Letting out emotions
I’ll say right away that the word “calm down” does not work. Especially when it is said at the peak of emotions. Yes, you can calm down long and hard, suppress anger, but then something will be the last straw. And now before us is no longer just an angry person, but an enraged one. So, if you understand that emotions have accumulated, then they need to be brought out. How to do this without causing harm (mental and physical) to yourself and others?
PS The methods have been personally tested. Their essence is the same - to reduce the jumping level of hormones.
- Hit the pillow.
- Tear up the newspaper.
- Scream. Not at someone, but into the emptiness of an endless field and forest. Release your anger.
- Clench and unclench your fists.
- Do push-ups, run, walk.
- Take a deep breath and hold your breath.
- Meditate, do auto-training, master self-regulation techniques.
- Draw.
- Dance.
- Clean up your house.
- Write your emotions, complaints, describe your condition. You can break a pen or pencil (from the force of pressure), but you must express all the pain on paper. It's good if the letter has an addressee. After this, burn the sheet.
- Draw. Any strokes, lines. Create something completely chaotic on the sheet, cross it out. Don't control the pressure. Now look. This is your anger. This black (blue) shapeless (or shaped) spot is your anger. It sits in you. What is this lump of? Grievances? Emptiness? What can this be replaced with or filled in with?
Akin to the advice to calm down is the option of counting to 10. Of course, it helps some, but more often it gives time to accelerate before the flash. Taking a deep breath is a more effective idea. The brain will be saturated with oxygen, the balance of hormones will quickly change, and you will be able to take a sober look at the situation.
Anger management
A negative emotion arises when a situation develops in such a way that something does not suit a person and there is a feeling that it can be dealt with.
Anger grows up to a certain point, after which there is either a decline until it calms down, or a sharp jump upward, manifested in the form of attacks of rage. There is such a stable expression - “choked with anger.” This condition is characterized by compression of the nerves and shortness of breath. Negative emotional outbursts during this state are always marked by a desire for physical activity: to destroy, fight, run, jump, clench your hands into fists, break. At a moment of strong anger, a bursting wave of indignation in a person, caused by an emotional outburst of dissatisfaction, rises from the pelvis upward, reaching the chest. This condition will be characterized by a hoarse, choked voice, a feeling of constriction in the chest, and coughing.
People treat the occurrence of instant anger, which is beyond a person’s control, naturally and not reprehensibly, but actions that are committed under the influence of this emotion are already condemned.
Managing anger in moments of aggression can be almost impossible, since a person, being in a state of passion, often does not understand what he is doing. At this time, it will be better if there is no one next to such an individual, since a person in aggression with a clouded mind poses a danger and can harm and even cripple the people around him.
Anger and aggression often do not last long and are short-lived. An individual in such a state quickly “boils” and also quickly “fades away.”
It is believed that if the emotion of anger is caused by a sense of justice at the time of a criminal act, then this is commendable. In other cases, negative emotion is condemned and people are advised to be more restrained and be patient.
There are interesting facts about this emotion. Male anger is perceived as a manifestation of strength, and female similar behavior is treated as irrationality and weakness.
Anger and rage are among the most dangerous emotional outbursts. When a person experiences these emotions, he often deliberately causes harm to other people, often losing control over himself, so skillfully managing anger and rage should be the primary task of individuals when negative emotions arise.
Adult personalities are often characterized by how they are able to cope with their resentment and are given the following definitions: hot, restrained, explosive, cold-blooded, hot-tempered.
Manifestations of anger are marked by specific facial expressions:
bare teeth, open mouth in height when inhaling; knitted, lowered eyebrows; widened eyes and focused attention on the object of aggression; horizontal folds on the bridge of the nose; nasal flaring
Possible reasons for the formation
Anger can be born at a person who refused to help in difficult times.
The following factors can influence the birth of attacks of anger and anger:
- when someone refuses to help, be it material support or physical, moral, then the person begins to get angry at the individual who did not provide help in difficult times;
- a person may be angry with people who gossip behind his back, condemn him, discuss him - in such a situation it is very difficult to ignore what is happening, resentment accumulates;
- ignoring is a situation when someone begins to pretend that they do not notice you, a desire is born to somehow punish this person, and anger appears;
- troubles in the family - when anger arises at loved ones, for example, at a spouse or wife, everyday difficulties;
- betrayal - when one of the partners cheats on the other, be it morally or physically;
- non-repayment of debt - when an individual asks for a loan and then does not return a penny, hatred is born towards such a person;
- problems with hormonal levels, especially in adolescence and women at the time of menopause; in such situations, attacks of aggression are not excluded;
- deviant behavior - anger is born in response to another person’s attempts to cause moral or physical harm, for example, to spread one’s hands or utter obscene language.
Permission to Feel
Why is it good to be in touch with your anger? As we said above, just because you are not aware of anger does not mean that you are not angry. Quite the contrary: due to the fact that you are not aware of your feelings, you lose the ability to control how they manifest themselves. And people who don’t feel their anger understand themselves, their needs, desires and limitations worse. To understand what we like, we need to be able to distinguish between what we don’t like at all. Any online debate is a wonderful platform to see how people struggle with poorly understood aggression
From a simple reaction - to insult another person, to get personal, to express oneself strongly - to more subtle ones - to devalue something important for others, to make a cynical remark, to troll
Anger reasons
The cause may be various diseases. Chronic anger has been linked to high blood pressure, skin conditions, headaches, and digestive problems. At the same time, this emotion is associated with some personal problems: crimes, deviant behavior, physical or emotional attacks, expression of aggression.
Many actions are committed out of anger, which people later regret. One of the reasons people suppress anger is fear of rejection. If a person is angry, then the likelihood that he will be rejected by those people towards whom the emotion is directed increases. And this fear of rejection very often appears stronger for a person than any other fear.
Does anger have advantages?
Yes! And I suggest you look at the situation differently. Stop seeing anger as an enemy. Yes, you want to get rid of it, but does it only cause harm? Consider her an advisor. She tells you sore spots, emptiness of the soul, current needs, undesirable character traits, bad habits.
Always ask yourself: why am I angry? After answering, ask the second question: can I change this? How can I change this?
Ultimately, it all comes down to one recommendation: develop and change your life, plan it, be the master of your own destiny. You will be surprised how happily you can live if:
- do what you want (this is not selfishness);
- communicate with those you want;
- change or exclude what you are not happy with;
- give up stereotypes and attempts to meet other people's expectations.
Chronic anger is a trait of unhappy people. To get rid of it, you need to become happy
But at the same time, it is important to remember that anger is natural when it manifests itself in response to situations that threaten life, health, or family. It allows us to grow, move forward, adapt and survive.
Watch the video and see how people bring pieces of good into the world every day.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=kILeROEUGLs
