Is the inferiority complex the engine of progress?

What is a “complex” in psychology?

Despite the fact that in everyday life the word “complex” in relation to a person has a very negative connotation, in psychology everything is somewhat different. This term refers to a set of attitudes, mechanisms and sensations that are formed around one specific affect. They influence life and personal development.

Basically, these processes take place at the subconscious level, even if they were formed at the conscious level. When a certain object (thought) is in the zone of consciousness, we can control and manipulate it. If this something goes into the subconscious zone, then it begins to control us. Therefore, complexes influence our lives without our consent. Affect in this case is called an emotion or emotional process.

Inferiority complex in men

From early childhood, men are taught to be protectors and providers. They try to instill in them purposefulness and ambition, but, unfortunately, in the future not every representative of the stronger sex may have the opportunity to realize their dreams. If it seems to him that he does not meet the requirements of others, then the feeling of self-doubt can transform into an inferiority complex.

As for the reasons for the development of feelings of inferiority, the most common of them are:

• Dissatisfaction with appearance. Despite the common assertion that a real man should be a little more handsome than a monkey, the issue of external attractiveness among representatives of the stronger sex is no less acute than among the weaker sex. A beer belly, a hooked nose, a lack of pumped up muscles - all this leads to the development of an inferiority complex.
• Intimate problems. Not all men can boast of sexual energy and stamina, which greatly affects their self-esteem. In the modern world, infertility and premature ejaculation have become a very common problem among men. Not feeling able to conquer his chosen one with his bed talents, the man begins to doubt himself even more.
• Unrequited love can also provoke the development of a complex, especially if the rejected woman mocks the unlucky gentleman or treats him with disdain.
• Low social status. Not all men can boast of high salaries and solid social status, but this does not mean that they have less ambition than more successful representatives of the stronger sex. If it is not possible to achieve serious heights, despite all the efforts made, then the feeling of disappointment in oneself becomes a constant companion of a man.

"Gift" from childhood

Unlike talents and abilities that are given to us from birth, an inferiority complex is an acquired thing. As a rule, the reason or environment for its acquisition is society. Do not forget that a family is also a society.

Most often, the whole bunch of negative self-destructive attitudes are born after the thoughtless words of parents or peers. It is worth adding that for a normally developing, thinking child, the words of an adult are the constitution. Until the age of 10-11, children are guided by their elders, then by their peers.

One word from a mother - “sloppy”, “ugly” or “stupid” - said to her child is equivalent to the cry of a crowd.

A word attached to a person is a seed that may not germinate for several years, but is firmly lodged in the subconscious. Under the slightest favorable condition, it will make itself felt. And that's just one word.

What to say about those cases when such statements are part of everyday communication. If you call a person a pig a hundred times, on the hundred and first he will grunt. The inferiority complex in men, as well as in women, is formed from childhood.

Prognosis and prevention

Compensation for an inferiority complex is successful when a person realizes its presence and uses the techniques offered by the psychotherapist - introspection, stopping negative thoughts, improving communication skills, accepting criticism. The basis of prevention is proper education. It is necessary to avoid excessive care, allow the child to be independent, make mistakes and treat them as experience. You cannot compare his successes with the achievements of other children, or humiliate him after failures and mistakes. It is important to teach self-analysis: after receiving a bad grade or losing a competition, you should support the child and discuss what needs to be done to get a better result in the future.

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Denying your desires

Our entire existence is driven by our desires. In newborns they are simpler and more primitive. The older a child gets, the more complex his desires and needs become.

Wants provoke certain emotions that activate our body and give us the strength to fulfill them. Initially, for any creature, personal desires are a priority. And while they move a person, he is controlled by them more than by everything else.

A child who has clearly defined needs is more likely to listen to them than to the advice of adults. At this moment, parents lose control over their child. In order not to bother themselves with thinking about why this happened, they simply pull the rug out from under them with one phrase: “Oh, what a bad boy (girl) you are.”

Sometimes this is formulated through the hint that your desires are worthless, they are irrelevant, too expensive, stupid, wrong.

Think about what the following phrases can lead to: “Your hands are from the same place,” “You’re worthless,” “It would be better if I didn’t give birth to you,” “Only a stupid person can do that,” etc.

Psychology of development and manifestations of inferiority complex

Most psychologists adhere to the idea that an inferiority complex is a complex, multifaceted and insidious disease. It is known that this pathology begins to form in early childhood and the reason for this is the child’s feeling of uselessness and uselessness.

