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The concept of negativism is very broad. Most often they talk about it within the framework of the topic of children and adolescents. But this symptom manifests itself in problems of all ages: crises, depression, mental disorders. Alcoholics and drug addicts often suffer from it. What is child negativism? This is when you give a child a toy, smile, and he immediately breaks it and rains down curses. Z. Freud also defined negativism as a primitive psychological defense. Since the symptom is related to age, it seems impossible to do anything about it. But children's negativism is overcome before its first manifestations begin.
The concept of negativism and its relationship with age
A negative attitude towards the surrounding reality manifests itself in three main features:
- stubbornness;
- isolation;
- coarseness.
There are also three types of negative manifestations:
- passive;
- active.
The passive type is characterized by ignoring, non-participation, inactivity, in other words, a person simply does not respond to the requests and comments of other people.
Active negativism manifests itself in verbal and physical aggression, defiance, demonstrative behavior, antisocial acts and deviant behavior. This type of negative response is often observed during adolescence.
Children's negativism is a kind of rebellion, a protest against parents, peers, and teachers. This phenomenon is often observed during age-related crises, and, as is known, childhood is rich in them like no other stage. In general, from birth to adolescence, there are 5 ages in which the crisis manifests itself:
- newborn period;
- one year old;
- 3 years of age - “I myself” crisis;
- 7 years of age;
- adolescence (from 11-15 years).
The age crisis is understood as the transition from one age to another, which is characterized by changes in the cognitive sphere, sudden changes in mood, aggressiveness, a tendency to conflict, decreased ability to work and decline in intellectual activity. Negativism is not present in all age periods of child development; it is more often observed at the age of three years and in adolescents. Thus, we can distinguish 2 phases of children's negativism:
- Phase 1 – period of 3 years;
- Phase 2 – adolescence.
With prolonged dissatisfaction of life's needs, frustration develops, which causes psychological discomfort of the individual. To compensate for this condition, a person resorts to negative emotional manifestations, physical and verbal aggression, especially in adolescence.
The very first age period in which a negative attitude towards others arises is the age of 3 years, junior preschool age. The crisis of this age has another name - “I myself,” which implies the child’s desire to act independently and choose what he wants. At the age of three, a new cognitive process begins to form - will. The child wants to perform independent actions, without the participation of adults, but most often the desires do not coincide with real possibilities, which leads to the appearance of negativism in children. The baby resists, rebels, and flatly refuses to fulfill requests, much less orders from adults. At this age, it is strictly forbidden to oppose autonomy; adults need to give the child the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts and try to act independently, taking into account common sense. If parents often oppose their child’s independent steps, this threatens that the child will stop striving to do anything on his own. The manifestation of a negative attitude towards adults is by no means a necessary phenomenon in early childhood, and in most cases depends on the characteristics of family upbringing and on the competence of parents in this matter.
At the age of 7 years, the phenomenon of negativism can also manifest itself, however, the likelihood of its occurrence is much less than at the age of 3 years and adolescence.
Adolescence itself is a very sensitive period in the life of every child; for some, the age crisis manifests itself excessively, while others hardly notice the negative aspects. Negativism in adolescents largely depends on the environment in which the child lives, on the style of family education and on the behavior of parents that children imitate. If a child is raised in a family with constant conflicts, bad habits, aggression and disrespect, then a negative attitude towards the surrounding reality will sooner or later show itself.
The crisis of adolescence manifests itself in a decrease in intellectual activity, poor concentration, decreased ability to work, sudden changes in mood, increased anxiety and aggressiveness. The negativism phase in girls may develop earlier than in boys, however, it is shorter in duration. According to the research of the famous psychologist L. S. Vygotsky, negativism in teenage girls more often manifests itself in the premenstrual period, and is often passive in nature with possible manifestations of verbal aggression. Boys themselves are by nature more aggressive, and the nature of this behavior is often physical in nature, manifested in fights. The teenager is changeable in everything: both in behavior and in emotional manifestations; some time ago he behaved demonstratively and was in high spirits, but five minutes later his mood dropped and the desire to communicate with anyone disappeared. Such children fail at school, are rude to teachers and parents, and ignore comments and requests. Negativism in adolescents lasts from several months to a year or does not appear at all; the duration depends on individual personality characteristics.
