What is philophobia

Don't part with your loved ones

The main fear that a philophobe develops is the fear of falling in love. What frightens him is that this feeling arises spontaneously, on its own, and is often completely impossible to control. Memories of previous relationships, when love made you literally turn your deepest qualities inside out, and only good ones, have a great influence. All this does not allow a person to fall in love again; he develops a kind of phobia, a fear of falling in love.

In most cases, philophobia develops after lovers break up. The longer the previous relationship was, the stronger this mental deviation may be. As a result, the soul of such a person is filled with emptiness, and then depression begins. The latter can easily be explained by disappointment in love and emotional attachment to a person who has been dear and close for a long time.

Because of this, a vulnerable person is afraid to fall in love again, to feel apathy and disappointment again after another breakup. Also characteristic in this state are auto-aggression, bitterness, resentment, irritation, a state of complete helplessness, sadness, and a significant decrease in vitality.

These painful memories provoke philophobia. Now you know what the fear of falling in love is called. A person deep inside himself is afraid to again experience the sensations associated with love withdrawal.

Causes

There is a greater chance that the causes of this condition will manifest themselves in an unsociable person. Among the common causes, psychologists identify a huge number of situations after which this disorder can begin to develop.

Signs of philophobia are that future chosen ones cannot withstand any comparison with past love, a real philophobe is not able to accept even minor deviations from the perfection that he observed in the past, compromise, and therefore subsequent relationships, becomes impossible for him.

A person who is afraid of being disappointed excludes any long-term contact with the opposite sex. The reasons may include murder within the family, rape of a woman, fear of losing one's integrity by losing a partner, growing up in a family with a cruel and indifferent stepmother or stepfather. Philophobia can even be provoked by the appearance of a younger child, who will steal the attention and care of his parents.

In adulthood, philophobia can develop in a person who is frightened by real financial responsibility for the object of his love, and in childhood it can be provoked by the departure of one of the parents from the family due to falling in love. People who have lost a child in a happy marriage often experience fear of spiritual intimacy, as well as those who are afraid of losing independence and are convinced that love can bring misfortune.

Philophobia: symptoms

It should be emphasized that the manifestations of philophobia are varied and unique for each individual. However, there is a common detail in this diversity: the obsessive fear of falling in love completely changes the characterological portrait of a person.

A person suffering from philophobia, whom everyone considered the life of the party, turns into a gloomy and gloomy loner , preferring to spend all his free time within the four walls of his native land. Or, conversely, a person distinguished by shyness and modesty, in the blink of an eye, chooses active and noisy leisure time , trying to be the center of attention of a noisy society.

With philophobia, a person can be very neat and tidy, carefully caring for his appearance and choosing an extravagant wardrobe. Or, conversely, the fear of falling in love turns a person into an unkempt little scruffy woman who is completely indifferent to her appearance.

A subject suffering from philophobia can carefully monitor their diet by eating healthy foods. Or the fear of falling in love leads to the fact that the individual begins to deliberately go hungry or eat dishes without surroundings.

Another manifestation of philophobia is a person’s attitude towards intimate relationships. One group of patients deliberately avoids sexual contact with the opposite sex. Other people with philophobia, on the contrary, actively lead a promiscuous sex life, regularly changing partners.

Individuals with philophobia also have a peculiar attitude towards family ties. Some patients avoid Hymen's bonds like fire. Other people, on the contrary, start a family with the first person they meet and have a large crowd of heirs, without experiencing any sincere feelings for their spouse.

Fictional ideal

Often, especially for an unsociable person, parents can play a certain role in this matter. The beginnings of philophobia are formed in childhood due to the father or mother, who suppress the teenager’s personality in everything, investing in his not fully formed consciousness a negative attitude towards the opposite sex. As a result, in adolescence, an ideal of a loved one begins to form, which in reality cannot be achieved. If a person’s personality has not yet been fully formed, he may not realize this, since the ideal that he forms for himself is based solely on works of art, but neither knights from medieval novels, nor Captain Arthur Gray on a ship with scarlet sails in real life can not be. However, such a collective image of an ideal companion is formed at the subconscious level, turning into a real protection from life. When a child grows up, he is not able to accept an imperfect person next to him. As a result, timidity, anxiety and difficulties during contacts, and self-doubt appear.