Unfortunately, some parents, consciously or not, themselves cultivate doubts in their children about their abilities and destroy self-confidence. It is no secret that the task of parents is to instill in their children critical thinking, a sense of responsibility and determination. If a baby shows interest in something and wants to express himself, then under no circumstances should he be disturbed.

Many parents, for various reasons, themselves prevent their child from developing self-organization. For them, it is much easier to send him to the room to watch cartoons than to involve him in cleaning and cooking.

Please note: The inferiority complex is closely related to the superiority complex. Sometimes mothers and fathers indulge their children so much and extol their often mediocre successes that the child grows into a selfish adult who looks at others with disdain. There is nothing wrong with the feeling of superiority itself, because it expresses the desire for perfection inherent in almost everyone

But when it is transformed into a complex, it is expressed in the absolute confidence of its own uniqueness and perfection

There is nothing wrong with the feeling of superiority itself, because it expresses the desire for perfection inherent in almost everyone. But when it is transformed into a complex, it is expressed in the absolute confidence of its own uniqueness and perfection.

What does devaluing desires lead to?

It cannot be said that all children’s whims should be fulfilled without complaint by parents, adults or peers. This also provokes disharmonious personality development. But if you respond to every “I want” with a sharp refusal, complete with reproaches, screams, condemnation or classic ignoring, this will lead to the person growing up, but the personality in him will not, because the core that feeds on the desires and ambitions of the individual, initially broken.

It cannot be said that such a person has no future or hope for “healing.” We’ll talk about what exactly can change the mechanisms and settings below.

Devaluation of the desires and needs of the individual leads to low self-esteem and an inferiority complex. If a person’s desires are equated to zero, then he feels like a nobody.

Inferiority complex in children

Most often, children from single-parent and dysfunctional families suffer from an inferiority complex. If a child lacks affection and care from his parents, then he begins to feel a sense of uselessness and his own inferiority, considering himself unworthy of the love of his mother and father.

The problem becomes especially acute in adolescence and adolescence, when a person begins to recognize himself as an adult and goes through a period of reassessment of life priorities. Dislike becomes a strong base on which feelings of loneliness and worthlessness grow.

The most common reasons for the development of an inferiority complex in childhood include:

• Lack of affection and praise. A family does not have to be dysfunctional for a child raised in it to develop a complex. Fertile ground for its formation will be a lack of attention from parents. Hypoprotection not only provokes the development of a complex, but also causes the development of obsessive states.
• Comparison with other children. Nothing shows a child his worthlessness more than constant comparisons with more “successful” children. How can a child be confident in the love of his parents if they regularly tell him that “we need to follow the example of our neighbors’ son, because he studies so well, and also attends the chess club and is always very well-mannered.” With each new statement, the child will feel worse and worse until he finally loses faith in himself and his significance for the people closest to him.
• Overprotection cannot help in raising a strong personality, rather the opposite. Children who experience excessive care grow up to be dependent, which results in a feeling of inferiority. Overly caring parents simply suppress their child’s own “I”.
• Bullying. It is no secret that children are very cruel in their judgments and are capable of bullying someone who is very different from them. The Internet is literally replete with videos in which schoolchildren mock their classmates, humiliating and insulting them. If parents do not respond to this problem in time, the child will not only become hostage to an inferiority complex, but will also begin to show a tendency towards suicidal thoughts.

Important

Nothing can replace the love of parents. Its lack leads to embitterment and self-doubt, and excessive care leads to the development of shyness and immaturity.

How it manifests itself

Signs of an inferiority complex can be either pronounced or latent (hidden).

Sometimes one glance at a person is enough to understand whether he is satisfied with life or not. Signs of low self-esteem can be as follows: a person slouches, tilts his head all the time, speaks slurred, stutters when speaking, constantly crosses his arms over his chest, etc.

But sometimes an inferiority complex is hidden behind a bright mask of liberation, brilliance and gloss.

This problem can manifest itself in two ways. On the one hand, there is a fear of people, especially strangers, and on the other, a constant search for new acquaintances.

Since people with an inferiority complex feel worse than others, they need regular approval of their actions from others. This is easier to achieve from people you don’t know well.

Feelings of worthlessness may be accompanied by constant talking about one's imperfections or obsessive bragging. It depends on what compensation mechanism a person chooses.

An example of an inferiority complex can be a whole wardrobe of things from fashionable world brands, expensive cars or other deliberate status symbols, or a retreat into marginality. The latter is manifested by integration into a subculture, actions contrary to society.

People with this complex regularly have a self-condemnation program. Going into marginality provides an opportunity to cling to a less successful society, in which you can begin to condemn everyone else and thus assert yourself.