Three-year crisis: seven stars of symptoms
A child between 1 and 3 years old learns a lot - to walk, talk, and actively explore the world around him. We, adults, help him with this. But from 2.5 to 3 years old, changes begin to occur in the child - from an affectionate and docile person he turns into an obstinate and despotic creature. That is, the “3-year-old crisis” begins. Let's try to understand what happens to our child during this period, based on the book by the famous psychologist L.S. Vygotsky "Issues of child psychology."
Lev Semenovich Vygotsky in his book points out a seven-star pattern of the main symptoms of the 3-year crisis:
1.
negativism -
the child stops doing what you ask not because he does not want to do it, but because it is you (as an adult) who ask him to do it.
For example, an authoritarian adult says: “This dress is black.” And the child responded: “No, it’s white.” And when they say: “It is white.” In response: “It is black.” A social tendency is manifested here - negativism is directed against an adult who is now encouraging the child to take one or another action.
2.
stubbornness -
the baby begins to insist on his own, not because he really wants it, but because he demanded it.
For example: a child is called home from the yard, but he refuses. They give him arguments that convince him, but because he already refused earlier, he doesn’t go. The motive of stubbornness - the child is bound by his initial decision. Here the tendency of a personal attitude towards oneself is manifested.
3.
obstinacy -
expressed in childish dissatisfaction with “yes, well!”, with which the child responds to everything that is offered to him and what is done.
Here the trend is directed against the way of life, against the norms of upbringing established and developed for a child under 3 years of age.
4.
self-will -
the child strives for independence, he wants to do everything himself.
5.
protest-rebellion -
“war” with adults, when conflicts in the family become regular.
6.
despotism
- the baby quite cruelly and despotic shows his power over everyone, dictating what he will eat, what he will not eat, what he will wear and what he will not wear, whether his mother can leave home or not. That is, the child tries to return to the state that was in early childhood, when all his desires were actually fulfilled, and to become the master of the situation. Jealousy when there are other children in the family is the same tendency towards domination, despotism and power.
7.
devaluation
- a three-year-old child ceases to be interested in what was familiar and interesting before the child valued it before the three-year-old crisis (for example, he begins to swear).
Thus, the crisis of 3 years is a rebellion and protest of a child against authoritarian upbringing and an adult who offers guardianship, lifestyle and norms of behavior established during the first three years, and demands independence. And the crisis (internal change in the child’s personality) occurs as a result of a restructuring of the social relationships between the child’s personality and the people around him. And we, adults, parents, need to understand and accept that the crisis of 3 years of age is a normal phenomenon in the development and formation of a child’s personality.
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Outbursts of irritability in children
Almost every two-year-old child has them from time to time. Even in completely healthy children they happen quite often. Usually such attacks of rage begin at about one year of age and reach their peak at 2-3 years. The reason for them can be disappointment, fatigue, hunger, anger and fear.
Temperamental children, prone to stubbornness and sensitive to change, are more susceptible to them. Sometimes parents notice how a hysteria is brewing and prevent it by diverting the child’s attention. In other cases, the hysteria begins suddenly. The only thing parents can do is wait until the storm passes.
During a tantrum, it is better to be close to the child so that he does not feel his loneliness. At the same time, you should not get angry with him, threaten him with punishment, persuade him to calm down, or try hard to correct the situation. Any such reaction may cause such episodes to occur more frequently and last much longer.
When the hysteria has passed, you should switch to some pleasant activity and leave this episode in the past. Approving words spoken casually: “You did great, you calmed down quickly” will help increase the child’s self-esteem and teach him to come to his senses faster next time.
Don't forget to praise yourself for staying calm and maintaining your composure. This is not so easy to do when a two-year-old is having a tantrum.
Negativism in psychology: what is it?
The term “negativism” is used in psychology to characterize the state of a person who resists any manifestation of external influence. Attention should be paid to the fact that a rational explanation for this pattern of behavior can rarely be found. Often people suffering from negativism act contrary to their own desires. In this state, a person negatively perceives the surrounding reality and experiences an unbridled desire to commit actions that contradict generally accepted norms.
In the pedagogical sphere, this term is used to characterize an oppositional model of behavior, which manifests itself in the form of a lack of recognition of the authority of teachers. Let's look at how negativism manifests itself in various aspects of life.
Negativism (English negativism; from Latin negatio - denial) - resistance to influence
Various forms of resistance
In psychology, the phenomenon of negativism is divided into two forms of manifestation: passive and active. The active form of this behavioral model involves the manifestation of aggression and sharp resistance to attempts to influence by the public. Negativism has a close connection with nonconformism, which forces a person to perform actions that, in certain cases, are contrary to his desires. Nonconformism is a behavioral model that implies complete autonomy and sharp, conscious resistance to social pressure. The difference between these behaviors is that negativism often manifests itself in the form of unconscious actions.
