Is it possible to change your character, and how?
Movie "Jeri's Game"
A person can have several characters for different situations.
Is it possible for a person to change his character? Yes and no. Theoretically it is possible, practically it is not very realistic. That is, it is possible, but it is not an easy matter. Since few people seriously set such a task, and no one was taught how to work on themselves competently, then usually there are no results from this activity. As a result, most experts state that the character does not change.
Actually this is not true. And sometimes it’s not like that at all. Character changes! A person’s character is, first of all, his habits; it is his typical way of thinking, behaving and reacting. Character is not given to a person along with genes in a ready-made form from birth: it also depends on upbringing, environment, education and many other factors.
A person’s character changes naturally, on its own, throughout life, primarily depending on age. Childish spontaneity of response is replaced by youthful impetuosity, which after a dozen or two years calms down in adult prudence. Also, character tends to become less positive with age... and downright negative in old age (see Emotional Tone Scale).
In addition, a person’s character changes depending on the situation in which the person finds himself. The most melancholic person, at the sight of an approaching tsunami wave, will rush away from it with the cheerfulness of a choleric person. At work, a person may have one personality - for example, energetic and collected. At home, the same person’s character may change, concentration may change to absent-mindedness, energy to laziness. Even the most cheerful person, if something hurts, his character, as a rule, becomes somewhat lethargic and sad.
A more important and interesting question is: can a person change his character himself? If by this we mean whether, in the right situation, a person can act not in a manner quite familiar to him (for example, sluggishly, uncollectedly and unconfidently), but as required (for example, collectedly, energetically and boldly), then most often, with the exception of very severe cases, this is an absolutely real thing. Character is not a rigid system, it only determines the tendency to act one way or another, and the phrase: “This is my character!” - nothing more than an excuse. You can change not only your character, you can even change your temperament - do you know this?
It’s another matter if by changing one’s character one means a more serious task: to change one’s way of acting not situationally, but systematically, to begin to act in a different style, not only in a given situation, but in life in general. Specifically, if someone’s character is too harsh, the person is touchy and unrestrained: is it possible to correct such a character? How realistic is this? - There is no definite answer here. For some it's real. For most - to a small extent.
Film "The Human Mind"
Sean Carroll began to train restraint, conquered attacks of rage and changed his character.
Character is a set of habits, and habits can be changed. If you set yourself this task and start training calm reactions, you will succeed.
Watch the video - this is a document. Sean Carroll changed his character from an explosive, angry person to a more thoughtful and restrained one. He achieved this in three months. Please note: Sean Carroll's behavior was videotaped and was actually very helpful. He knew that TV crews were filming the experiment with him, his wife regularly asked about his successes, every evening he copied the data from the video onto his flash drive... The situation was built in such a way that Sean did not forget about his intention, and this is what helped him. He didn’t forget - he did it - he succeeded. What will you do to ensure that you remember your intention to respond in a more contained, calmer way?
The ability to permanently and significantly change your character depends on several points. It depends on age: the younger a person is, the fewer fixed patterns there are and the easier it is to change one’s character. It also depends on individual, congenital characteristics. There are people who have an innate ability to easily change themselves and their character, and there are people who have an innately fixed character that can hardly change. We are all different. There are a large number of people who do not change their character simply because they are convinced: “Character cannot be changed!” And most importantly, what the changeability of our character depends on is the ability to change ourselves. Those who know how to change themselves change themselves more easily and more often.
Character, like habitual behavior, can be changed. How? Copying the behavior of other people is the simplest and most natural way. Since childhood, we learn by copying and imitating - we learn to walk, talk, react. It is complicated by the fact that there must be exactly the person nearby whom you want to copy - and this is not always the case. And if this happens and there is such a wonderful person next to you, take advantage of the opportunity!
For example, I am irritable - I watch with interest how other people in a similar situation use their heads and act calmly. I watch and learn, copying their character traits for myself. You can start by copying the gaits of other people: the fact is that gait and character are connected. It’s easy to tell about many of a person’s traits based on their gait; on the other hand, by changing your gait, you can (and should) gradually change (improve) your character.
