Stress in a child after kindergarten and school: what to do, skills development

Advice from Dr. Komarovsky if a child cries in kindergarten

Quite quickly, an unintelligent baby crawling on the floor turns into a preschooler who needs to go to kindergarten.
Parents always hope that the process of getting used to kindergarten will go without problems. But this rarely happens. In most cases, soon after starting a visit to such an institution, the child begins to cry.

What should mom and dad do in such a situation? Dr. Komarovsky will give a lot of interesting and effective advice.

If a child cries in kindergarten, Komarovsky advises doing something based on the characteristics of the baby himself. He even uses a special term - “non-Sadovsky” child. Such little ones cry at the mere thought that it is time to go to kindergarten.

They also do not obey, are capricious and often get sick. All these manifestations are associated with a change in the usual situation. Before doing anything, it is important to understand what changes are happening to the child. When a child starts going to kindergarten, the following problems arise.

The child has to communicate with a large number of new people - kids and adults. He will definitely cry often if he is not ready for this.
The connection with parents is lost, which used to be very strong and seemed inextricable.
There is a high risk of developing colds due to changes in the microclimate in which the child is located.

Any of these problems can lead to baby crying. It may not be possible to avoid this. But at least to some extent it will be possible to make the child’s life easier. Komarovsky will tell you how to achieve this.

Adapting to kindergarten is not easy for a child. This technique can provide good support in this regard. It is recommended by pediatricians, and for some time now #8212; and psychologists.

Reasons for a child's tears

First, you need to understand the reasons why the child is crying. Komarovsky notes that every child is a terrible conservative.

Therefore, children perceive change as a serious threat to themselves. As a result, there is nothing left to do but gradually accustom the child to change.

Komarovsky describes the following situations when tears appear when visiting kindergarten.

Constant stress. Finding itself in an unfamiliar environment, the baby begins to worry and subsequently cry. Feeling alone, children inevitably react negatively to what is happening. Therefore, they must understand that their parents will definitely pick them up.
Decreased immune function. Komarovsky has repeatedly noted that visiting a kindergarten is a serious blow to the immune system. Due to the weakening of the immune system, colds are becoming more common. For the most part, mom and dad start taking him to doctors and feeding him antibiotics. All this negatively affects well-being and mood. As a result, the child begins to cry.
Excessive parental care. Even a loving mother and father often become a real problem for the development of the baby’s psyche. Attending kindergarten becomes a huge challenge, because the child does not feel cared for when separated from his parents.

Then what needs to be done according to Komarovsky if a child cries in kindergarten? You should start from what the reason is. Options for solving this problem, proposed by the pediatrician, will be presented below.

What to do?

The most important task, as Komarovsky says, is gradually accustoming the child to kindergarten. You can make the process of adaptation to preschool easier if you act in several “directions” at once. Mom and dad in such a situation should do the following.

Expand your social circle in advance. Getting used to a new environment should begin even before the child starts going to kindergarten. This will help him gain basic communication skills, as well as test the strength of his immune system. It is necessary to go to parks and playgrounds more often and introduce your offspring to other kids.
At first, you should not send your child to kindergarten for the whole day. First, it is enough to bring him for an hour, then for half a day, and so on. This means that mom should not go to work right away. First, she must always be at home to pick up her son or daughter early.
Talk to your child about kindergarten. Every time your child returns home, you need to find out from him how his day went. This will allow you to better cope with traumatic experiences. This should be done for as long as possible until complete adaptation occurs.

If you do exactly as described above, you can speed up the addiction. Komarovsky does not rule out that the child will still cry. But he will get through this difficult period faster and easier. Parents just have to show maximum patience, because it’s not as difficult for them as it is for the baby.

» Miscellaneous » A child is crying in kindergarten: what to do | Komarovsky

But this happens very rarely. In most cases, soon after starting a visit to such an institution, the child begins to cry.

If a child cries in kindergarten, Komarovsky advises what to do, based on the characteristics of such babies. He even uses a special term - “non-Sadovsky” child. Such kids cry at the mere thought that it is time to go to kindergarten.

When a child starts going to kindergarten, the following problems arise.

The child has to communicate with a large number of new people - kids and adults. He will definitely cry often if he is not ready for this.
The connection with parents, which used to be very strong and was considered inextricable, is lost.
There is a high risk of developing colds due to changes in the microclimate in which the child is located.