The passive form of the phenomenon under consideration is characterized by a complete refusal to fulfill the demands and requests of people around. There are physiological types of manifestation of this personality disorder, which manifest themselves in the form of refusal to eat, sleep, move and contact with others. According to experts, negativism is one of the integral components of the complex of protesting behavior. In addition to negativism itself, this complex includes stubbornness, which has justified motives.
Despite the fact that stubbornness is one of the manifestations of the phenomenon under consideration, with negativism a person does not have specific motives for resisting. The only thing that connects the two manifestations of the protest behavior syndrome is the presence of common subjective factors that lead to their development.
Negativism in psychology is a condition in which a person refuses to adhere to established social foundations and norms of behavior. Such a protest has certain similarities with mutism. The term “mutism” should be understood as a mental disorder that forces a person to abandon the use of speech and gestures in order to avoid communication with others. The main difference between these conditions is that mutism manifests itself against the background of severe emotional trauma.
The final component of the complex of protesting behavior is obstinacy. Unlike negativism and stubbornness, obstinacy is aimed at various social principles, including important events or the very system of human values.
The most characteristic feature of this resistance is its groundlessness, the absence of reasonable grounds for it.
Reason for behavior change
According to experts, negativism is an integral component of complex mental disorders. These disorders include catatonic syndrome, schizophrenia, dementia and autism. Often, a person, under the influence of prolonged depression, changes his own behavior pattern towards the phenomenon in question.
If we consider negativism in a wide range of manifestations, then we can say that the main reason for its appearance is a state of frustration.
Most often, this condition occurs against the background of a long-term inability to satisfy one’s own needs. In such a state, a person negatively perceives the environment and life circumstances. Against the background of such a perception of the world around us, a person experiences psychological discomfort, which is reflected in the behavioral model.
The desire to change social foundations and refusal to comply with established norms may arise against the background of the difficulty of integration into society. The presence of this problem leads to a hypercompensatory reaction, which is triggered against the background of communication difficulties. The model of behavior in question can be expressed by furious stubbornness to any attempt to exert external pressure. If a person with the disorder in question feels that the demands of society differ significantly from his internal needs, a kind of defensive reaction will be triggered. Experts explain this fact by the fact that the individual needs freedom of expression and the ability to control his own life.
How are negativism and age related?
Before we talk about the relationship between a person’s age and his behavioral model, let’s pay attention to the question of what nonconformism is, the definition and manifestation of this condition. The term “nonconformism” should be understood as a model of behavior that implies upholding personal attitudes that directly contradict the norms established in society. A striking example of such a model of behavior are children who consider themselves to be members of various subcultures (punks, goths and other informals).
According to statistics, a person faces several age-related crises throughout his life. This period of life will mark changes in behavior patterns and perception of the world around us, which manifests itself in the form of frequent emotional swings. During an age crisis, a person exhibits increased conflict, aggressiveness and a pessimistic perception of the world around him. In most cases, negativism is an integral part of such changes in perception. Most often, the phenomenon in question is integrated into the model of human behavior under the influence of stress factors that leave the individual defenseless against external influences.
Negativism is caused by the action of psychological defense in response to influences that contradict the internal meanings of the subject
According to scientific research, the vast majority of age-related crises manifest themselves between the ages of one month and twenty years. Let's look at the most common crises:
- newborn crisis;
- crisis of the first year of life and three years;
- school crisis;
- puberty crisis.
At a more mature age, a person encounters only two types of crisis periods. Such periods include reaching middle age and psychological stress caused by retirement.
How does negativism manifest itself in childhood?
Negativism in children most often manifests itself at the age of three, since the foundation of a personal model of behavior is laid precisely at this age. Upon reaching the above age, children begin to strive for independence, which leads to the appearance of categoricalness and stubbornness. This period can best be described using the phrase “I myself.” The desire to independently explore the world is rarely accompanied by the ability to independently perform the desired actions. Against this background, frustration develops, which acts as an integral component of negativism.
Young parents should be able to distinguish between the manifestation of the phenomenon in question and ordinary disobedience. Refusal of actions that the baby does not want to perform is the norm for this age. The phenomenon under consideration manifests itself in cases where a child shows a pronounced refusal to fulfill requests voiced by adults.
