The character of a person is a real book, in which there are a huge number of lost and encrypted pages. Usually we rashly judge people based on their first impression. However, it is most often deceptive. Quite a lot of time passes before we actually begin to realize what kind of person is in front of us, what really motivates him, why he behaves this way. Our attitude towards a person can change radically: bores turn into interesting people, and people who at first seemed attractive and funny to us actually turn out to be jesters from a provincial booth. Every person really wants to be loved, to build friendly relations with him, not for the sake of banal self-interest, not for the sake of any benefit, but only for his own sake. But, unfortunately, there are not always selfless people next to us. And almost all relationships between people can be called selfish to a certain extent. For example, in business relationships there is not and cannot be complete selflessness. Every person strives to receive appropriate remuneration for his work. Very often we meet people who encourage us to work for them, convincing us that it will be “interesting and useful,” or someone can talk non-stop about their own selflessness when offering their services. Both the first and second should be alarming. After all, then, more often than not, we have to pay for such “selflessness” with our time, nerves, and effort. It is better not to deal with a selfish person at all. But if, for various reasons, you are forced to communicate with him, then it is best to openly and frankly say that you do not like such a relationship. In this case, if the manipulator is interested in you as a professional and reliable employee, maybe he will try to reconsider his attitude. In both business and personal relationships, self-interest can be hidden, veiled. One of these options is when a person constantly pretends to be helpless, unable to do anything on his own. One, two, three... you simply won’t notice how he brazenly sits on your neck, and even dangles his legs, and you will always carry out his immediate duties. Another option is that the person praises you too much, constantly feigning admiration for you , treats any of your actions with excessive attention. Soon you yourself will not notice that you are no longer able to refuse him something by saying “no.” There are also very often cases when a person behaves as if he is the very best, and the duties of everyone around him are to serve him . If you notice such treatment towards yourself, just ask yourself the question: why, in fact, should you do something for this person? If you notice all of the above features in relationships with people, then you just need to learn to say “no”. Delicately, not sharply, but firmly. If a person is a true friend, then he will definitely understand your refusal. If your refusal serves as a direct reason for ending the friendly relationship, it means that the relationship was hypocritical, false, there was no friendship, and the person simply took advantage of you. As a rule, a selfless person is sociable and open. He will always listen carefully if you tell him about your problems and, if possible, will help you or at least express sympathy and give practical advice, and will not constantly focus attention only on himself. Surround yourself only with loyal and sincere people!
On the other hand, a narcissist cannot be criticized by others and is hypersensitive to criticism. If people outside the family criticize the narcissist, the narcissist will likely retaliate by telling the person sick later. With immediate family, the narcissist is more likely to respond to criticism with overtly aggressive behavior. At work, they will soon take revenge by setting the perpetrator up for failure or blaming them for something that probably wasn't their fault. Plans can often be complex.
Often a narcissist will criticize you for things that are not your fault, but in fact the narcissist is guilty of. An example of this is that a narcissist may blame you for being angry when in fact it is the narcissist who is showing signs of anger.
Hello, dear blog readers! Once again I am convinced that almost all our actions are based on selfish motives, and only occasionally do we do something selflessly. Don't agree with me? Really? Then write in the comments at least 5 selfless acts that you did over the past week. Just write really those, and not everything in a row. After all, it happens that we even donate money somewhere wanting to receive public recognition and respect as a result, and not just wanting to help.
Understanding the words
- Family Member: Why did you just lie to me?
- Narcissist: You are the one who lies.
Projection is considered one of the ego's defense mechanisms.
It involves attributing our unacceptable feelings to others. In this way, the narcissist gets rid of some of his unacceptable feelings while simultaneously elevating himself even further from others, them down through the projection of negative traits onto them. This also puts you on the defensive and therefore the narcissist is more controlling of the relationship. When a narcissist gives a lot of criticism to someone, sometimes those criticisms can reveal what the narcissist is secretly thinking or doing, or what the narcissist is secretly planning to do. Sometimes they will hold their ground even when faced with written evidence or multiple witnesses that contradict his demands. This puts you on the defensive and therefore the narcissist is more controlling of the relationship. Otherwise, he may convince you that you are crazy. So what am I talking about? Got a little lost
