Basov Pavel Igorevich
Neurologist, Reflexotherapist, Hirudotherapist. Doctor of the highest qualification category. medical experience more than 15 years.
In psychology, the concept of “aggression” means behavior aimed at causing harm to other living beings, people or animals, who do not want this. Often we ourselves become victims of other people’s attacks of aggression, and sometimes we ourselves feel the desire to cause pain - physical or mental. Why does this happen and how to deal with inner demons?
Is irritability normal?
Irritability, like anger, is an emotion. This emotion is neither bad nor good. She's normal. A person gets irritated when he is irritated. But if the irritant is insignificant, and the person gets irritated disproportionately violently, and does this with enviable consistency, the norm becomes a problem.
You can recognize an irritable person a mile away:
- “spouts” negative emotions out of the blue;
- flares up like a match in response to the slightest irritant;
- at the peak of emotions, loses control over words or actions;
- looks haggard, tired, apathetic or pessimistic;
- prone to frequent and sudden mood swings and depression.
Irritability is an unpleasant and harmful state. Everyone suffers - both the aggressor and his innocent victims. Because if a bomb exploded, those who are nearby will not think enough. And the aggressor himself will not fare well. Aggression is energy, and a flash of anger is a loss of energy. Angry man:
- feels loss of energy and loss of strength;
- feels guilty for causing harm;
- Over time he becomes depressed.
Perhaps the way out is not to show, but to suppress outbursts of anger? Unfortunately, this is not an option. Suppressed aggression will begin to destroy from the inside and manifest itself in the form of:
- gossip, slander and intrigue - “quiet” aggression;
- phobias, neuroses and other mental problems;
- self-destructive (self-destructive) behavior;
- diseases of a psychosomatic (“from nerves”) nature.
Irritability does not end well, no matter how you slice it. It can destroy your health, family, friendships, career – what do you choose? If you choose well-being, it means that you should thoroughly understand why you react this way and not otherwise.
Aggression in women
In women, violent episodes are often associated with postpartum depression. Sometimes they fail to “adapt” to the new responsibilities and roles that appear after the birth of a child. At the same time, a number of household chores are shouldered, which creates an extremely unfavorable atmosphere. In such cases, it is most reasonable to resort to a rational distribution of responsibilities and labor in the family.
Aggression in women has a good tendency to transform into something else. Various distracting hobbies and free time are helpful. Calming activities such as yoga or meditation are recommended. It would also be reasonable to give up bad habits and use of energy drinks containing caffeine.
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Question - why am I irritated?
Out of the blue, not a single homo sapiens turns into a flame-belching dragon. Irritability always has a reason. As a rule, one of two things is psychological trauma or nervous exhaustion.
Psychological trauma
The injuries usually occur during childhood. For example, parents often quarreled - they sorted things out with shouting and swearing. The child was impressed, and the loud speech became preserved in the psyche as a trigger. The child grew up, but the “canned food” remained in his head. And now any loud sounds (children making noise) cause a violent reaction. As a rule, this reaction cannot be controlled. A person may understand the absurdity of his behavior, but he cannot do anything - the psychotrauma has “sprouted” into the subconscious.
Nervous exhaustion
The psyche can be injured in another way - exhausted from overload. In modern conditions, it is not difficult to earn such exhaustion. It is enough to do everything possible to ensure that life meets the “high standard of quality” - to get involved in many things. Meanwhile, the psyche has a limit of strength. It is not designed for ultra-high loads. Having reached the boiling point, it begins to evaporate - to become exhausted, and the exhausted psyche is like a bare wire. If you touch it, it will explode.
There are other reasons, but these are the main ones. In general, all the reasons rest on the brain. After all, our life is the work of our brain. Thanks to this work we think, feel, experience, see and hear - we live! We also get irritated “thanks” to His Majesty the Brain.
Attacks of aggression in children
Quite often, parents of young children are faced with an unusually pronounced disturbance in the upbringing of their child: he spits, uses swear words, bites, swings at other children or his loved ones, and throws small things. Of course, this behavior cannot be ignored.
However, in no case should you reprimand the child or try to wean him from such actions by force - this will only lead to a worsening of his condition. In such a situation, it is necessary to analyze what is happening, pay attention to the conditions under which the baby becomes irritated, and understand what provoked it.
Most often, attacks of aggression in children occur due to various external factors: failure to get what they want, trouble and a tense atmosphere in the family, “testing” a certain model of behavior on adults. Young children can show aggression by biting adults. For a small child, a bite is a unique way of learning about the world around him and making contact with it.
If there is a desire to get something, to achieve something, and in conditions of the impossibility of this desire, a child can bite an adult. With this he can express his experience or failure, try to assert his rights. Don't forget that babies can bite in self-defense when they feel in danger.