Clinical picture
Negativism is a symptom of a crisis caused by the transition to a certain stage of human development. In addition, this condition is characteristic of many mental disorders. The form of manifestation of this behavior model depends on the type of negativism (passive or active), and can be expressed either by demonstrative insubordination or passive resistance. Many people suffering from this disorder often ignore the recommendations of specialists, which greatly complicates the treatment process.
Negativism most often manifests itself in children in relation to the demands of adults who do not take into account their internal needs.
Negativism manifests itself in the human behavior model in the form of the following signs:
- Difficulty creating communication connections and interacting with people around you.
- Hot temper, isolation and conflict.
- Mistrust and increased anxiety.
- A rare desire to make concessions despite one’s own opinion.
In adulthood, manifestations of negativism are very similar to nihilism. Nihilism is a certain model of worldview, which is characterized as a conscious human choice. People with negativism, unlike nihilists, do not have the ability to control their own behavior.
Experts say that it is extremely difficult to describe the internal perception of the world around a person suffering from negativism, due to the fact that this model of behavior is perceived as the norm. This disorder can be characterized as the presence of difficulties in the formation of needs and desires. Often the development of the disorder is accompanied by internal conflicts and aggression directed at oneself. In the passive form of the disorder, patients experience retardation of consciousness, bordering on indifference to events occurring around them.
How to deal with the problem
Examples of nonconformism are often found in our lives. Examples of such behavior in society can be various coups d'etat, when people who disagree with the established order try to impose their own values on society. Unlike nonconformism, negativism more often manifests itself in everyday life not related to the public. The presence of such disorders in loved ones is a good reason to contact a specialist. Only the psychological influence of an experienced doctor allows one to resolve the internal conflict, which is the root cause of pathological stubbornness.
In the case of preschool children, various mental correction methods are used, based on the format of games and fairy tales. When negativism appears in adolescence, cognitive-behavioral techniques are used. It is very important to be able to find the necessary thread that will allow you to make contact with a teenager who is isolated in his own world. In order to achieve the desired result, the child’s parents must be directly involved in the treatment. To correct behavior, you will need to use all your ingenuity, since otherwise, you may encounter an emotional barrier that the teenager will build.
It is important for parents to understand that psychological pressure exerted on a child can only lead to a worsening of the situation. Threats and physical punishment will force the child to withdraw into his own world. Experts recommend using a soft impact technique that is based on compromises. Parents should try to initiate conflicts with their children as little as possible.
The main goal of therapy is to teach the child to interact correctly with the world around him by instilling positive behavior patterns. Achieving results in changing your own behavioral model should be accompanied by praise and understanding. Positive reinforcement plays an important role for an incompletely formed psyche.
Negativism can be expressed both in the refusal to fulfill the requirements, and in the performance of actions opposite to the required
Preventive methods
Conformism and non-conformism are a kind of balance in the human model of behavior. The predominance of one aspect of this phenomenon can negatively affect the perception of the world around us. In order to prevent this mental disorder in loved ones, you should provide them with support and attention. Most often, people entering a crisis age need such support.
When carrying out prevention in children, it is important to teach them how to adapt correctly to society. Elderly people should pay special attention, since often upon reaching old age, a person loses communication ties with others. Remember that it is very important to prevent the development of frustration in a timely manner, since this condition is the main root cause of the development of negativism.
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Types of negativism
Negative perception can manifest itself in both active and passive form. Active negativism is characterized by open rejection of requests; such people do the opposite, no matter what they are asked for. It is typical for children three years old. Speech negativism occurs quite often at this time.
Little stubborn people refuse to fulfill any requests from adults and do the opposite. In adults, this type of pathology manifests itself in schizophrenia, so patients are asked to face, they turn in the opposite direction.
At the same time, negativism must be distinguished from stubbornness, since stubbornness has certain reasons, and negativism is unmotivated resistance.
Passive negativism is characterized by complete disregard for demands and requests. It is usually present in the catatonic form of schizophrenia. When trying to change the position of the patient's body, he encounters strong resistance, which arises as a result of increased muscle tone.
In addition, behavioral, communicative and deep negativism are distinguished. Behavioral is characterized by refusal to fulfill requests or acting contrary. Communicative or superficial is manifested in the outward manifestation of rejection of someone's position, but when it comes to a specific matter, such people are quite constructive, sociable and positive.
Psychological correction of children's negativism
The most effective in the psychotherapy of children's negativism is play, since this type of activity is the main one at this age. In adolescence, cognitive behavioral therapy can be used, since it is rich in a variety of trainings and, in addition to eliminating negativism itself as a phenomenon, explains the reasons for its occurrence.
