up all her free time. Changing your usual lifestyle also frightens the expectant mother.
Fatigue, physical exhaustion. Pregnancy is hard work for the body, which uses all its resources.
New degree of responsibility. Against the backdrop of constant overwork and exhaustion, a feeling of anxiety arises due to the burden of responsibilities and affairs. Mom is afraid that she will not cope with her new role and responsibility for the life and health of the little person.
Negative experiences of others. Fear is also formed on the basis of stories that haunt a pregnant woman in everyday life: stories from mothers, grandmothers, and friends about motherhood as something overwhelming and terrible.

There are a huge variety of phobias, here are some of the most pressing fears for pregnant women:

Fear of death. The complexity and responsibility of bearing and giving birth to a child gives rise to thoughts that a woman is losing health and vitality, which may not be enough during childbirth. In this regard, the fear of death arises. It accompanies a person at all stages of his life and is the key to its preservation, that is, it is quite natural to be afraid of death. But when mixed with a cocktail of hormones that activate the body’s resources and affect the brain and central nervous system, as well as the psyche of the individual, the result is a “nuclear explosion” that an emotionally unstable woman is unable to cope with.
Fear for the life and health of loved ones. A child brings adjustments to people’s usual way of life, so pregnant women are often afraid that the birth of a baby may have a negative impact on loved ones with whom they will not be able to communicate and see each other as before.
Fear of the future. The birth of a child is a new stage in life, which entails changes, and what was planned may not come true or may not happen in the right way.
Fear for the health and development of the child (fetus). This is the fear of an ectopic or frozen pregnancy, fear of pathologies of fetal development, stillbirth or injury to the child during childbirth. The health of the baby and its preservation is one of the most important concerns during pregnancy, since it is not always possible to personally influence something. An ectopic or frozen pregnancy can only be determined by a doctor, and the pregnant woman will not be able to influence it - the process is irreversible. Developmental pathology is also impossible to feel, just as it is impossible to feel the birth of a stillborn child before it leaves the birth canal. It is impossible to predict the behavior of a doctor who may accidentally injure a newborn, or to completely control his behavior. A pregnant woman is dependent on surrounding factors: the doctor, the environment, unforeseen incidents, etc.
Fear of pain. The most powerful and all-encompassing fear that haunts a woman throughout pregnancy. She begins to fear suffering from the stories of friends who have already given birth or from her own knowledge. Pain is never the same, so the unknown of your future sensations is scary.
Fear of childbirth. Most often it manifests itself acutely closer to the time of delivery and affects the woman completely. To avoid or minimize it, pregnant women attend specialized courses where they learn how to behave during childbirth, pain management techniques and communication skills with newborns.
Fear of unplanned pregnancy. It can be present in women of any age and any financial situation. Most often it is formed under the influence of surrounding factors: the opinions of a partner (spouse), relatives or loved ones, lack of material resources (in the opinion of the girl herself or her environment), an imaginary inability to cope with a child. This fear can be minimized by having the necessary knowledge on the prevention of unplanned pregnancy and methods of contraception, as well as information about motherhood as a wonderful destiny for the fairer sex.
Fear of one's own unattractiveness in connection with pregnancy and childbirth. It arises due to the negative experiences of others and intrusive stories on the Internet. The support of your spouse and relatives, as well as knowledge about ways to restore your body and figure after childbirth, will help in the fight against it. The right emphasis on motherhood will help avoid unnecessary fears.

The famous psychiatrist G.I. Kaplan divided fears into two types: constructive and pathological. Constructive ones are based on the instinct of self-preservation. These are fears that will help the expectant mother to always be on the alert, not to miss dangerous sensations or changes in herself or the baby, and to respond to the situation in a timely manner.

