Harm from phones and tablets or why children need to be protected from

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Psychologist Anna Vladimirovna Serebryannaya tells how to recognize gadget addiction in a child.

I hear the question more and more often from parents:

My child is the only one in the class who does not have an iPhone (tablet, computer, game console). He begs a lot, sometimes even cries. To buy or not to buy?

For some reason, being like everyone else, being no worse than others, has become a very great value in modern society. Not so long ago, everyone was equal - no one had anything. And when someone had a scarce product, they envied this person, yes, but they didn’t feel bad about it, they didn’t come to the conclusion: “I’m the worst of all.” Things were valuable, but besides this, something else was valued: abilities, achievements, knowledge, personal qualities.

At the same time, gadgets are dangerous things. There are consequences that are quite compatible with life, although obviously undesirable, but more and more often there is a real dependence on gadgets in teenagers and children. Psychologists around the world have been trying to convey this to parents for more than one year.

The number of children who, over the years, calm themselves by playing games on a tablet, is not decreasing, but only growing.

To help you make a more informed choice regarding a new gadget for your child, I have compiled the following test. It is based on criteria for diagnosing alcohol or drug addiction in adults, but with some amendments it is also suitable for assessing gambling addiction.

I hope that the test results will help you approach this issue more consciously.

Signs of computer addiction

The addictive disease in question has a pronounced psychological nature. As with any disorder, there are a number of signs that indicate the need for treatment for Internet addiction in adolescents:

Loss of sense of time. It seems to the young man that he has been online for only 5 minutes, although he has spent more than one hour on various resources. Problems in real life only aggravate the situation - teenagers, on a subconscious level, try to hide from them in the virtual world.
Complete disregard for physiological needs. Such patients rarely experience hunger, the desire to go to the toilet or sleep. It is very important to begin timely treatment of Internet addiction in a teenager, since it negatively affects the body in a physiological aspect.
Refusal of social responsibility in real life - when a meeting with a friend is replaced by an online chat, studies fade into the background, and the patient begins to devote less and less time to other activities.

All this causes a number of psychological, social and physiological problems.

Responsible and caring parents are very sensitive to their child’s hobbies and make every effort to prevent their child from becoming addicted. Constantly being “on the other side of the monitor” has a detrimental effect on personal development and prevents the child from finding his place in society.

What should parents pay attention to first? First, you should familiarize yourself with the main signs of computer addiction:

Confinement in space. A teenager who is addicted to gadgets does not want to go out again and limits himself in communicating with peers in the real world. Over time, he practically ceases to perceive everything that happens around him. He plunges deeper and deeper into his fictional life, thereby losing touch with reality. Fortunately, the process of developing addiction is very long, so parents have an excellent opportunity to notice something is wrong in time.
Fusion syndrome. This sign can be called the most striking and indicative. The child prefers to do everything without looking up from the monitor or tablet screen. It is the “merging and sticking” effect that signals the presence of computer addiction. Don't expect your teenager to ask you for help, because he doesn't see anything wrong with spending all his time in front of a screen. But he can easily sacrifice food intake or proper sleep for the sake of his favorite game.

If we remember the “everyday symptoms” of computer addiction, then parents are strongly recommended to pay attention to the following situations:

The child spends more than three hours a day at the computer, excluding the use of the computer for homework.
The child needs the computer to constantly work in the background, so when he wakes up in the morning or returns from class, the first thing he does is run to turn it on.
A teenager has a negative attitude towards his parents’ attempts to limit his time spent at the computer; his position often takes the form of a quarrel or scandal.
A teenager’s social activity is sharply reduced, and if previously it was the norm for him to go for a walk with friends, now all his social contacts have switched to Internet platforms and instant messengers.
It is almost impossible to switch the child's attention to another activity. He is no longer interested in books, board games and sports; he only shows interest in computer entertainment.

Important

Do not treat computers with leniency in the hope that your child will not be affected by addiction. Sometimes it’s enough to let the situation get out of control for just a couple of days and end up with a lot of problems associated with craving for gadgets.