For young children and preschoolers, the following types of psychotherapy are quite effective: fairy tale therapy, art therapy, sand therapy, play therapy.
Psychologists have outlined several techniques that parents can use. Let's consider the basic rules for correcting negativism in children:
How to get rid of stubbornness, how to fight? Just 4 simple tips
Learn to be flexible
If a person approaches you with an offer or request, do not rush to refuse immediately. Even if this offer is not profitable for you and the request is obviously impossible, think about what you can do for the person who contacted you as an alternative. Explain your position, express counter-wishes or suggestions.
Find good role models
As a rule, stubborn people consider themselves to be in charge, “the smartest” and irreplaceable. Therefore, you need to objectively evaluate your own achievements, and, after carefully looking around, find a worthy candidate to follow. If there is such a person, pay attention to how he communicates with people. Try to copy his manners, timbre of voice, style of behavior.
If there are no worthy examples in your environment, turn to the classics. Read memoirs of famous people, watch documentaries about them.
Children's whining
The babies of many mammal species often whine to get attention and signal that they are hungry (think of puppies, for example). This is a natural phenomenon, although at times it can get on your nerves. In the case of a newborn, you have no choice but to try to guess what the baby's cry means. However, when the baby has already learned to speak a little, it is advisable to insist that he express himself in words. Most often, it is enough to firmly and without unnecessary emotions tell him: “Tell me in words, I don’t understand your whining.” Sometimes, however, this has to be repeated for several months until the child fully understands the meaning of what was said. Remember that if you give in to whining (and the temptation to do this can be very great), then in the future it will be much more difficult for you to eradicate this habit.
Reasons for negativism
Negativism, as a character trait, can be formed under the influence of various factors. The most common are the influence of hormonal levels and genetic predisposition. At the same time, experts consider it necessary to take into account a number of the following psychological factors:
- helplessness;
- lack of strength and skills to overcome life's difficulties;
- self-affirmation;
- expression of revenge and hostility;
- lack of attention.
- thoughts about the imperfection of the world;
- tendency to worry;
- hostile attitude towards people with a positive worldview;
- ingratitude;
- the habit of living through a problem instead of looking for a way to solve it;
- motivation through negative information;
- focusing on the negative.
- fear of running into trouble;
- guilt;
- fear of losing what you have;
- dissatisfaction with your results;
- lack of personal life;
- the desire to prove something to others.
A person can independently determine the presence of this condition by the presence of the following symptoms:
Research by psychologists has made it possible to establish several factors on which negative motivation is based, among them:
When communicating with a person who shows signs of this condition, you should be careful and not openly point out to them the presence of this pathology, as they may display a defensive reaction, which will further strengthen their negative perception.
At the same time, each person is able to independently analyze his condition and not allow himself to “fall into negativism.”
How to help a negative person
Natalya Barlozhetskaya gives the following advice to parents:
- Clear boundaries of behavior. It is necessary to arrange all the “possible” and all the “impossible” situations. Their balance is very important. When there are too many restrictions, rebellion will follow.
- Subsequence. The requirements must be mandatory for everyone: children and adults. Injustice exacerbates the child’s negativism.
- Daily regime. Its importance lies in instilling a sense of order and security. When you know what will happen next, you feel more comfortable.
- Encouragement. With the abundance of responsibilities, we must not forget about the rights of the child. Encouraging a positive attitude and leading by example is the key to success.
- Chip. A little trick can be keeping a diary. Psychologist Louise Sundararajan from the Rochester Psychiatric Center has experimentally proven that journaling is calming and healing. And the creator of the expressive writing method, James Pannebaker, claims that such pastime even strengthens the immune system, improves sleep and normalizes blood pressure.
Stubborn in love
We encounter stubbornness at all stages of life: in childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. And at every level, stubbornness saps our vitality. And most of the negativity comes from stubbornness in relationships. Yours or a friend’s - it doesn’t matter. It’s just that relationships are a form of coexistence that accompanies us almost around the clock. In general, if you began to notice a shadow of donkey dementia in your relationship with a friend, then you should take a closer look at yourself (first of all!), and then at her. There is a possibility that the stubbornness of one of you will cause many years of suffering for both of you, and there will be no happy ending in the end. There are more failed relationships than happy ones.