Departure into various deviations (both positive and negative) can also be considered a sign of an inferiority complex. Drug addiction, alcoholism and smoking are a desire to join society and not be a black sheep.

Forecasts

How to get rid of an inferiority complex? Unfortunately, it is impossible to recover completely from this psychological illness, since there is always a risk that self-flagellation mechanisms are activated when encountering an irritant. But you can muffle it, compensate or get rid of the cause.

Compensation brings only temporary satisfaction or no satisfaction at all. All actions are performed for the public, and not for oneself. The person still considers himself worse than others. At the same time, he does everything so that those around him do not suspect it, wastes his energy and receives only momentary joy.

Compensation

An inferiority complex in women, like men, is accompanied by self-flagellation and an inability to listen to one’s personal desires. This can be compared to a tasteless salad that you buy because its photo looks beautiful on Instagram.

“I want to lose weight so that I can feel more at ease” and “I want to lose weight so that I won’t be considered fat” are completely different things. In the first case you fulfill your desires, and in the other - society. In the same way, “I want to drive quickly and comfortably” and “I want a Mercedes” are two different topics. The first is self-satisfaction, the second is working for status.

Humiliation of others can also be considered compensation. Often people with an inferiority complex, in order to feel normal, do their best to look for flaws in others. Usually the range of searches is limited to those traits and characteristics that these people themselves possess. Thus, a stupid person will look for narrow-mindedness, an absent-minded person will look for absent-mindedness, a bow-legged person will look for bow-leggedness, a sloppy person will look for sloppiness, etc. And whoever looks for it always finds. By emphasizing this flaw in another, a person temporarily feels complete.

Consequences

Self-centeredness, arrogance, or being a victim are not the best qualities to have in life. A person with neurosis does not trust people; he expects betrayal, a trick, an attack. At work, he often conflicts or finds himself a scapegoat, and in his personal life he either enters into dependent relationships, where he becomes a tyrant, asserts himself at the expense of his partner, or he himself becomes a victim of a tyrant.

Other consequences of neurosis:

• phobias;
• neuroses;
• mental disorders;
• addictions;
• depression;
• suicide;
• insulation.

Working on shortcomings

You can get rid of an inferiority complex by coping with a personal (internal) reason or changing your attitude towards it.

If you feel worthless after you didn’t talk about the Pythagorean Theorem, all you need to do is learn it. If this is due to a long nose, then correcting the situation is much more difficult.

All external flaws that people look for in themselves can be corrected. In extreme cases, plastic surgery will help. Therefore, there is no need to torment yourself by savoring the mistakes nature made when creating your image.

Lifestyle change

Sometimes, to get rid of an inferiority complex, it is enough to change the environment or society. If it arose in a circle of certain people (be it family, classmates, friends or colleagues), then in this environment it will either doze or seethe, but will not disappear.

You need to make a huge effort to change yourself and change your attitude towards yourself at the same time. This is why many people get rid of their inferiority complex by leaving their family or changing their place of residence.

You need to remove yourself for some time from the sight of those people who provoke the development of complexes in you, and at the same time change yourself. This disrupts the usual mechanisms that operate in response to a stimulus.

However, returning to their “native land” often restarts the hated mechanisms.

Causes

The uniqueness of the development of an inferiority complex lies in the fact that each group, be it age, social or ethnic, has its own provoking factors. The only thing that all the reasons agree on is that they entail a stream of bad thoughts that almost paralyze the mind.

The risk group primarily includes people susceptible to neurotic disorders. If you often worry, can’t find your place, are bothered by obsessive and negative thoughts, and are too sensitive to other people’s criticism, you have an inferiority complex.

Important

Neurosis often forms in early childhood and adolescence and is characterized by asthenic, obsessive and hysterical manifestations with a temporary decrease in mental and physical performance.

Cultivating self-esteem

This strategy is chosen by strong-willed people. If I didn’t know math well at school, I’ll go to study to become a math teacher (“I’ll prove to everyone that I know this subject”). You can give many examples of compensation: “I moved poorly - I’ll become a dancer,” “I was afraid to leave my mother - I’ll become a traveler.” It’s not life, but complete compensation for such people, but passion helps get rid of the cause of the inferiority complex. Such people often become highly qualified specialists.

No lies!

As a rule, people with an inferiority complex are accustomed to lying or fantasizing. These may be trifles that do not bring any benefit, but are aimed at hiding one’s low self-esteem. There are a lot of examples of such petty lies: a girl who touches up her appearance in Photoshop, a guy who tells how he drove “his” car.

At the same time, these people are very honest in global issues. If you are experiencing these symptoms, getting rid of them may be the key to solving the problem.