The most obvious sign of computer addiction. The child is constantly busy playing. He thinks, reads, watches videos and talks about it even when he is not playing (but takes the first opportunity to resume playing). Concentration and attention suffer, the teenager dreams of playing when he should be focused on something else (listening to the teacher, doing homework, taking a test or preparing for an exam).

As the obsession progresses, teens may completely ignore school or home responsibilities, be late for appointments, and stop spending time with friends in the real world.

Children often hide the truth about how much time they spend playing video games. Especially if the computer or game console is in the child's bedroom. He will say that he was doing his homework when in fact he spent several hours playing the game. Some people wake up at night specifically to play.

Teens and children who become addicted to video games gradually lose interest in things like sports or other hobbies they once enjoyed. Neglect of studying, if the child previously studied well, is the first sign of the harmful influence of video games.

Interest in video games gradually transforms into obsession, then addiction. If activities that were enjoyable in the past have lost their appeal for a child, it’s worth thinking about.

If a child is only interested in playing computer games, this indicates that the “habit” is becoming or has already become unhealthy. Parents must take action.

Social isolation

Teens and children who like video games are changing noticeably. Newly outgoing teens may stop spending time with friends and family. They may claim that all best friends are now on the Internet. They may appear withdrawn and antisocial. More likely to prefer video games to social interaction.

A typical chain of behavior at different stages of problem development.

When this stops working and parents impose restrictions, they can be met with aggression, hostility, name-calling, insults, and even physical violence.

Children who are forced to stop playing for a period of time become irritable. Instead of finding other things to do, calling friends or going outside, they will think about how to regain access to the computer. They will say that all classes are “boring.” It's hard to concentrate; dreams about the game get in the way.

Addiction involves using a computer or other device to escape real problems or experiences. Children escape into games from any external danger, real or imagined. Instead of solving problems, they are ignored.

In such cases, computer addiction in children and adolescents is considered as a consequence of the reasons that we discussed above.

If you remove the reasons that led to the addiction, it will most likely not affect computer addiction, because it will already exist independently.

If a child has at least one of the signs listed above, measures need to be taken.

You can’t distract a child or teenager who is addicted to a computer.

Experts believe that the negative influence of the computer and computer addiction in a teenager can be diagnosed by the following signs:

Lack of good relationships with parents. The child stops making contact with family members, is not interested in family problems, and withdraws from reality into virtual games.
Ignores “live” communication. No longer interested in joint entertainment and games in the fresh air with friends.
Ignoring other things. Study, friendship, love fade into the background. Little interest in the hobbies of classmates, final exams or the health of loved ones.
He spends all his free time at the computer. As soon as the child returns from school, he immediately sits down near the monitor. Often the child even eats at the computer, not to mention doing homework using special sites and resources.
All conversations are about only one thing. If you listen to the conversations of a child addicted to a computer, then notice that all the conversations are on the same topic: at what stage of the game did you stop and how many resources did you earn?
Avoids conversations with adults about his addiction. When you try to call your child to common sense and point out his abuse of technology, he withdraws from communication and does not recognize his addiction. He never shares with his parents what he is doing online.
He deceives to get what he wants. When a child wants a new game disc or a modern gaming joystick, he will bend over backwards to get what he wants. And if you suddenly decide to forbid you to sit at the computer, he will become cunning and dodge, just to avoid the ban.
Doesn't control time. If you ask a child addicted to computer games how much time he spent behind the monitor screen, he will not be able to answer you. Moreover, he will be very surprised by the fact that more than one hour has passed since he was immersed in the game. It seemed to him that he had been in virtual space for no more than half an hour.
Becomes secretive. The child understands that they won’t pat him on the head for spending a long time at the computer, so he begins to hide exactly how much time he devoted to virtual games today.
Nerves in response to restrictions. If you take a chance and decide to impose sanctions in the form of restricting communication with a PC, you can observe in all colors the nervous reactions of your Internet-addicted child: from tears to complete apathy or aggressive attacks on household members.
The morning starts with the computer. Before the child has time to get out of bed, he immediately goes to the monitor screen to immerse himself in the virtual world. The same thing happens after the child returns from school. All the time it is subject to communication with the electronic unit.
Refusal to carry out instructions. And the dog sits unwalked, and the flowers in the apartment dry up. And all because the computer completely absorbed my attention.
Doesn't know what to do with himself. If you decide to impose sanctions and take away your phone and tablet, your child will wander from room to room, not knowing at all what to do with himself.