If it is difficult to find a person next to you whose character traits you would like to copy, look for the right types in books, films, and finally come up with one. Imagine and ask yourself more often, how should the ideal person for you behave in this situation? What will he say? What will he feel? Once again: character is a collection of habits, so your task is to acquire new, good habits to replace the old ones. And in general, study the topic How to work on yourself. You can do it!
How to change your appearance?
When it comes to women, the first thing that comes to mind is getting a bob haircut. There are no such clichés regarding men, probably due to their greater endurance and constancy in this matter.
Here are some universal methods:
- No matter how trivial it may sound, one of the measures is really changing your hairstyle
. It is advisable to contact a good stylist who will select for you something original and appropriate to your state of mind; - For men - grow/shave a beard
, for women -
change makeup
; - Change your clothing style
. If you have always worn loose clothes, then put on a business suit; if you preferred subdued tones, then it’s time for bright styles with unusual prints; - Start wearing glasses
with regular lenses. It is very important to choose the right frame. If you already wear them, then vice versa - switch to contact lenses or get laser vision correction; - Get a tan
. Artificial or natural - it doesn't matter.
Try something new and experiment until you feel that you have found something that matches your inner urge to change your appearance.
Work on your figure
On the path to beauty, the first thing you should do is correct your figure. Often women are dissatisfied with themselves, they want to pump up their hips and lift their breasts. All these problems can be solved with exercise.
Visiting a fitness club with a trainer or working out on your own is the woman’s choice. In this case, systematicity is important. You need to train regularly and exactly according to the instructions. In just two weeks you can feel the first results, which will inspire you to further exploits.
It is not forbidden to go on a diet. It shouldn't be long. Make sure your diet includes plenty of vegetables and fruits. Eat different nuts, dried fruits, eat fish. Drink enough water.
How to behave in boutiques?
Women who are thinking about how to change themselves externally in a week need to start shopping. With the help of clothes you can not only hide figure flaws, but also radically change your image. Every woman should have clothes in different styles and for every occasion in her wardrobe.
There is no need to be shy or feel insecure in the store. All complexes should remain in the past, well, or at least beyond the threshold of the boutique. They don’t charge money for trying on, so it’s worth experimenting and trying on even those options that previously seemed completely unacceptable. Often in the process, a woman begins to evaluate herself and her body differently, her self-esteem increases and self-confidence appears. And this is the main secret of success. A woman who loves herself delights men and makes their hearts beat faster.
Factors that make up character
To understand whether character can be changed, we must find out what shapes it. Once again we are faced with the question of nature versus nurture . Is our character formed by genes (nature) or by our upbringing, environment, and experiences (nurture)? In the past, theorists and philosophers often took a one-against-the-other stance and argued for either the primacy of nature or the importance of nurture, but today most thinkers would agree that it is ultimately a mixture of both forces that shapes our personalities.
Dweck gives the example of two twin boys who were separated at birth and raised separately. As adults, both men married women with the same first name, shared the same hobbies, and had the same level of certain characteristic traits (as measured by special personality tests. This example shows that our characters, unfortunately, are not under our control . Instead of confirming that our characters are shaped by our environment and unique experiences, these twins indicate that the main strength lies in our genetic code . This genetic code influences us and our character. Genetics is incredibly important, but other research also shows that our upbringing and even our culture interacts with genetic patterns to shape who we are.
How to change beyond recognition?
Drastic changes require drastic measures. Here's what you can do besides plastic surgery:
- Change job. If you are currently working in an office, then go to work in a mine or in the Far North. Such drastic changes will certainly affect your appearance and even your health;
- Tattoos and facial piercings. Some consider it not aesthetically pleasing, but the degree of unrecognizability is quite high;
- Change your hair color or start using a wig. Moreover, the color should be quite radical, and the wig extravagant;
- Make crowns for teeth from gold and diamonds. Nowadays they can be seen not only among rappers, but also among pop singers.
No matter how far you go, remember: first of all, a person must accept and love himself. If no metamorphoses contribute to this postulate, then you need to stop and deal with your psychological problems.