Negativism and age
Childhood negativism first appears in children three years old. It was during this period that one of the age-related crises occurred, which was called “I myself.” Children of three years old begin to fight for their independence for the first time; they strive to prove their maturation. The age of three is characterized by such signs as whims and active rejection of parental help. Children often express objections to any proposals. In three-year-old children, a manifestation of negativism is the desire for revenge. Gradually, with the correct reaction from adults, children's negativism in a preschooler disappears.
A frequent manifestation of this condition in a preschooler is mutism - speech negativism, which is characterized by refusal of verbal communication. In this case, you should pay attention to the child’s development in order to exclude the presence of serious health problems, both mental and physical. Speech negativism is a frequent manifestation of the three-year crisis. Rarely, but it is possible for a similar condition to manifest itself at 7 years of age.
Children's negativism may indicate the presence of mental pathology or personality problems. Prolonged negativism in a preschooler requires correction and special attention from adults. Reactions of protest behavior are characteristic of adolescence. It is at this time that negativism in children becomes the cause of frequent conflicts at school and at home. Teenage negativism has a brighter color and manifests itself at the age of 15-16 years. Gradually, as they grow older, these manifestations disappear with the competent approach of parents. In some cases, behavior correction is required. For this purpose, parents of a rebellious child can seek help from a psychologist.
Currently, experts note a shift in the boundaries of age-related crises among younger generations. In this regard, the phenomena of negativism become typical for young people aged 20-22 years, which undoubtedly leaves an imprint on their socialization. Negativism can manifest itself in later life, and in older people during periods of exacerbation of personal failures. In addition, it occurs in dementia and progressive paralysis.
indepress.ru
(printed with abbreviations)
One of the striking distinctive features of the three-year crisis is the child’s negativism, stubbornness, and desire to insist on his own at all costs. Adults, as a rule, evaluate these “symptoms” only with a minus sign. Is it so? After all, negativity is present in a latent form in all personal manifestations, since without the potential of negativity there is no free will. Without the possibility of negative action, positive, normative, socially approved action is impossible. In a problem-free field, positive action loses the characteristics of a personal, internally free, individual manifestation of human essence. A three-year-old child seems to know: if he does not now break the entire system of relationships with adults, does not defend his right to act in his own way, even if this is not approved by the people around him, he will not succeed as a person. Another thing is that negative actions should not outweigh positive personal manifestations, should not become self-sufficient, should not become the only way to manifest personal individuality, replacing real creativity. In this case, a person develops destructive, deviant, even criminal behavior. Therefore, the way to resolve the crisis of three years is incredibly important for the further development of the child.
Based on materials from E. BEREZHKOVSKAYA and E. KRAVTSOVA
We have three points of view from which to analyze the crisis of three years.
Firstly, we must assume that all changes, all events occurring during this crisis, are grouped around some new formation of a transitional type. Then we must consider what kind of alternation of central and secondary lines of development occurs here. And finally, evaluate the critical age from the point of view of its zone of proximal development, i.e. relationship to the next age.
The “First Belt” of Symptoms, or the Seven Star Crisis of Three Years
Negativism
Consideration must begin with the symptoms of age. The first symptom that characterizes the onset of a crisis is the emergence of negativism. When talking about children's negativism, it must be distinguished from ordinary disobedience. With negativism, all the child’s behavior runs counter to what adults offer him. If a child does not want to do something because it is unpleasant for him (for example, he is playing, but he is forced to go to bed, but he does not want to sleep), this will not be negativism. This will be a negative reaction to the adult's demand, a reaction that is motivated by the child's strong desire.
We will call negativity such manifestations in a child’s behavior when he does not want to do something just because one of the adults suggested it, i.e. This is a reaction not to the content of the action, but to the adults’ proposal itself. Negativism includes, as a distinguishing feature from ordinary disobedience, what the child does not do because he was asked to do so. There is a kind of shift in motivations here.
A girl in her 4th year of life, with a prolonged crisis of three years and pronounced negativism, wants to be taken to a conference where children are discussed. I'm inviting a girl. But since I call her, she won't come for anything. She resists with all her might. “Well, then go to your place.” She doesn't go. “Well, come here” - she doesn’t come here either. When she is left alone, she begins to cry. She's upset that she wasn't accepted. Thus, negativism forces the child to act contrary to his affective desire. The girl would like to go, but because she was asked to do it, she will never do it.
With a sharp form of negativism, it comes to the point that you can get the opposite answer to any proposal made in an authoritative tone. For example, an adult, approaching a child, says in an authoritative tone: “This dress is black,” and receives the answer: “No, it is white.” And when they say: “It’s white,” the child replies: “No, it’s black.” The desire to contradict, the desire to do the opposite of what one is told is negativism in the proper sense of the word.