What can be done?

Gadget addiction is treatable, and it is much easier to cure than, for example, alcoholism or smoking. It is much more difficult to detect it and accept that you have it. This is the case when recognizing your problem is already half of its solution. Therefore, the main thing in treating your own gadget addiction is honesty with yourself and, of course, the desire to change your life for the better. If desire and honesty are in order, then a small list of simple and effective measures will help.

Photo from the site user.vse42.ru

First, honestly evaluate the time you devote to gadgets every day over, say, the last week (the longer period you can cover, the better). The estimate should not be approximate. You need to know exactly how much time you spent and on what you spent using your smartphone, tablet or laptop. You can keep a diary and regularly write down in it when and how much time was devoted to this or that gadget.
Secondly, using your own notes, think about how you can reduce the amount of time you spend on your gadgets. And if you need them in your work, then it’s worth dividing the time when you use them out of necessity, and when you use them for entertainment and optional communication. An established daily routine can help here: clearly define for yourself when and for how long you will use the gadget for Internet surfing, viewing social networks and personal mail, and then strictly adhere to this schedule. If you find it difficult to keep yourself in check, you can ask others to remind you of the routine if you forget. As a rule, relatives, friends and colleagues do not refuse to help.
Thirdly, we strongly recommend turning off gadgets during activities and events in which they will not be useful. These moments include the lunch break and any other meal time. Even if you just want to drink a cup of tea or coffee, turn off your smartphone and enjoy the peace. Of course, you should ignore, or better yet, turn off gadgets when communicating with others. Especially during business meetings and negotiations.
Fourthly, try not to use gadgets for entertainment or empty time. Find another pleasant and useful activity: read, talk with a loved one, or do something that you have been meaning to do for a long time, but have been putting off all the time. As a last resort, you can devote time to yoga, tantra or any other method of meditation. It will definitely be healthier.
Fifthly, plan your leisure time. If possible, think thoroughly about what you will do in your free time from work and everyday worries. There are plenty of opportunities for this: go to the cinema, to the theatre, just walk the streets, go out into nature or gather friends... The main thing is that in this regard there is no time left for the gadget.
Sixth, avoid sites where you can get stuck for a long time. Most often these are game servers, social networks, various types of chats and forums.
Seventh, it’s worth agreeing with your family and friends about when you can call and write, and when it’s better not to distract you. At work, it also makes sense to develop clear rules: when to check email, what size messages should be, when it is appropriate to send them, etc.
Eighth, try to communicate more with people. At the same time, it is important to talk, and not write messages. After all, gadget addicts, among other things, lose personal communication skills. Therefore it is necessary to restore them.
And finally, ninth, keep track of how much time you managed to gain from gadgets using the previous tips. A lot of interesting discoveries await you. You will probably notice that you have begun to work harder and better, while being less tired, that you have become closer to your friends and family, and that you now easily have time to do everything that you previously did not have enough time for.

Why are computer games so popular among children and teenagers?

Video games satisfy the natural needs of children and adolescents.

A computer game is a product that is created for a specific audience, whose representatives have their own tastes and preferences. It is impossible to make a product that suits everyone. What attracts one person may be boring to another.

Now this is not a problem.

Although it is impossible to find a computer game that everyone will like, everyone can find a game that they like.

The computer games market is huge, and there is plenty to choose from.

Children of past generations played Cossack robbers, dodgeball, freezing, hide and seek and just war games. Today, children are fascinated by the possibilities of modern realistic shooters like Call of Duty, Battlefield, Counter Strike or the cartoonish Overwatch.

Kids who enjoy sports are more likely to live out their dreams of playing virtual FIFA or NBA. Fans of cars and speed will not be able to resist the NFS or Forza series.

Teens interested in fantasy and exploration are more likely to get into World of Warcraft than read Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter.

