Methods for relieving psychological stress
Conflicts often give rise to an emotional state in which it is difficult to think, draw conclusions, or approach creative solutions to problems. Here are some of the methods and techniques that can help you relieve tension and free yourself from irritation and anger. Choose the ones that suit you best. They will help you get through the crisis productively, and anger and irritation will leave you.
Conflicts often give rise to an emotional state in which it is difficult to think, draw conclusions, or approach creative solutions to problems.
METHODS FOR RELIEVING PSYCHOLOGICAL TENSION
- Remember that in a conflict it is not the mind that dominates in a person, but emotions, which leads to affect, when the consciousness simply turns off, and the person is not responsible for his words and actions, for which he later becomes hurt and uncomfortable. Therefore, from business communication it is necessary to eliminate judgments and assessments that infringe on the dignity of the interlocutors, patronizing judgments and assessments, ironic remarks expressed with a feeling of poorly hidden superiority or disdain.
- Strive to speak in a respectful manner. Phrases such as “I beg your pardon,” “I would be very grateful,” “If it doesn’t bother you,” prevent the opponent from forming internal resistance and relieve negative emotions.
- Strive to conduct a discussion not about the positions taken by the parties, but about the essence of the problem, based on objective criteria. Try to listen to your interlocutor, since the ability to listen is one of the criteria for sociability. When resolving a conflict situation, adhere to the following rules:
- Adhere to a multi-alternative approach and, insisting on your proposal, do not reject your partner’s proposal; it is better to ask yourself the question “Am I never wrong?” Try to listen to both proposals and see what amount of benefits and losses they will bring in the near future and then.
- Realize the significance of conflict resolution for yourself by asking the question “What will happen if a solution is not found?” This will allow you to shift the center of gravity from the relationship to the problem.
- If you and your interlocutor are irritated and aggressive, then it is necessary to reduce internal tension and “let off steam.” But venting on others is not a solution, but a trick. But if it so happens that you have lost control of yourself, try to do the only thing: shut up yourself, and don’t demand it from your partner. Avoid stating your partner’s negative emotional states.
- Invite your interlocutor to take your place and ask: “If you were in my place, what would you do?” This removes the critical attitude and switches the interlocutor from emotions to comprehension.
- Do not exaggerate your merits or show signs of superiority. Do not blame or attribute responsibility for the situation to your partner alone.
- Regardless of the results of resolving differences, try not to destroy the relationship.
Here are some of the methods and techniques that can help you relieve tension and free yourself from irritation and anger.
Switching to another activity
- associated with physical activity that requires physical exertion, due to which adrenaline is burned. So, if you are at work, do any type of activity: sort through papers; water the flowers; make tea; rearrange the table; walk several times at a fast pace along the corridor; go into the toilet room and hold your hands under cold water for 4-5 minutes; go to the window and look at the sky and trees. If you are at home, then try to go outside and run or walk at a fast pace for 10-15 minutes; take a contrast shower; wash the accumulated dishes. Try to practice this method as often as possible in those moments when you feel like you are losing self-control. Then this method will become a habit for you. Also, try to do something at least once a week that makes you happy, calms you down, and brings you satisfaction.
Visualization - mentally express your feelings and experiences or do something to the person who caused a negative reaction. It is acceptable if you cannot vent your irritation, for example, on your boss, or if you think that your anger will only worsen an already tense situation. As a result, you will achieve freedom from anger without risking anything.
“Grounding” - imagine: anger enters you from your opponent as a beam of negative energy. Then imagine how this energy is released into your feet and flows freely into the earth.
“Decreasing the opponent's height” - imagine that during communication your opponent is so reduced in height that he turns into a lump of dirt that you can step on, and his voice becomes weaker and weaker. As a result, he will seem less significant and influential.
“Mood” - take colored markers or pencils and, with a relaxed left hand, begin to draw any drawing: lines, spots, shapes, etc. Try to completely immerse yourself in your experiences, i.e. choose and draw lines in accordance with your mood, as if materializing your experiences on paper. After sketching the entire sheet of paper, turn it over and on the reverse side write 8-10 words that reflect your mood (experience). Write the words that come to mind first. Then look at the drawing again, as if reliving your state, re-read the words and energetically, with pleasure, tear it apart, crumple up the scraps and throw them in the trash. Together with the discarded drawing, you get rid of your bad mood and find peace.
“Inner Ray” - the method can be used at the initial stage of irritation, when self-control becomes impaired, psychological contact in communication disappears, and alienation appears. To complete it, you need to relax and imagine the following pictures. A light beam appears in the upper part, which moves from top to bottom and slowly illuminates the face, neck, shoulders, hands with a warm, even and pleasant light. As the beam moves, wrinkles are smoothed out, tension in the back of the head disappears, folds on the forehead are weakened, eyebrows “fall”, eyes “cool”, clamps in the corners of the lips are loosened, shoulders are lowered, and the neck and chest are freed. A bright inner ray creates the appearance of a new calm, confident and prosperous person.