The occurrence of such a condition can be influenced by a change in values ​​and life guidelines, for example, changed professional interests, a new job. It is especially difficult when such a phobia develops in those who really need such a feeling. This may indicate the need to realize your inner potential.

Ultimately, philophobia dooms a person to loneliness, making him unhappy.

Phobia of insects. Causes of fear of insects

Insectophobia can develop in different age categories. From a medical point of view, there are two theories of its origin - Freudian and Behaviorist. Psychotherapists and scientists tend to favor the latter, but Freud's thoughts have recently received much more attention. Freud's theory states that phobia is a specific result of a person's excessive use of the defense mechanism of repression and transference in order to manage anxiety. Behaviorist theory says that anxiety-phobic disorder is a denying consciousness that guides the human psyche, controls his actions, inclines him to certain forms of behavior, and the body’s reaction to the environment. Factors that cause fear of contact with insects are usually divided into two types - objective and far-fetched. Objective reasons:

• Disastrous consequences after contact with insects. Most often this happens in childhood, due to the bite of a bee, spider or mosquito, the child receives shock or psychological trauma, subsequently developing fear.
• Imitation of relatives. Often our mothers, when they see a cockroach or spider, begin to squeal hysterically; seeing this picture, the baby has no choice but to repeat after the parent. Such behavior can easily harm a child’s psyche and create a phobia out of nothing.

Far-fetched reasons:

1. The fear of many patients is that they constantly think about the harm from insects; insectophobes are haunted by the thought that parasites can penetrate the nose, mouth, stomach, or even into the brain.
2. The formation of a fear of insects is facilitated not only by memorable contact with the macrocosm, but also a good and wild imagination comes into play; knowing practically nothing about insects, we proudly declare that they are dangerous enemies that destroy us.
3. The virtual and literary world plays a significant role in the formation of a phobia; also cinema, descriptions and footage depicting the terrifying and aggressive behavior of insects towards a person make him believe that this is an enemy that needs to be destroyed and feared. Parents of young patients face this most of all; it seems to children that they are the main target of insects.

Symptoms

Treatment methods and symptoms of philophobia are well known to modern psychologists who have learned to cope with this condition. It manifests itself in the appearance of panic and fear of love or falling in love. Such fear pushes a person to destroy any relationship at the initial stage.

It is a misconception to believe that this problem is familiar only to women. Philophobia is no less common in men and is also difficult to develop. What distinguishes such people is that they can feel comfortable and relaxed only with those representatives of the opposite sex with whom, in principle, they are not able to fall in love or become attached to them.

Causes and symptoms of phobia.

Falling in love arises suddenly and spontaneously, “jumping out from around the corner like a killer.” The feeling is not subject to control; no one has ever been able to make you fall in love.

The fear of falling in love is most often based on the fear of feeling all the emotions again.

There are several causes of phobia:

1. Unsuccessful past relationships. Previous experiences can be very bitter: heartbreak, pain, suffering, emotional distress. In fact, the philophobe is afraid that this time nothing good will come of it, and sooner or later he will have to feel all the “delights” of disappointment.

2. Fear of dissolving in a partner and losing your own “I”. There are cases when one of the lovers completely gave himself to the other, thereby driving himself into dependence on his loved one. This destroys a person as an individual. And your partner may simply get tired of blind devotion.

3. Care of one of the parents. If parents divorce because one of them has a new life partner, the child may perceive this as a terrible disaster, and that love brings nothing but disappointment.