Any of these problems can cause the baby to start crying. It may not be possible to avoid this. But at least to some extent it will be possible to make the child’s life easier. Komarovsky will tell you how to achieve this.

First you need to understand the reasons why the child is crying. Komarovsky notes that every child is a terrible conservative.

Therefore, most often children perceive changes as a serious threat to themselves. As a result, there is nothing left to do but gradually accustom the child to change.

Komarovsky describes the following situations when a child may cry when visiting kindergarten.

Constant stress. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment, the child begins to worry and subsequently cry. Feeling alone, children inevitably react negatively to what is happening. Therefore, they must understand that their parents will definitely pick them up from kindergarten.
Decreased immune function. Komarovsky has repeatedly noted that visiting a kindergarten is a serious blow to the immune system. Due to the weakening of the immune system, colds are becoming more common. And then you have to urgently decide what to do with the child. For the most part, mom and dad start taking him to doctors and feeding him antibiotics. All this negatively affects well-being and mood. As a result, the child cries.
Excessive parental care. Even a loving mother and father often become a real problem for the baby. Komarovsky says that visiting kindergarten in this case becomes a huge challenge, because if separated from the parents, the child will cry often.

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Then what should you do according to Komarovsky if a child cries in kindergarten? You have to start from what the reason is. Options for solving this problem, proposed by Komarovsky, will be presented below.

The most important task, as Komarovsky says, is gradually accustoming the child to kindergarten. You can make the process of adaptation to preschool easier for him if you act in several “directions” at once. Mom and dad in such a situation should do the following.

Expand your child’s social circle in advance. According to Komarovsky, getting used to a new environment should begin even before the child starts going to kindergarten. This will help him gain basic communication skills, as well as test the strength of his immune system. It is necessary to go to parks and playgrounds more often and introduce the child to other kids.
At first, you should not send your child to kindergarten for the whole day. First, it is enough to bring him for an hour, then for half a day, and so on. This means that mom should not go to work right away. First, she must be at home all the time to pick up the child early.
Talk to your child about kindergarten. Every time your child returns home, you need to find out from him how his day went. This will allow you to better cope with traumatic experiences. As Komarovsky says, this should be done for as long as possible until complete adaptation occurs.

If you do exactly as described above, you can significantly speed up the addiction. Komarovsky does not rule out that the child will still cry. But at least he will get through this difficult period faster and easier. Parents just have to show maximum patience, because in this situation it is not as difficult for them as it is for the baby.

Post published: 08/08/2016

Adapting to kindergarten is stressful for any child. The baby is used to being close to his mother all the time, in the center of her attention. And now he found himself in a completely new environment. He is surrounded by strangers, a large number of peers, but the closest person is not nearby.

Stress can manifest itself not only in crying, but also in hysterics, a categorical refusal to go to kindergarten, or a refusal to communicate with children. The adaptation period is also different for each child and can last from several days to several months.

Introduce your child to kindergarten gradually. A few months before you plan to start attending kindergarten, tell your child about this place, what they do there and how they spend their free time.

It is important to interest the baby in advance so that he awaits the day when he will be led into this mysterious adult world. It is equally important to begin to observe the regimes at home that are provided for in the child care institution you have chosen.

This way the baby adapts faster and easier to the new environment.

On the first day, leave your baby in the garden for just a couple of hours. If this time passes calmly, then you can gradually increase the period of stay in the kindergarten. It is important that the child gets used to the fact that you will definitely come for him later, and does not worry about this. After 1-2 weeks, you will be able to start leaving the baby for the whole day.

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Why does a child not want to go to kindergarten?

What to do?

At some point, parents will definitely face the problem of their child attending kindergarten.

It would seem that what could be difficult here? After all, responsibility for the baby is transferred to third parties who will take care of him and make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.

However, not everything is so simple in this case. Dr. Komarovsky has his own opinion on this matter. It can offer recommendations for adaptation.

Preschools have both positive and negative aspects. It is necessary to go through adaptation for the following reasons.