“My house” (“my room”) - to implement this exercise, you need to sit down, relax and begin to build in your imagination your favorite house or room with a view of a river, lake, forest or somewhere else. Furnish it the way you want, imagine your favorite chair. Remember it and mentally go into it to rest at any time during the day. After “staying” in it for 5-7 minutes, you will feel a surge of strength.
Ask yourself: “What lessons can I learn from this situation so that I can be prepared for similar situations in the future? How can I gain self-confidence if I encounter a similar incident again?”
This approach will help you free yourself from negative emotions, as it will teach you to act competently in similar situations and avoid stress. Regular use of them will lead to the fact that anger and irritation will leave you, and the conflict situation and the opponent may seem insignificant.
They will help you move through a crisis productively and feel more balanced and calm.
Psychology of internal conflict
Many people find it shameful to admit that their psychological state is unstable - this is human psychology. They prove in every possible way that they are “normal” and prefer not to notice the signals that the subconscious sends them. As a result, the internal conflict grows to enormous proportions, and it is quite difficult to cope with it.
The psychology of internal imbalance is such that he carefully guards his “possessions.” A person does not want to delve into himself, he puts on “rose-colored glasses” and builds an invisible wall between himself and the outside world. People don’t like to admit their own psychological distress - the more they worry about it, the more territory the conflict “conquers”.& Psychology books say that it enslaves and makes a person feel worthless, unnecessary and unable to live happily.
Map of the conflict.
For more successful conflict resolution, it is advisable not only to choose a style, but also to draw up a map of the conflict, developed by H. Cornelius and S. Fair.
Its essence is as follows:
— define the conflict problem in general terms. For example, if there is a conflict over the amount of work being performed, draw up a load distribution chart; Find out who is involved in the conflict (individuals, groups, departments or organizations);
— identify the true needs and concerns of each of the main parties to the conflict.
Drawing up such a map, according to experts, will allow:
1) limit the discussion to a certain formal framework, which will greatly help avoid excessive expression of emotions, since people can restrain themselves while drawing up a map;
2) create the opportunity to jointly discuss the problem, express to people their demands and desires;
3) understand both your own point of view and the point of view of others;
4) create an atmosphere of empathy, i.e. the opportunity to see a problem through the eyes of other people and to recognize the opinions of people who previously believed that they were not understood;
5) choose new ways to resolve the conflict.
But before moving on to resolving the conflict, try to answer the following questions:
— do you want a favorable outcome;
- what you need to do to better control your emotions;
— how would you feel in the place of the conflicting parties;
— is a mediator needed to resolve the conflict;
- in what atmosphere (situation) people could better open up, find a common language and develop their own solutions.
What is intrapersonal conflict?
Intrapersonal conflict is an aggravated negative experience caused by a protracted confrontation between various structures of a person’s inner world, reflecting his contradictory connections with the outside world and preventing decision-making. Also, intrapersonal conflict is characterized by the fact that it overcomes any person, and overcomes him systematically.
Intrapersonal conflict can be either constructive or destructive. In the first case, it is an integral part of personal development, and in the second, it represents a danger to a person, because causes stress and difficult experiences, and in some cases even suicide. It is for this reason that any person should know what intrapersonal conflict is, how to define it, and also be able to resolve it.
To recognize intrapersonal conflict, it is necessary to learn to identify its main indicators (symptoms), which can manifest themselves in various areas of personal manifestation.
Causes of conflicts.
In social psychology, there is a multivariate typology of conflict depending on the criteria that are taken as a basis. So, for example, the conflict can be intrapersonal between family sympathies and the manager’s sense of duty), interpersonal (between the manager and his deputy regarding a position, a bonus between employees); between an individual and the organization to which he belongs; between organizations or groups of the same or different status. It is also possible to classify conflicts horizontally (between ordinary employees who are not subordinate to each other), vertically (between people who are subordinate to each other) and mixed, in which both are represented. The most common conflicts are vertical and mixed. On average they make up 70-80% of all others. They are also the most undesirable for a leader, since in them he is, as it were, “tied hand and foot.” The fact is that in this case, every action of the manager is considered by all employees through the prism of this conflict.
Classification according to the nature of the reasons that caused the conflict is also acceptable. It is not possible to list all the reasons for the conflict. But in general, it is caused, as R.L. Krichevsky points out in the book “If you are a leader,” by the following three groups of reasons, conditioned by:
— labor process;
- psychological characteristics of human relationships, that is, their likes and dislikes, cultural, ethnic differences between people, the actions of the leader, poor psychological communication, etc.;
- personal uniqueness of group members, for example, inability to control their emotional state, aggressiveness, lack of communication, tactlessness.
Conflicts are distinguished by their significance for the organization, as well as the method of their resolution. There are constructive and destructive conflicts. Constructive conflicts are characterized by disagreements that affect fundamental parties, problems of the life of the organization and its members, and the resolution of which takes the organization to a new higher and more effective level of development. Destructive conflicts lead to negative, often destructive actions, which sometimes develop into squabbles and other negative phenomena, which leads to a sharp decrease in the effectiveness of the group or organization.
