Verbal communication
Verbal communication is communication with words, speech, the process of exchanging information and emotional interaction between people or groups using speech. Verbal communication, in which the main thing is conveyed by speech, is distinguished from non-verbal communication, where influence occurs through intonation and changes in facial expression, through gestures, changes in posture, distance in communication and other non-verbal means.
There is a widespread belief that verbal communication is much inferior in importance to non-verbal communication, that the bulk of information between people is transmitted through intonation, facial expressions, postures and gestures - but this is not entirely true. This is quite true for interpersonal and affiliative communication, when people get to know each other and quarrel, when they share their feelings and express them, when they have fun in communication, when they engage in chatter in communication. But in business communication the situation changes, and if the manager’s order is primarily the content, and not the intonation, it is WHAT is said, and not HOW.
The most important requirement for verbal communication is clarity of content, presentation of thoughts in such a way that you can be understood. We must admit that this is not always easy: few people know how to express their thoughts clearly and clearly, immediately formulating the main thing that he (or she) wants to say. And at the same time, when one person speaks unclearly, the other (usually) listens to him inattentively, distracted, thinking about his own things or understanding him through the prism of his emotions and prejudices...
In such a situation, sometimes you just have to be surprised that people still somehow understand each other.
What should we learn to make our verbal communication better?
Let’s just list these skills, abilities and techniques that make us so happy in skilled communicators:
- The ability to speak in abstracts, clearly formulating the main idea; the art of speaking brightly and convincingly.
- The ability to listen carefully, supporting the interlocutor and hearing what he says, without being distracted by his own. A good criterion is the ability to repeat verbatim what the interlocutor has just said. Can you do it?
- The ability to hear, the ability to understand what is said. Sometimes the interlocutor speaks confusingly, starting from the end, from the side, being distracted by unnecessary things and omitting important things, and it is difficult to understand him. In this situation, you have to do most of the intellectual work for him, put things in order in what he says, look for the main thing and help the interlocutor understand his own thoughts.
- An excellent skill is an internal translator, the ability to translate the words of the interlocutor in the direction we need. Most often, a positive translator and the ability to understand the best intentions of the interlocutor help.
- We also love interesting interlocutors, and sometimes it is important for us to be interesting ourselves. How to learn this?
Definitions
Verbal communication
Verbal communication is a type of interpersonal speech communication. Can be oral and written. The main requirements are clarity of content, clarity of pronunciation and accessibility of the presentation of thoughts. Language as a system for encoding information is the most important tool of communication. With its help, a person describes various things and events, expresses his own opinion, demonstrates feelings and emotions. However, this communication tool becomes meaningful only when it is included in some activity. That is, all kinds of signs that increase the efficiency of interaction are mandatory additions to words. It is worth noting that dactylic speech, used during a “conversation” between two deaf and mute people, also belongs to the category of verbal communication. After all, gestures in it act as a replacement for letters.
Non-verbal communication
Nonverbal communication is a type of communication interaction without the use of words. It is the process of transmitting information through images, facial expressions, gestures, postures, touches, etc. That is, the human body is the instrument of such communication. It has a wide range of methods and means of messaging, including any form of self-expression. It is quite obvious that the most important condition for effective nonverbal interaction is the correct interpretation of signals. Knowing body language not only helps you better understand your interlocutor, but also allows you to predict his reaction to a subsequent statement. According to scientists, nonverbal communication accounts for more than 50% of all transmitted information. Whereas words are allocated about 7%. The intermediate link between them is occupied by sound means (voice timbre, intonation). By the way, handshakes, hugs, touches are also means of communication interaction.
Reading
Reading, as a type of communicative activity, is an analytical-synthetic process. The reader must decode the symbols written on paper, define the words so that they sound in his head, and, of course, understand the meaning of what he read.
In the first grade, when reading syllables, it is very difficult for children to concentrate on the content of the text, since most of their attention is occupied by decoding what is written in the book.
When learning foreign languages, people again go through the same stages of adaptation to written text. This is especially true for languages that use symbols that are unusual for us: Arabic, Georgian, Chinese, Berber and others.
When reading, we analyze and synthesize information, but if we are unable to generalize it, draw conclusions and make predictions, reading is not of much use. Remember when at school the teacher asked: “Did you read or remember the letters?”, and the dissatisfied student answered gloomily: “I read, but could not connect two words.”
Non-verbal communication
This type of communication not only complements verbal, but is often the main one for the interlocutor. Nonverbal communication is “body language.” And often it gives more truthful information about the feelings of the one who is talking to you. This type of communication can be expressed in several forms.
Kinesics - includes gestures (information is transmitted using hands), facial expressions (facial expressions), pantomimes (postures). Thanks to it, one can explain oneself even without words; a person’s reaction to any word or action becomes completely understandable.
The intensity of gestures can indicate the emotional state of the opponent - a large number of sudden movements indicates overexcitation and a great desire to convey certain information to the interlocutor. However, it is also necessary to take into account national character traits - representatives of some nations, for example, Finns, do not gesticulate so actively.