Causes of fears during pregnancy

Pregnancy phobia can have a number of causes and many varieties. Most often, the fear of giving birth is influenced by:

My own experience of unsuccessful births. When previous births resulted in injuries, ruptures, stillbirth, or the appearance of a sick baby. The main thing is to realize that the experience gained will allow you to avoid past problems and mistakes, and this time everything will be different.
Stories from other women about their own childbirth experiences. Due to their emotionality, clients rarely mention this process in a positive way; they tend to exaggerate the “horror” of what happened. Inexperienced friends, having heard enough of such stories, begin to panic in fear of the most important moment in the life of every woman.
Pre-existing phobias. Usually this is a fear of death. The client is careful not to die from blood loss, painful shock, improper anesthesia, or other possible situations. Fear is reinforced when there is negative information in this direction from the outside or if loved ones are against the birth of a child.
Fear of misunderstanding. More often it is characteristic of young nulliparous girls aged 15–19 years. When the partner is not yet ready for the birth of a child, the family rejects the baby and insists on an abortion. Having received such an experience once, having been persuaded by loved ones, a woman, even in adulthood, will think not about her happiness, but about how her environment will react.
Fear of being far from the maternity hospital at the time of delivery, where there is no assistance from medical staff.
Fear of injuring your child during childbirth and after it.
Unpreparedness to become a mother. The reason may be strained relationships with her own parents, when a woman did not experience proper attention in childhood and is wary of becoming a bad mother.
Fear of the unknown, the new, fear of change. When you get used to constancy, it is difficult to come to terms with new circumstances. The birth of a child completely changes the life of a couple; clients are afraid of losing the man’s affection, place at work, and status in society.
Fears for the fate of the child. It occurs in women who have no means of subsistence, who are left without a partner or support.

Fear one: something might happen to the child

First we need to figure out what exactly we are afraid of. Perhaps for each of you this is something “secret, unusual, not like everyone else,” moreover, shrouded in preliminary diagnoses of doctors and all-knowing forum regulars. But most of all, you and I are afraid of one thing: that something will be wrong with the child. I'm right? Of course, any mother first of all worries about her treasure, and only then about everything else.

All of us, when really, really needed, can be strong, sometimes capable of incredible things, despite all diagnoses. Believe in yourself and your body, listen to your body and give free rein to positive thoughts. That's all.

Don’t read “horror” stories about childbirth, don’t watch the news, don’t let negative information get into your head. Just turn off the TV first. Even if you have already read something and tried it on yourself, try to get rid of the negative. How? Look for the positive!

You have no idea how many advantages you now have over the rest of the people on the planet! Now is the time when you can allow yourself to do what you have long dreamed of, and all this will be of great benefit. For example, during my different pregnancies I wanted to do things like yoga, English, and handicrafts.

Dizziness and fainting

In the first trimester, dizziness and mild nausea are due to the fact that at the beginning of pregnancy the blood pressure of the expectant mother decreases slightly, and this is the norm due to the physiology of the interesting situation.
Most often, this state of affairs does not cause trouble. However, if the pressure has dropped significantly, you can feel it. In addition, the condition may be aggravated by the fact that in the first 10-12 weeks the level of glucose in the blood decreases significantly, but the new condition requires an increased dose of natural sugar from the body. The body takes its toll, but in response to this there is an increase in insulin secretion, which again leads to a decrease in the required glucose level.

The circle closes, and the body reacts to this with weakness and dizziness. If the malaise is mild, then that’s the end of the matter, but it also happens that a pregnant woman faints. Most often this happens in a stuffy room or from a feeling of hunger.

In the last trimester of pregnancy, fainting occurs more often when lying on your back - this is due to “inferior vena cava syndrome,” when blood flow to the heart is disrupted due to compression of the inferior vena cava by the pregnant uterus. This provokes a drop in blood pressure and, as a result, fainting. To prevent such compression, doctors recommend that women rest only on their sides.

Drug treatment

In some situations, pregnancy phobia cannot be treated with conversations and visits to a psychologist alone. Sometimes the problem lies in deeper processes. In such circumstances, only drug treatment is possible. It is important to remember that the disease is surmountable; the question is the correct selection of medications.

If a woman is pregnant, taking medications will be contraindicated. It is better to contact a psychotherapist who will prescribe, for example, hypnosis sessions. At the stage of pregnancy, the specialist is faced with the task of ensuring that the girl does not abandon her unborn baby. It may be enough for her to meet other mothers in group therapy who have already gone through the pregnancy process and can dispel myths and share advice.

Most often, sedatives are prescribed for pregnant women. It is important to establish healthy sleep and calm your psyche. It will be useful to watch educational videos, read literature, and observe other parents and their children.