The garden itself is a great place to adapt to society. The child gains the necessary communication skills and, which Komarovsky especially emphasizes, significantly strengthens the immune system. Parents or grandparents will not ensure the full development of the child.
But visiting a kindergarten is a huge threat to both health and psyche. Children who attend kindergarten get sick much more often, and sometimes suffer mental trauma due to the wrong approach of mom, dad and teachers.

That is, the importance of adaptation in this case turns out to be enormous. What can be done to make adaptation more successful? Komarovsky recommends paying serious attention to the following aspects.

It should be noted right away that even in the most comfortable kindergartens, children get sick much more often than at home. Moreover, the adaptation period is seriously extended over time. For some children, three months is enough, while others do not go through adaptation in a year. Therefore, Komarovsky gives such recommendations regarding primary adaptation.

It is better to give the baby away while the mother is on maternity leave. As soon as the first signs of the disease appear, the child can be left at home for several days without any problems. And diseases, as Komarovsky says, will definitely arise.
It is necessary to wisely choose the time of year when the baby will go to kindergarten. The adaptation will be more successful in summer or winter. But the off-season is far from the best time. In autumn and spring, colds are more rampant than ever.
First, parents should inquire about the policy for raising children in kindergarten. The doctor advises sending the baby to an institution where they do not force-feed children and do not try to insulate them as much as possible during walks. This makes adaptation quite difficult.

If you take into account such advice from Komarovsky, the horse will be better protected from diseases.

But what can mom and dad themselves do to maintain his health and at the same time mentally prepare him for visiting this institution? There are also many important aspects here, without which it will not be possible to achieve normal adaptation. Accordingly, the child’s physical and mental health will be at risk.

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Even in very difficult cases, adaptation occurs sooner or later. But you should make sure that it goes away faster and is painless. For parents who care for their children in the best possible way, Komarovsky advises to adhere to such moments.

In the first months of visiting, your son or daughter should be treated especially favorably. For them, the garden is a huge stress. If the parents also turn out to be too harsh in their treatment, one cannot count on successful adaptation.
Even before the child goes to kindergarten, the circle of people around him should be expanded. Therefore, it is worth going with him to playgrounds or making acquaintances in the park. There are many clubs for preschoolers, where they can also find new friends. A few visits to the circle are enough for adaptation to proceed faster.
Komarovsky also recommends taking care of strengthening your immune system in advance. It is much better if the child has developed protection against bacteria and viruses. Then its adaptation will be simple, and the frequency of diseases will be significantly reduced. This means that the baby’s health will remain normal.

Naturally, there are many problems with adaptation. But he notes that illnesses in childhood are not only inevitable, but also to some extent beneficial. Having caught a cold earlier, the child will receive more lasting protection from diseases in the future. Parents can only simplify the process of getting used to it. This is not so difficult to do if you approach the process responsibly.

The period of adaptation of a child to kindergarten raises a lot of questions among parents.

What awaits the baby away from his mother? How can I help him adapt to the new environment? The process of addiction is accompanied by certain characteristics and changes in the baby’s behavior.

There are physical and psychological techniques that help parents ensure quick and painless adaptation for children of different ages.

Adaptation is the process of adapting the body to changing factors, in particular to the environment, nutrition, and daily routine. For a child, attending kindergarten is a kind of stress. Strangers, a new group of children, separation from beloved parents. The baby needs time to get used to all this.

Important! Parents can help their child get through a difficult period painlessly and quickly. Remember that adaptation is not only a psychological process, but also a physical one.

Degrees of adaptation

All children adjust to kindergarten differently. For some, it is enough to spend just a day in a new environment in order to cheerfully tell their mother in the evening about their adventures and the joys of communicating with new friends.

However, most children get used to it gradually. In most cases, the adaptation period is accompanied by tears and the child’s reluctance to go to kindergarten.

Parents' worries intensify if the baby begins to get sick often.