4. Comparison with a past partner. If the philophobe idealized past relationships, considering his “ex” a dream come true, then the fear of falling in love will lie precisely in the fact that the new partner will not meet all the requirements.

5. Incorrect upbringing. Parents often, without realizing it, literally drive into their child a dislike for such things as communication with the opposite sex, love, and intimate relationships. And if in adolescence the first feeling hits, the child is very ashamed of it, afraid that the parents will not approve, withdraws into himself, and acquires a phobia.

The symptoms of philophobia are somewhat different from other phobias. Symptoms of fear of falling in love do not include shaky knees, excessive sweating, or lightheadedness.

The symptoms are characterized as follows:

1. Destruction of relationships. As soon as a philophobe feels attached to a person, he immediately breaks off all ties with him. It is noteworthy that the philophobe communicates slightly arrogantly with people for whom he has even the slightest positive feelings.

2. Indecisiveness. People suffering from this type of phobia resemble shy introverts. They blush, mumble, crumple.

3. Victim complex. Philophobes can feel comfortable with someone who humiliates them, despises them in every possible way and constantly yells.

If philophobia is advanced, a person can deliberately disfigure himself: cause small cuts and scars, women use provocative makeup, try to gain as much weight as possible.

What’s most interesting is that a philophobe may crave attention from a certain person, but as soon as he receives it, he immediately breaks off all contacts.

Craving for loneliness

As a result, over time, philophobes choose as partners or even spouses people who feel contempt for them and mock them. Such relationships allow them to feel relatively safe, but in most cases they still tend to be lonely.

It is not difficult to recognize a philophobe. This is a person who is closed from the outside world, who avoids even the semblance of flirting, open conversations and questions, is indecisive, constantly blushes, may stutter, feels awkward and anxious when he has to talk with representatives of the opposite sex.

The individual, as a rule, lacks the will and craving for constancy; due to the likelihood of experiencing repeated fear of loss or separation, panic develops.

Philophobia: treatment

The first step to overcoming the obsessive fear of falling in love is recognizing that there is a problem. Only by recognizing the existence of irrational fear can one begin to treat philophobia. In the treatment of this disorder, it is advisable to combine psychotherapeutic treatment with hypnosis methods.

Psychotherapeutic work is focused on educating the client about the characteristics of his condition and conveying to him genuine knowledge about the cause of philophobia. Thanks to psychotherapeutic techniques, it is possible to acquire the positive skills necessary for full interaction in society and getting rid of the fear of contacts with the opposite sex. Psychotherapeutic treatment helps to acquire an optimistic outlook on life, realistically assess the current state of affairs and make adequate plans.

It should be borne in mind that through psychotherapeutic influence it is not possible to completely eliminate philophobia, since the causes of this disorder are often hidden in the depths of the psyche - the unconscious sphere. Since access to the subconscious, which stores all the events and experiences of personal history, is impossible in the waking state due to the strict control of consciousness, it is necessary to temporarily eliminate this vigilant guard. It is possible to weaken control of consciousness and focus attention on internal processes by immersing a patient with philophobia in a hypnotic trance.

Trance, a state similar to natural sleep, opens the gates to the data of the subconscious. Staying in a trance allows you to discover the true instigator of the pathological fear of falling in love, gives you a chance to re-experience a traumatic event and interpret a previously unpleasant situation in a different way. Transforming the destructive elements of the life program into a positive style of thinking ensures that a person develops correct self-esteem and gets rid of interfering complexes.

During a hypnosis session, the doctor makes a suggestion - a special installation that motivates the patient to transform the life. Treatment with hypnosis helps the subject expand his social circle, improve relationships in the work team, and communicate without fear or doubt with members of the opposite sex. Hypnosuggestive treatment helps clear the internal space of accumulated garbage and creates fertile ground for building happy love relationships.

