Emptiness: necessity or compulsion?
Loner syndrome is the behavior of a person who is afraid, avoids and does not like contact with most people. The exception is only the most chosen ones, although even they, if they are relatives, from time to time burden the life of our loner.
A person with loner syndrome:
- cannot work in a field where it is necessary to contact a large number of people, speak publicly, or manage a team;
- feels uncomfortable even in a permanent work team;
- usually unhappy in his personal life, as he avoids emotional intimacy;
- has no friends, at best only one closest;
- It is extremely difficult for him to experience any loss of dear people, so much so that after one emotional trauma he prefers not to get close to anyone.
Do you think such a loner is happy alone? Often one person combines loner syndrome and fear of loneliness. It is an unhealthy, painful state, when a person feels bad both in a group and alone with himself, that is called a syndrome. People who consciously limit their communication and are happy not to be disturbed again do not have this problem. They're just loners by nature.
How are things going in Russia?
Alas, the number of Russian families of one person is also increasing. Especially in large cities
From the outside, the life of single people looks relatively carefree and comfortable, if this is a conscious choice.
But, in our country, “that’s not how it is done” and caring relatives, parents, and friends are trying their best to find candidates for the vacancy of a husband or wife.
And this is understandable, because we were taught that “a man is obliged to build a house, plant a tree and give birth to a son,” and a woman who does not have a husband and children seems to be not a woman at all. “And in old age there will be no one to give a glass of water...” Unfortunately, this is true, although perhaps you won’t even want to drink it...
In developed countries, a solid bank account, health insurance and a comfortable nursing home can become a “glass of water in old age”, but Russia is far from this...
Why do loners appear in life?
Very often - forced! Especially women... After all, getting married (especially remarried) is quite difficult. And many women simply abandon the thought of marriage, directing their efforts to career growth, raising children, if they have any, and preferring open relationships with the opposite sex, since it is easier to find a partner than a husband.
The novelist Maria Corelli explains her unmarried state:
“I have never been married only because there was no need for it. All my life I have been surrounded by three creatures who are no different from ordinary men. I have a dog who grumbles in the morning. A parrot who swears all day and a cat who always comes home after midnight.”
Reasons for fear of communication
Psychologists who study this behavior agree on one thing: the reason for the development of loner syndrome begins in childhood, when the child sorely lacked the attention of his parents. The reason may be some tragic event or a regular lack of attention, it does not matter.
The sudden loss of someone close can cause a child to experience too much emotion and subsequent fear of surviving such a loss.
The most common option: single-parent family and busy parents. How is it, not a complete family and busy parents? Having experienced rejection from loved ones, a child is not able to objectively understand why mom or dad leave early and come home late from work, why they are tired and don’t want to play.
Unfortunately, it happens that they always have time to scold their child. In such circumstances, the child gradually develops a behavioral stereotype: it is better to be alone than with his parents. Then no one scolds, controls, or demands anything from him.
If adults themselves are not able to provide support to their children, then the child also gets used to relying more on himself than on his elders. Parents of their parents - this sometimes happens in an incomplete family, when a child takes on non-childish tasks because the infantile parent is not able to be responsible for himself. By enduring this excessive burden, children develop the idea that they can only rely on themselves. Subsequently, they are afraid of any addiction, which is subconsciously associated with a difficult childhood.
The constant lack of reliable support, close and warm communication, the inability to establish contact ultimately leads to the fact that a person cannot integrate into public life, be it at school, college, work or family.
Loner - schizoid character
Loner - schizoid character
Hades has a predisposition to loneliness. If circumstances and people encourage his tendency to distrust others and consider himself unfit for a competitive world, he tends to withdraw into himself. He does not reveal his worldview and reactions. There is a certain emotional emptiness in his life, a lack of relationships and emotional spontaneity. Those around him do not even try to disturb his privacy, since he silently lets them know or even says out loud: “Leave me alone!” As a loner, he can live in an inner world closed from everyone - living a schizoid life based on a stable but limited psychological disorder.
Schizoid type First of all, let us note the core of the type, which has already been discussed, the very nature of the connection “person - the outside world.” The core of the type is an inward focus, it is a weak, loose connection with the outside world. The main thing that guides a person of this type - it is his
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My Golden Loner! If you have a Robinson man, it's a pity that you are not a book or a penknife. He usually reads uncontrollably. Knows a lot. When you are with him, he talks condescendingly, lectures. This is the source of eternal uncertainty in your life. But if you've read it, go ahead.
My Golden Loner! If you have a Robinson man, it's a pity that you are not a book or a penknife. He usually reads uncontrollably. Knows a lot. When you are with him, he talks condescendingly, lectures. This is the source of eternal uncertainty in your life. But if you've read it, go ahead.
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Schizoid character People who are unsociable and afraid of emotional connections are considered schizoid in nature. This is not a threshold of schizophrenia, but a personality structure; This is a person who wants to live without responsibilities, and therefore gives the impression of a cold and
Source: Loner - schizoid character Loner - schizoid character Hades has a predisposition to loneliness. If circumstances and people encourage his tendency to distrust others and consider himself unadapted to the world, https://psy.wikireading.ru/38248
How to recognize someone else?
Any rapprochement causes a person with loner syndrome discomfort, anxiety, and fear of experiencing rejection. Such a person would rather end the relationship himself than allow himself to experience something like this again.
He sees “hints” of the collapse of relationships in every little thing.
Pessimism and readiness for failure are faithful companions of a carrier of loner syndrome.
If a relationship does arise, then such a person will be more closed emotionally than he will repeatedly confuse his partner.
His need for personal space and solitude is much greater than that of others; attempts to caress and console him at a time when he needs solitude will cause the opposite reaction.
He will not arrange a life together, which is what his second partner naturally expects from him. Unconsciously, a loner will divide the common sphere of existence into his own and someone else’s.
All of the above does not mean that such a person does not need anyone or that he is not able to live in a family. It just has its own characteristics that you have to adapt to.
Conclusion: such a person is difficult to tame - and who would be without their “cockroaches”? But with understanding and desire, everything is possible.
The advantage of living together with such people is that over time they begin to deeply value their partner. Loners are more likely to become devoted life partners than sociable and outgoing people.
Cause or effect?
Very often, loner syndrome coexists with an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. A person who is not confident in himself always thinks that everyone can see his real or fictitious shortcomings, they attract attention to themselves, cause condemnation and ridicule from other people.
Find out how much valerian you need to calm down
How not to procrastinate.
And how to treat depression yourself: //kak-izbavitsya-ot-depressii-uchimsya-upravlyat-svoej-zhiznyu
In fact, most people around are busy with their own affairs. And how biased self-image can be was clearly demonstrated in the British show “How To Look Good Naked,” when a woman who considers herself plump estimates her size to be three to four sizes larger than she actually is.
Low self-esteem is a person's worst enemy. It turns even a casually thrown word into a cause for suffering, from which overly generalizing and tragic conclusions are drawn. The life of such people is like living with the skin removed, when any, even the most harmless touch is perceived by them as an electric shock. You can really sympathize with them.