There are three degrees of adaptation of the baby to kindergarten:

Easy adaptation. In this case, the child gets used to the new place in 3–4 weeks. The period is not accompanied by health difficulties or changes in the baby’s behavior. An easily adaptable child:
lets mother go without tears or whims;
not afraid to join a group;
is in a stable emotional state;
tells parents about what happened that day;
communicates easily with other children;
interested in toys in the group.
Moderate adaptation. The period of addiction is characterized by frequent manifestations of diseases against the background of a stable emotional state. The child does not experience strong psychological discomfort from being in a new team, but often catches a cold. This is due to the entry into the body of new bacteria and viruses that other children “bring with them.” For children who regularly attend kindergarten, these viruses are not dangerous. In a newly arrived child, bacteria unfamiliar to his body can cause illness. This adaptation lasts approximately one and a half months and is distinguished by the following characteristics:
cries for a short time after parting with parents, quickly switches to active play activities;
tension before play or communication lasts several minutes, after which the child begins to actively interact with adults and peers;
responds adequately to comments or requests;
Only occasionally violates the norms and rules of behavior, gets used to finding a common language with peers and adults.
Difficult adaptation. Accompanied by physical ailments and negative emotional manifestations. It is difficult for a child to control emotions. He often cries and categorically refuses to leave his mother and go to kindergarten. Signs of severe adaptation:
in the morning the baby cries for a long time and does not switch to the toys offered to him;
during the day he constantly thinks about family members who will take him away from the group;
withdraws, refuses to contact others, take toys and participate in games;
When the teacher notices or encourages him, he gets scared and seeks support from his mother.

A pediatrician, child psychologist and neurologist will help you survive difficult adaptation. The positive attitude of adults is important.

A positive attitude from parents helps the child adapt faster

Possible problems

There are certain difficulties that parents face when sending their children to kindergarten:

whims. Children who initially enjoyed visiting the kindergarten may suddenly refuse to go there again. They express their disagreement with tears and hysterics. This is due to the fact that the child initially perceived going to kindergarten as a temporary phenomenon. Having played enough and realizing that his mother will leave him in a new place every day, the baby stages a “protest.” In this case, you should not be led by children's emotions. Calmly explain that you need to go to work; he will spend the day in an interesting place with friends;
refusal to eat. Unusual food in kindergarten often causes negative emotions in newly arrived children. There are little picky people who refuse to eat all day. Gradually, the child will begin to try the food offered. Parents who are faced with this problem should feed their baby tightly in the morning;
negative emotions: screams, tears, hysterics. Negative manifestations will end when the baby understands that you will definitely come for him in the evening. Many children are initially afraid that their mother has left and will not return. This fear, which seems funny to adults, can seriously disturb a small child. Reassure the baby, promise to come in the evening. Remain calm yourself, children feel everything perfectly well.

Full adaptation occurs no earlier than 1–2 months after the start of attending kindergarten. Throughout this period, it is important for parents to provide all possible support to the child. After all, it is from the mother that the baby expects approval and consolation when any difficulties arise. How can parents help?

Tip: buy clothes and shoes with buttons or Velcro. This will allow the child to cope with dressing quickly and without outside help.

Prepare in advance. Several months before starting kindergarten, you should adhere to a daily routine. Take an interest in the organization and routine in the kindergarten. Gradually teach your child to live according to this schedule. The usual times of sleep and meals will greatly facilitate the period of getting used to the new environment.
Ensure physical readiness. When entering kindergarten, a child must have basic skills: hold a spoon independently, use a potty. Such seemingly trifles should be taken care of in advance.
Keep your child positive. Talk about the positive aspects of visiting the garden: new friends, interesting activities, walks. Play kindergarten at home.
If possible, introduce your child to the teacher in advance.
Then the new adult will be immediately perceived positively, like an old acquaintance. Invite your child to take his favorite car to kindergarten. The toy will calm you down and help you avoid difficulties during the adaptation period.
Give your child his favorite toy. It will remind you of home, calming the baby. In addition, the toy is a great reason to get to know and play with children.
Be positive about your garden. The child “reads” all your emotions instantly. Show interest, be calm. Be sure to discuss in the evening what interesting things happened during the day. Praise your child and try to create a favorable emotional atmosphere associated with being in kindergarten.

conduct psychological preparation of the child 3-4 months before the start of the kindergarten;
tell your child more often about the benefits of the garden, for example, many kids like to hear that they have become adults;
on the first day in kindergarten, do not leave him for more than 2 hours;
allow you to take a toy from home with you (just not too expensive);
clearly define the time frame when mom will pick him up, for example after breakfast, after lunch or after a walk;
communicate with your child and ask him about his day every time;
don't be nervous and don't show it to your child, no matter how hard it may be for you.

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