A negative reaction differs from ordinary disobedience in two significant ways. Firstly, here the social attitude, the attitude towards another person, comes to the fore. In this case, the reaction to a certain action of the child was not motivated by the content of the situation itself: whether or not the child wants to do what he is asked to do. Negativism is an act of a social nature: it is primarily addressed to the person, and not to the content of what the child is asked for. And the second significant point is the child’s new attitude towards his own affect. The child does not act directly under the influence of passion, but acts contrary to his tendency. Regarding the attitude to affect, let me remind you of early childhood before the crisis of three years. What is most characteristic of early childhood, from the point of view of all research, is the complete unity of affect and activity. The child is completely in the grip of affect, completely inside the situation. In preschool age, a motive also appears in relation to other people, which directly follows from the affect associated with other situations.
The second symptom of the three-year crisis is stubbornness. If negativism must be distinguished from ordinary stubbornness, then stubbornness must be distinguished from perseverance. For example, a child wants something and persistently strives to get it done. This is not stubbornness; this occurs even before the crisis of three years. Stubbornness is a child’s reaction when he insists on something not because he really wants it, but because he demanded it. Let's say a child is called from the yard into the house; he refuses, they give him arguments that convince him, but because he has already refused, he does not go. The motive behind stubbornness is that the child is bound by his original decision. Only this will be stubbornness.
Two things distinguish stubbornness from ordinary persistence. The first point is common with negativism and has to do with motivation. If a child insists on what he now wants, this will not be stubbornness. For example, he loves sledding and therefore will strive to be in the yard all day.
And the second point. If negativism is characterized by a social tendency, i.e. a child does something opposite to what adults tell him, then here, with stubbornness, a tendency towards himself is characteristic. It cannot be said that a child freely moves from one affect to another, no, he does this only because he said so, he sticks to it. We have a different relationship of motivations to the child’s own personality than before the crisis.
Obstinacy and self-will
The third symptom is considered so central to age that the entire critical age is called the “age of obstinacy.”
Obstinacy differs from negativism in that it is impersonal. Negativism is always directed against the adult who is now encouraging the child to take one action or another. And obstinacy is, rather, directed against the norms of upbringing established for the child, against the way of life; it is expressed in a kind of childish discontent, causing “come on!”, with which the child responds to everything that is offered to him and what is done. Here, an obstinate attitude is reflected not in relation to a person, but in relation to the entire way of life that developed before the age of three, in relation to the norms that are proposed, to the toys that were previously of interest. Obstinacy differs from stubbornness in that it is directed outward, in relation to the external, and is caused by the desire to insist on one’s own desire.
Before the crisis, the child was caressed, obedient, he was led by the hand, and suddenly he becomes an obstinate creature who is dissatisfied with everything. This is the opposite of a silky, smooth, soft child, this is something that constantly resists what is done to it.
Obstinacy differs from the child’s usual lack of compliance in that it is biased. The child rebels, his dissatisfaction, causing “come on!” tendentious in the sense that it is actually imbued with a hidden rebellion against what the child has dealt with before.
There remains a fourth symptom - self-will, self-will. It lies in the child’s tendency towards independence. This didn't happen before. Now the child wants to do everything himself.
Minor symptoms of seven stars
Of the symptoms of the analyzed crisis, three more are indicated, but they are of secondary importance. The first is a protest-revolt. The child’s entire behavior takes on the features of protest, as if the child is at war with those around him, in constant conflict with them. Frequent quarrels between children and parents are common. Associated with this is the symptom of devaluation. For example, in a good family a child begins to swear. S. Bühler figuratively described the horror of the family when the mother heard from the child that she was a fool, which he could not say before.
The child tries to devalue the toy, refuses it, words and terms appear in his vocabulary that mean everything bad, negative, and all this refers to things that in themselves do not bring any trouble. And finally, they also point to a dual symptom that is found differently in different families. In a family with an only child, there is a desire for despotism. The child develops a desire to exercise despotic power over others. The mother should not leave the house, she should sit in the room, as he demands. He must get everything he demands; he won’t eat it, but will eat what he wants. The child seeks thousands of ways to demonstrate power over others. The child tries to return to the state that was in early childhood, when all his desires were actually fulfilled, and to become the master of the situation. In a family with several children, this symptom is called a symptom of jealousy: towards the younger or older ones, if there are more children in the family. Here the same tendency towards domination, despotism, and power appears as a source of jealous attitude towards other children.