Kids who used to build with Legos can realize their ideas in Minecraft with much less effort.

And so it is in everything.

The online components of modern video games not only expand the player's capabilities. It is multiplayer computer games of any genre that are more likely to cause computer addiction in children and adolescents.

During the first video game boom of the 1980s, they were made primarily for one player. The game required a gradual increase in concentration, alertness and hand-eye coordination combined with getting the highest score (think Super Mario, Snake or Tetris).

Even then, some people became obsessed with numbers (scores), but people started talking seriously about the addiction of children or teenagers to computer games in the early 2000s, which coincided with the advent of online games.

Video games are no longer just fun for one person. Players themselves have become an integral part of highly detailed, continuously evolving, “living” virtual worlds. Gamers create their own unique characters, form alliances with other players, trade, and create their own gaming goals.

Some people like these virtual worlds more than real life. Online universes have become more than just games - they are now closer to real society with cities, currencies, classes, shops and services, stories and mythologies, and even law enforcement.

Causes of addiction

Parents

Small children can live easily without the Internet. They don't even know what it is! But there will definitely be a mommy who will turn on a cartoon on her tablet or smartphone for her beloved child!

It’s so convenient: the child is busy, the mother doesn’t need to dance next to him with a tambourine. Finally, you can drink a cup of hot (not cold) tea and get yourself in order.

Psychologists have proven that by shifting responsibilities to electronic gadgets, mothers and fathers themselves lay the foundation for children’s Internet addiction.

Inability to communicate

The modern generation prefers to do this in the virtual world. You've probably seen a team of teenagers fidgeting on a bench like sparrows.

But you can’t hear the cheerful chirping. They correspond, share quotes and favorite music on social networks, and human speech, it seems, will soon be a rarity.

Self-realization

On the World Wide Web it is much easier to feel smart and strong. To do this, you don’t need to learn math or be the life of the party - choose the game you like and dive headlong into the virtual world.

If you lose, you can always “save”. Well, in a chat under the nickname “Sexy_macho” no one recognizes a boring nerd.

Addiction, first of all, is a deviation, a disease that requires mandatory correction. But, first of all, it is necessary to understand where exactly it all began, what served as the starting point for the formation of this harmful influence.

Psychologists say that the reasons for the development of computer addiction include the following:

Lack of friends and hobbies. For a teenager, establishing himself in society without self-affirmation is not possible. Success in this case directly depends on his ability to maintain social contacts. If a child does not know how to communicate and feels awkward being surrounded by peers, then he most often seeks solace in computer games. Bright, dynamic arcade games and shooters help him take his mind off personal problems and failures. Immersing himself in the virtual world, he feels more confident and easily finds teammates in the game. As a result, everything goes to the point that the gaming space becomes a priority and more desirable for the teenager, in contrast to establishing contacts with peers.
Lack of understanding in the family. All families are different, as are the relationships within them. It’s unpleasant to admit, but not all families have mutual respect and love. It also happens that a teenager feels unwanted and unloved. In the absence of understanding and care within the family, the child’s self-esteem and self-confidence noticeably decrease. He feels resentful and angry, and therefore tries to distract himself in the only, in his opinion, accessible way - with the help of computer games. The virtual world helps him once again feel his importance and relevance, where he has many friends and like-minded people. Many parents make the fatal mistake of thinking that it would be better for him to play computer games than to get involved with bad company that will push him to smoke cigarettes and alcohol.

Important

Computer addiction is no less dangerous than alcohol and drugs. The desire to escape reality has a destructive effect on a teenager’s personality and can lead to the development of various mental disorders.

Illiterately formed employment

Often people's dependence on gadgets arises due to the huge amount of free time. By investing unrealized time resources into creating a more successful version of oneself on the Internet, a person receives the illusion of success and completely loses track of reality. Which exit? Find the child sufficient motivation to act in the real world and achieve “bonuses” in the form of real achievements.

The other side of the issue is the child’s excessive employment, which does not meet his true interests. Children are required to be athletes, artists, and musicians at the same time, supposedly to expand the scope of future life choices, but the child is unable to live with thoughts about the future. What he is doing must captivate him every minute, otherwise it will turn into a difficult routine, from which it will be possible to get out only through a bright, entertaining gadget that does not require anything in return.