Facial expressions also help to understand the feelings of the interlocutor. It has been established that when the face is motionless, up to 10-15% of information is not transmitted. Therefore, it can sometimes be difficult to understand the mood of the interlocutor in a telephone conversation, or if he is in another room. The main “transmitters” of information are lips and eyebrows.
In addition, visual eye-to-eye contact carries a certain meaning. Its duration can tell about your opponent’s desire to communicate, as well as his attitude towards you. People who are interested in a conversation and have a positive attitude look into each other's eyes, while when unpleasant sensations arise, they want to look away. In addition, when a person deceives, he tries to look away. A long stare can also indicate an aggressive attitude.
Pantomime also includes gait. After all, even using it you can characterize a person and determine his mood. A person in a bad mood often walks hunched over, without looking up, looking at his feet. People in a state of anger move quickly and sharply, they have a heavy gait, while confident people usually have long strides.
The posture taken during a dialogue can also suggest the interlocutor’s reaction to what is happening.
Well-known points include closed postures, expressed in crossing the arms over the chest. A person who has taken such a position is closed to communication; he does not share your point of view.
It is important to know such nuances in order to apply, for example, in negotiations. Even if the interlocutor nods and verbally agrees with you, this does not mean that he will support your project.
In addition, it has been established that up to 1/3 of the information is not perceived by a person in a closed position. The easiest way to correct the situation is to offer the person something to pick up.
If a person’s body is turned towards the interlocutor, and his arms and legs do not cross, then he is open to communication and is in a good-natured mood. To establish contact, psychologists recommend mirroring, that is, repeating the pose, gestures and facial expressions of the interlocutor. This way you tune in to the same wavelength and it becomes easier for you to communicate.
Takeshika is another form of nonverbal communication that relies on the role of touch. Their incorrect use (not in accordance with the difference in social status, age, gender) can provoke the emergence of conflict situations.
One of the most common tactics is the handshake. It allows you to maintain or reduce the distance between opponents. A firm handshake can characterize a person as domineering and aggressive. If a person only shakes his fingertips, then he is most likely not confident in himself.
Proxemics determines the radius of the communication zone. A person allows only close people into intimate spaces (from 45 to 15 cm). The intrusion of a stranger into it may be regarded as a danger. The personal zone (45-120 cm) involves communication with friends and colleagues. Social and public zones imply a distance suitable for negotiations and public speaking.
Intonation, pitch, volume of the voice (prosody) and the addition of pauses, laughter, sighs (extralinguistics) allow us to assess the emotional state of a person.
Thanks to the information provided by the combination of nonverbal and verbal communication, you can learn a lot about a person. A qualified specialist will be able to name the age, region of residence and temperament of the interlocutor. For an ordinary person, this information is also useful - knowledge of these nuances can help establish business and personal relationships.
Elena, Korolev
The need for communication
Society was formed precisely thanks to the mutual understanding of the members of the primitive pack, because only with the help of communication could people interact, cooperate and find common solutions to complex problems that evolution organized for them.
From the point of view of nature, the human body is a weak structure, not adapted either to competition with predators for a piece of meat, or to survival in difficult weather conditions. We have no claws, no strong jaws or sharp fangs; in cold weather we freeze without clothes, since we do not have a thick undercoat.
Group action is only possible if members of the pack can agree on interaction, and for this, humanity was forced to invent language and master verbal communication.
Effective Communication Techniques:
- Feedback. “Did I understand you correctly, what did you mean when you said... (and are you retelling in your own words the meaning that was conveyed to you)?” You must show the person that you are listening to him. Nodding your head and making an “Aha” sound is simple listening. But what builds trust is active listening, where you try to understand the information being given to you. Since you listen and try to understand, it means you are not judging, especially if you just want to double-check the correctness of your understanding of what the interlocutor said.
- Agreement. If a person asks you for something, then make a promise to fulfill the request (if you, of course, agree to do so). For example, if a person asks you not to tell anyone what you hear from him, then there is nothing difficult in shutting your mouth and not divulging other people’s secrets, right? So agree on something with the other person. This will let him know that you can be trusted (if, of course, you keep your word).
- While you don't know the person, get to know them. Collect information and get to know your interlocutor if you don’t know anything about him. This requires only one thing from you - to be silent and listen to everything the other person says. You listen carefully, and it seems to your interlocutor that you are really interested in his story. You collect information, and it seems to him that you understand him. And you feel good, and the interlocutor opens up to you.
- People trust authorities more easily. How to become such a person? You just need to position yourself as an authoritative person. The authority is a specialist, he knows everything, if you follow him, you will survive.
- It's easier to trust someone who has the same values as you. People trust those who have the same life priorities, problems and values more, because they unconsciously understand that they will be understood.
- People trust those who understand them. It should be noted that understanding does not mean agreeing. You may not agree with what the person says, but if you understand their point of view, show empathy and simply show that their opinion has a right to exist, you will build trust. You may disagree, have your own opinion, but understanding that the other person has some other idea is important.