In this video, Anastasia Epifanova will show you how and with what you can change your appearance beyond recognition:
There comes a time in every person's life when he wants change. You can change yourself for the better endlessly, because there is no limit to perfection. The desire for change has a positive effect on both a person’s character and his attitude towards the world around him. There may be many reasons for such a desire, but to achieve success, you need to not lie to yourself. It is necessary to clearly understand what exactly irritates and causes a feeling of dissatisfaction. By eliminating the sources of anxiety, a person finds harmony and becomes happy.
When thinking about how to change yourself externally, you first need to tune in to a positive mood. Any changes begin from within; only they can change your worldview and attitude towards life.
Can an adult change his character?
After reaching thirty years of age, dramatic changes in character occur extremely rarely, but still it is never too late to change yourself. At any point in life, a person can influence those traits of his character that he does not like; there are many methods for this, but the main thing is that the decision to change must be voluntary and conscious.
In such a situation, a systematic approach will greatly help. On a separate piece of paper, you need to write down those character traits that cause irritation, and opposite each one, write down exactly how they manifest themselves. Having weighed everything written, it will be much easier for a person to control himself and prevent future unwanted actions on his part.
The process of character formation is long, complex, and getting rid of unpleasant traits will not be easy, but it is still possible, and a person will feel especially uncomfortable during the first week after making a decision. When control over undesirable character traits becomes a habit, it will be much easier to monitor your behavior, and the person himself will not notice how his life and the lives of his loved ones will change for the better.
Does the character change?
The desire to change character is not so rare. Timid people want to be more sociable and sociable. People with hot temperaments may want to remain calm more often in emotional situations. In general, many experts agree that making real personality changes is extremely difficult. So the question becomes, if you are not happy with certain aspects of your personality, is it possible to change? Some experts, including Carol Dweck, believe that it is possible to change patterns of behavior, habits and beliefs that lie above the surface of basic characteristics (such as introversion, agreeableness), that is, it is possible to partially change your character!
Haircut and styling
You can highlight attractive facial features and hide imperfections with a haircut. It is better to hide a large forehead under bangs, and protruding ears under a bob haircut. If your face is plump, a girl should grow her hair long.
When thinking about how to change yourself externally and choose a haircut, you should not forget about the condition of your hair. Even long locks are unlikely to attract admiring glances if they are split and weakened. In this case, it is better to give preference to short haircuts or wear medium-length hair.
Today, you can purchase various hair treatment products in specialized stores. They will quickly restore shine and strength to your curls, but you should not skimp on their quality.
If a woman has thick and heavy hair, an asymmetrical, slightly careless haircut will suit her perfectly. This will make the overall image lighter and more airy. Curly hair makes it difficult to choose a haircut, but it can be easily styled using foams and mousses. Therefore, it is better to grow them out and make neat curls.
There are a lot of options on how to change yourself externally. First of all, a woman should listen to herself and her desires.
Why It’s a Mistake to Consider Personality Type as Unchangeable
We are used to asking: “Are you an extrovert or an introvert?”, “Are you choleric or sanguine?”, “Do you prefer white or red?” - as if these labels forever define a person. But a recent study on Personality Stability From Age 14 to Age 77 Years refutes this.
In 1947, educators rated 1,200 14-year-olds on six characteristics: self-confidence, perseverance, mood stability, conscientiousness, originality, and willingness to learn. After 63 years, half of the participants were tested again. The scientists asked everyone to evaluate themselves using the same criteria and get an assessment from someone close to them. As a result, there were almost no matches with the original characteristics.
According to Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, after 10 years a person becomes different. During his research, Gilbert asked The End of History Illusion people how much their interests, aspirations and values had changed over the previous decade. Participants noted significant differences. He then asked how much they thought their interests, aspirations, and values would change in the next 10 years. Most assumed it was unimportant.
It seems to us that we will remain as we are now. But the same Gilbert said: “Every person is an unfinished project who mistakenly considers himself completed.” Therein lies the problem.