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What psychological and social problems are associated with video game addiction among adolescents and children?

And so it is in everything.

Video games give children what they need at a given time.

For example, the possibility:

exploring and developing your interests in detail in a more attractive and visually stimulating format;
try yourself in a new role or in the form of a real character unlike yourself;
experiment with things that are (yet) difficult or impossible to implement in the real world; spend less resources on a hobby than in real life.

And much more!

A teenager’s involvement in a computer game is enhanced through social connections, along with which appear obligations to other players—teammates or clan.

List of popular reasons that lead to computer addiction.

If you've read the article on computer addiction, you know that the amount of time a child spends playing video games is not always a good guide. The signs of computer addiction in children and adults are no different, but can manifest themselves in different ways.

The more a child or teen plays, the more likely they are to play too much. The extreme cases of video game addiction in children are clear, with some spending more than 60 hours a week playing video games.

Given the possibility of restrictions on computer use, computer addiction in children and adolescents will be indicated not by how much time they spend playing games, but by how important computer games are to them.

Parents usually become concerned when a child starts playing 15 to 30 hours a week. It is addiction?

Find out how playing video games affects other areas of a young person's life.

Is your studies suffering? How often are conflicts with parents on this basis? Is it common for a teenager to be lazy and refuse to fulfill their parents’ requests? Neglects household responsibilities? Does he sleep well? Shows interest in other activities or hobbies? What about real friends who aren't gamers?

The assumption that computer games have a negative impact on academic success has not been confirmed. Research has found no relationship between periodic play sessions and visible changes in children's academic performance.

Is computer addiction an independent phenomenon or is it a symptom of more serious internal problems?

Can computer addiction provoke the development of real psychological or mental pathologies?

Can these phenomena exist independently of each other?

Signs of addiction in a teenager

Addiction to gadgets in teenagers may be less pronounced than in younger children (excluding advanced conditions), but it becomes more obvious the longer the child is isolated from his favorite device.

By what signs will it be easy for parents to identify the problem:

when accessing their phone or tablet, the teenager experiences excitement close to a euphoric state;
other activities and games seem uninteresting to the child;
while playing or communicating on social networks, a teenager loses track of time;
attempts by parents to confiscate the phone or limit access to it are met with active resistance and aggression from the teenager;
all conversations with a child come down to the advantages or disadvantages of his gadget, new games, news from social networks.

The child’s personal version of social division, where all people, in his opinion, are divided into two categories – the “selected” (those who have a fashionable device) and the “backward” (who do not have one) will also speak about dependence on gadgets. According to the created scheme, the child’s attitude towards others is determined.

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What are the dangers of gadget addiction?

We can talk a lot about the possible negative consequences that addiction to gadgets can lead to, but it’s still worth paying a little more attention to this issue. The most common harm, according to doctors, is visual impairment.

The Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation conducted research and came to the conclusion that many modern teenagers are susceptible to “computer vision syndrome,” which is expressed in pain in the eyes, tearing and constant headaches.

However, there are many more health problems caused by computers. According to qualified psychologists, dependence on gadgets can provoke the formation of such negative consequences as:

Problems with excess weight. A child who disappears in front of the computer refuses to go for walks in the fresh air, does not attend sports clubs, and consumes food purely mechanically and often right behind the monitor, without thinking about what is on his plate.
Weakening of the immune system, which leads to susceptibility to colds and infectious diseases.
Problems with memory, leading to loss of concentration and difficulty studying.
Insomnia and autism.

The appeal of the toy

Children's dependence on gadgets with Internet access can be explained from the point of view of several factors:

the desire to keep up with peers and keep abreast of all the new products;
the Internet allows a child to feel like someone else, more significant than he really is;
having the ability to access any information, the child receives a feeling of “initiation” into all the secrets;
a desire to diversify your life when it is impossible to do this in reality.