In an advanced form of pregnancy phobia, a depressed state may occur and the woman becomes depressed. In this case, the doctor prescribes antidepressants, it is recommended to spend more time in the fresh air, with loved ones.

Fear of pregnancy and childbirth is a natural process. It is inherent in every person. The only question is how much an individual can control it and give himself rational arguments. Don't wait for fear to develop into tokophobia. As soon as panic attacks or negative thoughts associated with bearing a baby arise, you should immediately seek help from a specialist.

I have a stomach ache

During pregnancy, it is difficult to determine offhand what hurts, because there are quite a lot of organs in the abdominal cavity, and the expectation of a baby leaves its mark. Sometimes painful sensations are a reflection of the underlying disease, latently indicating a problem. One way or another, only a doctor can and should determine why and where it hurts.

One should be especially alarmed by the appearance of nausea, vomiting, weakness, and increased body temperature against a background of pain - all these symptoms may indicate an “acute abdomen” when surgical intervention is required (this happens with acute appendicitis, torsion of the pedicle of an ovarian cyst, renal colic, gallbladder diseases ).

In the second half of pregnancy, pain may be associated with increased uterine tone. Most often, this reaction is felt in response to the baby moving or increasing physical activity. In this case, consulting a doctor is also necessary, because increased tone can pose a threat to miscarriage.

Fears are preserved

The second and most difficult thing is to visit the maternity hospital “on the way”, long before the birth, that is, to lie in care. The atmosphere itself is tense, not to mention the real (not like on forums) roommates who have...

This is where the whole mechanism starts in our head, already ready for fears. Stop. Let's immediately agree that at this stage we will keep the flow of our thoughts on the topic of pathologies under control, okay? After all, if you begin to develop them and day after day tell everyone around your “very scary” story, you yourself will believe in it. For now, this is your preliminary diagnosis.

During my visits to gynecologists long before all my pregnancies (and also in the intervals between them), I heard something like the following: tilted uterus, narrow pelvis, 3rd negative blood group, endometriosis, varicose veins, hormonal “distortion”, etc. That is, a completely suitable set for being scared and never giving birth, and if you do give birth, then “as if to bear at least one.” As a result, all four of my children were born peacefully. After all, they didn’t know everything that the doctors knew!

During my first pregnancy, I was “lucky” to get saved at about 32 weeks. I lay there for 10 days with increased tone and went home on my word of honor - to rest more, not to move the furniture and not to do general cleaning.

Of course, my bedmates and I talked about all the pressing topics, which did not instill optimism, and my world shrank to the size of a hospital ward. It was sad and for some reason I felt sorry for myself, so defenseless, not to mention the baby. But on one of the monotonous sick days, an episode occurred that not only cheered me up then, but also somehow left an imprint on my future life.

And this is what happened. One of the women, finishing a huge mug of tea and peacefully scratching her lower belly, said that she would be back soon, and somehow left unnoticed. And after 2 hours she really came back... Already without a belly! She came for things herself, in person, having just given birth to her fourth (!) child.

You can imagine my shock... I was sure that something incredible must happen to a woman before giving birth. And to return after a couple of hours alive and unharmed - as if she had gone out to the store to do some shopping - is too much! While the neighbor “moved” to the postpartum ward, we stood with our mouths open. If only we could do that!

I give this whole long example in order to say: even in the pathology department you can find a positive, cling to it and not let go for as long as you like.

Ways to overcome

If a woman does not work on her fear, then she will never be able to decide to have a child. On the one hand, this may seem like a tempting decision, however, in the future you will very much regret such a rash act. The fact is that the years favorable for bearing a baby and feeding him quickly pass. When a woman says to herself: “I’m afraid of pregnancy,” she thereby closes all the doors to a happy life. No matter how good the relationship with your partner, a child is necessary for complete harmony. A great bright feeling must have a continuation. What ways are there to help cope with this phobia?

The ability to give care and show love is inherent in every woman from the very beginning. It’s just that someone suppressed this desire in themselves and replaced it with the desire to imitate a man in everything. A true woman never competes with her husband, does not interfere with him, but helps him. Her task is to inspire the stronger sex to new achievements and actions. It is for the sake of a woman that a man has a desire to conquer the whole world, a passion for conquest - he does everything for her sake, to lay all the blessings at her feet. A true woman always intuitively feels how to cheer up her partner, perfectly recognizes when he is out of sorts and how this can be corrected.