Treatment of philophobia with hypnosis brings a number of benefits to a person, since at the subconscious level a tool is laid that allows a person to get rid of negative character traits and gain beneficial personality traits. After a course of hypnosis, a person becomes free from the irrational fear of falling in love and freed from the shackles that prevent pleasant relationships with the opposite sex.

Today, treatment of philophobia with hypnosis is recognized by official medicine as the most effective technique for completely eliminating the abnormal fear of falling in love. Treatment with hypnosis is a painless, atraumatic, harmless procedure that is not fraught with the development of side effects and does not promise the emergence of drug addiction.

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Victim or aggression

A person suffering from this condition develops feelings of aggression or a victim complex. It is possible to determine which type a patient belongs to based on the results of psychiatric tests.

The manifestation of aggression is characterized by a feeling of one’s own wrongness, because of which a person constantly has to blame himself, and a form of auto-aggression may even appear. It is common for everyone to love, but in a particular case fear takes over the philophobe and begins to dominate him. Only psychologists can help understand such a difficult condition. The development of feelings of aggression is explained by childhood trauma or unsuccessful previous relationships.

The victim complex manifests itself in a list of corresponding emotions and feelings. This is resentment, humiliation, helplessness, sadness, regular sad memories. It is worth noting that feelings of sacrifice in women are much higher than in men. The philophobe often feels completely helpless, unable to overcome the consequences of what happened. Often he begins to unreasonably blame himself for the breakup that occurred, and gets angry for his inability to foresee the development of events in time.

Characteristic behavior

The behavior of a philophobe may seem strange to others. The consequence of this strong anomaly is not only childlessness and loneliness. People can decide to deliberately mutilate themselves.

For example, they refuse to use cosmetics, take care of themselves, and may begin to disfigure the body with burns, scars and tattoos. They drive themselves to extreme obesity, doing everything to make their appearance as repulsive as possible.

They change for the worse as individuals, showing open aggression towards those they like and treating them kindly. As a result, among their loved ones they may be known as domestic sadists who are sure that they love their partner much more than they would like.

Psychologists have even managed to establish a universal formula by which the philophobe acts. When building relationships, he chooses a partner and expects evidence of love, attention, and interest from him. But as soon as she receives them, she immediately pushes him away from her.

The importance of love

Like any mental disorder, this condition needs treatment. Only a professional can help a true philophobe.

To do this, you need to understand that a person remains social, and love for him is still an important component of life. To refuse it consciously is simply criminal. Of course, you may encounter different experiences in relationships throughout your life.

People who do not suffer from philophobia understand that they can seriously win through romantic feelings. For them, relationships become an opportunity to express themselves.

Treatment

In such a situation, the task of psychotherapists should be to convince the person that falling in love prevents him from thinking and reasoning soberly only at first. After a very short time, this passes, the emotions subside, so you should not be afraid of them so much.

Love can remove any internal pressures and solve complex problems. You need to accept with all your heart the person who gives this state, trust such a person, not forgetting about yourself as an independent and independent person.

By opening up to a new partner, a person will be able to get to know himself better and begin to improve. In this case, even negative experience is useful. Having experienced rejection, the individual begins to mature, he has the opportunity to move forward, no longer experiencing fear.

Treatment of philophobia.

People suffering from philophobia should not stuff their fear inside or try to cope with it on their own. The best way out is to seek help from a psychologist. The specialist will consider all possible causes of the phobia and options for how to overcome it.

Usually, talking therapy is used, during which the doctor clearly and clearly explains how to behave with people, and that there is nothing wrong with liking another person.

The psychologist may also advise you to spend more time in crowded places, make new acquaintances, meet, and attend some events. The internal conflict of philophobes is resolved by watching romantic films with a favorable ending.

It is worth understanding and accepting that love is an integral part of the human “I”. Almost everyone has been in a failed relationship. But you don’t need to get hung up on them; it’s better to move forward with hope and faith in people. Philophobia prevents the building of normal, adequate relationships between people, and it is best to get rid of this fear before it is too late.