Symptoms of the second zone of crisis of three years
Thanks to changes in the child’s social relationships, his affective sphere, everything that is most dear to him, valuable, that affects his strongest, deepest experiences, the child enters into a number of external and internal conflicts, and very often we are dealing with neurotic reactions of children. These reactions are painful. In neuropathic children, it is precisely in the crisis of three years that we often see the appearance of neurotic reactions, for example, enuresis, i.e. bed-wetting. A child accustomed to neatness, if the crisis progresses unfavorably, often returns in this regard to the early stage. Night terrors, restless sleep and other neuropathic symptoms, sometimes severe difficulties in speech, stuttering, extreme exacerbation of negativism, stubbornness, so-called “hypobulic seizures”, i.e. a peculiar type of seizures that outwardly resemble seizures, but, in fact, are not painful seizures in the proper sense of the word (the child shakes, throws himself on the floor, knocks with his arms and legs), but represents extremely sharpened features of negativism, stubbornness, devaluation, protest , which we have already talked about.
Let me give an example from my own observations of a completely normal child with a very difficult three-year-old crisis. A child in his 4th year of life, the son of a tram conductor. Despotism manifested itself extremely sharply in the child. Everything he demanded had to be completely fulfilled. For example, when he was walking down the street with his mother, he demanded that she pick up a piece of paper lying on the ground, although he did not need the piece of paper at all. The child was brought to us with a complaint of seizures. When they refuse to fulfill his wish, he throws himself on the floor, begins to scream wildly, and beats with his hands and feet. But these are not pathological convulsions, but a form of behavior that some authors assess as a return to the reaction of infancy, when the child screams and moves his arms and legs. In the child we are observing, these are fits of impotent anger, when he is unable to protest otherwise and causes a scandal. I give this as an example of the complications of the crisis of three years, which constitute the second belt of symptoms: they do not belong to the main signs of the crisis, but represent one chain - from a difficult upbringing within the family to the state that gives neurotic, psychopathic symptoms.
What do the symptoms indicate?
Let's try to determine what events occur in the development of a child, what is the meaning, what significance do the described symptoms have.
It is not difficult to see that the crisis appears mainly due to such features that make it possible to recognize in it a kind of rebellion against authoritarian upbringing. This is like a protest of a child demanding independence, having outgrown the norms and forms of guardianship that developed at an early age.
The child, who previously did not cause worries and difficulties, now acts as a being who becomes difficult for adults. From a “baby” who was carried in his arms, he turned into a creature that was obstinate, stubborn, negative, denying, jealous or despotic, so that his entire appearance in the family immediately changed.
A child in early childhood is a being who is always in the grip of direct affective relationships with those around him with whom he is connected. In the crisis of three years, what is called a split occurs: there may be conflicts, the child may scold his mother, toys offered at the wrong moment, he may break them out of anger, a change in the affective-volitional sphere occurs, which indicates the child’s increased independence and activity . All symptoms revolve around the axis of the self and the people around it. These symptoms indicate that the child’s relationship with the people around him or with his own personality is changing.
The so-called “seven-star crisis symptoms” reveals: new features are always associated with the fact that the child begins to motivate his actions not by the content of the situation itself, but by relationships with other people. The crisis proceeds primarily as a crisis of the child’s social relations.
What changes significantly during a crisis? The child’s social position in relation to the people around him, to the authority of the mother and father. There is also a crisis of personality - “I”, i.e. a series of actions arise, the motive of which is associated with the manifestation of the child’s personality, and not with a given instant desire; the motive is differentiated from the situation. Simply put, the crisis proceeds along the axis of restructuring the social relationships of the child’s personality and the people around him.
In general, the symptoms taken together give the impression of emancipation of the child: as if earlier adults were leading him by the hand, and now he has a tendency to walk independently.
I have paid attention many times to Charles Darwin’s thought: from the moment of birth, a child is physically separated from his mother, but neither his nutrition nor movement is possible without his mother. Darwin considers this an expression of the child’s biological lack of independence (marsupials have a morphological adaptation - a pouch in which the young are placed after birth), his biological non-separation. Continuing Darwin's thought, it must be said that a child in early childhood is biologically separated, but psychologically he is not yet separated from the people around him. A child under 3 years of age is not socially separated from others, and in the crisis of three years we are dealing with a new stage of emancipation
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