In young children, dependence on gadgets is formed due to the desire to get vivid impressions - to enjoy the colorful presentation of cartoons or experience an adventure in some adapted game. The life of a small child is already eventful, so he himself does not feel the need for additional stimulation of his senses, but, having gained access to a simplified version of busy time, the child is firmly “hooked” on an interesting toy.

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How to get rid of Internet addiction?

Helping a child overcome addiction is often much more difficult than helping an adult. The reason for this will be the child’s reluctance to make contact and admit that there is a problem. Most children suffering from computer addiction do not listen to the arguments of adults, believing that they specifically want to protect them from their favorite games, just to prove their superiority.

That is why it is very important, first of all, to establish trusting communication with the child. Only after this should one look for the reason that prompted the child to escape from reality. Often the reason is extremely simple - lack of self-confidence, problems communicating with peers, misunderstandings in the family. Parents have to not only find the source of the problem, but also help the child deal with the difficulties that have arisen.

To make it easier to fight computer addiction, take into account the advice of psychologists:

The first step, as mentioned above, is to recognize and admit that there is a problem. It is also worth drawing up a plan of proposed actions aimed at getting rid of such a bad habit.
Under no circumstances should you criticize, scold or physically punish a child. This approach will only worsen the current situation and alienate the child from you, forcing him to withdraw into his inner world. In addition, in fairness, it is worth noting that the blame lies not only with the child; parents who were unable or unwilling to pay due attention to their child and missed the moment that served as the reason for leaving for the gaming world also bear no less responsibility. .
Think about what your child used to be interested in. He should have his own interests and hobbies that he has previously engaged in. Share his hobbies with him, in this way you will increase the level of mutual understanding between yourself and the child and will be able to establish trusting communication, without which all your attempts to overcome addiction may not work at all.

Personal example. Is it possible to demand something that you do not do yourself? You don’t part with your smartphone, you spend your evenings in front of the TV or laptop, but you want your child to read useful books or assemble construction sets?

This is universal injustice. If you want to change the world, start with yourself. Show that there is life beyond the World Wide Web.

Offer your child an alternative: joint hikes, games, entertainment events (cinema, exhibition, zoo).

Yes, you are not interested in watching cartoons or talking about an elephant for the tenth time - but you have achieved your goal: the child is not stuck to the screen, but happily walks and is open to communication.

If your child dreams of a dog or hamster, meet him halfway. You'll reclaim at least some of your time from the computer.

Communication. Yes, the current generation has a different childhood! Instead of friends there is a computer, instead of “Cossacks-Robbers” there are virtual “Tanks”.

Nobody goes out without gadgets because it’s not fashionable. But try to convey to your child that face-to-face communication is also important.

Allow him to invite friends home, sign him up for a club or sports section, take an interest in his life.

It’s terrible when a teenager writes philosophical treatises online, but in real life he can’t put two words together.

Time limit. Try to avoid demonstrative prohibitions. Some parents will turn off the router or put a barn lock on the office - and consider the mission accomplished.

The child must understand why he cannot sit at the computer for days. Even if you really want to!

Make a schedule and hang it above your desk. Then there will be no hysterics about: “Mom, don’t turn it off! I sat down five minutes ago!”

You should not think that the child will “outgrow” this addiction. At 20 or 40 years old, he will be stuck at the computer in the same way, his priorities will just change.

Help from a psychologist. If your persuasion does not work, you need to contact a specialist.

Just make sure first that the chosen psychologist really understands what problem he is dealing with and recognizes the existence of Internet addiction.

Qualified help is necessary if, due to restrictions, the child becomes depressed, behaves restlessly, and cannot establish relationships with peers.

The danger of a categorical ban

The problem of addiction to gadgets arises when there are two extremes in approaching the problem:

in the absence of parental control and complete connivance of the bad habit;
with a strict prohibition on using the device.

And if in the first extreme case the problem is obvious and subject to careful correction, then in the second case the dependence occurs hidden and therefore is revealed suddenly and in very active manifestations.

A complete ban on gadgets is always pointless, since the child will still gain access to the device sooner or later. Knowing the position of their parents regarding the forbidden fruit, children make every effort to hide their new addiction, which only aggravates the depth of their dependent position and aggravates the situation in the family.

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