There are cases when a child’s aggressive behavior is provoked by indulgence in the family, when the child always gets what he wants, achieving it by shouting and showing strength and affirmation. In such cases, parents should be extremely patient and calm, since such a condition very quickly goes into an advanced stage and is difficult to correct.
Remember that a child is prone to imitation and following an example. His behavior, most often, is a mirror image of what is happening in the family. Analyze the situation, understand why your baby behaves this way, and only then start adjusting his upbringing.
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How are emotions born?
The limbic system of the brain is responsible for our emotions. It is she who produces autonomic and endocrine reactions (release of hormones, increased heart rate, etc.) in response to an irritant. When it comes to emotions like aggression, this reaction occurs in a tiny organ of the limbic system, located deep in the temporal lobe - the amygdala.
Normally, the neurons of this zone are excited under strong stimulation - when a person is really “fed up” and needs to stand up for himself. I defended myself - and the neurons of the limbic system calmed down. In a person with psychological trauma or emotional exhaustion, the neurons of the amygdala are constantly in a state of “combat readiness” - excited.
Along with hyperactivity of neurons in the amygdala, irritable people have decreased activity of neurons in the prefrontal cortex (anterior part of the frontal lobes), and this area, by the way, is responsible for the mechanisms of suppressing aggression - the control of emotional and behavioral reactions.
When the activity of the frontal lobes is suppressed and the amygdala is excited, any weak stimulus causes a strong reaction. We talked about the dangers of this reaction, but have not yet answered the main question - what to do?
Etiology
The reason for uncontrollable outbursts of anger may be the following:
- diseases that lead to hormonal imbalance;
- diabetes;
- elevated cholesterol levels;
- stroke;
- head injuries;
- Alzheimer's disease;
- asthenia of the nervous system;
- hyperthyroidism;
- chronic diseases of various nature;
- premenstrual syndrome;
- psychiatric diseases.
In addition, it is necessary to highlight external factors that can also lead to uncontrollable outbursts of anger in women and men:
- taking certain medications, including sleeping pills;
- alcohol abuse, taking narcotic drugs and psychotropic drugs not as a treatment for a specific disease;
- chronic fatigue, constant lack of sleep;
- insufficient rest;
- tense environment at home and at work;
- frequent stress, chronic depression;
- dissatisfaction in personal life;
- severe psycho-emotional shock;
- moral violence.
Separately, it is necessary to highlight the etiological factors that may cause such a disorder in children:
- severe lack of attention;
- improper upbringing, permissiveness, lack of control;
- complex psycho-emotional situation in the child’s environment.
Only a qualified specialist can establish the exact cause of the development of such a symptom in a person; self-medication, in this case, is extremely dangerous.
What to do: treat irritability with pills?
After reading the previous chapter, many will have the tempting idea of “cure” irritability with pills. Indeed, since there is a imbalance in the functioning of the neural system, let’s restore it! Fortunately, the pharmaceutical industry offers a lot of “pills”. Where necessary, they will raise the tone. Where necessary, they will relax.
Indeed, harmony can be restored with medications. True, not for long. And with consequences. Because pills that can regulate something in the brain work on the “here and now” principle. Drinking helps. If you stop, you “explode” again. And their use (if we are talking about working medications) is really dangerous. Memory problems, drowsiness, and depression are typical consequences of treating irritability with medications. And many of them are addictive...
- Pills mask the symptom, but do not eliminate the cause!
...So how to treat irritability?
There are two safe options for treating irritability:
- self-help;
- psychotherapy.
You can try to solve the problem yourself. Analyze possible reasons and learn to express anger constructively. If the reason lies on the surface, it is possible to direct the energy of aggression into a peaceful direction. It is enough to teach yourself a new response skill. After all, habit is not blood type. It can be changed.
But more often the problem lies deeper - in the layers of the unconscious. Only a specialist can get there and only with the right tools. Such a specialist is a psychotherapist. The tools are methods of psychotherapeutic assistance, including EDMR therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and hypnosis.
Benefits of psychotherapy:
- identifies and eliminates the real causes of irritability;
- gives a stable psychotherapeutic effect without relapse;
- has no contraindications, residual or side effects;
- does not require long treatment - on average 10-15 sessions are enough.
It sounds attractive, but many will ask the question: “Where are the guarantees?” Indeed, when you give money, you want to get results.
Our guarantees for the treatment of irritability
Almost none of the specialists give guarantees for psychotherapeutic work - the soul, they say, is a delicate matter. Experts think differently. We are willing to minimize your risks and provide you with a refund upon request within 14 days of your first session as long as you follow the exercises diligently. Read more about guarantees in our article.
If you do not want to take medications, are tired of dealing with the problem on your own, or have a negative experience of seeking psychotherapeutic help, call our center or leave a request on the website. And after 10-15 sessions you will gain more inner peace, emotional balance, psychological immunity and faith in psychotherapy!