Trust fate

In life everything happens as it should be. If a woman accepts this truth as an axiom and stops arguing with nature, then soon the pregnancy phobia will disappear by itself. If you feel that you are not ready to become a mother right now, drop this topic. Just rely on your gut feeling. A woman is able to independently understand when she really wants to nurse a baby, hold him in her arms, feed him, and give her warmth and love to the tiny man. The phobia will go away on its own as soon as there is no soil left for it to develop.

A confident girl’s vocabulary should include the words “I can”, “I can do it”. This approach helps to effectively combat any phobias. The fear of pregnancy can completely discourage the desire to work on oneself, to somehow improve. Here you need to step over your own cowardice and take responsibility. It is necessary to understand the following: who else but the mother should be the first to love the unborn child in her heart, then the process of gestation will bring only joy. You need to independently set yourself up for a favorable birth. Understand that no one will do this for you. In rare cases, husbands are able to share similar experiences of their wives, so you should not rely only on their support. A woman needs to be true to herself in order to overcome a phobia. Accepting responsibility implies that the girl realizes what difficulties await her after the birth of the baby and develops a readiness to cope with them. Only then can you rely on the sincere care and protection of a loving spouse. Otherwise, she will face bitter disappointment, misunderstanding and loneliness.

Refusal of self-criticism

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Fears that doctors stir up

They, of course, have power over us. Especially considering our situation and emotional state. But you must understand: a doctor is just a person who can both help and make mistakes.

I remember how I sobbed inconsolably when the doctor pronounced a verdict that perhaps one of the twins might have a serious pathology... It was terrible, especially her tone, which left no hope.

I refused the puncture, since the intervention could simply provoke a miscarriage, which meant the loss of both... The doctor was mistaken. No pathologies. But how much strength it took to endure and not think about it, to make your choice and forget until the next ultrasound.

Don't be influenced by others. Whatever happens, for the sake of the child, control yourself. This is very difficult, but it is very important.

If mom fell

During pregnancy, coordination is impaired to some extent in all women, and spring ice does not contribute to stability. The conclusion is obvious - now is not the best time for racing behind minibuses and jumping through puddles, especially since the life and health of a little man is at stake. Despite the fact that most often an accidental fall does not cause any particular problems, it is better to take care.

Wear comfortable shoes with non-slip soles without heels, prefer those that provide good ankle support. Try to avoid slippery places and look carefully at your feet. If you do fall, don’t get up right away: come to your senses, evaluate where and how it hurts. Do not rely only on yourself and accept the help of others - this way you will avoid falling again.

Rise smoothly to avoid causing dizziness. Sit down on a bench, rest and go to the doctor - only he will be able to assess the seriousness of what happened and, if the situation requires it, will prescribe medications.

Night terrors

It is especially difficult to endure fear attacks at night. This is probably due to the fact that at night we, as a rule, are left in silence and alone with ourselves, even if our husband is peacefully snoring nearby.

There were times when you woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t breathe, trying to recognize the baby’s movements. And so an eternity passes. The child sleeps peacefully, and the mother begins to stir her stomach almost in hysterics. Phew, finally woke me up, oh happiness!

I began to prepare for such nightly things. I put the night light close, on the nightstand - my favorite book and a tablet with some movie, preferably funny and on an abstract topic. For some reason, the movie “Sex and the City” helped me, maybe it was vulgar, but it put me on a different wavelength very quickly. And also juice, water, dried fruits in an assortment... All you had to do was survive one painfully scary moment, and then - entertainment!

The main thing is to switch your attention as soon as possible.

A few words about the emergence of feelings of fear

As they say, know your enemy by sight. Fear is an emotion that arises naturally. In the event of any emergency, it is fear that activates our brain, helping us quickly find a solution to an unexpected problem. But all this should not develop into panic. Since this is already much more difficult to control by our mind. And how many reasons for worry do expectant mothers have? To cope with this, let's look fear in the eye, let's take a look at what can worry girls so much during this period. First, let's look at examples of concerns about pregnancy.